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American Horror Story : Apocalypse


Iceheart
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Called it, Venable-wise! Which isn't to say Venable isn't still on the table for my Halloween costume, especially if I stress flare like last year... I have all the pieces already (shut up), and my cane will just look like a prop.

 

I'm just going to go ahead and assume that the naked pentagram snakes scene was a direct riff on Kylo Ren with Vader's mask in TFA, and now I really need a monologue in which Michael communicates his deep existential pain at having to live with being responsible for nuking every Hot Topic. Also, if Tate Langdon is Actual Satan, I will laugh endlessly.

 

I'm guessing bio Miriam Mead was the nanny Constance hired after Michael killed the one at the end of Murder House? It was smart of Constance to go ex-military.

 

As a Michigander, the choice of sending Red Delicious apples was pedestrian at best, they were probably flavorless, and they probably came from Washington State. Also, that scene was RIPE for a Harry & David joke, damnit.

 

Speaking of the apples, how the **** many snakes did Michael summon up with his emo ritual that Venable and Mead could milk them for a JAR of venom?

 

I yelled SURPRISE, BITCH! at the screen some five times over the course of the episode, so when Madison opened with it I nearly kicked my computer and Mr. Fat off my lap laughing.

 

COCO'S A WITCH? :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Mallory, duh, for a few reasons. Dinah we didn't know much about, so okay. But Coco?!?!?!?!?

 

And Bright Blessings to Ryan Murphy for resisting the Satanic Witches trend. Not that Michael Langdon isn't my favorite character this season so far.

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YOU GUYS. We're watching the Prequels. YOU GUYS.

 

Okay, even non-woo types know that you don't go to a suburban supermarket meat counter asking for anything more exotic than four pepper turkey cold cuts.

 

Speaking of people just not knowing how to get **** done, why the **** have the witches and warlocks separated themselves? Oh, yeah, so Anakin Michael Skywalker Langdon can bring balance to the Force.

 

I am left with a deep desire to unite the covens and make all their caped asses watch The Incredibles.

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Hey, I think I'm doing a pretty admirable job of keeping up a one-sided conversation here :p

 

I agree, the last episode started to make things more cohesive. Although I've only ever seen one episode of Scream Queens, so I can't comment on that last bit.

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If you're only focusing on the execution, sure. We've got a community of divided magic users that's creating conflict, we have a supernaturally conceived teenager seen to be the great hope to restore balance, and he ultimately restores balance by destroying everything. Same story. Same floppy hair on the protag. Executed better in a 45 minute tv episode than in 6 hours of film.

 

I do think it's funny watching all these people freaking out about being sexually attracted to the Antichrist when they've been stanning Vader their whole lives.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Of course the antichrist is sexually attractive. Hes the antichrist.

 

Kinda liked this season at the start. But then tying the other seasons in made me roll my eyes. They could have stuck to a post apocalyptic satanic cult story and it would've been fine. Instead they brought back stevie nicks and all that.

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Of course the antichrist is sexually attractive. Hes the antichrist.

 

 

 

But I'm pretty sure there's a Bible verse somewhere that says you're going to Hell if you want to fuck the antichrist. Or possibly just a tumblr post from an Uncomfortable Teen :lol:

 

Yeah, Stevie Nicks made more sense when she was walking through Robichaux's singing the song they named the Supreme trials after as the girls got ready, and I was very ready for a similar scene where she followed Michael around (which would have been amusing af), but singing a whole damn song that had nothing to do with anything? I also thought it was pretty funny that the Warlocks were all like DOWN WITH WITCHES! and then Stevie Nicks walks in and they're like I'LL ACCOMPANY YOU ON THE PIANO YOU ARE A QUEEN AND A GODDESS.

 

I don't mind the crossovers, but I'm trying to figure out how they're going to have the time to wrap up the flashbacks and also wrap up the 18 months post-apocalypse standoff in Outpost 3 that's been left hanging for three episodes so far in a ten episode season.

 

As an aside, the Church of Satan is pissed that they used Anton LaVey as a character in the last episode, because LaVey and the Church of Satan don't actually believe in the concept of Satan as a real supernatural figure, nor do they believe in an Antichrist. On the one hand, I totally get it. On the other hand... dude purposefully appropriated and associated himself with a well-established and infamous figure in the Christian faith. And the Church very publicly endorsed The Witch, where it was made quite explicit at the end of the movie that Satan was supernaturally driving the whole plot. So I do find it a bit weird that this set them off. If it were me, the "Satanists are all psychopathic killers" thing would be what was grating my cheese.

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Yeah I was thinking Anton LaVey must be pissed at the show's depiction of him. I mean, its borderline slander.

The noise over this was ridiculous and over-shadowed Lange's return, and arguably, one of the best episodes of AHS ever.

 

Did they forgot LeVay LIKED being mis-portrayed? He played the devil himself in Rosemary's Baby.

 

This grand unification episode has been literally a decade in the making. I loved it. I could have done with an entire season of Madison and Behold in the murder house.

 

...but it's still bonkers. Let's not forget that two episodes ago, in the middle of the third act, we entered a flashback and we haven't left it yet.. and other characters are having flashbacks within that flashback.

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... I was today years old when I learned that was Anton LaVey in Rosemary's Baby. I feel like I should have known this sooner.

 

The only thing I'm disappointed about is that Madison, Behold, and Constance didn't fuck it up together with a bottle of Crown.

 

So. Shall we play "Who's the post-apocalyptic Rubber Man?" now that we've seen Michael in the suit?

 

09-ahs-rubberman.w700.h467.2x.jpg

 

 

http://digitalspyuk.cdnds.net/18/42/768x448/gallery-1539856997-screen-shot-2018-10-17-at-213244.png

 

Not a good picture (the only one I could find, though), but I think we can all agree that Michael is not the owner of those thighs or shoulders from Outpost 3. Not that he didn't outright tell Gallant that, but he is Father of Lies's kid.

 

It's clearly not Tate, he hates Michael. And he's got a slight frame, too.

 

I was about to dismiss Chad, since Zachary Quinto was also pretty slender the last time we saw him in the suit... but a google image search shows me he's bulked up a bit recently, so it could be Chad, we don't know if he had a relationship with Michael when he lived in the Murder House or not.

 

Or Michael stuck a random demon in the suit.

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Yeah I can't wait for it to jump back to the scene where the Michael is being confronted by the Witches.

 

As a side note, his grown up long-haired Antichrist is one of the best depictions of a Lucifer I've seen in ages. Great characterisation.

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As a side note, his grown up long-haired Antichrist is one of the best depictions of a Lucifer I've seen in ages. Great characterisation.

 

 

I absolutely adore that he's totally WASPy American Jesus. I thought my anti-religious ass was just projecting thanks to a book I read for college, but I read an interview with Cody Fern, and he flat-out said he played it like he's playing Jesus. Brilliant.

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Guest El Chalupacabra

 

Oh! I want to play!

 

Murder House: Read the pilot a year before it was made and thought it was dumb and derivative. Eventually watched it a couple years late and realized the script did not convey the crazy tone. Once that I got that the idea was to intentionally throw everything at the wall, I was in. Loved it.

 

Asylum: SUPER loved Asylum. The amount of crazy thrown into this one was hilarious. Nazi scientists, aliens, possessed nuns, A Santa serial killer, even a musical episode! I loved it.

 

Coven: Major disappointment. The promos for this one were so cool that my expectations were high. I loved the characters, but at the same time this one felt most like they were making it up as it went.

 

Freak Show: Really uneven. Anything with Sarah Paulson and Jessica Lange was great, everything else was very meh.

 

Hotel: Probably my favorite season. It meandered a little, but I thought it was sexy, cool, and everything AHS promised to be that it lacked in the previous two seasons.

 

Roanoke: It was okay. I didn't love the premise, but it had a few gold moments. Ultimately forgettable though.

 

Cult: If they hadn't tried to cash in on the clown thing this could have been great. Like Coven, it felt like they were making it up as they went and characters did **** that made no sense based on what they were doing a few episodes before. Ultimately average, with moments of gold and moments of WTF.

 

Apocalypse: As I said, it looks like it's what I wanted Coven to be, so fingers crossed. Seems like a logical follow up to Cult. After this they're going to have to go into space.

 

OH GOD I HOPE THEY GO TO SPACE

 

So, gun to my head: 5, 2, 1, 4, 6, 7, 3.

I largely agree with you on everything you said, but I have yet to see Cult.

 

Murder House was pretty good, and was the first season I saw and made me want to see more. I have a particular revulsion for Coven. Just everything plot-wise about it was dumb, and if it weren't for Lang, Bates, and Bassett, I'd have nothing good to say about that season. It's a tough call between Asylum and Hotel. Those are my top 2. I actually liked the first half of Roanoke. Once they started in with the reality TV BS, I hated it. I liked Freak Show, but it was uneven.

 

So, since I haven't seen this season yet, I did watch Cult, and now I am going back through the rest of the show, minus coven.

 

only 4 episodes in, but Hotel is even better this time around, and I forgot how awesome the sound track is. Same with Freak show.

 

Still enjoy Murder House. Also enjoyed Asylum, but more uneven than I remember. I think it is the UFO stuff that sours it a little. Other than that, still good.

 

Really enjoyed Cult. Not the strongest season, but love the clown call back to Freak Show.

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Guest El Chalupacabra

Yeah I was thinking Anton LaVey must be pissed at the show's depiction of him. I mean, its borderline slander.

You can't slander the dead, at least in the US. That's why you have tell-all books AFTER said person is deceased.

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Guest El Chalupacabra

I didn't think he was dead?

Yeah, since the late 1990s. The only reason I know is I took a world religion class where he came up when I was in college and he died around the same time. Without looking it up, I want to say 1997.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yeah. I tried really hard to get Mrslukeskywalker to watch in the first few weeks of the show because Genderqueer Pansexual High Victorian Goth Antichrist is basically her entire personal aesthetic, but since she's never seen AHS before, I dropped it when it became clear that this is even harder than picking up Infinity War if you're an MCU n00b.

 

Three things stood out to me in the last episode:

 

Michael's hair keeps getting redder and redder, to the point where my dad has started calling him Carrot Top, and it occurred to me that gingers have no soul so this is entirely appropriate.

 

And he seems to know how to find himself Satanic Aunties to take him in and feed him and give him even eviller ideas, and since I watch this show while medicating I realized this makes him the Auntiechrist and damn it that had me giggling for hours.

 

The third thing might just be me misremembering things, but I swear when Venable first met Michael in Outpost 3 they both established that they had never met before. But if Venable was managing the company for the tech bros who built RoboMead, how could they not have met, even just in passing? Wasn't Michael in the room when she brought the jar of cocaine into the lab? Even if he wasn't, there's no way those idiots she worked for wouldn't have told her the whole story, and she still didn't seem to know that she had the Antichrist in her outpost around episode 2. That seemed weird.

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