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Most annoying business-speak?


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I'm speaking tomorrow at work on a super boring topic that everybody knows, so I intend to make it as awful as possible by using as much business-speak as I can.

 

I have:

-Circle back

-High altitude view

-Granular

-Sausage-making

 

but I know there are hundreds I'm not even considering. Help!

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I'm speaking tomorrow at work on a super boring topic that everybody knows, so I intend to make it as awful as possible by using as much business-speak as I can.

 

That doesn't seem like a good idea. Shouldn't you try to make it as interesting as possible, not as awful as possible?

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"Synergy" / "synergies" (Mentioned in Walgreens' CEO's statement buying Rite-Aid.)

"Cascade" and "pulse," regarding passing along information. "Cascade this to your team." "This information will be pulsed to staff over several weeks.:

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Don't forget to give 110% while you leverage your best practices and create value-added scalable systems when you take it to the next level. And make sure they understand that while you may be out of pocket, you plan to hit the ground running upon your return.

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Guest Domina Crystalli

If it were me, I'd start by saying "showtime, Synergy," which is the only way the word "synergy" should ever be used.

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Our managers are fairly honest and have integrity. Now, the decisions made don't always line up with reality, but they don't try to hide anything and they stay consistent.

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You probably work with grownups who don't steal and have specialized skills?

 

My experience with the term "core values" are those utterly meaningless mantras repeated in service industry jobs by regional managers who pop by twice a year for mandatory pep talks/threat sessions. Oh? Those words on the poster? Yeah, we don't ever look at those unless you're here. And the manager you just had lead us in the pledge of those magic words? He's sleeping with two underlings, fakes liquor inventory reports, and has been known to pocket a cash transaction here or there when rent looms near :-D

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Oh, no matter what they're stupid words. I don't think it's possible for a large company to have "values," because that entirely depends on the team and manager. And, yes, I do work with adults who have specialized skills.

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"touch base" is the most annoying to me because it is so overused. Whenever I hear it, I assume the speaker is unimaginative and couldn't come up with anything else to say.

 

"pound the pavement" temporarily distracts me because it makes me think of pounding another word that begins with P.

 

Someone once said to me "worker smarter not harder" when I was helping her move her heavy paper supplies which were in my workspace, which was HER responsibility and not mine at all. she also barely knew me, and was not smarter than me... so I feel she had no right to say it. Now when I hear that one I think of her and get annoyed.

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