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Hero Diner Owner Shouts at Noisy Toddler, Selfish Parents and Weaklings Cry Foul


177 replies to this topic

#1
Pong Messiah

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Story

 

Synopsis:

 

Terrorist child screeches in small diner for something like 40 minutes. Parents are unwilling or unable to control child. Owner walks up to parents, presents them with a to go box and says they need to quiet the kid or leave. Bad parents ignore ultimatum, and after a few minutes, the hero diner owner snaps and shouts at the kid herself. Like magic, the child shuts up after receiving the first good parenting of its life. Unfortunately, the story doesn't end here: the parents obviously did not learn their lesson, and worse, the sad, weak people of the world have united to call what this heroic woman did "inappropriate."

 

:no:

 

What a ****ed up world we live in.



#2
pavonis

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I believe the standard now is that non-breeders aren't allowed to comment or otherwise have opinions about the behavior of parasites that have escaped the womb. That bars me from making a statement one way or another.
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#3
Cerina

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:rolleyes:

#4
Pong Messiah

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Hero Diner Owner called the screaming child a demon and told the dad he has no balls. This woman is amazing.

 

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#5
Driver

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Am I allowed to hate all parties involved? Both crappy parents who don't respect other people's space/life/feeding time as well as business owners who can't find a way to settle things without going ballistic?


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#6
Brett

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Yeah, I dunno, if a business owner wants to yell at some idiots, whatever. Why is this a topic of conversation?


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#7
Pong Messiah

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Beware: BABY BULLIES WITH DRIED MUFFINS!!!

 

BabyBully.JPG



#8
Burt

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Can't help but agree that they all suck.


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#9
Cerina

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Am I allowed to hate all parties involved? Both crappy parents who don't respect other people's space/life/feeding time as well as business owners who can't find a way to settle things without going ballistic?

Amen! 

 

Our society has a huge problem when it comes to treating children with respect. (We actually have a problem treating anybody with respect, but yeah.) They're noisy, unsophisticated, uninformed, and selfish, but still people nonetheless. Sometimes I don't know what's worse, childless people who assume they're automatically better than anybody over 18, or parents who automatically assume their children's needs are less important than their own laziness. 

 

But in this instance, based on the spelling and grammar in the Facebook post and reply, I'm going to call the diner owner the bigger idiot. Why is making "3 full sized pancakes" an issue at a diner? Wtf is that about? 


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#10
Pong Messiah

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Why is this a topic of conversation?

I think it strikes a nerve with a lot of people, because everybody has experienced those parents who take their screaming, squirming kids to restaurants and just let them scream or run wild, oblivious to the fact that it's creating a dangerous situation for servers (balancing trays, hot drinks with kids running around), and just generally making everybody miserable with the incessant noise and intrusions into other people's personal space.

 

But even though many people have a few stories about this (or likely several, if they are a server), hardly anybody ever does anything about it, because the parents are either ignorant/indifferent to the suffering their demonspawn is causing, or they will get all "Well, I never!" and throw a **** fit -- complain to your boss, leave in a huff without a tip, etc., so you endure in silence and pray for them to leave as quickly as possible (never suggest dessert to anybody who brings in small children. Not worth the extra sales).

 

The owner, even if she handled it poorly and even if she has a dried out muffin, basically said what is on the minds of most customers (and nearly all servers) when you deal with a kid who screams over a long period of time in close quarters. ENOUGH, JUST STFU!

 

I've had many tables with children. Most are OK -- they are a little more work, and definitely messier, but nothing nightmarish. You shouldn't have to give up your entire life just because you are a parent, so hey, good job. People who bring their kids in who are unreasonably clueless/too-cool-to-parent should be sent to Siberia, though. Or at least shouted at and told to get their kids under control.



#11
Pong Messiah

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Why is making "3 full sized pancakes" an issue at a diner? Wtf is that about? 

Given that it's not a huge diner, I'd guess that it's because they take up a lot of individual space. I don't even want to imagine what the wait would be like if I ran a small restaurant with a busy breakfast/brunch and half the customers suddenly ordered pancakes. This is probably why some places don't serve pancakes on weekends.

 

:eek:



#12
Destiny Skywalker

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That owner is a lunatic. Holy hell.

#13
Cerina

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I can't tell if you're joking.

#14
Destiny Skywalker

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Me or Pong?

#15
CoLA

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I'm with the owner, at least in part. Shut your kid up if you're in a public place or just get out. No one wants to hear your kids crap, especially not 40 minutes of it!
The owner is a bit crayzah, though...O_O
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#16
Pong Messiah

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That owner is a lunatic. Holy hell.

 

I'm with the owner, at least in part. Shut your kid up if you're in a public place or just get out. No one wants to hear your kids crap, especially not 40 minutes of it!
The owner is a bit crayzah, though...O_O

True, but so was Winston Churchill. Sometimes the situation calls for a crahzah lunatic.

 

And yes, I am equating the parents of noisy, out-of-control children with Hitler.



#17
pavonis

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What parenting technique justifies allowing a kid to scream for 20-40 minutes in public?
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#18
Pong Messiah

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What parenting technique justifies allowing a kid to scream for 20-40 minutes in public?

idk maybe situational?

 

My neighbor has two young boys, and from my deck, you can hear one of them screaming and stomping and kicking at the walls from approximately 8-9pm every night because it's too early for bed ("It's still light out, mom!!").

 

From this, I infer they have a "cry it out" philosophy. No idea if it's working, 'cause I've lived here for less than a month (maybe he's getting worse? Maybe he used to cry until 11pm?), but if they are sticking to their guns despite his tantrums, good for them. I can hear the screaming "in public," but it doesn't bother me, because it's really not in my personal space, and I can still have guests over and chat without it being too distracting (depending on their timing, the screams can even punctuate a conversation in unexpected yet hilarious ways).

 

I'd say that's justified, even though I can technically hear everything that's going on in their house on my property.

 

I've also seen parents just stand there, apparently waiting out their tantrum-throwing kids at grocery stores. Never stuck around to see if they go a full 20-40 minutes, but as long as the kids aren't pulling stuff off the shelf or getting in anybody's way, I don't see a prob with it (though I couldn't tell you if it's effective or not).

 

Public transportation is a gray area. If you are a parent with a schedule to keep and you need to ride the bus or train, it's not like you can just get off, then get on the next one when your kid has calmed down. On the other hand, if you slap your kid into sweet, sweet silence, some jackass with opinions might give a lecture on feelings and make your ride even more unpleasant than it already is. No "good" options here; if you can't find a way to shut your kid up, your least bad option is probably just to let them scream.

 

Places you can't justify long periods of screaming in public are where people are either trying to relax and have a good time (restaurants), trying hard to focus on something other than a screaming child (theater, concert, poetry reading [though it would probably improve the poetry reading experience for me]), or places where distractions can actually be dangerous (not sure why you'd have a screaming toddler in an F-16, but that would definitely be inappropriate).



#19
Burt

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That owner is a lunatic. Holy hell.

 

I'm with the owner, at least in part. Shut your kid up if you're in a public place or just get out. No one wants to hear your kids crap, especially not 40 minutes of it!
The owner is a bit crayzah, though...O_O

True, but so was Winston Churchill. Sometimes the situation calls for a crahzah lunatic.

 

And yes, I am equating the parents of noisy, out-of-control children with Hitler.

 

16 posts to fulfill Godwin's Law!

 

As a parent, I accepted well before that we just weren't going to do certain things for 2-3 years. Flying, movie theater, etc. will just have to wait. It's not fair to the kid to put them in a situation doomed to fail. A small price to pay for parental bliss and gene propagation.



#20
RelentlessMalice

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At this point in my life if I go out to dinner I try to go at non peak busy times to avoid crowded restuarants which is when loud parties and not just kids being the problem. Adults and stupid teens can be even more annoying in a bunch. My problem with loud places is I have bad hearing and I cannot hear or conduct a good conversation without asking people to repeat themselves. My wife gets really annoyed. If I am in a loudc place and someone is talking to me I just nod and smile most of the time because I cant hear ****.

40 minutes is beyond rude and disrespectful to everyone in the place. Any kind of parent would have a plan A,B,C,D to control and keep their child under control in public places.

I know a guy who will even tell the hostess to please sit him/party away from noise and especially little kids and he tips them money and reminds them not to seat potential other loud parties around him after he has been seated.

#21
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Am I allowed to hate all parties involved? Both crappy parents who don't respect other people's space/life/feeding time as well as business owners who can't find a way to settle things without going ballistic?

Amen! 

 

Our society has a huge problem when it comes to treating children with respect. (We actually have a problem treating anybody with respect, but yeah.) They're noisy, unsophisticated, uninformed, and selfish, but still people nonetheless. Sometimes I don't know what's worse, childless people who assume they're automatically better than anybody over 18, or parents who automatically assume their children's needs are less important than their own laziness. 

 

But in this instance, based on the spelling and grammar in the Facebook post and reply, I'm going to call the diner owner the bigger idiot. Why is making "3 full sized pancakes" an issue at a diner? Wtf is that about? 

 

What? While I agree both the diner owner could have handled the situation better and the parents should have just taken their food to go when the kid started acting out, where is this "society doesn't treat kids with respect" idea coming from?

 

Kids are treated with more respect than ever, and in some cases too much respect.  In schools and in society in general, everyone is concerned with hurting little Jonny's feelings, or burstingthe bubble of parents that maybe, possibly little Jonny ISN'T the perfect little child.  Children are constantly coddled these days in school or otherwise, and parents seem more sensitive to any type of constructive criticism or requests for them to get a handle on their unruly kids more than ever.

 

If there is a problem these days, it is that parents these days fail to discipline their children when in public, or at least calm them down and tell their kids to be aware of other people and to not act out.  This situation where parents just let the kid cry, piss and moan is all too common, and I see it all the time.  I often see kids crying and throwing tantrums in public, or running around unattended in stores or restaurants, acting like brats and making messes, while the parents look on and do nothing.  I hate going to the movies anymore because rather than remove a crying or noisy child, a lot of parents are content to just sit there in the theater, and let their kid make all the noise or misbehave all they want, thereby ruining the movie experience for all around them, rather than doing the decent thing and removing their kid from the theater until they behave.There is no concept of manners anymore, and if children do act out in public and someone else tells them to mind their manners or ask the parent to control their child, 9 times out of 10, the parent(s) of the little hellion, rather than apologize, will often jump the sh*t of person asking the kid or parent to quiet down. 

 

We live in an age where no one can speak up anymore and ask a parent to control a disruptive or misbehaving child anymore.  In fact, parents these days are hypersensitive to anyone who tells them their kid is acting out, and will often rather than apologize, lash out and take the attitude that since they are used to little Jonny acting like a monster, everyone else should just deal with it too. 

 

Maybe you and Driver personally teach your kids to be respectful of others in public and to behave, and if so Kudos, and this isn't directed at anyone here necessarily.  But there are a lot of bad parents out there who don't, and I think it is very disrespectful to others when parents fail to discipline their kids and teach them to not act like a pack of wild animals in public.  I also have found that usually the apple does NOT fall far from the tree, and if a kid is an absolute brat, far more often than not, when you meet the parents of said brat, you will find they are usually a-holes.

 

 

 

What parenting technique justifies allowing a kid to scream for 20-40 minutes in public?

idk maybe situational?

 

My neighbor has two young boys, and from my deck, you can hear one of them screaming and stomping and kicking at the walls from approximately 8-9pm every night because it's too early for bed ("It's still light out, mom!!").

 

From this, I infer they have a "cry it out" philosophy. No idea if it's working, 'cause I've lived here for less than a month (maybe he's getting worse? Maybe he used to cry until 11pm?), but if they are sticking to their guns despite his tantrums, good for them. I can hear the screaming "in public," but it doesn't bother me, because it's really not in my personal space, and I can still have guests over and chat without it being too distracting (depending on their timing, the screams can even punctuate a conversation in unexpected yet hilarious ways).

 

I'd say that's justified, even though I can technically hear everything that's going on in their house on my property.

 

I've also seen parents just stand there, apparently waiting out their tantrum-throwing kids at grocery stores. Never stuck around to see if they go a full 20-40 minutes, but as long as the kids aren't pulling stuff off the shelf or getting in anybody's way, I don't see a prob with it (though I couldn't tell you if it's effective or not).

 

Public transportation is a gray area. If you are a parent with a schedule to keep and you need to ride the bus or train, it's not like you can just get off, then get on the next one when your kid has calmed down. On the other hand, if you slap your kid into sweet, sweet silence, some jackass with opinions might give a lecture on feelings and make your ride even more unpleasant than it already is. No "good" options here; if you can't find a way to shut your kid up, your least bad option is probably just to let them scream.

 

Places you can't justify long periods of screaming in public are where people are either trying to relax and have a good time (restaurants), trying hard to focus on something other than a screaming child (theater, concert, poetry reading [though it would probably improve the poetry reading experience for me]), or places where distractions can actually be dangerous (not sure why you'd have a screaming toddler in an F-16, but that would definitely be inappropriate).

 

Unless the child has some developmental issue  where they literally can't help themselves, I can't disagree with you more. 

I'm not a kid hater, but parents who choose to not teach their kids to behave in public and be mindful of other peoples' personal space is a serious pet peeve of mine.  This "let them cry it out" philosophy is bull crap, and it really DOES bother me.  Why should I have to stand in line and listen to some screaming brat for 20-40 minutes at the store?  Why should I have my movie experience or quiet time with my s/o at a restaurant or anywhere else for that matter, rudely interrupted? Why should I have to put up with parents who cannot or choose not to quiet down their kids?  I think for parents who have kids who are just noise boxes, they need to be mindful of the disruption their kids create and if their kids can't behave, then they need to just stay home and NOT take their kids out until they are at an age where they can behave, rather than be selfish and spoil the experience for everyone else around them.


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#22
monkeygirl

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I'd rather she had just bitch slapped the parents or called CPS. FORTY MINUTES is a ridiculous amount of time to allow a child to scream, let alone in public, in a restaurant.


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#23
RelentlessMalice

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El you are right about many parents not discipling their kids and being friends more than parents. I see it all the time in my profession.

Here is what is interesting to me. When we have open house or a conference where I meet parents. My most behaved students and best academic students always have the parents who will tell me flat out. "If my child ever gets out of line you have my permission to whack em."

I always laugh it away because their kid is the last one who would need a good whack. Gee I wonder why??? Meanwhile I have other students who would greatly benifit from a good whack.

#24
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If you replace the word "kids" with literally any other demographic of people in most of the replies in this thread, you'll see what I mean about respect.

Nobody here would reasonably advocate the physical assault of or total control over any entire group of people. Same with children. Kids, like every other human being, crave autonomy, respect, and compassion, but most of society believes that they should neither receive or deserve any of that.

Yeah. Seth and I have great kids. My son, and I assume Seth's as well, is very respectful in public and private. And, while Noah is in no way "controlled" by us, he is easily corrected. This is because we treat him with the same respect we would anyone else. Part of that respect is that we've always been aware of and attended to his needs.

Children throw tantrums because they need something and can't express themselves. They have no control over their lives or actions, and many parents do nothing to help them. Instead parents punish, discipline, scold, or ignore. It never occurs to most people to help their child fill the need, identify what they're feeling, and learn a better way to express themselves. And that's most definitely more work than yelling. Trevor and I have made a conscious and dedicated effort to do this. So has Seth. That's why our kids are "good".

If parents respected their children as people instead of viewing them as little things needing to be controlled like a puppet or trained like a show dog, I think we'd see a lot less of these incidents. But our society views children as less than, so instead it's become praise worthy to allow unstable people to berate them publicly.
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#25
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Here's what we did:

 

1. At home, tantrums resulted in him being put in his room until he decided to throw said tantrum, and he was ignored outside of being told he couldn't leave his room.

 

2. In public, such behavior resulted in immediate removal to our car with one of us. 

 

That easy.

 

ALL KIDS throw tantrums. It's not because kid are ****ty, it's because developmentally, that's what they do because they don't have the tools to communicate or deal with emotions yet and it's frustrating. Some kids are most definitely worse than others.

 

That said, other people shouldn't have to put up with it so you remove them.

 

The former Mrs. Driver/Tank and I had a lot of solo meals while the other waited in a car. But it worked. Most times, he was excited to be at a restaurant so the threat of removal often made him chill out.

 

Such events happened every now and then for a few years, then they stopped.

 

No whacking was ever required and he's very well behaved and adjusted now. No restaurant managers ever yelled at us. Any dirty looks thrown our way were brief when they realized we were going to rectify the problem.


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