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Oh Come All Ye Faithful


Lace Mindu
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...The rest of you, GET OUT.

 

Got any Xmas song lyrics that bug you now that you've heard them since the day after Halloween?

 

I was listening to "Baby it's Cold Outside" the other day and caught this right after she sings "Maybe just a half a drink more":

The neighbors might think - (Baby, it's bad out there)
Say, what's in this drink? - (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how - (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell - (I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

 

ROOFIES, much? Can't believe they play this stalker date rape tune on am radio. ;)

 

 

Also, in Silent Night:

"Round yon virgin, mother and child, Holy infant, tender and mild"

 

a) Round yon virgin -- She JUST HAD A BABY enough with the fat jokes, sheesh.

b) Tender and Mild - what, you're planning to carve up and eat the Christ child? Oh yeah, that's festive all right.

 

Your pet peeves?

 

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"Baby, it's cold outside." This song can certainly be heard with dark meanings, and no one with sense would deny that predatory behavior happens in these types of scenarios, but I believe you're missing the intention of the song by imposing that motivation on it. This song is satirical foreplay between knowing adults. When people constantly insist the song is date rape they depower and victimize the pursued while disregarding the mutual playfulness the song was written with.

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"Baby, it's cold outside." This song can certainly be heard with dark meanings, and no one with sense would deny that predatory behavior happens in these types of scenarios, but I believe you're missing the intention of the song by imposing that motivation on it. This song is satirical foreplay between knowing adults. When people constantly insist the song is date rape they depower and victimize the pursued while disregarding the mutual playfulness the song was written with.

Qft

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That "Christmas Shoes" song drives me absolutely insane. I don't usually do hate, but I make an exception for this song--with searing venomous hatred.

 

And there's that Faith Hill one. You know--"Where are you, Christmas? Why can't I find you?" Shut up, your song sucks.

 

I'm generally down with most of the old standards, though... especially if it's an old Nat King Cole recording.

 

Best of all time? Run DMC's "Christmas in Hollis", obviously.

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Now bring us some figgy pudding

Now bring us some figgy pudding

Now bring us some figgy pudding

And bring it right here

 

Boy Christmas carolers were pushy back in the day. You trespass on my front lawn, you make a bunch of noise, and annoy me. How dare you demand anything of me, let alone figgy pudding. Not even jello pudding or something simple. I dont know anyone who has either made or eaten figgy pudding. Then you want me to hand deliver it to you-bring it right there? You didn't even ask nicely.

 

Okay, you convinced me. I'll give you some figgy pudding, hold on let me get it for you.

*loads shotgun*

it's almost ready; stay right there. Don't move.

*locks it. Cocks it. Aims.*

Okay, it's ready. let me give it to you.

*opens fire*

anybody else want some figgy pudding? I've got enough for all of you! How bout you? You want some?! Sure you do!

*opens fire again*

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b) Tender and Mild - what, you're planning to carve up and eat the Christ child? Oh yeah, that's festive all right.

 

Well, Jesus did later say "Eat of my body and drink of my blood." I'd say that doing it while he's young just means he'll be juicier.

 

I always laugh at the song "Away in a Manger" because it contains the lyrics "I love thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky." I now picture a chubby little baby floating around in the clouds. But I can tolerate the goofy religious songs better than I can the stupid modern ones that are all, "Gosh, isn't Christmas wonderful because of Santa/snow/tree/jingly bells/carolers/all of the above?" Anything sung by Bing Crosby grates on my nerves, probably because I always manage to work in places that play that crap all day, every day, for two months. But I think my all-time most-hated Christmas song is "Jingle Bell Rock." DAMN, that song is stupid!

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