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The last film you saw -- and what would you grade it


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Kristen Bell's singing was beautiful (who knew she could sing like that?!).

I knew because she had a great version of "One way or another" or whatever that song is called in Veronica Mars.

 

But yeah I really liked this movie.

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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty   A   I am pretty sure I love this movie. Ben Stiller's best work, imo.

Heavy Metal. Watched under the influence. I give it 9,001 cartoon nipples.  

Zero Dark Thirty   C+   An intriguing romantic comedy that's short on laughs but long on heart. Jessica Chastain stars as a beautiful young overachiever with a razor sharp tongue on a desperate quest

The Bell Witch Haunting: D+

 

A mish-mash of horror film cliches: family buys a spooky old rural house with a sinister backstory, jolty found footage and security camera tapes, an exorcism that goes bad complete with gross vomiting, discordant demonic voices, night terrors ... and manages to do them ALL poorly compared to the films from which these tropes were mainly derived: The Blair Witch Project, The Exorcist, Amityville Horror and the like. Never was I in the least bit weirded out here. A low pitch rumbling sound warns you when something freaky is going to happen. Stuff you'd never expect to happen in a film like this, such as lights flickering on and off, shadows darting across the screen on security camera footage, doors swinging shut and trapping people in the basement, mutilated animal corpses. About as scary as a box of Count Chocula. Compound that with mediocre acting and glaring errors in film continuity, a contrived and weak tie-in to the actual Bell Witch legend (which is kind of freaky) shoehorned in and this damn kid with his home video cam that he NEVER shuts off no matter what, constantly challenging your suspension of disbelief, and what you're left with is a very mediocre piece of horror fiction.

 

The Bell Witch legend IS a spooky story, and deserves a film that treats it with the kind of respect it deserves (James Wan: hint hint!) This one is less like a classy horror film a-la The AmityVille Horror and more like Monster Chiller Horror Theater.

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  • 3 weeks later...

^Yay! Someone saw it. I was wondering if it would be good. I can bump it higher on my Netflix queue now.

 

Saving Mr. Banks

 

C++ Imaginary precentage wise just a point away from a B, but I can't commit to that as similar films (eg. Finding Neverland) were better (however, full disclosure, I absolutely adore Peter Pan).

 

Never-the-less Saving Mr. Banks was a good viewing. I cry at the drop of a hat, so don't take my word for it, but this film's climax made me cry. If you're looking for insight to what Mary Poppins was about and love your emotions tugged, then you'll enjoy this film.

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Jack The Giant Slayer

 

C

 

Not bad, not great. Not much really remarkable excepting for the Phantom-type waterfalls in Giant Land. Those were cool. OH, and the amount of names in the credits-holy COW those were many. MANY, MANY, many.

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The Lone Ranger

 

D-

 

The cast were wonderful and the film walked a beautiful line of fantasy action and humor while retelling this classic old west tale... right up until the climax which is a total farce. There is probably 25 to 35 minutes of film that could be cut out, with most of it in it's looney toons style ending.

 

This is a damn shame of a film, just so close to something I would love to see much more of in sequels. Then that horrible action piece ending betrays everything the film built. This film was selling the audience something grand all throughout and then boom! It turns out we bought a pile of shit. Bad trade.

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Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia

 

A-

 

DAMN, I'd forgotten how...special this film is. I kept seeing the things Tarantino must have been influenced by.

The minus is because it seems wildly inconsistent to me-too much filler. But the attempts at keeping said head fresh while being carried through Mexico in a pillowcase are unparalleled, even today in moviedom.

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Grudge Match

 

C

 

A solid C. The CG deaging was eh, but it is eh in every film I see it used. Overall this was a charming, if predictable sports tale. That isn't to say some surprises don't happen. Plot wise, without really spoiling anything, if Apollo had never died in Rocky 4 then this film would really only need a few tweaks to be Rocky 7. It has the heart of Rocky Balboa, if not a bit redundant to it.

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X-Men Days of Future Past

 

A

 

Probably the best Superhero movie since The Dark Knight

 

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Amazing Spider-man 2

 

B-

 

Good movie. Not bad writing but not much real drama or twist.

 

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Godzilla

 

B

 

Good for a monster movie. Liked how they started it in Asia but as always it's always America focused.

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Maleficent

 

B

 

Angelina Jolie is wonderful in this, I think. The costumes are magnificent; very modern without looking ridiculously out of place in a film about magic kingdoms, castles and "moors"-and I use ironic quotes because even though I've never seen one in real life-these sets don't really look like the moors I've seen (American Werewolf, Woman in Black?). They're prettier-yet not pretty ENOUGH for me. The horns and headgear she wears are just beautiful and perfectly proportioned, although we're never told why this particular fairy HAS big, dark horns. Her cheekbones threaten to steal the show; they're so high and sharp you could hone a razor on them.

 

About 3/4 of the film is very dark and I know it's meant to be-but I mean physically dark-dark enough to obscure far too much detail.

 

The back story is inspired (is this invented or was it from Disney OR the original literature?) but went by SO quickly and it was the most interesting part of the film for me. It's also treated like a modern date-rape, which I found intriguing.

 

I liked the CGI, though in 3D it hurt my head near the end-I was always trying to find the 'line' between real life and CGI.

 

Downsides: WTF with Stephan? It's never really explained why he did what he did-yeah, to be king, but he never really expressed a burning desire to take the throne-especially a desire SO strong that he'd violate his BFF in so many horrid ways to fulfill.

 

I didn't care for Elle Fanning in her role at all. She has the overall coloring but I don't find her 'young-princess-attractive'. And she acts like a ****ing DOLT-spinning and giggling and getting everything wrong. And then, THIS is what eventually melts Malificent's decades-old, cold, dark heart? Pretty unlikely.

 

The pixies kinda creeped me out-when they're tiny and winged, they have their full, real faces (!!!!). They're the only real color in the film, yet their roles don't reflect this-they're shown as ALL dumb and bumbling. Every fantasy movie knows that when you have THREE of the same, they're supposed to be good, evil and naive, DUH!

 

All in all, highly recommend- the 1:38 went by for me like 20 minutes.

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The Family

 

C+

 

This film takes a family that should be viewed as repulsive, brutally shows how you shouldn't like them and yet you can still find yourself liking them. By the end of the film I wanted to see the next "adventure" for this Gangster version of the Addams Family.

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How to Train your Dragon 2

 

A-

 

i rate it slightly below the first movie simply because the charm of toothless is familiar. that's really the only fault of the sequal, and it's really not the movies fault. great story, great fun. my son LOVED it.

 

 

Grand Budapest Hotel

 

A-

 

I know wes anderson is not for everyone, but i generally love his work, and this one is up there with The Darjeeling Limited as his best work yet. such a great story teller.

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