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The last film you saw -- and what would you grade it


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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty   A   I am pretty sure I love this movie. Ben Stiller's best work, imo.

Heavy Metal. Watched under the influence. I give it 9,001 cartoon nipples.  

Zero Dark Thirty   C+   An intriguing romantic comedy that's short on laughs but long on heart. Jessica Chastain stars as a beautiful young overachiever with a razor sharp tongue on a desperate quest

Insidious - B-

 

I was joking with my wife before watching this, saying that with a title like Insidious, if the villain turns out to be a cackling old man in a robe and hood shooting lightning from his fingertips, I'm going to demand my money back. Ha ha.

 

Imagine my surprise when none other than Darth Maul turns up, in the flesh, as the film's big bad.

 

On a more positive note, the film does do a fine job of ratching up the tension. Far and away the scariest thing in this film was Tiny Tim's disturbing rendition of Tiptoe Through the Tulips. Doubt I'll watch it again though - pass it by and watch The Conjuring instead, where Mr. Wan displays significant progress in the art of creating jumpy haunted house films.

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2 Guns

 

Denzel and one of those teenage band guys with Wahlburg in his name.

 

I loved it. A -

 

It was just stupid fun. The twists were given away or telegraphed but I just liked the whole show. I thought it was great to see Olmos being a bad guy again and CIA guy was super HAMMY comical.

 

Why does the CIA always have to be the bad guy?

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The Frozen Ground

 

C

 

It's worth Netflixing if you like the genre or the cast, otherwise...

 

This is the adaptation of the Hansen serial murders in Alaska, which happened from the 70s thru the early 80s. It stars Rising Arizona and Say Anything as a cop and the murderer. High School Musicial is in it as a prostitute as well and Half Dollar plays a pimp.

 

It was neat to see a film about Alaska actually filmed in Alaska, let alone in Anchorage. It was surprising to see parts of downtown Anchorage depicted as a den of such debauchery, but I guess Anchorage has evolved more into a tourist city since then.

 

The camera work was annoying at times, but I think they were doing shaky cam and close shots intentionally to try to disguise 2010 Anchorage as 1980s Anchorage. Nice work with era vehicles and clothes etc however.

 

Personal Note: my oldest son's acting teacher was in the film, he hasn't seen it yet so he can't confirm but I think she was Hansen's bakery assistant, has a couple lines and gets touched (in hindsight) creepily by her boss the Butcher Baker.

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The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance - A+

 

I've really become a big fan of John Wayne in the last couple years since I've been watching his westerns for the first time. Jimmy Stewart and Vera Miles are also great in this.

 

Black Sabbath - B+

 

I saw the American version which I heard changes "The Telephone" story a lot. I need to see the Italian version now, but I enjoyed what I saw. Boris Karloff makes for a strange and creepy vampire in the third story. It'll be really weird to hear Karloff in the other version with a dubbed voice.

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American Hustle

 

???

 

What is this movie? What are they doing? Did they ... did they know real people would see them doing this? Didn't they realize they'd be seen talking in their funny voices and wearing these clothes? Look, I get it. I understand : they're actors, they want to dress up and get their hair done and become fatter or thinner and show off their accents and end up with a little golden statue to take home. That's the game. That's how the actors actor. But did nobody ever stop and think to say "hey, why don't we tone it down a notch" and if anybody thought that why didn't they speak up? I feel like in a few decades time we'll all be sitting outside the Hague waiting for the answers to these questions. I feel like we'll all hear the sounds of a Spencer Tracy-ish Alec Baldwin-ish prosecutor asking David O. Russell these questions and we'll be able to watch as the men and women responsible for Jeremy Renner's hairstyling fall to their knees and weep. And thirty years after that somewhere in a remote South American country a wizened old man will, in shame, come forward and say "It was me. I choose to dress Amy Adams like that. We didn't know any better. We thought people would accept a woman who never once wore a bra under any circumstances whatsoever. God help us, WE THOUGHT WE WERE RIGHT."

 

Whose story is being told in this movie? At first you're all like "hey, it's the story of Christian Bale and his big ol' belly and his balding pate" and then you're all like "wait, why are we hearing Amy Adams doing voice-over" and then suddenly in comes him from Alias and he's got a haircut like The Beyonder and HE'S THE ONE NARRATING NOW. Whose movie is this?

 

I don't know. Maybe it's me. Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe this is what normal people feel like when they watch a sci-fi or fantasy film.

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Let Me In - B-

 

Good film, well shot, nice pace, beleivable acting, and good effects on Abby's face when she vamps out. However, it loses points cause the swedes made this film first. And frequently this film replicates EXACT shots from the original Swedish film Let The Right One In. Which I suppose is not a bad thing, since the original is excellent, but replicating shots kind of lacks imagination.

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The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug.

 

B- very good movie, but i do think the first hobbit was better. when Smaug finally enters into the movie, the movie from there on out really takes the cake. would have been nice if the entire movie was that way instead of the last 40 minutes or so.

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Her- C+

 

 

it's hard for me to grade this movie. because overall, phoenix and johanson were phenomenal. fantastic performances, even through with scarlett, all she was was a voice. but the movie lacked substance and it just felt awkward and was kind of uncomfortable to watch. i just have no interest in watching this movie again, even with the great performances. i mean seriously, joaquin phoenix could win an oscar for his performance and i wouldn't be mad. it's that great of a performance. just felt kind of blah about the premise of the movie.

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Europa Report - B+

 

found footage/documentary style scifi space adventure. A crew of 6 goes to Jupiter to land on the moon Europa and try and find evidence of life beneath the icy surface.

 

Claustrophobic and thrilling and perfectly reserved. With lots of good science, and just the slightest touch of fantastical sci fi stuffs, I greatly enjoyed it. Would watch the lovely and slightly androgynous pilot astronaut again and again.

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Frozen

 

B

 

Why doesn’t Kristoff remember young Anna being healed by the trolls when he meets up with her? Did he not recognize the king and queen of his ambiguously located ruritanian pseudo-Nordic seemingly Aryan pureblooded realm? Are there a lot of redheads with a single streak of blonde hair out there? Is he keeping it to himself?

 

The songs aren’t much, at least to my ears. There’s one big showstopper (“Let It Go”) and one pretty funny one (“In Summer”) but the rest (“Love Can Open The Door” and “Fixer Upper” and … “Do You Want To Build A Snowman?” and I think I’m missing one or two here) left me cold. I mean, I can summon a vague memory of a mere one song from Tangled so this is doing very good by modern Disney standards but still..

 

 

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Into Darkness

 

A

 

Utterly delightful. I’m not sure why the overwhelming sympathy towards language-comprehending animal lifeforms didn’t extend to the sardines (you can see it with the eyes totally following the conversation… WHY MUST IT DIE SO THE PICKLEPEOPLE SHOULD LIVE???) but a consistently argued ethos deriving from fundamental Kantian axioms might be a bit beyond the message of a kid’s movie. Really liked the voicework of Will Forte on the weird Steve Jobs / Thomas Edison hybrid.

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