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Gentrification Comes to Capitol Hill


Pong Messiah
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Cultures clash as gentrification engulfs Capitol Hill!

 

The fear of frat boys taking over Capitol Hill was going on when I lived there 15 years ago. That is nothing new. But with new construction and apartment prices going crazy, that fear is no longer some abstract bogeyman. Literally as I type this, hordes of pathetically unhip (straight, non-artistic) people are renting apartments on Capitol Hill, and completely ruining this once idyllic neighborhood of artists, trust-fund socialists, and gay bars. What will become of Capitol Hill? Where will the real people go?

 

Some residents are fighting back! One man's painting of dudebros and woo girls with "We came here to get away from you" scrawled underneath sums up the attitude of many of Capitol Hill's more authentic residents, and it really caused a stir. But it is too late? Are the dudebros here to stay?

 

Or should the people of Capitol Hill lighten up, accept change, and behave in a more, shall we say, accepting and inclusive manner toward their new neighbors? I can't imagine "We came here to get away from you" flying in a primarily white, suburban neighorhood after a few black families move in!

 

Of course, people don't choose their race, but they do choose to be douches, so it's a tough one, even if it's the height of hypocrisy.

 

Golly, this is a tough one.

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Ahhh gentrification. 2014 and 2015's word of the year for Londoners. Every local being priced out of their own homes and boroughs. Well, it's nice to not have dudes smoking crack outside the house but I can live without the cocktails being served in jam jars and the craft beer and burgers served on chopping boards. I mean, the food that comes with gentrification is nice and all.. But the twatlords that make up the new population replacing the old are always gonna be dicks no matter the situation.

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Gentrification is happening everywhere in downtown Seattle, mostly because of the Amazon boom. High-rise apartments are going in everywhere, and high rents, too.

 

The thing that kills me is that some Amazon nerds are not the dudebros and fratties causing problems at the bars. Tech workers in this town are usually pretty chill and not hateful. That's paycheck jealousy talking. I get it, you're mad that your barista tips aren't covering your skyrocketing rent anymore. Sorry you can't live next to your favorite gay bar.

 

I did just recently make fun of a friend's brother who just moved to Capitol Hill, calling it a hipster migration path. Next thing you know, he's going to have 2 kids and a wife in a tiny 1920s house in Green Lake that he paid $650K for.

 

Quite frankly, I find Capitol Hill to be the most pretentious neighborhood in Seattle, so I don't spend a lot of time there. I spent my first summer in town hanging out with a friend (yes, he was gay) who lived there and going to lousy gay bars. As wasted as everyone gets, it's no surprise that violence happens. It's like Bourbon Street, but less crowded.

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The thing that kills me is that some Amazon nerds are not the dudebros and fratties causing problems at the bars. Tech workers in this town are usually pretty chill and not hateful. That's paycheck jealousy talking. I get it, you're mad that your barista tips aren't covering your skyrocketing rent anymore. Sorry you can't live next to your favorite gay bar.

Know what? A LOT of smug, hipster angst really comes down to this. The crappier the wages and working conditions in academia especially become for the non tenured "adjuncts", the shriller their screeds on my facebook newsfeed against white male "dudebros" become. Especially the screeds that attack the "dudebros" for blaming women and minorities for their own worsening economic circumstances.

 

Far right anti feminist white male that I am, I do suggest to them that I do have contacts in the union I belong to that might help.

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