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Space Anus is the name of my new band.

They were Crocs, right????

How do you steal a 75-passenger airplane? https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/11/us/plane-crash-unauthorized-takeoff/index.html

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https://www.eastidahonews.com/2018/04/man-arrested-after-threatening-mormon-missionaries-with-knife/

 

POCATELLO – A man who allegedly approached two male Mormon missionaries and threatened them with a knife is being held in the Bannock County Jail.

Pocatello Police Department spokesman Lt. Ian Nelson tells EastIdahoNews.com Forrest Von John, 39, approached two Mormon missionaries in the 300 block of Washington Wednesday night. After asking to speak with them, Nelson says John displayed odd behavior. John began speaking in a strange voice and becoming more aggressive.
John pulled a knife and at one point was holding it within inches of both victim’s faces, Nelson says.
After putting the knife away, John grabbed one of the missionaries by the neck. A struggle ensued. Nelson says the missionaries were able to hold John on the ground and notify police.

Officers arrived around 9:30 p.m. and took John in custody.
John was arrested on two counts of felony aggravated assault. He is scheduled to appear in court Thursday.

 

They sat on the ASSailant until the cops showed up. Excellent interpretation of "turn the other cheeks".

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  • 4 weeks later...

>>Florida Man Hides Legless Girlfriend In Plastic Bin

(Winter Haven, FL) -- A Florida man is under arrest for trying to help his legless girlfriend hide from police by stashing her in a plastic storage container. Authorities say John Robert Carr was arrested Tuesday for trying to hide 39-year-old Krystal Lee Anderson, who lost her legs in a gun battle with police in 2015. Anderson was supposed to stand trial for the shootout, and was facing charges of armed kidnapping and assault with a deadly weapon, but skipped out on her court date. Polk County Sheriff's deputies went looking for Anderson at Carr's home. He said Anderson wasn't there, but just moments earlier an officer reportedly saw Carr through the bedroom window stuffing Anderson into a plastic crate. Both Carr and Anderson were taken into custody.

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That seems so unfair. I mean can't a guy carry his oil where he wants?

 

In other news a baboon escaped it cage as the San Antonio airport today on it's way to a wildlife refuge in Cotulla.

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  • 2 months later...

and now THIS fresh hell:

 

Update: male is now driving through a yard, child is in a car seat, male is possibly high on meth, west of NE 33rd

 

Update: now eastbound on Marine Drive/40th at 88 mph, almost hit two motorcycles, almost caused 5 wrecks,

 

Update: police have stopped pursuing because of danger to child, Port of Portland Police trying to get in front of the car to spike the tires

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... if he thought the gator was dead, why did he duct tape its mouth shut?

 

Also, I'm planning a trip to Louisiana in the spring, should I do this y/n?

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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