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Say Something Random II - Eclectic Depression


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The school stuff started in Pre-K, no (big) issues until this year. His teachers always thought he was a great kid until then. Biggest problem in Preschool was potty training, but the teacher just kept him on a schedule and that was just too much for the Pre-K teachers to remember. He's never been a biter, grabber, or hitter. He's never been aggressive at home, either.

 

We've noticed a 2pm breakdown every day. He doesn't nap, and he definitely doesn't get what I think is enough night sleep for his age.

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Have you noticed if he ever stops breathing in his sleep? I’ve had two friends need to have tonsils nd adenoids removed and they both noticed that as an issue.

 

It’s definitely worth looking into since it can be a quicker answer to behavioral issues.

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The recent turn in this conversation is really making me think I need to have Logan and I tested for sleep abnormalities. We both are total mouth breathers with heavy insomnia problems.

 

Edit: Not that this wasn't a thought before as some of you know I have already had the desire to do a sleep study, this just reinforces it.

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After losing 40 pounds I stopped snoring and sleeping better and it changed my brain-working significantly. I'm getting my sinuses rooted out next month, hoping that turns out to be a life-changer as well.

 

Back to the kid-- he rallied in the last week of school, did some extra credit, asked to retake a couple tests and managed to pull his English D up to a C in the zero hour. As of about 20 minutes ago, he is bound for high school.

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I need to lose plenty of weight for many reasons, but my snoring is definitely one of them. In the mean time, I am trying all sorts of things to reduce the snoring, which definitely comes primarily from the throat, though I know my nose often being clogged from allergies doesn't help. To this end, I just bought a didgeridoo to start trying to play. Even if it only helps a little, I know it will be welcomed. Plus, it is interesting to play.

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Good luck with your procedure Seth! It's amazing what does help when you actually start to pinpoint what is wrong and work at getting it sorted.

 

Didgeridoo's are really cool, I didn't know they'd have secondary properties that would be helpful for this. I hope you find relief Jacen.

 

I wish my issue was simple. I am actually at face value extremely healthy and don't have any weight problems currently because I work out like twice a day to keep my pain at bay. I did lose about 60lbs after I started therapy for my condition so I've been heavy but since I've had insomnia pretty much my whole life it only made a mild impact to drop the weight. Once I get settled at our new place I'll start insisting on checking for other causes cause I think if I could get handle on the sleep thing for both me and the boy our long term outlook would improve dramatically.

 

One thing I feel for you guys talking about the weight aspect that really depresses me is many of my doctors were really insistent if I just lost the weight all my problems would be over. It's kind of sad how often this isn't the case and you have other things wrong with you and they just won't look past that. I don't want to discourage anyone from getting to a healthy weight but stand your ground if you think they are making too big of a deal out of that and you feel like there's something more to it. Usually there is.

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Any of you guys ever deal with impostor syndrome at work (or anywhere else I guess)? I've been in my current position for over a year, and sometimes I still don't know how I got here. A lot of the time I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, and any minute now they're going to figure it out. Today in a meeting, one of the people a level above me announced she's transitioning to another department, so we're gonna have to take over some of her tasks soon--some of which I was called out in the meeting as having the most experience on. Really felt put on the spot and goddamn, that was scary. I mean good too, cuz I'd definitely like to learn more and move up, but then sometimes I feel like I can barely can't to five without using both hands.

 

Got a little rambly there, sorry about that. Just hoping it's not just me that gets this way, I guess.

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I have no clue who thought I could deal with any of this stuff. Work, kids, marriage - it's like somebody decided I could be an adult but they didn't actually check to see if I could do it.

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Any of you guys ever deal with impostor syndrome at work (or anywhere else I guess)? I've been in my current position for over a year, and sometimes I still don't know how I got here. A lot of the time I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, and any minute now they're going to figure it out. Today in a meeting, one of the people a level above me announced she's transitioning to another department, so we're gonna have to take over some of her tasks soon--some of which I was called out in the meeting as having the most experience on. Really felt put on the spot and goddamn, that was scary. I mean good too, cuz I'd definitely like to learn more and move up, but then sometimes I feel like I can barely can't to five without using both hands.

 

Got a little rambly there, sorry about that. Just hoping it's not just me that gets this way, I guess.

That's me all over. Pretty much every shift it feels like I'm making things up as I go along using half-understood procedures, copying what I think I've seen others do and just plain winging it every other time. It kinda helps that I'm a lone worker and I'm in a position where my word essentially is law when I'm on shift, but I'm terrified that something is going to happen and I'm going to fuck up and not do what I'm supposed to do/do something I'm not supposed to, and management are going to realise just how under- qualified, under-trained and unprepared I really am to do this job. It also helps that very little actually happens here day-to-day, but I also don't have anyone I can fall back on for advice or backup. I'm also very well paid for the job I actually do, which makes it even worse. I'm way overpaid for what I actually do, but underpaid when it comes to my actual responsibilities. It's a very weird situation that I know will end some day and I have zero idea how I'll cope if/when it does end.

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I don't know a single person who does have it to some degree except for narcissists or complete screw-offs.

 

What actually surprised me is that I am an expert in my field, and I really do know a lot, but it still seems like I don't know enough. But pretty much every question I've had to pass along at my current job has taken Legal weeks to answer.

 

I really think that social media is part of it. It's trained us to think we're inferior.

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It adds a lot of fuel, though, and is something that previous generations didn't have to deal with.

 

I finally deleted my Twitter account. All it was doing was making me dislike people I would otherwise like. Well, that and reminding me that people are terrible.

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It actually got to the point where I found myself thinking that the only people I don't hate are on Nightly, so why not just use that

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Some days I feel the imposter syndrome poster child and other days I'm not sure why nobody has handed me the keys to the world. There doesn't seem to be much in-between. I'm either overly confident and perfectionistic about taking on a new project, or I'm convinced that I couldn't even Google my way out of a cardboard box.

 

Last summer, I volunteered to plan Noah's Cub Scout Blue & Gold banquet for the pack. The B&G banquet is in February, and I spent most of the fall and winter planning this thing. And I wouldn't tell a soul (aside from Trevor and my mom and sister) any details about it. I refused all help. Then 2 days before the banquet, I had a HUGE breakdown because I was convinced that the entire thing was going down in flames. I'd overextended myself, which happens when you don't let anyone help in any capacity. I cried. Trevor called some of our friends. They came over and helped put together the last bits of decorations and projects. It was the best B&G we've had since we joined the pack. I'm talking a HUGE hit. If I'm being honest, party planning is one of my biggest talents. It hits on all of my natural aptitudes.

A few weeks before this giant meltdown (when things were still smooth sailing in the planning stages), my cousin asked me to host her bridal shower. I panicked and forced my sister to agree to help me because I wasn't sure I could pull it off well. I made her practically hold my hand through the entire thing.

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I deal with Imposter Syndrome at work. Part of it is engineers are some of the biggest narcissists ever, and I actually do work with some pretty smart people. But they also do some really dumb crap, too. I realized that someone who went out of his way to torpedo my career actually did it because he has terrible Imposter Syndrome and saw me as a threat. Guy just retired, thank God, so hopefully I can show everyone that he was just a scared little jerk.

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I definitely dealt with impostor syndrome pretty routinely for the first few years of my job. It didn't help that I was easily the youngest faculty member in the department by many years, younger than my first few graduate students, and halfway across the country from my friends and family. It sort of just gradually went away for me as I came to realize that I really did know my stuff and that my senior colleagues recognized that, too. Even then, though, it took awhile for me to actually accept that I can back up what they were saying about me. It still pops up from time to time with me, mainly when I go to some small conferences/workshops where other attendees work at really famous schools and I end up feeling a little out of place at times.

 

The biggest challenge I face with it now is seeing my fiancee dealing with it since she became a faculty member a few years after me. On the one hand, it's nice that I went through it myself, too, so I can really empathize with her about it and tell her what helped me. On the other hand, though, it feels so much tougher now because I can see how great she is doing and there is only so much I can do to help her realize it and that most people in academia deal with it (and clearly many people outside of it, too!).

 

I'm sorry that so many of us have to go through it.

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