Pong Messiah Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I think the headline says it all: Teen Caught Making Love to Stuffed Horse in Walmart Why did Walmart make this teen sink to such levels? Discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitth'raw'nuroudo Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 If only Walmart would offer furry prostitution services, all this could have been avoided. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kurgan Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 When I saw the headline, I thought, "Only in Florida." Sure enough ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I just don't understand the draw to live in Florida. I mean besides this there are tons of other news-you-don't-need-to-know stories that make me think I should walk around in a full on Ebola Prevention suit. Flying cockroaches, alligators that eat your dog, neighborhood watch guys who shoot first. Yeah. Not moving to Florida. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Are you KIDDING? 340+ days of sun a year-beautiful beaches surround almost the entire state-water sports GALORE. Alligators don't eat dogs unless you take your dogs to the swamp and let them near the water unleashed. There are nawt flying cockroaches and George Zimmerman's been identified. It's better than 29 days of sun a year, average temps in the 50s, some of the worst traffic in the nation and outrageous costs of living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Not buying it. Summers spent on both the Atlantic and Gulf coasts - I have spent three months in Orlando and that area, Sarasota and Tampa Bay other times - have learned me good in Florida. Also HURRICANES. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 well, Orlando's an armpit-I'll give you that. HURRICANES are so intermittent, it's worth it to me for warmth and sun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 ALSO: from a better-written article on the incident: "He then put the toy, now covered in ejaculate, back on the shelf, police say. Other items were contaminated and could not be sold." EEEEEEEYEWWW!! http://www.wfla.com/story/26786806/cops-man-masturbated-with-stuffed-animal-at-walmart-in-brooksville Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pong Messiah Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 "Contaminated." That is harsh. If somebody said that about an object I had ejaculated on, it would hurt my feelings. Also: agree with Monkeygirl. I am OK with Florida. And Orlando has a dirty feel to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Pong, you're a filthy heathen who doesn't like Texas. Judgement is not credible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Driver Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Are you KIDDING? 340+ days of sun a year-beautiful beaches surround almost the entire state-water sports GALORE. Cali has that and isn't known for being ****ing terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowDog Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Its not? You mofos have to pay vehicle taxes on riding lawnmowers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RelentlessMalice Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 #Blamejameis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odine Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Isnt Florida filled with elderly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pong Messiah Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 Every taxi driver I've ever hailed in Florida has been over 90 years old. It's weird. I think the retiree angle may be overstated because of politics (more likely to vote, easy to scare), but it's not a myth, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Are you KIDDING? 340+ days of sun a year-beautiful beaches surround almost the entire state-water sports GALORE.Cali has that and isn't known for being ****ing terrible. TRUE-or probablt the bugs. But Cali can be out of reach financially. and Florida, oh yeah, whiteheads galore but they're all in bed by 8. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obsidian Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 When I saw the headline, I thought, "Only in Florida." Sure enough ...I watch a weekly internet show that has a segment about this kinda stuff. There is ALWAYS a Florida story. Every. Week. And quite often a Wal-Mart story. In fact, this story is pretty much the embodiment of all the what the fuckery the show deals with... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Sounds more like rape than making love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evolence Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kurgan Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 The only other thing I'll add is that the kid's obviously got some kind of psychological problem. I can't see how outing him nationaly will do any good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 It stands as a warning to other Wal-Mart masturbators: keep it to the frozen food aisle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odine Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Thank god for talking dolphins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitth'raw'nuroudo Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 ...can't...breath..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitth'raw'nuroudo Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 I just don't understand the draw to live in Florida. I mean besides this there are tons of other news-you-don't-need-to-know stories that make me think I should walk around in a full on Ebola Prevention suit. Flying cockroaches, alligators that eat your dog, neighborhood watch guys who shoot first. Yeah. Not moving to Florida.What more reason do you need? It's like living next to an interstellar wormhole. Yeah, you could find yourself being molested in your sleep by a pile of lime-green ooze, but you'll never ever be bored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pavonis Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Boredom is underrated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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