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Christmas Giving Cultural Conundrum


The Human Torch
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We're almost in euphemism terrority, keep going. I want to be able to justifiably say I'm full of the Christmas Spirit during orgasm.

No need to justify it. Just let it out.

 

It's a self-giving gift. So if someone else gives you a gift, they have already given themselves the gift of happiness in return. You still don't need to give them a gift back or feel guilty about it.

Depends on the person. Some people do expect something in return and will be hurt/offended if you don't give them something in return. They might even "measure up" your gift (how's that for euphemisms, THT?), and be pissy if you give them something they feel is less nice/thoughtful in return. Ofc there is no reason for miserable people like that in your life.

 

I think of giving gifts the same way I do loaning money: unless there is a contract involved, don't expect anything in return. If you do get something back, be gracious about it. The end.

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I almost always spend more money on gifts and buy for more people than I ever plan to get in return. It's just who I am and what I do.

Some people are just like that. I would not worry about it.

 

You need specifics? Really?

 

Ok, this year I bought my neighbors a membership to the zoo. They're great neighbors, and I'm so grateful for everything they do for us. I do not expect anything from them in return. But I do know that their kids bought my kid a gift.

 

Every year, (not this one for financial reasons) I give gifts to all the people who work at my church, my coworkers, all of our close neighbors, and any adult my son was taught/coached by a gift.

 

One year a friend of the family used my giving him a gift for Christmas as an example of selfless giving in a bible study he gave later that week. I got him a nice pen set.

 

Back when I was working, I would bring the girls I worked with souvenirs from wherever we went.

 

I've given random, no particular reason gifts to all of the following: my boss, several coworkers, several people I supervised, my friend's kids, my neighbor's kids, my neighbors, the ladies in the leasing office at the apartments where I lived, the girl who worked the night shift at the grocery store by my house, close friends, the spouses of close friends, family, no-so-close friends, the firemen at the fire-station by my apartment, my bartenders, coworkers of my friends and family, my son's friends, my husband's friends, my ex-boyfriend's kids, and some of my favorite customers at work at their kids. I can go into detail about each one if you need me to.

 

This isn't an exhaustive list by any means. And I'm happy to say that my son has inherited my love of giving. He also regularly purchases or makes gifts for his friends and family members. He's even wanted to buy things for people I didn't expect, like the youth leader's wife at church.

Ok I'll go with this.

 

Regarding the great neighbors, you want them to continue being great neighbors, hence your gift. They might be even more great if they really like the zoo. If you didn't give a gift they may stop caring about you.

 

Same shit with your church and coworker friends. You dont want them to stop being cool.

 

Same concept for your other examples.

 

Really there's nothing sinister about it, it's just that gift giving is a way to keep people's behavior in check. I find it strange that you can't see that.

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If someone gives me a gift and I don't have anything to give back (which actually happened this Christmas, due to my shitty circumstances and not having money), I don't worry about it much. If it's someone I really like, I'll repay them with a gift when I can, or do some free dogsitting later on or something. If it's someone I barely know, my need to reciprocate will depend on the nature of the gift. I've had a lot of people help me out lately when I was in a very bad way, and someday I hope to pay them back in some way.

 

I've given random, no particular reason gifts to all of the following: my boss, several coworkers, several people I supervised, my friend's kids, my neighbor's kids, my neighbors, the ladies in the leasing office at the apartments where I lived, the girl who worked the night shift at the grocery store by my house, close friends, the spouses of close friends, family, no-so-close friends, the firemen at the fire-station by my apartment, my bartenders, coworkers of my friends and family, my son's friends, my husband's friends, my ex-boyfriend's kids, and some of my favorite customers at work at their kids. I can go into detail about each one if you need me to.

Holy crap, I don't even know that many people! O_o

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Guest El Chalupacabra

 

We're almost in euphemism terrority, keep going. I want to be able to justifiably say I'm full of the Christmas Spirit during orgasm.

No need to justify it. Just let it out.

 

It's a self-giving gift. So if someone else gives you a gift, they have already given themselves the gift of happiness in return. You still don't need to give them a gift back or feel guilty about it.

Depends on the person. Some people do expect something in return and will be hurt/offended if you don't give them something in return. They might even "measure up" your gift (how's that for euphemisms, THT?), and be pissy if you give them something they feel is less nice/thoughtful in return. Ofc there is no reason for miserable people like that in your life.

 

I think of giving gifts the same way I do loaning money: unless there is a contract involved, don't expect anything in return. If you do get something back, be gracious about it. The end.

 

And then there are some people out there who simply just get off on making sure EVERRRYYYBOOOODDDY knows how "selfless" they are. They make a special point to be in everyone's face about it. They are the ones who buy the biggest gift, or the most gifts, just to be some big shot, all the while "ah shucks, it was nothing!." They don't want anyone to one up them, either. They brag to people how much they spend on other people, and brag about how little they want in return. Sometimes they convince people it is all in the name of giving and selflessness. But in reality, deep down, they know they are attention whores who somehow feel superior to others by making sure they have given the biggest, best gifts. They are the type of people who make you feel dirty accepting their gifts, and whenever they send you something, you cringe, because you are going to have to listen them drone on about how selfless and giving they are.

 

EDIT: Just an FYI, I am talking about personal acquaintances of mine, or people I have run across in my life, just so there is no misunderstanding.

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Some families solve that problem by having everyone draw names for Christmas, or they limit gift-giving only to children age 12 and under. Otherwise, in big families, the presents can get really out of hand, with everyone fearful of insulting someone if they leave a person off their list. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that.

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