RelentlessMalice Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 My wife has friends who I cannot stand. She loves doing things with them. She expects me to do things with them and I hate it. 1. They are annoying! They never shut up and will never leave. They could talk all night blah blah. They don't get the hint! 2. They have two weird kids who I'm supposed to introduce to star wars and watch all of them with them. That is not my job! 3. They sort of invite themselves to shit they were not invited to. Example I ran a 5k a few weeks ago and who showed up and ended up going to dinner etc... them. I have hinted to my wife that if you want to be friends with them then fine but I don't want to hang around them. I'm at my breaking point! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Krawlie Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 You've hinted to your wife. Just tell her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RelentlessMalice Posted December 26, 2013 Author Share Posted December 26, 2013 Well if she hasn't gotten the hint that everytime I know they are around I mysteriously vanish or get a phantom cough or headache then I don't know what else to do. So right now I'm showing the phantom menace hoping the kids hate it which could be a possibility and I've cranked the surround system to annoy my wife. I literally hope I blow a speaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Spam Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 I solved that problem. I am single! BAM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Driver Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Yeah, if the love of your life requires you to drop hints and be passive aggressive there's bigger problems. I mean I get it, it took me awhile to tellMy gf I didn't like one of her besties-- but we saw the dude maybe once every couple months so it wasn't a big deal. But if it gets to the point they are in your life constantly, the relationship should be strong enough to tell her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Indymion Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Time to lay down some truth, my friend! Just up and tell her you don't like to spend time with them. She should understand and that way she can make excuses for you. That or you can try a few other things when they show up, like start mentioning how you seem to have gotten some strange rash from someone at work and it appears to be contagious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Accept that your wife has horrible taste in people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Well if she hasn't gotten the hint that everytime I know they are around I mysteriously vanish or get a phantom cough or headache then I don't know what else to do. This behavior from my second ex bothers the **** out of me. I don't like having to watch people I'm close to for "hints". I expect to be told, if they speak English, about things I do or participate in that bother me. Just TELL her. The friends likely DO get your hints-they just ignore them because they're her friends, not yours, and they take their social cues from her. You shouldn't be expected to like all your spouse's friends, and IMHO, after a certain amount of time and trial, you shouldn't be made to hang with them at all if you don't want to. Tell her you have no problem with HER being friends with these people but that you will not be hanging out with them at all any longer because you simply don't enjoy their company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evolence Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 You need to lay down the law and explain how the marriage is supposed to work. No outside friends. No time spent doing anything other than serving your needs and responding to your every beck and call. If she is not amenable to these perfectly reasonable expectations, I'm afraid a divorce lawyer may be your next best option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RelentlessMalice Posted December 27, 2013 Author Share Posted December 27, 2013 That is a bit extreme. I just need these folks in small doses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odine Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 You should be able to tell your significant other that his/her friends suck and you don't like them and don't want to spend ANY time with them. And you should expect or be cool with the same in return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Skywalker Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Some people just like their friends and only their friends. Out of those of you who have met me, how many of you have met my husband? Probably half. When Mara comes into town or I go back to Florida, I usually hang out with her by myself. It's not that my husband doesn't like her, she's just my friend, not his, so he'd rather not tag along. Sometimes it's nice because then I don't have to worry about keeping him happy. But when we hang out with his friends, I usually come along. My comfort zone is bigger than his, simple as that. (Ok, and I think he has some legit social anxiety. But because I'm starting to recognize that I don't push him, either.) I can tell you that if a friend does legitimately bother one of us, we usually end up drifting from that friend. A few of his friends have really pissed me off (not talking once or twice, we're talking consistently), and my husband decided he liked me better than them, end of story. He's not unfriendly and didn't make a big deal of it, he just stopped making the effort. In college, my husband really didn't like my sorority big sister, and when I talked to him about it, he said it was because she used me whenever she needed something (a place to stay, a ride, etc). Of course, I denied it at first, and then over a period of a year or two, I realized he was right. I bend over backwards for friends, and he saw that she took advantage of it too much, and it wasn't right. Once I started establishing boundaries, she got mad and stopped calling me. (It probably didn't help that I decided the time to stand up to her was her wedding, and she thought she was Princess Big Effing Deal.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RelentlessMalice Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 Example why they are annoying. My wife for her birthday wanted to have a bunch of her friends over and have a party. So I told my sister and made a bet with her. "I bet you that my wifes annoying friends will be the first and last to leave the party" the bet was for 20 bucks. She said I was full of it. Sure enough they were there first and didn't leave until 2 hrs after everyone left. Of course my sister never paid up until my wife told her the annoying people left last. they don't shut up and have a story about everything. Talking with them leads from one story to another. I mention "tire" they have a story. I say "pig" and they had a pig. I say I snorkled to the titanic and they have a story for it totally ignoring the fact you can't snorkle to the titanic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RelentlessMalice Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 Okay the next chapter in this story is that this annoying couple wants to go on a cruise with us during spring break. They want to go on a cruise and buy our tickets. I told the wife no way and no one is buying a ticket for me to take a cruise. Not happening. I will go nuts if I'm stuck on board a ship with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good God a Bear Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 There re 3 options:1. Tell your wife. If she wants to hang out with them that's fine but you're not going to do it.2. Act like a dick to them and they will take the hint eventually. I mean give 'em the death stare and everything.3. Get a divorce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evolence Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I could tolerate an awful lot of something I don't like if there is a free cruise ticket out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 So far your examples are: they want to hang out with your wife, they talk, and they want to buy you a ticket for a cruise. I can see why you hate them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Driver Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Okay the next chapter in this story is that this annoying couple wants to go on a cruise with us during spring break. They want to go on a cruise and buy our tickets. I told the wife no way and no one is buying a ticket for me to take a cruise. Not happening. I will go nuts if I'm stuck on board a ship with them.At the end of the day if you can't be honest and direct with your wife about how you feel, there's a bigger problem than two people you find annoying. No offense, but the way you often post, you really come off as a "my way or the highway" type of guy, so I don't know if that's part of the problem or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Reese, why'd you delete what i wrote?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 I didn't delete jack! Actually, nobody's deleted anything from here. What's missing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evolence Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 She's been snorting pills again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pong Messiah Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 haha she's high Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 i wish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerina Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 I was going to fix the formatting in your post, but it was just as screwy for me. So I didn't actually change anything. So there's why there's an edit tag in your post. Is that what you're talking about? Or is something else missing? I always shoot someone a PM if I edit something for content or if I delete something. If no PM, I probably fixed or attempted to fix formatting glitches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowDog Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 I'll have what MG's having! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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