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You’re Rian Johnson... now what?

Tarss

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#26
Tank

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Of course every time I say "hey you know what would be a cool SW story..." The Mara's and Zerimar's of the world pipe up with WELL YOU SHOULD READ THOS BOOK, and sometimes I do and it's the literary equivalent of poop smeared on a page.

Well see if I keep being your friend. 
 
Also please, when was the last time I told you to read a Star Wars book?


You love me. Our banter is fun.

You told me to read the Obi-Wan book after I said I wanted a western old man Obi-Wan story.

I didn't care for it.

 

I never read the EU and am so unfamiliar with it I wouldn't know if what I'm saying has been covered. Also I feel Star Wars works best when there is a backstory to draw from. Which is why although I like the idea of The First Jedi I think that general time period but with The First Jedi as backstory works better. Having said that, here goes:
 
Background: Takes places roughly 80 years after the very first Jedi (the founders) discovered the Force and began using it. They trained others in The Force however exactly what the Jedi should do with their power was never determined. They were concerned with learning more and no one ever decided what The Jedi should actually be. When The Founders started dying off their students became fragmented, eventually dispersing throughout the Galaxy. Some were essentially good guy Knights errant, some became evil Knights, others basically went home and used The Force for insight and meditation. The main point though is that there was no actual Jedi organization.
 
Secondly there is no Republic. Each system is their own state essentially. Some are peaceful, some are warlike. Some are powerful, some are weak. There is no body that keeps the peace  between them.
 
 
Direct setup for first movie: One of the powerful, warlike planets (evil planet for now) has been conquering other worlds. They are now invading another planet. The movie starts with this invasion.
 
Now this isn't like the invasion of Naboo. The planet being invaded can defend themselves and it is a large, violent battle. The evil planet's army is led by an evil force user (The Black Knight) who has several other evil force users under his command. The planet being invaded puts up a good fight but the evil planets forces are too strong. During this invasion a young boy, roughly 18, (the hero) is being told to leave by his mother. She reaches into an old chest and hands him a light saber and directions to find men who can help him and their planet. He doesn;t want to leave but his mother is killed so the boy flees. As he flees he runs into a girl about his age who has a ship (the pilot). They have to get through some enemy fighters to get to their ship, the hero uses his lightsaber to do this. The Black Knights sees this and is intrigued, not just cause it is a lightsaber but by that saber in particularly. Eventually the hero and the pilot get to a ship and take off, theya re able to get through the enemy blockade and head for safety.
 
They arrive where the heroes mother told them to but can't find the men they were sent to find. They wander into a bar and begin asking around. A young girl leaves (the student). After a while the hero runs into trouble with some rough customers and gets into a fight, using his saber again. He can't handle the situation but before he can come to a bad end three men enter the bar with sabers drawn and save him. They bring the hero and the pilot back to their hideout. At the hideout there are 3 Jedi essentially in their prime, the student and an elderly man who is bed ridden. The hero gets some rudimentary Force training. He is being talked to by the elderly man and shows him the saber. The elderly man explains it is a very special saber but before he can say more theya re attacked by the Black Knight who was able to track them. He has brought several evil Jedi with him and also soldiers. The good guys cannot hold them off. The bed ridden man summons his strength and gets up, telling the others to leave. They do. The old man then summons all his strength and gives a  huge showing of force powers to allow an escape, however the strain is too much for him and he collapses. The Black Knight kills him.
 
The hero wants to return to his home planet to help but the three Jedi know that they alone cannot do this. They need help. They head to another planet who is known to be a "good" planet and who have a beloved leader (The President). They plead with him for help, the President says he would like to but his people are not ready for war now, however he can send a small band of volunteers.
 
Our heroes head back to the original planet for the climax. They are able to overcome the evil planet and save the day. The hero faces down the Black Knight but is defeated however he is saved by the other Jedi. The movie ends with the hero beginning his Jedi training in earnest.
 
 
Movie 2: Don't have nearly as mapped out but the key points are 1-the main plot is that the evil planet now goes to war with the Presidents planet. They are the 2 most powerful planets in the Galaxy, so its an epic war. 2-The Hero learns he is a direct descendant of the first Jedi and the lightsaber he wields is the first saber ever made. 3-The war is won by the evil planet but the President is able to escape.
 
Movie 3: Mainly about 2 groups coming together. The Hero, who as the descendant is seen as a potential leader who can bring all the Jedi togethe, goes around and recruits the dispersed Jedi to come and help. 2-The President recruits other planets to the cause of defeating the evil planet, saying no system can stand up to the evil planet alone but together they can win. It all comes together in an epic battle where the Hero and his newly recruited Jedi face off against the Black Knights evil Jedi and the alliance put together by the President faces off against the evil planet. The good guys win. The Hero is now the leader of all the Jedi who came together to help win this war. They establish the Jedi Temple and Jedi Order we know. The alliance put together to defeat the evil planet is the earliest form of the Republic with the President becoming the very first Chancellor.
 
 
Sorry about the crappy monickers like "The Hero" and "The Evil Planet", I just didn't think of names.

 
This is pretty cool! I always liked the each system is their own thing. This was sort of set up in the PT, but was one of the few things they didn't spin out talking about.

At any rate-- this is super Star Warsy feeling.

Before I can tackle what I would make it, I need to figure out what I wouldn't make it:

-I wouldn't make it about the early days of of the old republic, jedi, etc... For personal reasons. I want the technology to stay the same because it what makes it SW to me. I don't wanna cut back to before they had these advancements. I wanna see what else they would do with the technology we already know. And if there wasn't much change that would bug me even more, like there wasn't much change in technology for a thousand years and then suddenly during a couple generations it's exponentially growing by leaps and bounds. Also it feels like this LOTR/Zelda-looking new TLJ is styled like that because of the early days of the Jedi theme in the film. That's ok for one film for me, but a whole trilogy of it would feel so un-Star Warsy to me. (But RJ wouldn't do that!) hey GL lost his way, I wouldn't put it past RJ to do the same. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Also I'm tired of origin stories anyway, I want new new new.

-no more what happened between the PT and OT stories. I'm tired, tired, tired. Unless it has nothing to do with the rebellion or the OT heroes, leave it a alone. Leave room for interpretation for people's own head canon. Also avoid having to cgi dead OT actors, and having to create a million new SEs because of your contradictions.

-no 'dark jedi', or rogue jedi or anything to try to try to outdo the main jedi/skywalker storyline. If I get a purple-haired mascara wearing double lightsaber-wielding Emo punk jedi who's even more skilled than Rey I wouldnt even bother to watch the trilogy.

-don't make it a scenario where the fate of the galaxy rests on these peoples hands


I agree with all these 100%

#27
The Choc

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Thanks Tank, my original thought was almost a Three Musketeers type story where the hero shows up wanting to be a Jedi and essentially on Coruscant there are 2 group of Jedi, basically "The Jedi" and "The Sith". Sort of like the Musketeers and the Cardinals guards in Three Musketeers, they don't like each other but are not openly at war against each other. I couldn't really get it to work though.

 

As far as what I did come up with, gave it some more thought, especially the backstory. I like the idea of the main character being descended from the very first Jedi, which I had already mentioned. This obviously means that his father was descended from the first Jedi too. The idea I like is that the heroes father was actually the leader of the Jedi, based on his lineage. His two best friends were the Black Knight and one of the Jedi who trains our hero. As time went on the Black Knight and the heroes father started to believe the Jedi should not serve the people but should lead them and from there it wasn't a large leap to should rule the people and eventually should enslave the people. This led to a battle between the Jedi with the heroes father being killed by one of the Jedi who trains him.

 

I think that would actually be a cool reveal, the climax of movie two the hero finds out that not only was his father the descendant of the first Jedi but that he was on the side of the Black Knight, but then to top it all off he was killed by the Jedi who has become like a father to him. 

 

Also the elderly man I kinda of envisioned as not the very first Jedi but part of the first group that was directly trained by the first Jedi. 



#28
The Choc

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It;s funny about the technology aspect in that I really don't care all that much. Personally I never felt Star Wars was sci fi. It has sci fi trappings but its not actually sci fi. The technology is there to serve the story, not the other way around. That's the thing about Star Wars in general as compared to say Tolkien. In Toklien the world is the main thing and the story takes place in that world. In Star Wars the world is made to suit the story. Obviously you need some consistency to it all but I don't think it needs to be perfect and I really don't care about seeing the evolution of technology in the Star Wars galaxy. That's not saying that anyone who is into that aspect is wrong.

 

However I will say that someone who is into that is an outlier, very few people care about that. You need to boil this down and ask this question "why is Star Wars so popular?" There are alot of reasons but I'd boil it down to a few. First is the action, plain and simple. The movies have good, fun action. Second is the idea of destiny and someone from humble beginnings finding out they are special and a whole larger world opening to them. People love that. I'd say those are the 2 biggest reasons. 

 

Now in a standalone movie they may go away from this kinda stuff, not the action obviously but the heroes journey type thing. For one movie, sure they will do that. However for a whole trilogy that once they market it could cost them like a billion bucks to make? They are gonna go with what works. They aren't going to worry about whether the technology is changing at the correct rate. If they go way into the past i don't see the tech being all that much different. I mean once you can travel at the speed of light how much would it change anyway. 



#29
Filthy Jawa

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A Cheers-style sitcom trilogy set in Mos Eisley Cantina?


I always find it so nerd-blind when people say things like "access to any actor in Hollywood", I'm sure you didn't mean it literally and you realize that there are plenty of actors who have no desire to be in Star Wars, but it always makes that spot behind my left ear itch when I read that.

#30
Jacen123

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I'm looking at all of you.

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#31
Poe Dameron

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I'd tweak Lucas's original plans for the sequel trilogy and produce it.


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#32
The Choc

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I'd tweak Lucas's original plans for the sequel trilogy and produce it.

You have access to them? 



#33
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Rian Johnson does.

#34
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That's true but I doubt think Rian Johnson is going to spend the next 10 years of his life simply adapting Lucas' sequel ideas. 



#35
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If Poe was Rian Johnson, he would.

To not be flip, the question is what would you do, not what would Rian Johnson do. Since Johnson is a powerful man in Hollywood, the obvious answer is that he would sexually harass someone while sitting on a pile of money.
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#36
Zerimar Nyliram

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I can't quote on my work computer. Not sure of the reason for that, but bear with me.

 

The days of the Old Republic, at least in the EU, were no less technologically advanced. The Star Wars universe is hundreds of thousands of years ahead of us in technology that they seem to have reached a zenith, wherein technological advancement is nearly stagnant because they literally have everything they could ever want. Therefore, Knights of the Old Republic, set four thousand years in the past, is nearly identical to the aesthetic of the films.

 

Secondly, the Jedi did not discover the Force, according to the old canon. They were not the first to know about it nor were they the only Force-using organization in the galaxy; they simply became the most prominent. I will have to share the details of my Jedi origins idea once I get home tonight. I was working on it for ten years, constantly reworking it to fit the current canon as new information was released. The release of Dark Horse's Dawn of the Jedi series pretty much brought it to a halt, but now that it has been discontinued with the birth of the Jedi never actually having been shown (the one thing I am thankful for concerning the Disney buyout), I think I could probably adapt it to fit that storyline. I was simply calling it Star Wars.



#37
pavonis

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 I was simply calling it Star Wars.

But the 1977 film is Star Wars. Won't that title be confusing, and just a bit presumptuous? 



#38
Tank

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Because tech in SW is already maxed more or less Id love it if Rians trilogy, or my made up one Im still pondering, didnt place itself in time in relation to the saga. Theres technically no need to.
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#39
El Chalupacabra

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And really, in the KOTOR era, it has EVERYTHING the movie era has.  Lightsabers, hyperdrives, blasters, droids, Mandalorians, everything.  And that is about 5000 years before Luke.    So, people getting hung up on technology being too primitive if you go back to the old republic era, doesn't really hold water.  

 

BTW, I am not necessarily looking for a recreation of the KOTOR games or comics.  I just think the new trilogy should go back in time, like centuries before, when the sith were almost as numerous as the jedi.  If it draws on EU Old Republic era stuff, then bonus.  If not, still could be done well.  It would be nice to see a full on war between the jedi and sith, and find out how the jedi defeated them.  I always wanted to see what it was that Maul was referring to when he said he wanted revenge on the jedi.  It would be cool to see a full on war that is stalemated, and the jedi finally get the upper hand and wipe out the sith, but it turns out they did so with less than honorable means.  That could tie in what is going on with Luke in Episode 8, as well as Darth Maul's statement.  



#40
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Well, I've given my idea some thoughts and made some changes. Here is something I wrote, basically the opening of the movie. Bear in my mind I have no talent for writing at all! 

 

 

We pan down from a sea of stars to focus on a blue-green world in the distance, it is flanked by several moons. A large warship moves into the frame heading towards the planet. Emerging from the larger ship is a smaller transport ship which is flanked by several small fighters. The ship makes it's way towards the planets surface.

 

The ship lands and the ramp extends out from it, exiting the ship is a man dressed in rich red robes lined with gold around the edges. He is near fifty years old but has the regal bearing of royalty and great wealth. He walks down the ramp slowly and assuredly. Waiting for him is a man dressed in black robes, not as tall and a generation younger. The older man begins to speak, he has a calm almost polite manner but underneath is a tone of pure disdain for those he sees as below him. He asks the underling is he is sure that he sensed it? The underling replies that he is, he knows what he felt. The older man replies “I hope so, I do not enjoy having my time wasted.” “Yes Lord Lucen” replies the younger man. The two head towards a village.

 

Inside a humble yet neat and well kept home a mother is tidying up her kitchen. She is in her mid 40s and it is obvious in her youth she was a great beauty. The years though have not been kind although there is a still glimpse of her youthful beauty about her. She yells for her son “Dunn, don't you think of heading out for the day unless that mess of a room is straightened out!” We hear a voice from the other part of the house yell back “It done mom! I promise!”. The look on her face shows that she has her doubts.

 

There is a loud, hurried knocking on the door. She runs over to answer. It is an older man, somewhat disheveled. “Ella, the Lord is here. He is coming!” “Coming where to the village?” she replies. “No, here. To this house. I overhead him, will be here in a moment. Ella looks extremely worried. The old man hurries off saying “I was never here.”

 

Ella goes to her room and grabs some things out of a chest and then goes to speak with her son. She tells him she has to speak with him, he says he is on his way out but she won't allow him to leave. She is in a hurry, scared. She tells him that she can't explain but he has to trust her. She says the Lord is coming looking for her. She asks her son to lie and say she is off planet but if it doesn't go well she will turn herself in. The son can't understand what she means, why would the Lord be looking for his mother? She continues, handing him two objects. The first is a lightsaber, Dunn has no idea what it is. She then hands him some kind of map. She tells him if things go wrong that he needs to run, to get away and get off the planet. Use the map to find some men, they will help him. Dunn is in shock and tries to ask a question, just then the Lord arrives. Ella runs off to hide.

 

Lord Lucen enters with his retainers. He immediately turns to his underling and says “you were right, I sense it as well.” The underling lets off a huge sigh of relief. Dunn stands up to face Lucen and asks the Lord if he is looking for Freedom Fighters, Lucen replies that no he is not here to find common criminals. He asks the boy about his mother, Dunn tells him she is off planet on an errand. Lucen chuckles. He turns to one of his officers and asks if the mother is off planet, the officer replies she is not. Lucen says to Dunn “well either you are lying or your mother is off planet illegally without permission.” Dunn takes a nervous gulp. Lucen says it is no matter, he can sense that there are two here and that he is out of patience. He puts his hand out in front of him as if he is choking the air and Dunn immediately drops to the ground, gasping for air. Lucen ignites his red lightsaber and puts the end underneath Dunn's chin. He yells out loud “mother, oh mother please come out or I will be forced to kill the boy.”

 

 

Ella emerges from her hiding spot and upon seeing her Lucen is in shock, He releases Dunn from his choke and turns his saber off. Lucen has a dumbfounded look on his face “Ella? Ella, is it you?” She gives him a stern look but says nothing. “It is you” he says in disbelief “then that would mean that he is his son? Ofcourse it does, you were never the type to...” and he trails off. He begins again “why would you do this? Live in this squalor? The two of you should live in luxury, be held in high regard! Come with me and you will be!!”. Ella finally speaks “I'd never come with you.” Lucen is disappointed but not surprised. “You know I can't leave his son here. You know I won't allow it. Come willingly, it will be better for us all!” Dunn looks on in stunned silence, he can't make sense of what Lucen is saying.

 

Ella once again reitertates that she will not go with him. In a resigned sort of manner Lucen orders his men to take Ella and Dunn prisoner. In a flash Ella pulls out a lightsaber, ignites it and uses a force push to knock all of Lucens men over. Lucen however was able to withstand the push. He gives a smile “Well, at least you haven't been wasting your time doing nothing!” Ella yells to Dunn to leave. He stands almost rooted to the floor. Ella then yells in a tone Dunn had never heard before which commanded that Dunn listen, he ran off just as Ella and Lucen cross sabers.

 

Dunn runs out of the house and into the streets of the village, Lucens men come to and chase after him. Lucen runs towards the hills.

 

Inside the house Ella and Lucen are fighting trading barbs. They seem relatively evenly matched, The fight eventually takes them out of the home and into the streets.

 

Dunn is heading towards the hills but the men are gaining on him. He is nearly cornered and doesn't know what to do. He pulls the saber his mother gave him out and ignites it. He has no idea how to use it though and it is of no use to him. The soliders encircle him. Just then seemingly out of nowhere a group of men and women pop up, and get into a firefight with Lucen's soldiers. The soldiers are all killed. Dunns saviors pick him up and try to carry him off but Dunn struggles yelling “My mom, my mom!” One of them, a youngish woman tells him that if he goes back there he will be killed. They can all see the dual taking place down in the village below them.

 

The fight goes on between Ella and Lucen, but eventually Lucen gains the upper hand and kills Ella. He stands over her with a sadness in his eyes, he is taking no joy from this. He asks one of his men about the boy, he says he seemingly has escaped. Lucen stays calm and says he must be found, it is of utmost importance. Stop all shipping to and from the planet, no one is to arrive or leave the planet. He then looks down at Ella's body “Oh Ella, he really did love you.” He then tells his underlings to make sure the body is taken care of before he slowly walks away.

 

Up on the hill Dunn looks on this scene in horror, trying to scream for his mom. His saviors are covering his mouth. They finally allow him to talk when he has calmed down. He looks around at the men and women who saved him and says “You are freedom fighters?” The girl replies “Freedom fighters, traitors, criminals, whatever!” and they all walk off towards their hideout.


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#41
The Choc

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Also, I know the names kinda suck. 



#42
Tank

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It’s already better than Phantom Menace
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#43
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I agree.

I mean.. I get that the dialogue is paraphrasing and would need to be "properly" written as it were.. But as a general plot outline I'm invested already. Though it does mirror the beginning of Rouge 1 significantly. Though having said that, in the star wars universe a Dark Lord come knocking uninvited is pretty standard modus operandi

#44
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I'll 100% agree that it is alot like Rogue One. But yeah the idea of evil showing up on the doorstep of seemingly normal people isn't something that is only in Rogue One or Star Wars in general. I'd hope the differences in terms of 1-the scene takes place during the time frame of the main plot rather than being years before it and 2-the bad guys weren't looking for Ella and Dunn here, just checking into someone who is strong in the Force and it turned out to be someone who had a history with Lucen.

 

However, no denying it's similarities to Rogue One.



#45
DANA-kin Skywalker

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 I personally would like a KOTOR-inspired trilogy set centuries prior to the rule of two Sith, featuring original story and characters (that doesn't necessarily contradict the KOTOR era, either). Maybe focus more on the Sith, instead of the Jedi?  We still haven't seen a Braveheart style battle between Jedi and Sith in a live action movie (similar to the cut scenes of the Old Republic MMO).  I'd like to see John Noble playing an Emperor-style Sith lord.

This.
Old Republic setting, focusing on the Sith before the rule of two. The Sith in numbers take over the galaxy, the Jedi numbers already ravaged by war, but still have a lot of fight left in them. They leverage the Sith's inherent tendencies to destroy themselves and save the galaxy.
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#46
The Choc

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 I personally would like a KOTOR-inspired trilogy set centuries prior to the rule of two Sith, featuring original story and characters (that doesn't necessarily contradict the KOTOR era, either). Maybe focus more on the Sith, instead of the Jedi?  We still haven't seen a Braveheart style battle between Jedi and Sith in a live action movie (similar to the cut scenes of the Old Republic MMO).  I'd like to see John Noble playing an Emperor-style Sith lord.

This.
Old Republic setting, focusing on the Sith before the rule of two. The Sith in numbers take over the galaxy, the Jedi numbers already ravaged by war, but still have a lot of fight left in them. They leverage the Sith's inherent tendencies to destroy themselves and save the galaxy.

 

Stuff like this as a frame for a story is great, no issue with it. But in reality it's just a setting. The real story is the characters. Who is the main character? What is his journey? 


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#47
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A powerful Jedi who has fallen to the dark side, but has a serious bone to pick with the Sith. He was orphaned as a child by them, or they destroyed his home world or something. His training is completed by the Jedi but he's fueled by vengeance. The Jedi figure instead of ignoring him it's safer to train him so they can have some measure of control, but he runs off on his own, gets a crew together, infiltrates the Sith headquarters under the pretenses he's a fallen Jedi, but doesn't actually want to join them, he wants to destroy them. He (poetically) gets his ultimate vengeance and destroys them through some kind of self-sacrifice in the end, saving the galaxy.
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#48
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I like that. My only concern and this is a concern about others opinions not mine is that would people root and like someone who has essentially fallen to the dark side? I mean if he really is dark then he should do bad things, right? If you just say he is fallen but he doesn't act that way then saying he has gone dark is just lip service. Maybe create a sort of co main character, maybe a Jedi he was close with while with the Jedi but before he fell who just wont give up on him? 



#49
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Well I wrote a bit more today. The main thing is about explaining what the objective will be later but there is abit more. Writing it in this manner I know there will be some days where I'm motivated to write and make it a bit more detailed while others, not so much. Plus there are some sequences and scenes that i have in my head that I love and some other sequences and scenes that well just need to happen to get to the scenes I love. The scene to scene pacing I don't love through this section but that is something that if I really wanted to I could probably work out. Well maybe work out. Anyway, here goes. Thanks for the positive feedback thus far.

 

 

On the way back to the freedom fighters hideout Dunn tries to talk with the youngish female. She is older than Dunn by roughly 10 years. She has a hard beauty about her, a scar on he face and a stringiness from a lack of food but the beauty in her face and eyes is unmistakeable. Dunn is taken by her immediately. The girl, named Kara, can sense it but to her Dunn is a child. She has a quick wit and a sarcastic mouth. She is somewhat annoyed that they've put their lives on the line for this boy. But she will follow orders, she has a sense of duty.

Upon arriving at the hideout, which is little more than a sparsely furnished series of caves Dunn is taken aback. These freedom fighters have been a thorn in the side of the occupying force for some time and yet they are so ill equipped. Dunn can't believe that the enemy hasn't simply been able to wipe these guys out. It's a testament to the freedom fighters determination that they haven't. Dunn is introduced to several of the men and women including the leader, Drack and his top lieutentant, Lio. Drack can't make out why the enemy seems to want Dunn so badly but he knows the boy must be important. Lord Lucen hasn;t made an appearance here in quite some time. He says they need to get him off the planet, as long as Dunn is with them he places them in danger as Lucen will turn up the pressure to find him.

 

However this is no easy feat. It is explained by the Freedom Fighters that the Akkadians are able to control the planet thanks to “The Tower”, a large building that dwarfs every other building on the planet. It is able to control all ships in space near the planet. It can send out a pulse that destroys all ships in the area. Thus no navy can attack the planet because all of their ships could immediately be destroyed. They are able to smuggle a ship or two off at a time by waiting for an Akkadian ship to arrive or depart and taking off at that time as the Akkadians would not want to destroy their own ship to prevent a single ship from leaving. (The tower cannot aim it's power, when used it will destory all ships in orbit or close to orbit). The argument continues though as all the Fighters believe that the Akkadians will shut down all shipping to and from the planet until Dunn is found, making it nearly impossible to smuggle Dunn off the planet. They will have to bide their time and figure out a plan.

 

Dunn sits alone in a room when Kara enters. Dunn is grieving his mother. Against her initial instinct Kara sits with him and tries to talk him through it. They eventually ignite his saber and both take a turn wielding it around. They've never seen or heard of anything quite like this. Kara says she doesn't understand how this could be of any use against blasters. Dunn has to agree.

 

Drack is discussing the situation with his lieutentant Lio who asks if Drack really thinks the boy is so important. Drack reiterates his thought that Lucen would not be on the planet if he wasn't. They have to get him off the planet, for everyones good. Lio has a serious look, as if he is taking all this information in. 

 

Lucen sits on a throne like chair with retainers all around him. The room he is in has every luxury you can imagine. The robes he wears now are even more elaborate then the ones he was wearing earlier. There are several men reporting to him on the situation on the planet. The whereabouts of Dunn are still unknown which doesn't make Lucen very happy. An officer walks up to Lucen and whispers in his ear, Lucen says to allow him in. Entering the room is Lio who offers to give up the Freedom Fighters hideout and Dunn. Lucen asks him to explain his newfound cooperation. Lio says that they've fought the Akkadians for years and have won numerous “victories” but none of it has helped. Their small band of fighters will never win, he realizes that now. Plus he expects to be well paid. Lucen seems disgusted and stands up, begins to walk around this room. He tells Lio “We've been enemies for a long time, I've often received reports of your band. They all said how fierce and determined you were. Although you were my enemy I always respected you. But now you turn your back on your brothers. No honor. I however do have honor so I will pay you for this information but I never want to see your backstabbing face again.”

 

Back at the hideout Kara is sitting outside on a rock keeping lookout, Dunn walks out and sits besides her. Kara acts annoyed but she is starting to actually like this kid, although to Dunn's chagrin not romantically. The two talk into the night staring at the star filled sky. Drack walks out to join them and asks Kara where Lio is, Kara says he went out some time ago. Drack asks why and Kara casually sayst he claimed to have business to take care of. Drack has a worried look on his face and says the notify him as soon as Lio returns.

 

It's the next morning and the cadre is worried about Lio's whereabouts but they are about to find out what he's been up to. The morning look out sounds an alarm and chaos breaks out. Lucen is leading a large group of soliders to the hideout. The freedom fighters set up to defend themselves but Drack pulls Kara to the side and tells her to get the kid off the planet. Kara asks how, with all shipping being stopped. Drack yells back “figure it out” as he runs to join the fight.

 

Kara and Dunn head off through a series of caves and are followed by a few soldiers. There are some close calls but Kara shows her skill as a fighter and Dunn chips in as well. The pair is able to escape into the tunnels.

 

Back at the main fight the freedom fighters are overwhelmed and rather quickly defeated. Lucen holds one of the defeated men up by the scruff of his collar and asks where the boy is, the freedom fighter spits in his face. Lucen kills him.

 

Drack and a few of the fighters have fought their way to safety. They look back at the smoking ruin of their hideout. Drack can only say “let's hope Kara got out of their”.

 

Kara and Dunn have managed to get out of the system of caves and are in the clear for the moment. Dunn asks Kara how they will get off the planet, Kara says she has no idea.


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#50
DANA-kin Skywalker

DANA-kin Skywalker

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I like that. My only concern and this is a concern about others opinions not mine is that would people root and like someone who has essentially fallen to the dark side? I mean if he really is dark then he should do bad things, right? If you just say he is fallen but he doesn't act that way then saying he has gone dark is just lip service. Maybe create a sort of co main character, maybe a Jedi he was close with while with the Jedi but before he fell who just wont give up on him? 

One of his crew should be a legit Jedi so there's a comparison. They could be very good friends, and bicker like an old married couple for the lols but more importantly to try and keep him on the straight and narrow. Or, perhaps this Jedi is a woman, whom he's constantly trying to mack, but she's a tried-and-true Jedi who shuts him down at every turn, reminding him of the Jedi code that he keeps breaking anyways. Stealing, smuggling, frivolous mind-tricking, force-choking, murdering Sith and framing a rival Sith causing chaos...that sort of thing. He out-Siths the Sith. Very Machiavellian.

He definately shouldn't be a total douche-bag, but he should break all the rules to get what he wants. The Jedi council say he fell to the darkside, but in the end he casts doubt in that wisdom by accomplishing what they couldn't because they are too handcuffed by their own rules to be effective against the Sith threat.



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