Guest El Chalupacabra Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 There's a dead bird in my basement staircase I can't bring myself to touch.How the eff do you manage Thanksgiving? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 TOFURKEY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Human Torch Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I love that stupid movie. It's why I have a cat named Roy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 Rock, how did it go?They put me on Prozac and gave me Klonopin to help with panic attacks. He also gave me Ambien for sleep and that has been a godsend! The Prozac is supposed to take 2 weeks and I'm there now. There's no mystical transformation yet! I think I am feeling more mellow now. He also put me out of work for the next 2 1/2 months which is great. Gives me a chance to get out of this hole that is my life. I turned 38 yesterday and it's really messing with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 DUDE-the passing of time doesn't deserve an app on the i-phone of your life. SEE ME BEING RELEVANT? But, seriously, we all age at the same rate-time passes the same for everyone, under every circumstance. You turn "a year older" every gatdam second-depending on when you start counting. It's like that celebrities-die-in-threes bullshrimp. It's good you're not working! Just pay attention to what the new meds do to/for you. Wanna dance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 You are super inspiring, Rock. I really respect the way you are open and keep fighting, even though things aren't going well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Absolutely! The courage you've shown in the past few years is really inspiring actually. I know you may not always see it that way, but it takes some serious balls to be this open about everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 Thank you all for saying that. Funny, it's this place where sharing too much information helped ruin my life is the same place where sharing more has helped healed me these past few weeks. The more I discuses my fears, the more I see that WE ARE NOT ALONE in them. That really doesn't help me - but it is of come comfort. I just don't want to die and be meaningless. I'm having a hard time grasping what "meaninglessness" is or isn't, but I know I want so type of impact. I've decided today that I'm going to make lists of everything I've done in the past that was both right and wrong. Things I did that were right, things that weren't. I'm going to explore each one and see if I can come up with pattens or consistencies in both to help me in my present. Does that sound dumb and a waste of time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 I think the Prozac is kicked in. I fee less anxiety overall, but if I sit and think about dying, I go back down the wormhole. I have Klonopin that I can take to give me instant relief, but it tends to make me sleepy. The Ambien is VERY hit or miss... some nights I'm out like alight. Others - WIDE AWAKE. Anybody have experience with these? I was supposed to start therapy tomorrow but she had to cancel for 2 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burt Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Well, everything will be regarded as meaningless in 10,000 years. No one is going to care which quarterback won the most Super Bowls, who was President, etc. A big caldera, ice age, cultural collapse, etc. will happen and make almost everything inconsequential. How many Romans can you think of off the top of your head? I doubt I would exceed 40. That was only 1500-2500 years ago. I try not to give out unsolicited advice, but since you asked, try clearing your head. Sit and stare at a fixed point, control your breathing, and just don't think for a few minutes. Very relaxing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 It doesn't freak you knowing that you won't be here to see what happenes in a hundred years? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 The thought of being around in a hundred years sounds awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cashmere Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Totally agree, Fozzie! I take joy in things that are fleeting. The color of the sky at sunset, the bloom of a flower, a rainbow peeking through the clouds. Just because my life is fleeting doesn't mean it can't be beautiful and meaningful. In fact, I think it's that temporary nature that pushes me to make the most of the time I've got. Whether that's 70 more years or 2 more hours, my outlook is the same. (Not that I want to die, mind you.) (Sorry if that's not helpful, Rock. I'm definitely not trying to be pretentious or judgemental- just sharing my perspective.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I think the Prozac is kicked in. I fee less anxiety overall, but if I sit and think about dying, I go back down the wormhole. I have Klonopin that I can take to give me instant relief, but it tends to make me sleepy. The Ambien is VERY hit or miss... some nights I'm out like alight. Others - WIDE AWAKE. Anybody have experience with these? I was supposed to start therapy tomorrow but she had to cancel for 2 weeks. YES. I flushed my Prozac because of this and other side-effects. AND ALSO MY therapist has cancelled on me 2 weeks in a row. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Ray Kenobi Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 It doesn't freak you knowing that you won't be here to see what happenes in a hundred years?Food for thought, but this type of thing has never bothered me in the least. Comparably, everything we know and everyone we know is absolutely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Our entire planet is barely just a speck of nothingness in the universe. Our time spent on it barely even registers as a blip in the timeline of everything. We will never mean anything or make any measurable difference whatsoever. Nevermind one hundred years into the future, even that is absolutely nothing. Hundreds of thousands of years into future is still comparably nothing, and after that time all of the history that we know at this point will have become irrelevant. I actually find a lot of comfort in that sometimes, because I realize the things that worry me or stress me out have absolutely no larger significance whatsoever. They make only a small portion of who I am, and even I myself am hopelessly insignificant. That's not to say that existence is pointless, because we can still make a difference to others during our short time here. Beyond the realistic futility of it all, we can still enjoy that illusion for the time being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Jade Skywalker Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 It doesn't freak you knowing that you won't be here to see what happenes in a hundred years?It does for me, which is why I don't think about it, honestly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 YES. I flushed my Prozac because of this and other side-effects. Dammit Tami, now my salmon's gonna be on happy pills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burt Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 It doesn't freak you knowing that you won't be here to see what happenes in a hundred years?Food for thought, but this type of thing has never bothered me in the least. Comparably, everything we know and everyone we know is absolutely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Our entire planet is barely just a speck of nothingness in the universe. Our time spent on it barely even registers as a blip in the timeline of everything. We will never mean anything or make any measurable difference whatsoever. Nevermind one hundred years into the future, even that is absolutely nothing. Hundreds of thousands of years into future is still comparably nothing, and after that time all of the history that we know at this point will have become irrelevant. I actually find a lot of comfort in that sometimes, because I realize the things that worry me or stress me out have absolutely no larger significance whatsoever. They make only a small portion of who I am, and even I myself am hopelessly insignificant. That's not to say that existence is pointless, because we can still make a difference to others during our short time here. Beyond the realistic futility of it all, we can still enjoy that illusion for the time being. Beautifully said. Might I add this: Perspective (Earth is the pale blue dot in the brown band on the right):"Look again at that dot. That's here, that's home, that's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there—on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam." -Carl Sagan An astronaut on the moon had this to say when looking back at the Earth:"You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, "Look at that, you son of a bitch." -Edgar Mitchell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copper Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 LOOK AT THAT, YOU SON OF A BITCH new phrase 4 lyfeeee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kurgan Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Don't know what sense this will make: I like being alive. But I don't like the thought of eternal existance of any kind. I don't look forward to death and I don't want to die, but the idea of my consciousness one day ceasing to be not only does NOT frighten me, I actually find it somewhat comforting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DANA-kin Skywalker Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 : ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest El Chalupacabra Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 It doesn't freak you knowing that you won't be here to see what happenes in a hundred years?This is really sort of my response to your original post, too, Rock. For me, I don't dwell on the idea that someday I will die. Not to get all existential, but I think we are all allotted our finite time in this mortal coil of ours. I don't constantly fear my death, because it is a part of life, but I don't want to die, either. There is a point where being afraid to die is actually healthy. You are supposed to be afraid of it to a point, but there is a point where constantly dwelling on it can also be a hindrance, too. Really, knowing your days are numbered is the fire under your ass that has been lit to make the most of the time you do have. I'm a bit of a procrastinator on some things, and if I were going to live forever, I would get absolutely NOTHING done! The thing I fear about death is really the death of others, because once I'm dead, I won't know it. I won't know or feel anything. But when others die, I have to be here to mourn their loss and miss them. I've lost friends and family over the years, most recently my Mom last year, and my uncle this past October. And it is inevitable that my dad and grandfather will leave this world one of these days, relatively soon: my grandfather will be 97 this year, and my dad isn't in the greatest health. To be honest, this DOES bother me, so when it is something I start to dwell on, I have to actively put it out of my mind by thinking of something else, or get busy doing something. I don't know if that is helpful or even useful, Rock, but just know what you are feeling isn't abnormal, but please don't let it prevent you from enjoying your life, either. I'm not sure if this is something you are talking to a professional about, already, but if you aren't, you should. Take care, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 It doesn't freak you knowing that you won't be here to see what happenes in a hundred years?It does for me, which is why I don't think about it, honestly. Hence my problem... there are times when I can't, CAN'T turn it off. Having one right now as I type this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 Totally agree, Fozzie! I take joy in things that are fleeting. The color of the sky at sunset, the bloom of a flower, a rainbow peeking through the clouds. Just because my life is fleeting doesn't mean it can't be beautiful and meaningful. In fact, I think it's that temporary nature that pushes me to make the most of the time I've got. Whether that's 70 more years or 2 more hours, my outlook is the same. (Not that I want to die, mind you.) (Sorry if that's not helpful, Rock. I'm definitely not trying to be pretentious or judgemental- just sharing my perspective.)It is helpful and a LOT of you are making so, so, so much logical & rational sense. I am fully aware that my problem is irrational... well to an extent, I suppose. Shit, I AM GOING TO DIE lol, but not a damn thing I can do about it so i shouldn't be dwelling on it- but that's where I'm at. I have my first therapy session this Thursday at 2:00pm. I'll post what I get out of it and maybe some of you guys might find it interesting to see what their take on it is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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