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My "friend" was busy telling them I was with him, what I had done, and where to find me. That's why they were on me so quick, they were heading to his car with his keys to collect me. They called me by name when I walked in. Took them 2 minutes to break him. Returning was a mistake, but not the big one.

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Got busted for snagging a carton of cigarettes when I was underage from Walmart. I grabbed the carton and went straight to my friend's car, as per the plan. He never showed. I waited a couple minutes then threw the carton out into the field next to the parking lot. I walked back in as innocent as possible, thinking I would make a pass across the front of the store to see if I could spot him, then walk home if I didn't. They were on me instantly. My friend decided to go through the checkout and buy a pack of gum, with a carton of cigarettes down his pants, so that he didn't look suspicious... They searched for half an hour before they found the cigarettes I threw into the field. Tenacious bastards.

 

I am banned from Walmart for life, still shop there on occasion. Always give that mall cop wannabe that busted my dumb ass a polite nod when I see him.

 

Got a year of probation and a few weeks in detention. Learned a lot. Mostly about choosing accomplices.

So you were a snot nosed ass trying to steal cigarettes and you are going to make fun of the security guard who was actually trying to earn money and do his job?

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When I was a student teacher in Atlanta there was a high school that a kind of sweet deal going at Walmart until they got caught. Someone from the school would be a cashier and these kids would come up with CDs and games to scan but the cashier would palm and actually scan a pack of Wrigley Gum instead so it looked like it scanned the CD but really they were charging them for candy. At the time the greeters weren't at the front doors checking receipts so you would just walk out and kind of waive a receipt but you had your bag with your candy and a CD. It got too big and once the whole school was in on it teachers learned about it and the ring was broken.

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Got busted for snagging a carton of cigarettes when I was underage from Walmart. I grabbed the carton and went straight to my friend's car, as per the plan. He never showed. I waited a couple minutes then threw the carton out into the field next to the parking lot. I walked back in as innocent as possible, thinking I would make a pass across the front of the store to see if I could spot him, then walk home if I didn't. They were on me instantly. My friend decided to go through the checkout and buy a pack of gum, with a carton of cigarettes down his pants, so that he didn't look suspicious... They searched for half an hour before they found the cigarettes I threw into the field. Tenacious bastards.

 

I am banned from Walmart for life, still shop there on occasion. Always give that mall cop wannabe that busted my dumb ass a polite nod when I see him.

 

Got a year of probation and a few weeks in detention. Learned a lot. Mostly about choosing accomplices.

So you were a snot nosed ass trying to steal cigarettes and you are going to make fun of the security guard who was actually trying to earn money and do his job?

That's why he gets the polite nod dude, don't get all sensitive and shit. I'll always be an ass, but I lost the snot nosed part when I got a job of my own. I make fun of that one too.

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No. But I did get fired from a job once because this girl I worked with told them I was stealing from the store. My boss checked my bag and everything. She didn't find anything because lo and behold, I didn't take anything, but they fired me anyway. Their reasoning was that this girl "definitely saw" me take something before, so it didn't matter if I had anything on me that day.

The store was a card/gift shop in the mall and was owned by an older couple who owned a bunch of random businesses but didn't actually work at any of them. They made me drive out to their lake house to pick up my last paycheck and demanded my parent's phone numbers so they could call them to tell on me. I was 20 at the time. Hadn't lived at home in 2 years.

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My "friend" was busy telling them I was with him, what I had done, and where to find me. That's why they were on me so quick, they were heading to his car with his keys to collect me. They called me by name when I walked in. Took them 2 minutes to break him. Returning was a mistake, but not the big one.

Are you still friends with the snitch?

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Not friends anymore. I didn't go all Gotti on him either. He did get stitches though. I'm pretty sure it was an accident, but it felt so good I can't really say for sure. I don't really do the revenge thing though.

 

Last time I saw him he was crying the blues about getting kicked out of his apartment and looking for a place to stay. He had ignored repeated warnings from his roommates about filling the apartment up with stolen contraband and getting a reputation as a thief (not to mention the things they had found missing). Somehow I forgot to mention the two extra bedrooms in the house my wife and I were trying to start a family in.

 

I had a lot of patience with that fool because I felt sorry for him. He came here to stay with relatives after his schizophrenic mother tried to kill him with a kitchen knife. The relatives kicked him out and my family took him in for a year and a half. I tried to help him up, but I had my own problems and helping him always seemed to hurt me. I wouldn't have been in that store if it weren't for him. We had a cigarette connection, but he didn't want to pay the mark-up and I thought I could keep him out of trouble. Inviting him into our household did serious damage to my family. I haven't trusted anyone the same way since him. I don't let sympathy get the best of me anymore, whether it should or not.

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Not friends anymore. I didn't go all Gotti on him either. He did get stitches though. I'm pretty sure it was an accident, but it felt so good I can't really say for sure. I don't really do the revenge thing though.

 

Last time I saw him he was crying the blues about getting kicked out of his apartment and looking for a place to stay. He had ignored repeated warnings from his roommates about filling the apartment up with stolen contraband and getting a reputation as a thief (not to mention the things they had found missing). Somehow I forgot to mention the two extra bedrooms in the house my wife and I were trying to start a family in.

 

I had a lot of patience with that fool because I felt sorry for him. He came here to stay with relatives after his schizophrenic mother tried to kill him with a kitchen knife. The relatives kicked him out and my family took him in for a year and a half. I tried to help him up, but I had my own problems and helping him always seemed to hurt me. I wouldn't have been in that store if it weren't for him. We had a cigarette connection, but he didn't want to pay the mark-up and I thought I could keep him out of trouble. Inviting him into our household did serious damage to my family. I haven't trusted anyone the same way since him. I don't let sympathy get the best of me anymore, whether it should or not.

Wowzers. You sure can learn a lot about people even off the back of a throwaway thread (isn't that what the Cantina is for?) about shoplifting.

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Not friends anymore. I didn't go all Gotti on him either. He did get stitches though. I'm pretty sure it was an accident, but it felt so good I can't really say for sure. I don't really do the revenge thing though.

 

Last time I saw him he was crying the blues about getting kicked out of his apartment and looking for a place to stay. He had ignored repeated warnings from his roommates about filling the apartment up with stolen contraband and getting a reputation as a thief (not to mention the things they had found missing). Somehow I forgot to mention the two extra bedrooms in the house my wife and I were trying to start a family in.

 

I had a lot of patience with that fool because I felt sorry for him. He came here to stay with relatives after his schizophrenic mother tried to kill him with a kitchen knife. The relatives kicked him out and my family took him in for a year and a half. I tried to help him up, but I had my own problems and helping him always seemed to hurt me. I wouldn't have been in that store if it weren't for him. We had a cigarette connection, but he didn't want to pay the mark-up and I thought I could keep him out of trouble. Inviting him into our household did serious damage to my family. I haven't trusted anyone the same way since him. I don't let sympathy get the best of me anymore, whether it should or not.

I wonder if he had a mental illness.

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