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Hero Diner Owner Shouts at Noisy Toddler, Selfish Parents and Weaklings Cry Foul


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So this sort of happened to us today at lunch. We went to a bakery that had an area to sit down. We ordered and sat down to wait for our food. They had dominos, so I got those for the kids to play with. Quinn starts building something and Ethan starts trying to knock them over, and us shrieking with excitement every time he does it. After maybe 2 minutes, 2 older ladies start in on us. "Are you going to stay long? Can you do something about that?" My husband tried to be polite at first, but it was quickly obvious that they weren't going to be placated with anything less than Ethan's head on a platter. They were already done eating, and it was nice outside. We tried quietly shushing Ethan so as to not call anymore attention to it, because sometimes he does it because he's bored and it becomes a game. Food still hasn't shown up. Harpies get up to leave and throw rude comments at us about how we need to "discipline him". Brad got mad and asked them what they expected us to do. They said to discipline again, to which Brad responded, "He's ONE! Are you a parent?" Lead harpy said she was, so Brad let her know than Ethan has special needs. Of course, she claimed her son was, too. Then she instructed us not to bring him to restaurants, which Brad responded that would be age discrimination, and she claimed we were discriminating against her, and then she gor nasty and started calling Ethan a brat. Of course, about 10 seconds into this, Ethan is happily playing quietly, probably because no one was shushing him anymore. Ladies were lunatics. Pretty much ruined our lunch because they stood outside, continuing to complain, and Brad was stink-eyeing them throughout.

 

The fact is, if they hadn't been so rude at the start, we might have asked the bakery to get our food to go. But this wasn't a fancy place, they're listed as good for kids, and they had high chairs, which is usually a good sign that kids are regular patrons. I've taken this kid to 4 doctor appointments this past week alone, I don't think it's so much to ask that I have a damn sandwich for lunch. He can't be outside without sunglasses because he's aphakic, especially since we're now putting drops in his good eye to force him to use his bad eye, and I wanted to give him a break from them because he'd been outside for 2 hours and was really well behaved all morning. I'm not going to yell at or spank my 15-month old, that's not going to improve the noise. Give it 2 minutes and he'll stop once you atop drawing attention to it.

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Am I allowed to hate all parties involved? Both crappy parents who don't respect other people's space/life/feeding time as well as business owners who can't find a way to settle things without going b

I believe the standard now is that non-breeders aren't allowed to comment or otherwise have opinions about the behavior of parasites that have escaped the womb. That bars me from making a statement on

What parenting technique justifies allowing a kid to scream for 20-40 minutes in public?

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You know... As a teacher I have to take human growth and development. The shrieking stage is a part of their normal growth and development and they're exploring that sound and it's affects. There is always one in the grocery store or in the car driving home just doing their babbling or singing but every once in a while you get a kid who's ear piercing shrieks can break glass. I dunno what Destiny's freaky stupid people where hoping to accomplish. A kid is not a pet and you cannot discipline for exploring like that. That's akin to spanking a dog because he licks his balls or spends 15 minutes sniffing the same spot instead of coming when called. I think where Destiny was eating was definitely a place for kids and that lady needs a big helping of "STFU". The 40 minute break down of the waitress/owner in the actual thread we're talking about earlier was just a wearing down affect and that lady snapped. I defend neither parent, child or snapper. I'm just saying that we're all human and you probably did this with your parents when you were small and some parents deal with this in different ways. My Mom just hired a nanny and she did the shopping and we were lectured on behavior before any big event or going out to eat. We were also told that if we didn't behave we'd be taken out to the car and never get to go out again. So ultimately we were not taken in public as babies except for our christenings and never experienced or gave people these experiences like people do now where kids are everywhere - the movies, eating out, going shopping.

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I don't know what good scolding a toddler for having a temper tantrum is supposed to do. That just makes them scream more, in my experience. You might as well get angry at your car for breaking down on you. There are some places conscientious parents shouldn't be taking kids who are of the age to tantrum, and no small number of parents these days have entitlement attitudes surrounding their precious offspring. That said, getting mad about it in public isn't going to help. The toddler can't help it. The adults can.

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Took the wife out for a late lunch/early dinner today. The place we went was 85% empty because it was 3pm on Sunday. Anyway the hostess initially sits us next to a table with two screaming kids. I quickly saw a two seater booth in the back and said can we sit back there? The hostess had no problem and we sat away from the screaming.

 

My issue is why would the hostess sit a couple next to that noise, when there was plenty of seats around? I mean the servers were not swamped with tables?

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My issue is why would the hostess sit a couple next to that noise, when there was plenty of seats around? I mean the servers were not swamped with tables?

Restaurants usually run in sections, and because it was slow, most of the sections were probably closed. Helps keep things cleaner and more orderly. Normally a good practice and not an issue, but if there's a screaming brat, adapting and seating out of section should be common sense. Probably just your hostess going by the book rather than using her common sense.

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Studies have shown that a baby crying is about the most irritating sound to a man and raises stress levels in both men and women. Biological response so that babies aren't neglected, but unfortunately, it sometimes causes abuse because parents or guardians can't cope. Hence, shaken baby syndrome.

 

For me, it has to do with distance and whether or not it's my kid. I can handle just about any screaming so long as it's not my kid or sitting right in my lap. But for me, babies are way harder to deal with than toddlers or preschoolers tantruming. Something about babies crying sets off some sort of desperation reflex in me.

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Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were so eager to produce your own womb-escaping parasite. I'm guessing the rest of your posts have been - what? - jealousy masquerading as annoyed contempt?

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Guest El Chalupacabra

I love how Cerina's whole argument is basically how nasty people without kids are to noisy children, yet she has been pretty judgmental of people who CHOOSE not to have kids.

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Actually, my point has been that most people, parents included, are nasty to all children, noisy or not. Our society is always trying to inch toward a state of greater tolerance. Especially for differences that are uncontrollable, e.g. skin color, sexual orientation, mental and physical disabilities, etc. Yet, it's applauded to become increasingly intolerant of small children for expressing themselves. Because why? Simple annoyance?

 

I don't care if you have kids or not. It's totally possible to choose not to have children and NOT be an intolerant prick about it. I guess you could say I just have a problem with intolerant pricks.

 

Furthermore, why is it ok to refer to all children as "brats"? That's akin to calling all women "bitches" or all black people "thugs". What's even more ridiculous is people using terms meant to dehumanize children, i.e. spawn and parasite. Why is that ok?!? Again, substitute that with literally ANY other demographic of people!

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So this sort of happened to us today at lunch. We went to a bakery that had an area to sit down. We ordered and sat down to wait for our food. They had dominos, so I got those for the kids to play with. Quinn starts building something and Ethan starts trying to knock them over, and us shrieking with excitement every time he does it. After maybe 2 minutes, 2 older ladies start in on us. "Are you going to stay long? Can you do something about that?" My husband tried to be polite at first, but it was quickly obvious that they weren't going to be placated with anything less than Ethan's head on a platter. They were already done eating, and it was nice outside. We tried quietly shushing Ethan so as to not call anymore attention to it, because sometimes he does it because he's bored and it becomes a game. Food still hasn't shown up. Harpies get up to leave and throw rude comments at us about how we need to "discipline him". Brad got mad and asked them what they expected us to do. They said to discipline again, to which Brad responded, "He's ONE! Are you a parent?" Lead harpy said she was, so Brad let her know than Ethan has special needs. Of course, she claimed her son was, too. Then she instructed us not to bring him to restaurants, which Brad responded that would be age discrimination, and she claimed we were discriminating against her, and then she gor nasty and started calling Ethan a brat. Of course, about 10 seconds into this, Ethan is happily playing quietly, probably because no one was shushing him anymore. Ladies were lunatics. Pretty much ruined our lunch because they stood outside, continuing to complain, and Brad was stink-eyeing them throughout.

 

The fact is, if they hadn't been so rude at the start, we might have asked the bakery to get our food to go. But this wasn't a fancy place, they're listed as good for kids, and they had high chairs, which is usually a good sign that kids are regular patrons. I've taken this kid to 4 doctor appointments this past week alone, I don't think it's so much to ask that I have a damn sandwich for lunch. He can't be outside without sunglasses because he's aphakic, especially since we're now putting drops in his good eye to force him to use his bad eye, and I wanted to give him a break from them because he'd been outside for 2 hours and was really well behaved all morning. I'm not going to yell at or spank my 15-month old, that's not going to improve the noise. Give it 2 minutes and he'll stop once you atop drawing attention to it.

Ugh, I'm sorry. What jerks. I've eaten with your kids and they aren't even super loud.

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Yet, it's applauded to become increasingly intolerant of small children for expressing themselves. Because why? Simple annoyance?

 

I don't care if you have kids or not. It's totally possible to choose not to have children and NOT be an intolerant prick about it. I guess you could say I just have a problem with intolerant pricks.

Yes, it is annoyance -- far more with the parents than the child, by the way -- and it is not "intolerant" to simply want to enjoy the goods or services you paid for without some shrieking creature puncturing your ear drums. This is common sense stuff here, folks.

 

Furthermore, why is it ok to refer to all children as "brats"? That's akin to calling all women "bitches" or all black people "thugs". What's even more ridiculous is people using terms meant to dehumanize children, i.e. spawn and parasite. Why is that ok?!? Again, substitute that with literally ANY other demographic of people!

Adults aren't inherently annoying, helpless, and covered in several layers of snot, regardless of the demographic they belong to. Big difference. If your meals or films were regularly interrupted by the incessant, mindless wailing and spewing of women or black people you might have an argument, but somehow, I do not think this is the case. Your comparison is offensive and disturbing. Stop distracting. Children aren't people until they can sit still, shut up, and have at least a rudimentary understanding of sarcasm.

 

Of course, as inherently noisy and disgusting as children are, the real problem is parents who think they are entitled to "have a life" after reproducing but before their kids can handle being out in public without assaulting the senses of normal people. To solve this, I say we keep a ledger for parents, and after three strikes for noise/tantrums, they cannot take their spawn out in public for 1 year unless it is encased in one of these:

 

CLmpQ4LUwAQlBtW.png

 

Problem solved.

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