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NIGHTLY FOOTBALL FEDERATION - Season X!


Rock
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From the Nightly Football Federation Headquarters

 

(NFF Press Secretary)

...And without further ado, I present to you, the assembled media, the esteemed team representatives from the NFF, British Parliment, and the cast of "My Name is Earl", the new owner of the Austin Tanks, Skiff Dickmon.

(Mr. Dickmon approaches the podium)

Assume the position, HaHa! That's a joke I tell, it's pretty funny, most people laugh... anyway they're all yours Mr. Dickmon.

 

(Skiff Dickmon)

Thank you, thank you.

Please, please don't stand up.

I am honored to be welcomed by such fine individuals, my fellow team owners, the British dudes in wigs, Sylvester Stalone...

 

(the NFF Press Secretary aside to Dickmon)

That not Stalone, sir, it's a look-alike

 

(Dickmon)

Aw really? Are all these celebrities look-alikes?

Kenny Rogers?

Justine Bateman?

Chewbacca?

 

(NFF Press Secretary)

All look-alikes

 

(Dickmon)

Jason Lee?

 

(NFF Press Secretary)

No, that's him

 

(Dickmon back to the crowd)

Sorry folks, now where was I? Oh yes, The most discreet way to purchase Valtrex is through...

 

(NFF Press Secretary)

No, no, sir the football team

 

(Dickmon)

Yes, of course.

On Friday June 29th in the final year of our Lord, I and an assemblence of anonymous investors officially purchased the Austin Somethings of the Nightly Football Federation. It is our honor and priveledge to be part of this fine, outstanding, somewhat respectful organization, and I and my clan of malevolent cronies look forward to a long and prosperous partnership with the NFF. We are all extremely excited for the puck to drop on this new season and hit some home runs, as they say.

In addition to a change in ownership, the Austin whatevers will be relocated to Flint Michigan and will be forever known as the Dead Ponies, or at least until Disney sues us for copyright infringement, am I right? I know, I know, I kid.

In the coming weeks we will be engaging in the process of overhauling the entirety of this disastrous franchise, from player personel and team management, to custodial and catering services, with specific attention directed towards improving the attractiveness of our office secretaries.

So... Ah... yeah... since I have an appointment in China Town with my masseuse and she charges for the hour regardless of whether I'm there or not, I'm abruptly ending this press conference right now. I apologize for not answering any of the questions I had promised to answer, but that's **** for ya.

 

Have a great night everyone, and Play Ball!!

 

(NFF Press Secretary)

Skiff Dickmon, everybody, the new owner of the Flint Michigan Dead Ponies!!

 

 

 

 

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Right. Last year's vote didn't pass:

 

Item 1. Pre-Draft Keeper Welfare Picks

Proposal: ONLY the owners that did not make the previous' playoffs will be allowed to use ONE keeper substitution held before the draft.

 

Vote: For = 6, Against = 4... Not Pass

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It snakes. First round:

 

1. Skiff

2. Micks

3. Carr

4. SuperDragons

5. Austin's Steelers

6. Aussie Kangaroos

7. Midnight Haters

8. Ash's Ruff Puppies

9. Rock's Heels

10. Kemah Jokers

11. Aussie Kangaroos

12. UKLK's Vikings

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Austin Tanks

Is this correct?

Yes it is. *****.

No, no! I knew Otanku was going to be replaced, so when I saw this I thought it was YOU because of the stupid "Austin Tanks/Steelers" thing. Glad you're still around.

 

Welcome Skiff! Thanks for not naming your team Austin Dead Ponies.

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Trade Announcement:

 

Rock's Heels send WR Greg Jennings and their 3rd Round Pick (#32) to Skiff's Dead Ponies for their 2nd Round Pick (#23) and 3rd Round Pick (#24)

 

That didn't take long. Guess its a hazing thing right up there with one night in Lucas' mom.

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How is the draft conducted?

If you get bored, you can find the previous 5 drafts in this forum. Here's last year's draft:

 

http://nightly.net/t...-draft-central/

 

As you can see, we have a good time with it. Each owner has 24 hours to make their selection, although we try our best to move it along quickly. Let's say I know I'm going to be asleep or at work or hungover (Irish uses that a lot) when my pick will come up, I'll send a PM to UK or someone that's infront of me with my top 3-5 players I want. That way I'm not slowing down the draft.

 

As we progress, Irish, Garr and UK... it's so weird that I use some people's real names and others by their Nightly handles! Okay, stop.. lemme try again -

 

As we progress, Sean, Garr and Ryan will update the 1st post of the thread with the owner's draft picks. They'll also edit the ESPN site by adding the players to your roster from the FA pool. This is all done to make sure you know exactly who's available when you make your draft pick. If you do make the mistake of drafting a person already taken, the next owner may make their pick. Once you realize your mistake (someone will catch is pretty quickly) you can make your pick at any time.

 

That's pretty much the rules. We like to have fun in the thread too, not just posting the name of the player. We'll put up pictures of the player, their jersey or, in some cases, their police mug shot. Some of us make press releases, war-room RP's and other silliness. We also like to make fun of each other and rip other owners for all kinds of stuff, such as reaching for a homer player, taking defense in the first round, drafting a sucky player much higher than they should, etc. It's all in good fun and a good time is had.

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Mark Ingram is on the block if anyone is in the market for a good rookie keeper. (He wasn't used last year so he is eligible to be your rookie keeper). Asking mid-round draft pick.

Trade Announcement:

 

Rock's Heels send RB Mark Ingram and their 9th Round Pick (#105) to Team Carr for their 8th Round Pick (#94) and 9th Round Pick (#99)

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