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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


Darth Ender
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Um...If you were to genetically splice something to create humanoid-ninja super heroes, WHY would you choose turtles? Really.

 

I mean I'll probably see it for a laugh, but um... Really?

 

 

1. Genetic compatibility with just the right obscure chromosome sequence

2. Turtle shell genes afford the best possible natural protection through the convoluted mutation process

3. The pet store down the street from EvilCo Labs had a clearance sale

4. Yertle the Turtle was William Fichtner's favorite book as a kid

5. Only poser scientists use guinea pigs for everything

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  • 4 weeks later...

I seriously want to know what Bay and the director think Ninja are. Someone needs to ask because I think they believe Ninja are Human Tanks.

 

This trailer makes the plot look like Avengers or MoS world shattering stuff. TMNT at it's base is local, tight, secretive. Daredevil stuff, dark alleys and beating down on crime kingpins. Sure with The Krang it gets more spectular, but it's still suppose to be contained, a war in shadows... you know stuff befitting a Ninja.

 

The more I think about it the more I think Bay and the director are making the 80s Cartoon but Naughts-Xtreme style.

 

The 90s film is looking closer to a Watchmen literal adaptation now.

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  • 1 month later...

You're right, why continue to make movies when watching that made me lose the will to live.

I know! After this movie WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO LIVE FOR? I wish I could wake up and it be August 8th.

 

I love the way the rooftop scene at the beginning is an almost exact replice from the rooftop scene from the original.

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  • 1 month later...

--MIGHT BE SOME SPOILERS BELOW--

 

 

just got back from watching TMNT.

 

 

The turtles themselves, i actually enjoyed. a little heavy on the michelangelo tom-foolery, but overall, the turtles were a good time.

 

 

as for the rest of the movie... pretty terrible. the sound effects and visual effects were just a total rip-off of transformers. Shredder was quite literally, a transformer. i knew the movie was going to look a lot like a michael bay film, i get that, but i was really surprised at how heavy this film borrowed from transformers.

 

 

the story. how far out of left field did they have to go? pretty far. come to find out, april o'neil essentially had the turtles and splinter for pets in a lab before she rescued them from a fire and set them loose next to a sewer drain. she then, by chance became a reporter and, again, by chance, mistakenly uncovered the secrets of the ninja turtles. oh my effing god. seriously.

 

 

and look, i understand things that can never happen in real life can happen in movies. that's the beauty of movies. but a tractor/trailer and 4 hummers in pursuit of one another, blowing shit up, all the while GOING DOWN A SNOW CAPPED MOUNTAIN for about 15 minutes of the movie, dodging all trees, all rock ledges and out-running an avalanche has got to be one of the most ridiculous things i've ever seen in cinema. ever.

 

 

if there's one thing megan fox can do, it's be beautiful and sexy at all times, no matter what's happening. and that includes looking like she just got out of a make-up chair after she's been chased in a sewer, thrown around in a sewer and practically blown up in a sewer.

 

 

so yeah, there's some of the things worth mentioning. again, i'm really surprised i enjoyed the turtles as much as i did. but the rest of the movie is awful.

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I have seen this movie twice. I thought the turtles were well done. My only complaint was forced conflict between Raphael and Leonardo. The writers just assumed that the audience knew about their relationship. The CGI was better than expected. As far as the plot goes, it looked like there was some resemblance of a good story, but I think there were quite a few rewrites that the movie seemed a bit cobbled together and ended up with a cartoon plot. I think Eric Sachs was the Shredder during filming, but the Asian Shredder was added in at the last minute. Other than a few scenes, no one really interacts with him and all of his scenes looked to be filmed in the same location.

 

Overall, the movie wasn't terrible. I could see underpinnings of an actual coherent story. Too bad it seemed as if there too many cooks in the kitchen.

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  • 1 year later...

So a bit of an update. I have seen this one about a dozen times, primarily due to it being the best movie available on a long-ass international flight. It has some slow parts, but through the power of an ipad, those parts were easily skipped. If this was done, it was a good movie.

 

Anyways, the new trailer dropped. This is pretty much a movie version of the cartoon and I loved it. My only concern is that they are stuffing too much. Hopefully the Krang stuff is to set up the third movie.

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