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We’re leaning towards medication now. The short version is that his ADHD makes it hard for him to pick up on the rules of play, especially when it isn’t a set game. He struggles with sticking to the rules but he at least has a basic idea of how to play soccer. But just joining in whatever other kids are doing is really hard. That issue is causing social issues, and he’s an extrovert who NEEDS people, so it’s like he’s being emotionally starved at school. So we need to find something to help, and we’ve reached a point where I’ve gone from completely against it to let’s start this summer.

 

He also gets upset a lot after school because he wants to go play with a friend and it normally doesn’t work, but it makes more sense to m now. It always happens on days when recess isn’t good, and it’s because it’s the equivalent of not feeding him all day and then refusing to feed him after school. School is over for the summer, so we’ll be better able to help, but I’m scared for next school year.

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Remember how I said that Luke was so uncooperative at his speech evals that he's probably going to test crazy low?

 

Got the scores today. Communication skills - 1st percentile. Cognitive abilities - .1 percentile (yes...that's a decimal. one-tenth percentile).

 

Apparently my toddler is a vegetable.

Correction. Cognitive abilities was .01 percentile. You would think he should still be hospitalized and drooling on himself from a coma.

 

Who the **** did the test and what test? They can't give you the protocols, but they can show you the protocols. Answering the first question, which is usually as easy as "What is your name" will get you out of the .01. Did they give you the confidence band?

 

Regardless, ANY professional test (WISC, WIAT, WJ, Stanford-Binet, etc) clearly states that if the student is not appropriately cooperating the child SHOULD NOT BE TESTED. This is clearly a misadministration and should NOT be used to write an IEP. Furthermore, there are normed observational scales completed by adults the child frequently interacts with (parents, teachers, specialists, etc) that should have been used and not just your word (which is important too!).

 

Part of your rights in an IEP meeting is agreeing that the testing is thorough and no-further testing is needed. I would need to know a bit more, but just based on what you have said, it seems like they should have given at the least the Vineland.

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We’re leaning towards medication now. The short version is that his ADHD makes it hard for him to pick up on the rules of play, especially when it isn’t a set game. He struggles with sticking to the rules but he at least has a basic idea of how to play soccer. But just joining in whatever other kids are doing is really hard. That issue is causing social issues, and he’s an extrovert who NEEDS people, so it’s like he’s being emotionally starved at school. So we need to find something to help, and we’ve reached a point where I’ve gone from completely against it to let’s start this summer.

 

He also gets upset a lot after school because he wants to go play with a friend and it normally doesn’t work, but it makes more sense to m now. It always happens on days when recess isn’t good, and it’s because it’s the equivalent of not feeding him all day and then refusing to feed him after school. School is over for the summer, so we’ll be better able to help, but I’m scared for next school year.

 

We know A LOT of kids with pretty severe ADHD (that's why they homeschool). Medication has been life-altering for most of them, but it was almost always a process to find the right med and dosage. For some of my friends, it took a few years. I don't say this to discourage but to prepare you. It's a hard road.

 

But also, I've known some of these kids for 5+ years now, and I see a big difference between their elementary-selves and their tween-selves. It really is just like they have a few years delay in maturity, so what you'd normally expect of an 8 year old is what you should expect of an 10-11 year-old with ADHD. (At least that's how a few of the moms have explained it to me.)

 

 

Remember how I said that Luke was so uncooperative at his speech evals that he's probably going to test crazy low?

 

Got the scores today. Communication skills - 1st percentile. Cognitive abilities - .1 percentile (yes...that's a decimal. one-tenth percentile).

 

Apparently my toddler is a vegetable.

Correction. Cognitive abilities was .01 percentile. You would think he should still be hospitalized and drooling on himself from a coma.

 

Who the **** did the test and what test? They can't give you the protocols, but they can show you the protocols. Answering the first question, which is usually as easy as "What is your name" will get you out of the .01. Did they give you the confidence band?

 

Regardless, ANY professional test (WISC, WIAT, WJ, Stanford-Binet, etc) clearly states that if the student is not appropriately cooperating the child SHOULD NOT BE TESTED. This is clearly a misadministration and should NOT be used to write an IEP. Furthermore, there are normed observational scales completed by adults the child frequently interacts with (parents, teachers, specialists, etc) that should have been used and not just your word (which is important too!).

 

Part of your rights in an IEP meeting is agreeing that the testing is thorough and no-further testing is needed. I would need to know a bit more, but just based on what you have said, it seems like they should have given at the least the Vineland.

 

This was for my 3 year-old. Not the older one. So he actually can't/doesn't say his name. Lately though he's been referring to himself and some of his things as "baby" or "baby's", so there's that. And he doesn't have any other teachers or other regular care-givers to offer up observations or opinions. So it is pretty much just my word, and I completely understand why anyone would be hesitant to take just my word about my own kid. I could really hear myself saying "I promise he's not normally like this" as one of those parents who excuses all of their child's behavior in order to cover up permissive parenting or some sort of diagnosis, but really, y'all, he's not normally like that. He's not perfect and he's infinitely more difficult than Noah was (because Noah was and still is a freakily compliant, reasonable, and naturally respectful person...serious freak-of-nature), but we're dealing with typical toddler stuff over here, like hitting when he's upset, spotty (but increasing) compliance and obedience, etc.

 

Tests were done by the school's diagnostician and speech language pathologist. According to the report they gave me, they gave him the Preschool Language Scales - Fifth Edition (PLS-5), Bayley Scales of Infant and Toddler Assessment- Third Edition (Bayley - III), and then I filled out an Adaptive Behavior Assessment System Third Edition (ABAS-3). I didn't get his raw scores, just their report that mentions them. They offered to give us a copy, but I told them not to worry about it since we pretty much all agreed that they weren't accurate anyway.

 

They did attempt to administer the Developmental Indicators for the Assessment of Learning - 4th Edition (DIAL-4), but stopped because he wouldn't do anything but scream and throw things. That's when they decided to have him meet with the school psychologist. He wasn't really any more cooperative with the psychologist until they decided to quit trying to get him to perform and redirected their attention to just having me fill out forms for additional testing. Then Luke calmed down and started being more his normal self just as we were leaving. He actually counted the numbers on the clock and even told everyone goodbye (when before that he wouldn't even acknowledge anyone's presence.)

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Thats a big part of why I want to start soon instead of waiting. I want to give my kid every advantage I can, and his ADHD is disabling enough that he needs more than we can give, and it seems like more than therapy can manage. He needs one-on-one help from the teacher to accomplish anything at school, which is possible, if extremely difficult, in kindergarten because they have a teacher and an aide. Basically hes not on the autism spectrum, but requires the same assistance. We are sending him to a Catholic school, but had an assessment done by the public school district and they had a lot to say about what he cant do.

 

Fortunately our school is awesome, dedicated to students with disabilities, and has the money to help. We are applying for a state scholarship for some of it, but as an example my son will meet with an occupational therapist all summer and the school is paying for it. The same person who has been coming into the school to work with him. Weve seen improvements but in a lot of ways the three year old is ahead of him, which is hard to see.

 

The hardest part for me is accepting that when he says he cant do simple things, it is actually true. Even if hes done it a hundred times before, his attention can be so messed up that he really cant manage it.

 

I was a lot more like you describe Noah, so its especially hard because I cant relate as easily.

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Were leaning towards medication now. The short version is that his ADHD makes it hard for him to pick up on the rules of play, especially when it isnt a set game. He struggles with sticking to the rules but he at least has a basic idea of how to play soccer. But just joining in whatever other kids are doing is really hard. That issue is causing social issues, and hes an extrovert who NEEDS people, so its like hes being emotionally starved at school. So we need to find something to help, and weve reached a point where Ive gone from completely against it to lets start this summer.

 

I read a really fabulous book a few months ago called Parenting Children with ADHD: 10 Lessons that Medication Cannot Teach. The dr is a proponent of medication, he realizes that proper dosing and medication type is key in treatment. But he also had great advice on how to help your child overcome ADHD, or at least manage it well. Some of the advice was actually surprising, but I've implemented some of it anyway and it seems effective. I really don't know if my kids have ADHD (but honestly a little concerned about the older one after reading some of it). My husband was diagnosed as a kid but is in total denial that he is, probably because he's a well-functioning adult professional. But that means our kids have a 57% chance of having it.

 

I'm really hoping my son "just" has ADHD and sensory processing. But I need someone to figure out wtf is wrong soon. He is getting worse and everyone is just pulling out their hair dealing with him. I think I might actually have to take the summer off work.

 

I'm so glad your school is supportive of disabilities. I don't think ours is, unfortunately.

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This was for my 3 year-old. Not the older one. So he actually can't/doesn't say his name. Lately though he's been referring to himself and some of his things as "baby" or "baby's", so there's that. And he doesn't have any other teachers or other regular care-givers to offer up observations or opinions. So it is pretty much just my word, and I completely understand why anyone would be hesitant to take just my word about my own kid. I could really hear myself saying "I promise he's not normally like this" as one of those parents who excuses all of their child's behavior in order to cover up permissive parenting or some sort of diagnosis, but really, y'all, he's not normally like that. He's not perfect and he's infinitely more difficult than Noah was (because Noah was and still is a freakily compliant, reasonable, and naturally respectful person...serious freak-of-nature), but we're dealing with typical toddler stuff over here, like hitting when he's upset, spotty (but increasing) compliance and obedience, etc.

 

 

Tests were done by the school's diagnostician and speech language pathologist. According to the report they gave me, they gave him the Preschool Language Scales - Fifth Edition (PLS-5), Bayley Scales of Infant and Toddler Assessment- Third Edition (Bayley - III), and then I filled out an Adaptive Behavior Assessment System Third Edition (ABAS-3). I didn't get his raw scores, just their report that mentions them. They offered to give us a copy, but I told them not to worry about it since we pretty much all agreed that they weren't accurate anyway.

 

They did attempt to administer the Developmental Indicators for the Assessment of Learning - 4th Edition (DIAL-4), but stopped because he wouldn't do anything but scream and throw things. That's when they decided to have him meet with the school psychologist. He wasn't really any more cooperative with the psychologist until they decided to quit trying to get him to perform and redirected their attention to just having me fill out forms for additional testing. Then Luke calmed down and started being more his normal self just as we were leaving. He actually counted the numbers on the clock and even told everyone goodbye (when before that he wouldn't even acknowledge anyone's presence.)

 

My bad. I thought he was closer to 5.

 

The ABAS is very similar to the Vineland. I know you didn't see the raw scores, but considering what you are seeing at home is not lining up with the other data, the whole value of you taking the survey is to look at those discrepancies and try to ascertain any antecedents. It appears he is getting help, in the end that is all that matters.

 

My background is not in early childhood, but you said it best, is that at the age of three many of these skills are still in various ranges of development and you might just be hitting the perfect storm of behavioral challenges and developmental milestones overlapping.

 

Thats a big part of why I want to start soon instead of waiting. I want to give my kid every advantage I can, and his ADHD is disabling enough that he needs more than we can give, and it seems like more than therapy can manage. He needs one-on-one help from the teacher to accomplish anything at school, which is possible, if extremely difficult, in kindergarten because they have a teacher and an aide. Basically hes not on the autism spectrum, but requires the same assistance. We are sending him to a Catholic school, but had an assessment done by the public school district and they had a lot to say about what he cant do.

 

Fortunately our school is awesome, dedicated to students with disabilities, and has the money to help. We are applying for a state scholarship for some of it, but as an example my son will meet with an occupational therapist all summer and the school is paying for it. The same person who has been coming into the school to work with him. Weve seen improvements but in a lot of ways the three year old is ahead of him, which is hard to see.

 

The hardest part for me is accepting that when he says he cant do simple things, it is actually true. Even if hes done it a hundred times before, his attention can be so messed up that he really cant manage it.

 

I was a lot more like you describe Noah, so its especially hard because I cant relate as easily.

Good for you. A lot of parents want to take the wait and see approach. The sooner with any intervention the better. And if he ends up NOT having those issues in the long run, he received high quality instruction from early on.

 

 

 

Were leaning towards medication now. The short version is that his ADHD makes it hard for him to pick up on the rules of play, especially when it isnt a set game. He struggles with sticking to the rules but he at least has a basic idea of how to play soccer. But just joining in whatever other kids are doing is really hard. That issue is causing social issues, and hes an extrovert who NEEDS people, so its like hes being emotionally starved at school. So we need to find something to help, and weve reached a point where Ive gone from completely against it to lets start this summer.

I read a really fabulous book a few months ago called Parenting Children with ADHD: 10 Lessons that Medication Cannot Teach. The dr is a proponent of medication, he realizes that proper dosing and medication type is key in treatment. But he also had great advice on how to help your child overcome ADHD, or at least manage it well. Some of the advice was actually surprising, but I've implemented some of it anyway and it seems effective. I really don't know if my kids have ADHD (but honestly a little concerned about the older one after reading some of it). My husband was diagnosed as a kid but is in total denial that he is, probably because he's a well-functioning adult professional. But that means our kids have a 57% chance of having it.

 

I'm really hoping my son "just" has ADHD and sensory processing. But I need someone to figure out wtf is wrong soon. He is getting worse and everyone is just pulling out their hair dealing with him. I think I might actually have to take the summer off work.

 

I'm so glad your school is supportive of disabilities. I don't think ours is, unfortunately.

I don't know the book, but from your description I agree! At the end of the day, ADHD IS a physiological issue related to blood flow in the brain, which medication can treat. However, if you had high blood pressure, you would be given medication in addition to other strategies. You don't just get the pill and say "all better". I am frustrated with parents that say, "medication didn't help", but at the same expect their son (and I say son on purpose because most individuals with ADHD and most learning differences are males) to be a perfect angel when they have never learned or practiced behavior and discipline routines. Of course they will be behind other students using these skills. Just like blood pressure medication, you have to consistently improve your diet, exercise, and get enough sleep and after months your blood pressure may get closer to the average range. This takes discipline. ADHD medication is not a magic bullet.
Don't get frustrated that not all strategies work (I am not saying you are). I think often times people forget, including educational professionals, that each child brings his/her own experiences, strengths, interests, home and school dynamics, and physiology to the table. What works for one may not work for another...despite all of the well-meaning advice that is given.
On the first page on the far left column towards the bottom are physical influences. Untreated ADHD is the #1 negative impact on student achievement.
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As a few of you know, I was concerned about ADHD with my kid for quite awhile when he was younger. We did a bit of testing, but his mom was so anti-medication we didn't do anything drastic. We tried to focus on sugar intake, and helping him study. I didn't want to do "wait and see" but his grades and behavior flip flopped so much, there wasn't a lot of evidence to intercede in a big way.

 

I was ready to fight when he went into middle school, assuming it was going to be a disaster, but it turns out that switching classes/subjects every 45 minutes was great for him-- that and California seems to have figured out you give boys gym first period and it takes the edge off.

 

He's done decent through middle school. We dont put too much pressure on his grades, because I know what it's like to grow up creative and not academic. His grades still flop flip. Since about 4th grade he starts average, second quarter he dips, third he rallies from getting scared by low grades and gets top scores, then he finishes the year average.

 

He's ending middle school with mostly Bs, a couple Cs, an A, and a D in English. The D, and the Cs, are fully due to him forgetting to turn work in on time, and not being great at tests.

 

If he has one issue, it's that since trying to get him to nap at the age of 2, he has always been bull-headed about doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it. He just doesnt study for tests. He says he does, but that amounts to him reviewing the material once... and that's it. The school gave him an English intervention class (basically a second English class) to help him make sure he's ready for high school.

 

I'm still pretty sure he has some minor ADHD, but he's chilled so much as he's gotten older, and again, every time it seems like he's in trouble and needs help, he rallies and does great.

 

He starts high school in the fall and we have a tutor lined up that specializes in teaching study and testing habits. I remember being his age and struggling to read books in English class, yet I'd go home and devour Stephen King novels. If he wanted to be an artist I wouldnt be super worried about his grades.

 

The problem is, despite obviously having the disposition of a creative, he really wants to be engineer/rocket scientist. So if his grades don't get stellar in high school that's not going to happen.

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As a few of you know, I was concerned about ADHD with my kid for quite awhile when he was younger. We did a bit of testing, but his mom was so anti-medication we didn't do anything drastic. We tried to focus on sugar intake, and helping him study. I didn't want to do "wait and see" but his grades and behavior flip flopped so much, there wasn't a lot of evidence to intercede in a big way.

 

I was ready to fight when he went into middle school, assuming it was going to be a disaster, but it turns out that switching classes/subjects every 45 minutes was great for him-- that and California seems to have figured out you give boys gym first period and it takes the edge off.

 

He's done decent through middle school. We dont put too much pressure on his grades, because I know what it's like to grow up creative and not academic. His grades still flop flip. Since about 4th grade he starts average, second quarter he dips, third he rallies from getting scared by low grades and gets top scores, then he finishes the year average.

 

He's ending middle school with mostly Bs, a couple Cs, an A, and a D in English. The D, and the Cs, are fully due to him forgetting to turn work in on time, and not being great at tests.

 

If he has one issue, it's that since trying to get him to nap at the age of 2, he has always been bull-headed about doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it. He just doesnt study for tests. He says he does, but that amounts to him reviewing the material once... and that's it. The school gave him an English intervention class (basically a second English class) to help him make sure he's ready for high school.

 

I'm still pretty sure he has some minor ADHD, but he's chilled so much as he's gotten older, and again, every time it seems like he's in trouble and needs help, he rallies and does great.

 

He starts high school in the fall and we have a tutor lined up that specializes in teaching study and testing habits. I remember being his age and struggling to read books in English class, yet I'd go home and devour Stephen King novels. If he wanted to be an artist I wouldnt be super worried about his grades.

 

The problem is, despite obviously having the disposition of a creative, he really wants to be engineer/rocket scientist. So if his grades don't get stellar in high school that's not going to happen.

ADHD is a physiological condition and it is somewhat common for symptoms to decrease. Generally what happens is that the hyperactivity dramatically decreases (becoming ADhD) at puberty. However, the inattention is still present through adulthood. Parents see the hyperactivity decrease so they believe the inattention is behavioral and the ADHD went away, when it is just the ADhD manifesting in a different form. The now teenager not only still has ADHD but also is likely multiple years behind in school. This leads to depression, high anxiety, etc. Students with ADHD who are smart and can rally generally lose this ability in high school when the workload increases.

 

ADHD medication increases the blood flow in the brain. This is how caffeine works. This is also why caffeine actually calms children with ADHD...blood is flowing better which decreases the hyperactivity in different regions of the brain. Children with untreated ADHD are more likely to abuse drugs than their peers because this a form of self-medicating.

 

https://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/adhd/untreated-adhd-lifelong-risks/

 

https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/

 

https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/risks-of-untreated-adhd#1

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I'm also trying to convince my husband to get tested for adult ADD to see if we can start some sort of medication/therapy combo for him. It's been holding him back his entire life, and he just does. not. see it. As a kid, they chalked it all up to behavioral issues stemming from frequent moves (Army brat) and then his brother dying and then single mom stuff, but he's almost 40 now, and I need him to be able to focus and prioritize.

 

Of course, I'm also trying to get him to have a vasectomy as well.

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I'm also trying to convince my husband to get tested for adult ADD to see if we can start some sort of medication/therapy combo for him. It's been holding him back his entire life, and he just does. not. see it. As a kid, they chalked it all up to behavioral issues stemming from frequent moves (Army brat) and then his brother dying and then single mom stuff, but he's almost 40 now, and I need him to be able to focus and prioritize.

 

Of course, I'm also trying to get him to have a vasectomy as well.

 

 

Since the DSM-V update, hyperactivity has been differentiated from the rest of the ADHD diagnosis.

 

https://images.pearsonclinical.com/images/assets/basc-3/basc3resources/DSM5_DiagnosticCriteria_ADHD.pdf

 

Often times people will say, I have those issues, and I do fine. But if the conditions actually impact an individual's life to such a negative extent that they are impacting relationships, work, school, etc then you should get checked out.

 

Everyone gets depressed from time to time. However, most people have functioning neurotransmitters and eventually are able to move on with their lives. Some people's neurotransmitters do not work and require medication to help. ADHD is the same.

 

I can't speak on vasectomies. But for shits I looks up ADHD vasectomy and this came up...

 

https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=79562

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As a few of you know, I was concerned about ADHD with my kid for quite awhile when he was younger. We did a bit of testing, but his mom was so anti-medication we didn't do anything drastic. We tried to focus on sugar intake, and helping him study. I didn't want to do "wait and see" but his grades and behavior flip flopped so much, there wasn't a lot of evidence to intercede in a big way.

 

I was ready to fight when he went into middle school, assuming it was going to be a disaster, but it turns out that switching classes/subjects every 45 minutes was great for him-- that and California seems to have figured out you give boys gym first period and it takes the edge off.

 

He's done decent through middle school. We dont put too much pressure on his grades, because I know what it's like to grow up creative and not academic. His grades still flop flip. Since about 4th grade he starts average, second quarter he dips, third he rallies from getting scared by low grades and gets top scores, then he finishes the year average.

 

He's ending middle school with mostly Bs, a couple Cs, an A, and a D in English. The D, and the Cs, are fully due to him forgetting to turn work in on time, and not being great at tests.

 

If he has one issue, it's that since trying to get him to nap at the age of 2, he has always been bull-headed about doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it. He just doesnt study for tests. He says he does, but that amounts to him reviewing the material once... and that's it. The school gave him an English intervention class (basically a second English class) to help him make sure he's ready for high school.

 

I'm still pretty sure he has some minor ADHD, but he's chilled so much as he's gotten older, and again, every time it seems like he's in trouble and needs help, he rallies and does great.

 

He starts high school in the fall and we have a tutor lined up that specializes in teaching study and testing habits. I remember being his age and struggling to read books in English class, yet I'd go home and devour Stephen King novels. If he wanted to be an artist I wouldnt be super worried about his grades.

 

The problem is, despite obviously having the disposition of a creative, he really wants to be engineer/rocket scientist. So if his grades don't get stellar in high school that's not going to happen.

ADHD is a physiological condition and it is somewhat common for symptoms to decrease. Generally what happens is that the hyperactivity dramatically decreases (becoming ADhD) at puberty. However, the inattention is still present through adulthood. Parents see the hyperactivity decrease so they believe the inattention is behavioral and the ADHD went away, when it is just the ADhD manifesting in a different form. The now teenager not only still has ADHD but also is likely multiple years behind in school. This leads to depression, high anxiety, etc. Students with ADHD who are smart and can rally generally lose this ability in high school when the workload increases.

 

ADHD medication increases the blood flow in the brain. This is how caffeine works. This is also why caffeine actually calms children with ADHD...blood is flowing better which decreases the hyperactivity in different regions of the brain. Children with untreated ADHD are more likely to abuse drugs than their peers because this a form of self-medicating.

 

https://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/adhd/untreated-adhd-lifelong-risks/

 

https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/

 

https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/risks-of-untreated-adhd#1

 

So what you're saying is, getting him into drinking coffee ASAP?

 

I've told his mom that if the testing tutor doesn't help, we're getting tested and doing something. It's the one fight we had this year. She's just convinced medicating him is going to do more harm than good.

 

It's just so hard to tell given how much his grades vary. He's going into AP history and science, could have gone to AP math but chose not to, and is just scraping by in English, which again, is almost entirely due to him turning work in late. The work itself is fine, he just gets graded down for lateness.

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We're trying some non-medication therapies and I wanted to do that before we went with medication. But some of the findings basically said that he's withdrawn and is at risk for depression, and the therapy isn't helping him enough. Maybe a combination will help him enough to get off medicine in the future, but right now he doesn't have the skills to manage and he doesn't have the ability to learn them.

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We give Luke Dr Pepper when we need him to be calm for a while. Took him to see Endgame at 10PM and gave him a Dr P. I think the people sitting behind us thought we were cracked (the rest of us had waters). He sat on my lap for over 3.5 hours and watched the movie. He never stops moving otherwise.

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One of the key takeaways from the ADHD book was diet. Kids with ADHD tend to not eat very well during the day, apparently. Dr recommended protein for breakfast and lunch for better brain function. My daughter tends to eat toast or a mini bagel in the morning, which I've maintained isn't enough. So now I make her drink some chocolate kids protein shake every morning in addition to her bagel. I think its helping, and now she reminds if she doesn't get some sort of protein in the morning, so I think she realizes it helps, too. I wish she didn't hate eggs lol.

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As a few of you know, I was concerned about ADHD with my kid for quite awhile when he was younger. We did a bit of testing, but his mom was so anti-medication we didn't do anything drastic. We tried to focus on sugar intake, and helping him study. I didn't want to do "wait and see" but his grades and behavior flip flopped so much, there wasn't a lot of evidence to intercede in a big way.

 

I was ready to fight when he went into middle school, assuming it was going to be a disaster, but it turns out that switching classes/subjects every 45 minutes was great for him-- that and California seems to have figured out you give boys gym first period and it takes the edge off.

 

He's done decent through middle school. We dont put too much pressure on his grades, because I know what it's like to grow up creative and not academic. His grades still flop flip. Since about 4th grade he starts average, second quarter he dips, third he rallies from getting scared by low grades and gets top scores, then he finishes the year average.

 

He's ending middle school with mostly Bs, a couple Cs, an A, and a D in English. The D, and the Cs, are fully due to him forgetting to turn work in on time, and not being great at tests.

 

If he has one issue, it's that since trying to get him to nap at the age of 2, he has always been bull-headed about doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it. He just doesnt study for tests. He says he does, but that amounts to him reviewing the material once... and that's it. The school gave him an English intervention class (basically a second English class) to help him make sure he's ready for high school.

 

I'm still pretty sure he has some minor ADHD, but he's chilled so much as he's gotten older, and again, every time it seems like he's in trouble and needs help, he rallies and does great.

 

He starts high school in the fall and we have a tutor lined up that specializes in teaching study and testing habits. I remember being his age and struggling to read books in English class, yet I'd go home and devour Stephen King novels. If he wanted to be an artist I wouldnt be super worried about his grades.

 

The problem is, despite obviously having the disposition of a creative, he really wants to be engineer/rocket scientist. So if his grades don't get stellar in high school that's not going to happen.

ADHD is a physiological condition and it is somewhat common for symptoms to decrease. Generally what happens is that the hyperactivity dramatically decreases (becoming ADhD) at puberty. However, the inattention is still present through adulthood. Parents see the hyperactivity decrease so they believe the inattention is behavioral and the ADHD went away, when it is just the ADhD manifesting in a different form. The now teenager not only still has ADHD but also is likely multiple years behind in school. This leads to depression, high anxiety, etc. Students with ADHD who are smart and can rally generally lose this ability in high school when the workload increases.

 

ADHD medication increases the blood flow in the brain. This is how caffeine works. This is also why caffeine actually calms children with ADHD...blood is flowing better which decreases the hyperactivity in different regions of the brain. Children with untreated ADHD are more likely to abuse drugs than their peers because this a form of self-medicating.

 

https://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/adhd/untreated-adhd-lifelong-risks/

 

https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/

 

https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/risks-of-untreated-adhd#1

 

So what you're saying is, getting him into drinking coffee ASAP?

 

I've told his mom that if the testing tutor doesn't help, we're getting tested and doing something. It's the one fight we had this year. She's just convinced medicating him is going to do more harm than good.

 

It's just so hard to tell given how much his grades vary. He's going into AP history and science, could have gone to AP math but chose not to, and is just scraping by in English, which again, is almost entirely due to him turning work in late. The work itself is fine, he just gets graded down for lateness.

 

I would try it out. The dosage is very low.

 

Keep in mind, people people react to different things. Just to be clear, what I mean by increased blood flow is actually meant as increasing or decreasing a specific neurotransmitters. Caffeine actually decreases some neurotransmitters. Adderall, the primary medication for the treatment of ADHD, increases this flow of dopamine causing the brain to work effectively. You have to figure ourt the composition to get the child's brain balanced. This is why some medication could have little or even a negative response and you shouldn't give up because Adderall .

 

Regardless, what does she fear might happen and how is that worse that the effects of significant ADHD? I know Adderall has side effects, but I would at least be open to it.

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Tank, I'm wondering as middle school teacher if O is not liking English enough to be interested in doing the assignments which is why they were late. I mean History is basically reading stuff that happened and writing answers to questions but some kids find it more interesting than say reading Shakespeare aloud and then answering some questions about it. I struggled in English too but mostly because I didn't read the books because I was too interested in the other stuff I had for homework. I loved biology and science homework and history and art. My Mom was super hands off. As long as I was doing some homework she didn't care. So I always did the homework in subjects I liked more first and by the time it came to reading an English assignment I would fall asleep and try and catch up on the bus to school or ask friends what happened in the book. We read Lord of the Flies in English in 8th Grade and that six weeks I got the best grade ever because I loved that book, but Flowers for Algernon? That one I cribbed C- all the way.

 

Honestly I don't like medication myself. I'm doing everything I can so I don't have to do cholesterol meds right now. But sometimes it does help. Ender is so much better at writing than me so I'm glad he responded to you guys. I'm studying for my Masters in math ed. and I think that sometimes ADHD prognosis-es are handed out like candy because we want an easy answer. But a lot of times kids are growing and they are reacting to things we don't even think about because we base the kids experiences on our own previous experiences from a long time ago back when there was no cell phones or computers in class or constant testing. Kids bodies are changing quickly and hormones can impact things as well as pain from bones growing faster than they're ready for. Most of my kids are boys this year and in the fifth grade you can't teach a class without the constant shuffling sound of boys just moving all the time even when they're sitting.

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My husband claims the ADHD medication made him "fuzzy". He said he could definitely focus more but he didn't like how it made him feel. My husband was a really gifted athlete as a kid and I think that was do much of his identity that he feared not being able to compete at such a high level with that fuzziness. At that age he was playing 3 age groups up in soccer (a 9-year old playing U12). As an adult he is annoyingly in touch with his body. Every ache and pain and gas bubble is super distracting and makes him irritable and unable to focus on anything else other than how uncomfortable he is. He's almost 40, so as you can imagine, this is fairly frequent.

 

When I brought this up to his mom last week, she told me that he didn't want to be on the meds because the doctor told him he might grow boobs. Sigh.

 

Now I believe there are 3 different classes of ADHD medication, and they work differently depending on what your specific neurotransmitter issue is. And I believe 2 of them are actually stimulants, which seems counterproductive, but like Ender said, actually make your brain function better for that particular issue. (Also why a lot of kids don't eat well until dinnertime when it wears off.)

 

Tank, I wish you all the luck on this one. If our kids have it, it's going to be an uphill battle with my husband, too. I think my daughter might be able to do without (I'm actually suspecting dyslexia more than ADHD), but my son is so unable to focus on anything that I really think we are going to have to medicate him, and I hate it.

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Meds are changing from what we may have had prescribed back in the 90s or even 80s. Even so. when I have one on ones with parents and the school psychologist about a student it is often about structure at home (rigid structure in school but it's a free for all without any kind of structure at home) we have to take a different approach in low income schools. I often advocate for a change in class (maybe moving schools within the school district) or checking for health issues not related to actual health but maybe checking for eyesight, hearing or diabetes as this factors hugely in the development. Diabetes really affects kids. Eating habits. Home situations. And by the time parents get to me they're tired because I teach middle school level and they've been dealing with this for a really long time.

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Last Night in My House

 

SARA

Its so hot in our bedroom. We need a fan or something. Ugh.

 

ROBIN

I can open the window.

 

SARA

Then it will be too cold in the middle of the night.

 

[sara lays down in bed next to Robin.]

 

SARA

Oh my god!

 

ROBIN

What?

 

SARA

You feel so hot.

 

ROBIN

Its my burning passion for you.

 

SARA

Well you can just flame off, I am too hot.

 

[in Robins mind he hears a reverberating wah-wah-wah-wah.]

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I grew up in a house without ceiling fans or air conditioning. Heck, my bedroom didn't even have heat.

 

I did have two windows, so in the summer I had two window fans going, one in and one out. In the winter, I slept in a sleeping bag under my blanket.

 

I was an adult before I realized any of this was unusual, because it wasn't unusual where I grew up.

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https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/children-should-not-breathe-through-their-mouths-not-while-awake-not-while-asleep-never/

 

So I was talking about this with a good friend the other day, then another acquaintance posted this article on FB stating that her kid went through this same thing. My good friend's son had these issues (from the article) until she had his tonsils and adenoids removed last year and the change has been quite remarkable. She was considering having him tested for autism and ADHD and SPD and all of that. Now, he's like a different kid. So I do know this is not total nonsense.

 

I'm now considering taking Luke to an ENT. Hell, I should take Trevor as well. They're both heavy mouth-breathers.

 

Anyway, since we're all collectively looking for answers for our kiddos, I figure an extra trip to an ENT and sleep doctor can't hurt.

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We hoped that was the answer when my son started having symptoms that made school awful. We had always had issues with him, but the school stuff didn't start until kindergarten. No clue why, because the same therapists from our school observed his preschool.

 

But, yeah, my understanding is that sleep issues can really seem like ADHD, and it's good to rule that out.

 

Does he seem tired during the day?

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