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Ranking the MCU


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Cause this is the sort of nerdery we do...

 

 

My list, from BESTEST to WORSTER to WORSTEST

 

1. Captain America: Civil War

2. Captain America: Winter Soldier

3. Iron Man

4. Spider-Man: Homecoming

5. Guardians of the Galaxy

 

6. Avengers

7. Ant-Man

8. Captain America: First Avenger

9. Incredible Hulk

10. Doctor Strange

 

11. Thor

12. Iron Man 3

13. Thor: Dark World

 

14. Age of Ultron

15. Guardians of the Galaxy 2

16. Iron Man 2

 

Top five are great action adventure superhero films. 6-10 are good, but don't hit max potential. 11-13 are the weaker entries that I've only seen once for completion sake, but didn't like them enough to watch again. Pretty indifferent about them. 14-16 are actively BAD movies with serious flaws.

 

Funny how some of these movies, like Avengers, ranked higher for me at some point, but either didn't hold up as well, or got simply outclassed. Also interesting some of the lesser decent movies are still essentially connective tissue to the other movies. Like, you can't really have Civil War without Age of Ultron setting it up.

 

Clearly, despite thinking Thor is cool, I've never liked his standalone films, though hopefully that will change with Ragnarok which looks bananas.

 

I'm feeling like Black Panther may break the top five based on what I've seen thus far. Ant-Man was a surprise for me, so if they hit magic again with Ant-Man and The Wasp I'll be thrilled. Captain Marvel is a personal favorite. Outside of The X-Men and Iron Man she's probably my favorite Marvel character. I think Larson is a great pick, but I'm not sure how I feel about a retconned 90s origin story for her.

 

Obviously, Infinity War has the potential to take the top slot given that it's all the pieces that made Civil War great AND MORE.

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Somehow I got to the point where there's a bunch I haven't seen. Really need to get on that.

- Ant Man

- Dr. Strange

- Guardians 2

- Spider-Man Homecoming

 

1. Avengers (still falters on re-watchability but I always go back to how freakin' much I enjoyed this in theatres)

2.. Iron Man

3. Captain America: Civil War

4. Captain America: Winter Soldier

---

5. Guardians of the Galaxy

6. Thor

7. Captain America: First Avenger

---

8. Thor: Dark World (honestly remember nothing about this movie)

9. Avengers: Age of Ultron

10. Incredible Hulk (Don't remember anything about this either, frankly)

11. Iron Man 2

12. Iron Man 3 (probably not this bad, but my expectations were so high this movie sucked)

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Haven't seen the Ed Norton Hulk or the second GotG.

 

1. Captain America: The First Avenger

 

Stylish, witty, long on heart and short on flaws. Great performances, some extraordinary technical achievements (when they Benjamin Button up Chris Evans, duh-doy, but a lot of the usual SFX is better in this'n than it is for a lot of the others, at least to my eyes) and it ends great (I wonder if it might even count as a twist ending for an uninformed audience unaware of who Cap is and what he's about; maybe not since the movie opens with a prologue establishing the recovery of the ship [and shield!] from the end sequence, and then goes to a second prologue where the Red Skull badgers David Bradley a little, and then goes to a third semi-prologue with Chris Evans trying to lie his way into the service, well, I may have misspoken when I said "short on flaws", the movie is plenty flawed, it takes forever to really get going, for one, and the love interest's appeal seems entirely down to Hayley Atwell being fun to watch rather than anything in the script itself) with both the villain and the hero being responsible for their own downfall (the Red Skull defeats himself, inadvertently, by his hubris in thinking he can master forces far beyond the reach of mortal men while Cap chooses the moment of his own 'death' so he can save the lives of others).

 

2. Thor

 

I may just be ranking this so high because I just rewatched it and really enjoyed it lots and lots. Careful attention to what happens in this'n will show you that Loki is actually the hero, not the title character; he's absolutely correct in his assessment of Thor's character, is rightfully distraught at finding out his whole life has been a lie, and acts according to the best interests of his adopted people once he finds himself, through no fault of his own, as their leader. Thor is just some big angry jock who casually kills dozens of jötunns in hand-to-hand combat at the beginning of the movie and by the movie's end is willing to be killed in turn to save the lives of some random New Mexico townfolk --- meanwhile here is Loki, bravely making the hard choices and destroying a xenophobic culture (among whose practices include infanticide, animal cruelty, assassination, and acts of espionage in violation of prior treaty) in a single stroke and mercifully backhanding Thor rather than immolating him via the Destroyer once he surrenders during the film's climax. I guess what I'm saying is that Loki is the best, that scarf he wears during the scene where he lies to Thor on Midgard is the best, that scene itself is pretty great, really the movie's only villains are Laufey (played by Colm Feore!) and S.H.I.E.L.D. itself.

 

3. Captain America : The Winter Soldier

 

I haven't checked up where everyone else put this but I feel that considering this to be among the best of the bunch is not some deep departure from general nerd consensus. Just a lot of fun (although the screeching-cat noise that gets played each time Bucky shows up onscreen gets annoying upon repeated viewings).

 

4. Thor : The Dark World

 

I rate this way higher than just about anyone else out there, I think. Maybe I just really like Thor? I think I really like Thor. V. hyped from that new SDCC trailer - my expectations for the new Thor and the Black Panther are realistically speaking too high to be met by the movies unless they both really hit outta the park.

 

5. Captain America : Civil War

 

I think this is a better superhero crossover film than the Avengers, yeah.

 

6. Marvel's The Avengers

7. Avengers : Age of Ultron

 

These both succeed at what they're doing, at least for me, although there's a pretty steep drop from the original to the sequel. And everything after this is real curate's egg territory for me.

 

8. Iron Man II

 

Not sure, but I think this may be my favourite of the Irons Man.

 

9. Iron Man

 

It's mostly bad, folks. I like watching movie stars improvise their way through things on screen as much as the next guy, but, come on. I don't care a lot about Iron Man in general, he doesn't have no powers, he's just some good looking rich guy in a suit, there's no real juice behind his character for me, I suppose, I don't care about the problems of a guy who has what he has and still feels bad, and I don't see how Iron Man works as a foundation stone for an entire Marvel Universe (I know that their flagship property, their original starting point, AND their most popular roster of characters were all tied up w/other studios so they had to start somewhere but even so you gotta go with Captain America then, is the way I see it, if you don't got no Spider-Man and no Fantastic Four and no X-Men then it's obviously Captain America, right?) but what do I know? Not a whole lot, I guess. I don't like this movie much, I don't really care about watching Iron Man fight his evil surrogate stepdad or whoever Jeff Bridges' verison of Obadiah Stane was in this one.

 

10. Iron Man 3

 

Hah hah, they sort of screwed up in their timing and didn't get rid of S.H.IE.L.D. fast enough, huh? And you'd think that bringing in Shane Black would class up the joint, it didn't, I guess the directors don't really matter all that much on these things.

 

11. Spider Hyphen Man Colon Homecoming

 

Martin Starr's line of "What did I tell you about using the bell for comedic purposes?" should really bump this into the top-ten all by itself but I'm not feeling too generous at the mo'.

 

12. Ant-Man

 

I don't know, man. Theft is wrong. Don't steal. Don't take what isn't yours to take, whether that's movies from people working on 'em or Pym Particles from Corey Stoll. I kind of think Michael Peña's line about wondering whether or not he's with the good guys, the line from the movie's lifeless heist sequence at the end, that line was right, the rest of the movie was in the wrong. I might watch it again, though, and my hopes for the sequel (Michelle Pfieffer!! She was great in that dumb Madoff HBO movie!) are kind of medium-high at this point in time.

 

13. Doctor Strange

 

Hah hah this movie.

 

14. Guardians of the Galaxy

 

Audiences are easy marks, I guess, because this movie felt like a con. If I wanted to watch generic spaceships duke it out to super-obvious soundtrack choices I could go to YouTube. If I wanted to watch characters who should rightfully be at each other's throats inexplicably co-operate I could watch, well, just about any other movie out there. I really didn't like this one, not sure for certain if it should really go dead last (come on, self, you don't have even a little bit of love in your cold dead heart for Groot? For literal-minded Drax?) but I think it's the one I like the least when compared to what others like, I suppose.

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1. The Avengers

2. Captain America: Winter Soldier

3. Iron Man

4. Captain America: Civil War

5. Guardians of the Galaxy

6. Spider-Man: Homecoming

7. Ant-Man

8. Thor

9. Captain America: The First Avenger

10. Iron Man 2

11. Thor: The Dark World

12. Avengers: Age of Ultron

13. Incredible Hulk

14. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

15. Iron Man 3

16. Doctor Strange

 

I love The Avengers because I thought the build up to getting the team together was close to perfect. Doctor Strange I liked when I walked out of the theater, but I have just had no desire to see it again and is the only Marvel Blu-Ray I don't own.

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RC I expect to spew nonsense from bizzaro world,

 

Look, it's very simple. I love ugliness, hate beauty, and do opposite of all Earthly things.

 

[Edit : hah hah, I just realized I like all the ones w/ Jeremy Renner in 'em --- that's my dividing line of quality, somehow, inexplicably, the movies with Hawkeye in them get a pass from me for no apparent rhyme or reason.]

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RC I expect to spew nonsense from bizzaro world,

Look, it's very simple. I love ugliness, hate beauty, and do opposite of all Earthly things.

 

[Edit : hah hah, I just realized I like all the ones w/ Jeremy Renner in 'em --- that's my dividing line of quality, somehow, inexplicably, the movies with Hawkeye in them get a pass from me for no apparent rhyme or reason.]

 

You hold on for that Thor/Hawkeye team up...

 

RC I expect to spew nonsense from bizzaro world, but really Chalupa? Civil War is THAT low!?

 

And you know that Homecoming is a Spider-Man reboot right? no need to have seen the others.

Yeah, Civil War was not that interesting to me. Sorry. It came off to me more about the Avengers, and not Captain America-centrist enough.

 

As for Homecomng. Yeah I know it is a reboot and not even Sony. Just not all that interested. I will likely catch it at home at some point, but gotta say I am indifferent.

 

I am just not much of a Spiderman fan these days. Which is odd, because as a kid and a teen, I loved the guy.

 

I think after AoU pooped the super-bed there was this hilarious reaction where Whedon and fandom was all IT'S REALLY HARD TO SERVICE ALL THESE CHARACTERS and then Civil War just did it. It was the Avengers movie I wanted.

 

Personally, I'd love it if there was more cross over, and more Avengers doing Avengers stuff happen in all the movies-- but what makes them unique is the POV. Civil War was an Avengers movie, but it stayed very tightly in Cap's POV cause it was his movie. Tony got a little more play than he should of, but the tone and narrative was fitting.

 

And I wasn't a Spider-Man fan since I was 8 and I hated the Raimi and ASM movies. It was specifically the way he was in Civil War that made me interested in him again cause he seemed right. Homecoming delivered on that.

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1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2. Captain America: The First Avenger

 

^ Close to perfect Marvel movies, right next to Raimi's Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 (it says much that Raimi's two non-MCU films share that "best of" distinction, while the rest of the ever-so carefully planned MCU fail--in some way--to reach that level of quality).

 

3. Doctor Strange
4. Captain America: Civil War (but the Cap/Bucky scenes were so strong and consistent with the other films, it threatens to swap places with Dr. Strange)

5. Thor
6. The Avengers
7. Ant-Man
8. Iron Man
9. Thor: The Dark World
10. Incredible Hulk (...but its terrible that every bloated budget Hulk movie's Banner pales in comparison to the TV version perfected by Bill Bixby)
11. Iron Man 3
12. Iron Man 2
13. Guardians of the Galaxy
14. Avengers: Age of Ultron (get rid of the Marvel characters and its almost a Power Rangers movie)
15. Guardians of the Galaxy 2
16. Spider-Man: Homecoming

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Look, you know that line J. Michael Stracynzki (sp?) wrote in a comic book and they cannibalized for Emily Van Camp's speech in Captain America : The Winter Soldier (2014)? That line about how sometimes the world is wrong, and if everyone is telling you to move, you gotta plant yourself down in the ground and tell the world : "No, you move,"!

 

You know that line? Do you remember that line?

 

Well, that line means to me that the Thor movies are good, the Iron Man movies are not that great, and some of the ones you haven't seen were a real disappointment.

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Guest Robin

Captain America: Winter Soldier

Guardians of the Galaxy

Captain America: Civil War

Iron Man

Doctor Strange

Ant-Man

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Avengers

Captain America

Thor

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2

Thor: Dark World

Avengers 2

Iron Man 3

Incredible Hulk

Iron Man 2

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  1. Captain America: Civil War

  2. Marvel's The Avengers

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Iron Man 3

Iron Man

Iron Man 2

Captain America: The First Avenger

Guardians of the Galaxy

Ant-Man

Doctor Strange

Thor

The Incredible Hulk

Thor: The Dark World

They're ranked by running time, longest to shortest. It's objective that way. Therefore my ranking is the only correct one. :yes:

 

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Guest Robin

Ranks 1-3 earn 8 points.

Ranks 4-10 earn 6 points.

Ranks 11-15 earn 4 points.

Ranks 16-Beyond earn 2 points.

 

All lists then determine a combined list.

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1. Guardians Vol. 1
2. Captain America: Winter Soldier
3. Iron Man
5. Avengers
6. Spider-man: Homecoming
7. Guardians Vol. 2
8. Captain America: First Avenger
9. Doctor Strange
10. Captain America: Civil War
11. Ant-Man
12. Thor
13. Iron Man 3
14. Avengers: Age of Ultron
15. Thor: Dark World
16. Iron Man 2

There are a lot of films here that have not aged well at all. Avengers 1 gets away with a lot of cheese by nature of Joss Wheadon's dialogue and pacing, but things like Age of Ultron, Civil War, the first two Thors, and the Iron Man sequels look kind of half-assed and phoned in in retrospect. After Doctor Strange on my list, I don't really have much of an urge to revisit any of those films.

Also, Guardians Vol. 1 still blows me the hell away. I know it's not everyone's thing, but it still feels like a film that was specifically made for me and my taste, I don't think anything will top it for me.

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Hahahaha, y'all are gonna love my list.

 

Caveat: I have not seen every Marvel movie and apparently my Marvel movie tastes are very different than most people's. I tend to like fantastical superhero movies or period pieces, not movies grounded in current day reality. (My other two favorite superhero movies are Wonder Woman and X-Men: First Class, to no surprise). Also, I hate Tony Stark. Thus:

 

1. Thor - I love how crazy it is, and I love Chris Hemsworth.

2. Captain America: The First Avenger - He's the star-spangled man with the plan! Steve + Peggy = 4eva. I like this movie more each time I see it.

3. The Avengers - It's fun.

4. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 - It did what I wanted the first one to do, which is give more screen time to Gamora and Nebula's relationship. Also, it made me laugh a lot.

5. Iron Man - A very solid movie, even despite my hatred of Tony. He's much more tolerable in this movie.

6. Guardians of the Galaxy - Wasn't as enamored with this one as everyone else, although I loved the worldbuilding.

7. Captain America: The Winter Soldier - I WANTED to love this movie, and I did love all the Steve and Bucky stuff, but it just doesn't connect with me.

8. Thor: The Dark World - The fun parts are good. I like Thor having to team up with Loki. But the plot was kind of a mess.

9. Captain America: Civil War - Listen. I DON'T LIKE TONY STARK AND I DON'T WANT HIM IN MY CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIES. Mostly I just wanted everyone to stop fighting and just talk for god's sake. And for someone to smack Tony.

10. Iron Man 2 - See above.

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron - It's not good, Bob!

 

I have not seen:

Spider-Man: Homecoming (not enough of a fan of Spider-Man to care)

Iron Man 3 (see Tony Stark hatred)

Ant-Man (he was one of my favorite parts of Civil War so I'll probably get around to seeing this at some point)

Incredible Hulk (eh)

Doctor Strange (double eh - I'm sick of dude superhero origin stories)

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I really want to like the first Thor a lot more than I do. But so much of it is just so ineptly made.

The cinematography is atrocious and the script is kind of a mess. The only parts that really work for me are the "fish out of water" elements that are really funny, but other than that it's just a stone's throw from being as bad and forgettable as Incredible Hulk.

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