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The last film you saw -- and what would you grade it


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Dredd-- A-

 

only reason it's not a straight A is because I wanted a littttle more from Dredd. He was a bit robotic for me, which I understand is kinda his thing, but still. A little more character development would have been nice.

 

 

Sidenote: Lena Headey plays the best female villain, like, ever, in my whole life.

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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty   A   I am pretty sure I love this movie. Ben Stiller's best work, imo.

Heavy Metal. Watched under the influence. I give it 9,001 cartoon nipples.  

Zero Dark Thirty   C+   An intriguing romantic comedy that's short on laughs but long on heart. Jessica Chastain stars as a beautiful young overachiever with a razor sharp tongue on a desperate quest

Pitch Perfect

 

A

 

Replaces Josie and the Pussycats in my 'favourite movie about an all female music group' category. Funnier and grosser and cuter than expected. Brilliantly cast; everything down to the one scene adult a cappella (two words? what??) group made up of Turk from Scrubs, Jason Jones from The Daily Show, Whatshisname (Joe Lo Truglio????) from The State, and some guy I didn't recognize. The movie stars Pretty Brunette, Handsome McSmarmyFace, Blonde, Naked Ginger, Fatty, Jew, Asian, Indian, Black, and John Michael Higgins & Elizabeth Banks as the commentators who are the second best thing in the movie after the singing the singing is good I liked it when they sang.

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Sennentuntschi : Curse of the Alps (2010)

 

C+

 

Supposed to be Sweden's first genre horror film. DO BETTER, SWEDES! Muddled chronology (flashbacks happening inside flashbacks which all takes place inside one big flashback) and a deliberately ambiguous supernatural aspect that comes to an unsatisfying resolution. A leetle too much rape, too, the film establishes these guys are rapists when they rape the title character and then decides to give it another go and have them rape her again --- THE AUDIENCE GETS IT THE FIRST TIME, SWEDES, NO NEED TO HAVE AN EXPLOITATIVE RAPE SCENE WHERE YOU HAVE ALSO DECIDED TO MAKE THE WOMAN COMPLETELY NAKED THAT IS A DELIBERATE CHOICE TO TITILLATE THE AUDIENCE COME ON SWEDES DO BETTER. Also : one of the guys who abuses the title character is implied to get away clean in a film that is, at its core, about a damaged woman getting revenge on her abusers.

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The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

 

D+

 

This movie is torn between gritty semi-realism (as of its predecessor Pitch Black, a quite good little movie) and crazy gonzo full on trilogy of trilogies DUNE weirdness. It's trying to be a sequel to Pitch Black but also the first in a projected series of films (and I see from ImdB at least that there will finally almost ten years later be a sequel) and it does neither of these particularly well. The necromongers are the best thing about this film (even the name kind of grew on me and now I'm not entirely sure of its badness) but that's not saying much. About thirty to forty percent of this film is just Vin Diesel taking off his goggles and Vin Diesel putting on his goggles. Colm Feore and Thandie Newton and Linus Roache do a pretty good job playing death-obsessed cultists with varying degrees of loyalty to the cause but Karl Urban is no good at scowling here he gets better at scowling in Star Trek and Dredd. And, yes, I watched the director's cut and not the theatrical release I can't even imagine what that's like.

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I SHALL WATCH ALL FILMS

 

The Scenesters (2009)

 

C+

 

A cute and silly skewering of hipster pretension married to noir parody. Could have used a bigger budget. The serial killer ends up being the most obvious non-obvious choice. Does that make sense? It's always the guy who you wouldn't even think for it to be. When it's laughing at its characters the film is great but when it stoops to laugh at itself (as in the scene where, in quick succession, the prominent news stories of 2002 are faux-casually dropped into conversation) things go awry.

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EVEN NEW ONES

 

The Last Exorcism : Part II (2013)

 

B-

 

Laughable title. But pretty good nonetheless. I'm not sure if I want to check out the film this film is a sequel to (it's found footage and I do not like that all that much) but I would totally watch a sequel to this movie. And not sure if the ending is a glorious paean to the acceptance of life over death and the fullest understanding of one self one can have or a deeply disturbing message to the abused to give in to their abusers. Much better than the last demonic possession movie I saw (with the stunningly original title of The Possession) but that had Matisyahu in the Father Merrin role at least whereas I recognized nobody in this film but am not sure if that's a plus or a minus.

 

[Edit : Three "not sure"s. Yeesh. RCALLEN IS NOT SURE ABOUT THINGS!!!!]

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Lately this has been the Copper and RC show!

 

 

The Birdcage(1996) -- B

 

Robin Williams and some other hilarious actor that I recognize but can't remember the name of play a gay couple that run a drag show in Florida. Their son wants to marry a girl whose father is an über-conservative Senator. The daughter is played by a paper thin Calista Flockhart who manages to look waifish and pretty unlike her current bone-y rope-y look that age has given her.

 

Moral of the story: eat a bit more when you get old or else you will look like a corpse walking around.

 

oh also the movie was heartwarming.

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NOBODY ELSE WATCHES MOVIES EVER

 

Jack the Giant Killer (2013)

 

B-

 

Pretty good. Him from Warm Bodies was good as Jack and so was whoeveritwas who played Isabel. Obi-Wan and Ian McShane and Stanely Tucci were also good but that is basically superfluous to say because they are good in everything they do. The final ending sting and the bit where Stanely Tucci announces to the giants his eventual plan to take over America were both unnecessary tying of the fantasy drama to our humdrum everyday world and I could have done without them. Also, what happened to Stanley Tucci's sidekick? Did he die and I missed it? Was there a scene after the credits?

 

I liked it when the giants were killed!

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Pitch Perfect -- A

 

OK. this movie made me LOL a lot. Mostly at the guy who did magic tricks. I mean, he is just so so funny and his facial expressions were genius. Also, I like Anna Kendrick and her weird nose and did anyone else notice how hot the redheaded chick is? Wow!

 

Also it is like Glee and Glee makes me happy for some weird reason.

 

I could have done without all the vomit jokes, though. But that's just my own weirdness.

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Somebody Up There Likes Me (2012)

 

C-

 

Indie film sh'b'indie film.

tricked me! The promo is a good two and a half times better than the movie. It's kind of okay if you like absolute deadpan humour and are willing to swallow the three big conceits of the film (which are, 1, the main actor lives through decades without aging, 2, a Pulp Fiction suitcase that is never explained, 3, the whole thing is some sort of big loop maybe) but I wasn't really into it so despite killer material and a few good lines and good performances from Offerman and Weixler this didn't really do the job for me. Would have been happy if the whole film had just been one hour and ten minutes worth of Jess Weixler eating breadsticks, though.
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Murders in the Rue Morgue - C

 

Awesome looking film, but the story of a mad scientist kidnapping women and injecting them with ape blood in an attempt to prove ape-human kinship is so silly not to mention boring. I barely made it through the whole thing. The only saving grace was the cinematography and Bela Lugosi's unibrowed scientist.

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The Black Cat - A

 

Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi both star in this great horror film about honeymooners in Hungary who are trapped in the home of a Satan worshiping priest. Karloff is very good as the evil priest and Lugosi also does a good job in his role. The ending was especially powerful with what the Lugosi character ends up doing for revenge.

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Fast and Furious 6 : A-

 

This movie was....awesome. Most fun film I've seen this summer, better than Star Trek, Iron Man, Man of Steel, After Earth or Hangover. Kept up the momentum from the 5th film and after the pre-credits scene excited to see 7. Amazing what they've done with that franchise.

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Pacific Rim (2013)

 

B+

 

Monster blood scream city destroy disaster so plan robot punch. Robot punch cool suits double mans in robot so robot punch good. Monster blood scream city destroy get even more monster blood scream city destroy over and over. Likeable hero experience tragic loss! Monster blood scream city destroy worsens and worsens, situation bleak, robot punch team-up save world last hope this is our most desperate hour. Can likeable hero and team of misfit friends experience last chance mad dash co-operation stop monster blood scream city destroy? Watch action to know! Includes : monsters, rockets, robots, oceans, lightnings, punches, kicks, grabs, weaponing, the martial arts, science, bombs, helicopters, ships, the skies, computers, lights, speeches, rivalries, friendships, hearts, guts, soul.

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I've heard only good things about The Conjuring. Definitely not my cup of tea though, I don't do demon spirit/possession movies.

 

I watched Reservoir Dogs for the first(!) time the other night.

 

Solid A-.

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