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The most wonderfully depressing time of the year


Evolence
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So I was having a pretty good holiday. Until I called my Mom today to wish her a Merry Christmas and she goes in a sad and sappy voice "It is not a very merry christmas here. Tina is in the hospital with pneumonia." Then she immediately shifts gears and goes "What are you making to eat?" When we go back to the thing about my sister being in the hospital. I can't get her to tell what hospital or get an accurate day of admission. Three days ago is what I kind of pinpoint.Then my Mom abruptly hangs up because she asked me "Are you driving?" and I answered yes. I talk to you every frickin' Sunday on speaker phone through the blue tooth hook up in my car and talk to you while I'm driving home from Church. "I don't want you to wreck or ruin your holiday".


So I get to tell Dad when I get to Wimberly that Tina's in the hospital because we planned to call her together. We spend the next hour calling hospitals in Tucson seeing if they have someone with my sisters name "booked in" for Christmas. She was in the ICU at a complete different hospital than she's used in the past and they let us talk to her. No one has come to see her all day. Not one visit or call. Hell. No one even knew. WTF?


Nothing can bring you down more quickly than family. Why would this need to be a secret? She's in the ICU because they can't give her antibiotics because of her kidney transplant. If she survives she's going to be told to stop smoking. But to not come and visit her all day, it makes me shake with anger. My brother literally dropped her off to hurry home to my Mom. Like he was leaving her at work.


And to top it off I have a niece who's baby is 3+ weeks early and breech. He's butt first.


And then Cedar fever.

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I hope your sister is on the mend, Spam.

 

I had a crappy Christmas. My husband is in an awful mood and won't acknowledge it, and both of my parents were "busy" yesterday when I called and said they would call back but neither did. The dog peed in our rental vacation house, and my in-laws pretty much ignore my kids and don't help, so I'm left to deal with 2 crazy kids myself. Merry ****ing Christmas.

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Guest El Chalupacabra

 

and my in-laws pretty much ignore my kids and don't help, so I'm left to deal with 2 crazy kids myself

Why would you expect your in-laws to handle your kids for you? If they are being d*cks to your kids, that's a whole different thing and uncalled for. But one shouldn't expect other people to discipline their kids for them. That's the parent's job.

 

I'm not saying that to be judgmental or anything, but the way people flip out these days when someone tells someone else's kids to "stop that" or "behave," is it any wonder someone wouldn't want to deal with someone else's kids?

 

And personally, I have in-laws with the most bratty kids and I would love to tell them to sit down and shut up and quit getting into sh*t that doesn't belong to them! But I don't and the point is, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. They aren't mine, and people should make sure their own kids behave.

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She didn't say anything about disciplining her kids. Just "deal" with them.

 

Something supernatural happens to kids on and around Christmas. I don't know if it's fully possible to "deal" with them alone at that time, tbh. Even over here where we have one of the most naturally respectful and well-behaved children imaginable we had to tag-team parent him on Christmas Eve because it was too overwhelming for one of us to go it alone. We almost had parenting break-downs until a quick check-in with the neighbors revealed the same situation happening at their house. Their kids are also naturally obedient and respectful, so it was nice to know we weren't alone.

 

I don't think it's all that earth-shattering to expect a little reprieve when grandparents are around. Grandparents are biologically engineered to shower grandchildren with attention, and I fully believe that there's a good reason for it. Sometimes it really does take a village.

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It's more that my kids aren't included or are ignored. I'm sorry, if you don't want to see them, I'll gladly not drive 500 miles with them. But we do all these kid-unfriendly activities or I try to do something like put baby down for a nap and everyone is suddenly noisy or disappears so the 3-year old starts yelling because she's unsupervised and baby won't go to sleep with his sister screaming. My 17-year old brother-in-law unloaded on my husband because he had to keep it down while the baby took a nap, and my husband was the one who had to apologize. Everyone excludes Quinn and won't sit down and play a game with her. Is that so much to ask, to actually spend time with your grandkid, niece, etc?

 

But thanks, Chalup, I'm not already feeling like throat-punching everyone.

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Dude. Times 22 kids the day before Christmas Break. It's all I can do to keep it together. I dunno what it is when kids hit that magical holiday spot. Anticipation and time off the schedule that they're used to combines to make a perfect storm of high energy kids. And this year was end of 9 weeks just before they let out for the holidays.

 

But I totally get it, Destiny. I make a point to spend time with all the kiddos in my famiily. I can talk to a three year old for hours and play tea party. It's exhausting but in reality sometimes it's good for Mom to take a break and depart from mothering and I love one on one time or a small group of children as opposed to working with 22 at one time. For me it is learning opportunities and I bond with the kids. I have nieces who have kids now that talk about Aunt J to their kids and it's getting harder to live up to the fun expectation every year as I get older and can't sit cross-legged or move as quickly. This year I made pom poms and decorated cookies with my great nieces and nephews and then we penciled in time for me to not be at the kids table because after about three hours I just want a beer and to tell a dirty joke.

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Guest El Chalupacabra

She didn't say anything about disciplining her kids. Just "deal" with them.

 

Something supernatural happens to kids on and around Christmas. I don't know if it's fully possible to "deal" with them alone at that time, tbh. Even over here where we have one of the most naturally respectful and well-behaved children imaginable we had to tag-team parent him on Christmas Eve because it was too overwhelming for one of us to go it alone. We almost had parenting break-downs until a quick check-in with the neighbors revealed the same situation happening at their house. Their kids are also naturally obedient and respectful, so it was nice to know we weren't alone.

 

I don't think it's all that earth-shattering to expect a little reprieve when grandparents are around. Grandparents are biologically engineered to shower grandchildren with attention, and I fully believe that there's a good reason for it. Sometimes it really does take a village.

It's more that my kids aren't included or are ignored. I'm sorry, if you don't want to see them, I'll gladly not drive 500 miles with them. But we do all these kid-unfriendly activities or I try to do something like put baby down for a nap and everyone is suddenly noisy or disappears so the 3-year old starts yelling because she's unsupervised and baby won't go to sleep with his sister screaming. My 17-year old brother-in-law unloaded on my husband because he had to keep it down while the baby took a nap, and my husband was the one who had to apologize. Everyone excludes Quinn and won't sit down and play a game with her. Is that so much to ask, to actually spend time with your grandkid, niece, etc?

 

But thanks, Chalup, I'm not already feeling like throat-punching everyone.

I understand that. I took "deal with" as watching or disciplining when necessary.

 

I am just speaking from the other perspective of when my brother's wife's sister abuses the privilege of family and inlaws watching her kids for her to the point where it is expected and taken for granted, while she has a good time, yet doesn't want people telling her kids to behave or whatever.

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