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Say Something Random II - Eclectic Depression


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We're having a girl.

My big stressor is gone. I had applied for a job that I completely forgot about. They called me this week, I did a phone interview and got to meet with the hiring managers today. After the intervie

Speaking of love threads, I'm getting married on Saturday!

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Oh yeah, Cerina. I feel you on this.

 

I never thought I would have to do this for my younger sister but we had to setup a medical POA this past week. I got a sub and drove out to Tucson and met my Dad at the airport. The reason being is my sister was on this dialysis that you can do from home for a year but because of the filthy conditions she lives in she kept getting infections and being hospitalized. This past December she was hospitalized near death. She gets some occupational therapy because of a minor stroke and someone comes to her house to work on building strength for her in her arms with some exercises.

 

My Mom and brother, Tim, live in a big four bedroom three bath main house and Tina lives in an attached mother in law apartment. The house is paid off and Tim's a dead beat so his job is to suck money out of Mom's account and smoke weed and play video games and keep Mom and Tina alive, barely. Tim was trained to assist Tina with her dialysis machine. She texts him when she does the dialysis and he comes over to her apartment (less than 20 steps away) and is supposed to help her hook up her machine, lift the bags for dialysis and start it. Sometimes he'll be on time, some times he's not going to over until it's convenient for him and sometimes he can't do it because HIGH and video games come first. They really call each other in the house on their phones to ask things. Or scream across the house.

 

Well in December Tim got upset about his terrible life and mad because Tina has a friend staying over he doesn't like (She's a 35 year old chick who's married to a 70 year old retired oral surgeon dentist so free access to prescription pads means Tina's friend can bring the drugs Tina likes when stays as Tina's not exactly perfect either) and so Tim stopped helping her hook up to the machine. The day in December the occupational therapist came around back to Tina's apartment because they won't let her in through the front door to the main house, she found Tina unresponsive and reported it Mom - note Mom wouldn't let her in the house and it had to be shouted through a screened in window to the main house's kitchen.

 

So Mom forced Tim to get up and carry his sister to the car and take her to the emergency room because they can't afford an ambulance.

 

Tim left her at the door to the ER and drove off. Because Tina was unresponsive they could not get permission to do life saving dialysis or run tests.

 

Tim had to go to eat. It was more important.

 

So nurses found my Mom's number in Tina's purse and called and after a really bizarre conversation with my Mom concerning Mom not believing her daughter was in the hospital and then finally Mom remembering the earlier screamed conversation through the window goes "DO EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KEEP HER ALIVE!" And then were hung up on by Mom.

 

Dad and I found out about this from Tina's doctors and nurses and thought it would be a good idea to get a medical POA set up.

 

We had a nice talk all set out to help her chose the best decision maker for her.

 

But she chose Tim.

 

*sigh*

 

The hardest thing to remember is when people are sick they do not make good decisions for themselves. My mom's an acoholic, Tim's a lazy ass and Tina's been sick for a long long long time. They are all codependent and enablers and the cycles of addiction are in that house.

 

I have long since come to the sad realization that my sister will die and she won't do the things she should do to help her live. Mom's pressuring Matt to give a kidney to Tina but if it's possible that Tina is suicidal (which is what I believe the latest episode is about) and she won't stop smoking and taking pain pills in a body that can't process toxins and doesn't do her exercises designed to help her so she can survive a surgery that Matt should not give the kidney.

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fuck! We should form a club.

 

I was back at Nana's today. Walt had asked me if I could stay with Nana for a "couple of hours" today so he could go into the office and pay bills. So I was like "sure, of course! Let me pack a few things for the kids and we'll be right over." So I pack the baby a bag and I quickly sift through Noah's schoolwork and pick out what we can do away from home for a couple of hours. Great! Easy! No problemo!

 

So we get there, Walt leaves, the baby and Nana take a nap, and Noah and I decide to do his history and science work for today. We finish up, Nana and Luke wake up, so we all eat lunch. By now it's been 3 hours since Walt's left. Time goes on. Nana starts bitching up a storm about Walt and his shitsack son, Clay, because apparently in the middle of the urine fiasco the other day Walt stopped assisting her to take a phone call from Clay which she swears was the dozenth phone call that day (something Trevor keeps telling me from the other end "holy hell, Clay spends all damn day calling Walt! He has no idea what he's doing! He can't take a shit without calling Walt and asking him how to do it!!"). So she started yelling out loudly (loudly enough for Clay to hear), "SURE! FINE!! I'M SURE THAT'S LIFE OR DEATH! PLEASE! PLEASE TAKE THAT PHONE CALL AND HELP THAT LITTLE SHIT WITH WHATEVER IT IS HE NEEDS THAT HE DIDN'T GET FROM THE PHONE CALL 4 MINUTES AGO!! I CAN TELL IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN HELPING YOUR WIFE WHO JUST HAD BACK SURGERY!!!" And, yeah, I completely agree with that one. So Nana keeps complaining to me about Clay and Walt, and Trevor calls a few times to do the same because Walt is now at the office telling everyone how "needy" Nana is and how "she keeps asking me for water or to cover her toes and damn this is a lot of work! She's so damn needy!" Trevor points out how Walt has had 4 surgeries since he and Nana began dating 17 years ago and she's taken care of him through every one, including this last one where she stayed at the hospital and scratched his toes all night because he said they itched!!

 

So anyway, another 2 hours goes by and Trevor texts me to complain some more. At this point the baby is on his last diaper because I wasn't expecting to be there more than 2-3 hours. I tell Trevor to tell Walt to come home, so he does but not before he tells Trevor that "we help you guys out all the time, you need to help us out!", and Trevor tells him that's not the point because if I knew ahead of time I would be there longer I would have prepared better (more baby supplies and more schoolwork, plus I would have taken the stuff I need to do for the Cub Scout meeting this afternoon).

 

Walt finally gets home and starts bitching because "damn you just can't do a week's worth of work in 3 hours!" I decide to not point out that it was 5 hours, not 3, but I did ask why he's doing a week's worth of work. I mean, he's preparing to hand the company over to Clay, Clay should be able to fill in completely for a week! Then Walt and I get into an argument. He starts screaming that Trevor is lying to me about what Clay does all day. I point out that Trevor gains nothing by lying to me about Clay's work habits and if it's a problem someone can just check the security cameras which I really want to happen because yesterday someone left a nugget of weed on a work table and this morning Clay and the new guy were apparently "HIGH AS SHIT" according to Walt. And since Walt is in complete and total denial about Clay in every way possible it would be kinda fun for him to see some of this with his own eyes. (And I don't even give a rat's ass if someone smokes pot. Don't care at all. But Walt is just sooooo damn insistent that his child would never do that.)

 

Also, Trevor's come home every day this week saying how Clay has been bitching about having to do all this extra paperwork because Walt won't come in and do it, and Trevor just wants to slap him and say, "you know he's caring for his wife, right?"

 

It's not even the sick people who are making this difficult! Of course I'm going to come care for my grandmother if she needs it!! But don't lie to me about how long I'll be because I do have a full schedule every day. I can and will rearrange my schedule and make other accommodations if needed, but I NEED TO KNOW UP FRONT!!

 

Oh, and before I left Walt was questioning me about whether or not Trevor really needs to paint our house this weekend. Apparently they're talking about working over the weekend because they don't ****ing do anything during the week and Trevor told them no. But yes, we do need to paint the trim on our house. We've gotten 3 letters from the HOA asking us to but we haven't had time because everyone in the damn family needs something all the ****ing time.

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Cerina, family can make you crazy. Remember your health and your kids health and make choices from there. You have a great support network in your neighbors and Church and Boy Scouts. The Serenity Prayer helps me a ton with my Tucson family. When I get tired of the crap I just go back home. It's a thirteen hour drive but I can only take my family on that side of the US for so long. They're emotional manipulators and at some point they've made choices that drive their lifestyle and being miserable. Don't let Walt and those people in your family affect you to the point your harming your health. I wish flying to and from Tucson was cheaper or I'd just fly back instead of driving.

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If Nicole likes my post too then it becomes science since I now Jacob and Tami did the same thing I did.

Haha, I liked the post and then saw this after. Nice. Anyway, A++, highly recommend, would do again.

 

Spam and Cerina, I'm sorry you're going through this, I know how much this sucks. It's an ugly, cyclical thing, and I've pulled back lately as a result of the latest cycle. This last visit with my mom did irreparable damage to our relationship. My mom would really rather someone else be POA other than me, but no one wants it (I don't either, but I'm winner by default). Her relationship with her sister is so toxic, and my aunt thrives on discontent because she's a miserable human being. So I can so understand your frustration, Spam, with Tina choosing Tim. Is there a reason they leave you out? You remind me of me, I call myself the white sheep od my black sheep family. Somehow I'm the asshole because I've never been to jail or rehab. I'm always the odd man out in my mom's family.

 

Cerina, I'm sorry how frustrated your Nana must feel. It's hard to be the patient when you're a naturally independent person.

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I'm thinking she chose Tim because we waited too long to talk to her about this situation and getting this setup. We've done medical POA's for older members of the family who had Alzheimer's and dementia or Parkinson's but by the time it occurred to Dad and I to set this up for Tina it was driven because the thing happened already where a medical POA would have been nice. Tim and Tina have a closer bond. I am not really treated as family when I go to visit either. So while it stung inside for me I knew in my heart she'd pick Tim. Both have addiction issues (Tina loves pain killers and cigarettes and Tim smokes weed and plays video games). Which means she can get him to keep her pill popping secret. The thing is her Doc's already know. When she had surgery for the port for the new hemodialysis they gave her straight up over the counter meds for pain.

 

Dad was going to see how receptive Tina would be to her step-Mom being POA but it didn't fly. Diane is probably the most awesome person to have in your corner especially when sick. She's a stay at home caregiver and she's done it for her parents and Dad's parents when they were getting old and her neighbor and a family that her Church supports. She's good with doctors and knows a ton of doctor things. I'm was the compromise because I can be reached any time (even at school) and closest to get to AZ if needed and have met Dr. Ho, her nephrologist.

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I like those little stick on heating pads for things like shoulder pain. I did something to my neck last week (probably just stress, tbh) and those helped a lot.

OMG! That did work great. I have an appointment because I suspect it hurts during the day too and don't notice because I have to much to do but I am also seeing a loss in motion. I can't even brush my hair!

 

Krawlie, you are broken. I have trouble sleeping on too on the one day I get that privilege. I can't tell if it's because I don't wanna waste my free time sleeping or if it is excitement that I have something I want to do planned. SUPER BOWL. I started marinating wings last night and booze has been bought.

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Why am I so bad at sleeping. It's my day to sleep in and I've basically been awake since 230. I want to die.

If it makes you feel any better, your post shows up first on my top news feed on facebook, so clearly the algorithm cares.

 

If it makes you feel even better than that, my feed apparently sucks so bad that your post about this made it to the top.

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Why am I so bad at sleeping. It's my day to sleep in and I've basically been awake since 230. I want to die.

This is what happens after you have kids. Before I had one, Saturdays were always sleep until noon day. After the kid I was always up early. By the time he was able to get his own damn breakfast I still couldn't sleep past 8. Now, even if he's at his mom's house I'm up at 7 CAUSE THE DAY IS WASTING. When I do manage to sleep past, say 9, I feel super guilt and anxiety.

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You guys are cracked. I trained Noah to sleep in and I also trained him to get his own food and entertain himself. Now we're both us past midnight every night, but unfortunately Luke likes to get up around 7 and scream in my ear for an hour. Noah still manages to stay asleep though.

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I used to be cool and stay up late. Now I'm in bed by 10 or 11 on weekends because I'm so frigging beat, and I'm still exhausted when the kids wake up at 7 or 8. At least Ethan's not up at 5 every morning like when he was a newborn. That was the worst. Only early bird in our entire family. I'd say he got switched at the hospital but he's clearly our DNA.

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I'm getting old. I have multiple pains in my right hand. My middle finger, my thumb, my wrist.... Good God.

 

I have been experiencing head pain for over a year now. Not headaches that linger. Head pain that occurs on the top left side of my head and/or my left temple, when I cough, sneeze or do anything that pushes pressure toward my head. Such as kneeling down/looking down. I had a CT Scan done on my head, and nothing wrong was found. Thinking that it is because of diabetes/high glucose. I'm a ****ing wreck.

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