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Say Something Random II - Eclectic Depression


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We're having a girl.

My big stressor is gone. I had applied for a job that I completely forgot about. They called me this week, I did a phone interview and got to meet with the hiring managers today. After the intervie

Speaking of love threads, I'm getting married on Saturday!

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Any of you guys ever have a job where you love the work you do and almost everyone you work with, but hate your boss with a burning passion? That was my past year.

 

Then I put in my two weeks notice and skipped around without a care for transitioning my work. Felt good!

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Dear Hips,

 

Look, I know we've been doing 40 squats a night (and 40 clamshells, and 40 donkey kicks, and 20 bridges, and 20 fire hydrants...), but I just bought these jeans on New Years Day - not even two full months ago. And I don't have an income right now. So must we require a new wardrobe every 7 weeks? Really? Even at thrift prices that's kind of extreme, you have to admit.

 

Love,

 

Me

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Well, I was wondering when my mental health would take a nosedive. The answer was yesterday afternoon. Anxiety spiraling is so much fun.

 

And I'm STILL sitting at my old work desk, listening to everyone laugh and carry on about their jobs that they get to keep...

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I was issued a letter saying that to get my severance package, I had to stay until the 22nd (yes, today, this is my last day), so I've been gutsing it out.

 

But then I learned yesterday that my "severance package" is basically just a vacation payout. No actual severance pay. And they're required by law to give that to me regardless of when my last day is... despite my boss saying that it's apparently company policy that they don't pay out vacation days, hence framing this as "severance". Manipulation level 100.

 

Boy, am I glad to be getting away from this company.

 

That all being said, I ditched at 1pm yesterday, went home, and managed to smoke enough weed to clear out the anxiety. I'm back today in a dress I bought a month ago in a size too small thinking that I wouldn't be wearing it until next fall but turns out it fits me right now, getting ready to do nothing but eat cake for breakfast, and multiple lunches, and get blitzed on a $25 gift card I won in an instagram contest at a distillery once I've said all my goodbyes.

 

Not like the period of unemployment and job search I'm on the brink of facing won't lead to more anxiety spirals, but at least I'm walking into my last day here like the boss bitch I am.

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Well now I've had 2 doctors, a special education specialist, and a speech therapist tell me that my 3 year-old is showing signs of autism. Last year, after the first doctor, we took him to a neurologist who said that he's not. Now we're being told to come speak to a psychologist and possibly see the neurologist again. All because this kid is wholly uncooperative at various appointments. And he doesn't speak clearly. I may have to take up drinking.

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One of my oldest, best friends from Arizona moved to Tennessee around a decade ago, so I haven't seen him in that long. He's been back to AZ a few times to visit family, but it's never been a time when I've been able to come too--usually too short notice. So he tells me he'll be there sometime in June. But he can't tell me when. So I can't exactly plan a trip. He's one of those people that never has his shit together until the last minute, but I can't exactly plan for a family trip with approved PTO based on "I think the first two weeks of June maybe." Irritating as hell.

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That's super frustrating. It's hard enough to make plans on the fly for a single evening.

 

I've been super sick with the flu for a few days. I was so sick on Thursday that I spent all day at the ER, and narrowly avoided being admitted. It's been hell. Going from freezing to sweating in half a second, every muscle in my body hurts, and (disgusting) I vomited so hard that it ripped up my throat and I have been bleeding in my throat.

 

I hate everything.

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But Tamiflu really helped me. All those symptoms except the barfing happened to me but I was over it sooner. I had the flu shot because I work in a school district but clearly the virus that felled me was not one of the ones given to me. That first day when it hit out of the blue, I thought I was going to die. I couldn't even drive home. The only reason I did Tamiflu is because I'm around people with low immunity. I had to wear a mask too. I was out four days from school.

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Yeah, Tamiflu is great when you realize you have the flu early enough. I've used it twice: once with the swine flu and once with the (regular?) flu. Both times, it definitely helped speed recovery. The swine flu almost put me in the hospital, but fortunately my mother was able to get my temperature down to a reasonable level after calling the emergency help line. My mom and dad got precautionary Tamiflu doses because of their exposure to me, but it either didn't end up being necessary or it helped them fight off the flu to the extent that they didn't get hit much by it at all.

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Guest El Chalupacabra

So my Dad is still in a rehab hospital. He is able to walk short distances, but still has a feed tube in his stomach and can't stand up unassisted. This week will be his 3rd week, and medicare may not renew rehab for a 4th, though I hope they do. But the bad news is I think his mind is going, and I am 90% sure no matter how long he is at rehab, he isn't going to get to go home, since he lives alone. Which means on his budget, he is going to a group home. I've been visiting a few a social worker is helping me find on my Dad's budget, but holy crap are some of them terrible. I love my Dad very much, but part of me wishes he went into hospice back in December. And I feel guilty as eff for thinking that way. :(

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Chalupa, this is so hard. My parents struggled with this when my Dad's parents declined. My step-mom's parents died while she was still young of complications of Parkinson's and were well enough financially to make some major life decisions before it was left to their children to decide. Not everyone is as lucky as my Step-mom's parents to have financial means to help pay for the help and health care they needed when they went into a special nursing home (It was like a small mini apartment with a kitchenette, two bedrooms and a living room and had cleaning services and nurses who could come in and help them daily and they could opt for the meal service the home offered so they went down daily for meals instead of cooking).

 

My Dad's parents weren't that financially secure and when they died nothing was left of theirs to even give to the kids. My Dad was adamant keeping his parents in their own home because his Mom had Alzheimers as well as a host of other issues. It was better to keep her in her own home as long as possible. They literally put an ad in a paper advertising for a lady to cook, clean and look after them during the day and late at night for $8.00 and hour. She would get a stipend to buy groceries and things that were needed and some car allowance. And my parents would come up on their off days and stay doing all the work. My Dad's Mom passed away in her sleep one night. His Dad was able to live another year almost but he went with complicates of Parkinsons. Those ladies were a godsend for my Dad. They could make a lot with a little and loved the fact that their kids could get off the bus at my grandparents house and stay while they waited for someone to come in for the evening. The kids and my grandpa loved being together. It made him happy.

 

I would recommend if your Dad served you check with some veterans groups. Sometimes they can help you find someone who can help or help get your Dad some help with a place that is nicer that works with your budget. This is a stressful time for you and your Dad so I am sending good jujus!

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