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Say Something Random II - Eclectic Depression


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Guys, I hate pregnant women.

 

Trying to get Ethan in for vision therapy. Had to FIGHT to get him on the schedule because there were "no available therapists that met his needs". Suddenly, this woman is available. But she's 7 months pregnant, so we'll have to switch. Fine, just get me on the schedule. We haven't even had a single session, and she's complaining about how she won't be able to handle him and he might be "rough" with her belly, can we switch our spot to a much less convenient time so that she has a helper because she might not be able to pick him up or bend over, etc. Honey, do you think I'm going to sit there and sip my latte and let my kid use your stomach as a punching bag? Or just drop him off and come back in 45 minutes to pick him up? WTF.

 

I can't decide if she's just typical crazy pregnant woman or just lazy and doesn't really want to work anymore.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I AM SO in procrastination mode, I'm driving my own self nuts and do NOT why I can't motivate.

 

ALSO: NICOLE the pics you're posting of your kids on FB lately make my cold, dark heart melt a lil.

 

OH YEAH AND does anyone know if it's bad to eat tiny bits of bone, like MEAT bone out of a chuck steak or roast that maybe you thought was a nice little bit of overcooked goodness, hypothetically?

 

AND ALSO: I just watched Hulk Hogan pick up Bruce Jenner by the throat on my teevee. GUYS DO YOU think he's really trans?

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I know some of you have dealt with some inheritance issues lately, and a number of you have some legal experience, so maybe someone here can help me out.

 

My paternal grandfather died in 2011, and once that happened we found out that apparently he was very good financially, and there's a lot of money he left behind. My grandmother was convinced she'd die within a year, and remains convinced she's gonna drop dead any minute. She's never been in very good health and every update I hear (I'm not close with them--I've seen her twice in the last decade and that was only because I dropped my dad off at her house) it just gets worse. How much of that is just drama, I don't know. But anyway, she's sitting on a lot of money. As far as I know, their will is set out that each of their three kids gets equal amounts. Whether that's accurate or not doesn't really matter for this question, though.

 

See, my dad is in really shitty health too. For over ten years now, almost every phone call I get from my parents I have to wonder in the back of my mind if this is it or not. Just last week he had a serious issue that could've killed him had they not gotten to the hospital sooner. So my question is, if he passes before his mother, what happens to his share of the inheritance? I'm sure this is probably something that actually gets spelled out in the will so maybe none of you even CAN answer, but I'm still wondering. Does it just get split up between my dad's siblings and my mom cut out, or does she pick it up by virtue of HIS will?

 

This isn't a sympathy post, btw. For all I know they both live another decade or two. I'm just wondering how the inheritance would work.

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It's probably something is best to be specifically spelled out in the Will, or the others will be able to contest it. My family had a similar situation. My dad was the youngest of 3 brothers. When my grandparents passed away, the oldest brother had developed early-stage Alzheimer's and had a wife that couldn't be trusted with money (and had treated my grandparents poorly). The middle brother had passed away 10 years earlier, leaving behind a wife and 2 kids. My dad was healthy. The Will spelled out that anything leftover from the sale of the home and estate was to be divided equally between the 3 brothers families. My dad got his money, free and clear. The brother who had died had the money given to his children, with his wife given custody of the money until they turned a certain age (21 or 25, something like that). The brother with early-stage dementia, his money was placed in trust for his children and grandchildren, and they could not access the money until he died. That was a nice F-U to my "aunt". I would've liked to have seen her face at the Will reading.

 

My grandfather passed 6 months after my grandmother. He DID modify the Will after she passed, mostly as maintenance, but he also changed some details like the trusts for the grandkids, etc. So your grandmother does have time to change things up. She was the legal Heir to your grandfather, so the estate and goods were passed to her. Now, it's pretty much hers to decide, since she's the last one living. But if she doesn't get that Will updated, they'll use that as the starting point and then people can potentially contest things, like your dad's siblings trying to cut your mom out if he's passed. I would ask your dad to have a talk with his mom about what he would like done with his share if he's not alive, whether that's the money goes to your mom or goes to his kids. I know grandma doesn't want to think about stuff like that, but it really makes things less complicated from the survivors.

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Well I'm glad to hear that he's going to get the treatment he needs, finally. Keep your care network close, and let us know if there's anything we can do. I'm sure we can get Monkeygirl to bring you care packages!

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To be slightly more helpful, Nicole, just remember that it's actually worse for you than him. He'll never remember it. Noah had 3 surgeries before his first birthday, and he doesn't remember any of them. He will need one in another few years, and I suspect that's going to be a much harder ordeal for all of us.

 

While he's there, just make sure you and your husband tag team to take at least an hour away from the hospital to take a shower and reboot. It's something I didn't do until Noah's 2nd surgery, and I definitely pushed for it during the 3rd.

 

Be strong. You can handle this.

 

Also, my great-uncle died today. My grandmother is a complete wreck. He's the first of her 6 brothers to go, and it was so sudden. A little after 1pm today we got a call saying he'd had a major heart attack and by 2:45 pm we were told he was brain dead and would have to be taken off life support. As far as I know he was perfectly healthy. Well, not perfectly, he was in his late 70s, but still reasonably healthy for someone that age. I'm really not prepared for this to start a domino effect.

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The procedure is supposed to take about 90 minutes. We're familiar with the hospital so my guess is we'll spend part of it at the Starbucks getting breakfast (6:45 am report time, and we have to drop Quinn off at the daycare right when it opens at 5:30 am). Both of us will be home the first 2 days, then we'll swap days off so each of us gets some respite from grouchy baby. But the company denied my FMLA request today, claiming I don't have enough hours in the previous year. My manager called BS, and our HR rep agrees, so hopefully they'll help me fight it.

 

Right now he's walking around the house with a slightly too heavy water bottle like a little drunk. He's such a happy kid.

 

I'm sorry about your great-uncle. My thoughts especially are with your grandma.

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