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Top 10 Dumbest Assed 24 Subplots


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#1
ShadowDog

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24 was a great show. An AWESOME show. But as good as it was, it had some subplots that were equally bad or WORSE. These subplots were so bad even Heroes shamelessly giggled and pointed.

Here are the all time ten worst. Obviously, if you haven't seen every season or 24, you'd better leave now or be spoiled.

(I'll do 10-8 tomorrow, I've run out of time and I don't want to rush through these. :drool: )

7) Kim Bauer had a hell of a day in Season 2. A hell of a day, as she wandered from dumb assed situation to dumb assed situation. The way she ended that day wasn't the tardest assed subplot of her day, but it makes the list. You see, of all the convenience stores in LA, Kim picks the one about to be robbed by some moron trying to get supplies for his knocked up wife. I don't remember what supplies he needed in the middle of the night, but that's not important. What's important is that Kim had a gun on this stupid bastard but let him grab it from her so we could spend the rest of the episode cutting back to this tardation. I wish I could report that the sweaty dumbass of a husband filled Kim with holes, shot the store clerk, and then sprayed his own brains all over the store ... but alas there would be no happy ending to this subplot.

6) Okay, so that whole chasing around the blonde drug running douchebag to start Season 3 when it turns out he had nothing to do with the virus (or with anything else for that matter) was the biggest waste of time on TV until the Lost Flash Sideways, right? Right.

5) Near the end of Season 2, Whatshername, the blonde chick who had the terrorist sister, and that Jewish spy have the chip that will stop the upcoming war from happening. Suddenly, Cletus the slack jawed yokel and the two dumbest stooges come out of nowhere, beat the Jewish spy to death (for some reason never fully explored) and apparently were about to do the same to the blonde chick so she talked them into going back with her to her house. Yeah, cuz random robbers and murderers are just going to hang out with you afterwards, going with you to your place where anybody could be waiting. An ill conceived and totally unbelievable sequence of events finally ends with Jack busting a cap in most of the rednecks (yeah, you heard me, rednecks in LA) and the plot moves forward from there, but I damn near break my wrist fast forwarding through this bull****.

4) That whole Curtis Manning "oh sob woe is me" crying whinefest subplot to start Season 6 and setup the completely moronic, horribly written, ass painingly forced Jack having to kill Curtis thing WAS. ****ing. STUPID.

3) Okay, so it turns out Starbuck is this totally badassed double agent, right? THEN WHY IN THE **** WAS SHE SO HELPLESSLY TERRIFIED OF A COMMON REDNECK MORON CRIMINAL FOR THE FIRST THIRD OF SEASON 8?!?!?! Why, why, WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!? As Maddox once famously said here at Nightly, let's don't get stupid now, okay?

2) Teri and Kim Bauer are racing away from the second attempt to kidnap them in the first season. They crash. The car blows up. Teri thinks Kim's dead (despite the fact that the most cursery search by Stevie Wonder would have turned her up, I mean, how far from the car could Kim have been thrown?) so how does Teri respond? She gets ****ing amnesia! Seriously. That's some retarded assed ****, yo, and was basically a way to park Teri for a couple episodes until they found out some new stupid **** for her to get involved in.

1) Kim. Cougar. Nuff said.

Honorable Mention: The whole Chase's baby subplot should have been really stupid (and it was really stupid from a writing POV) but it was saved because of how extremely funny Chloe was about the whole thing and the awesome way Chappelle played a straight man. Chappelle's growing exasperation with Chloe over this screaming baby still cracks me up every single time I watch Season 3, which is at least once a year as it's one of my favorite seasons.

#2
Darth Dude

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The only good Kim scene in season 2 was her opening convo with Jack. It all went downhill after that. Too bad because Day 2 is my favourite day.

Turning Kim into a CTU agent was kinda dumbed assed. Didn't buy it and I'd fear for the country if Elisha Cuthbert was in charge of it's defence. But she has beautiful heaving breasts which redeem any dumb ass subplot she's in.

#3
Brett

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Good read. Yeah, Kim was basically a vacuum in which all good television ceased to exist.

#4
ShadowDog

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There was another good S2 Kim scene. When she was in the bunker, after she has her shower, they do a closeup of her pulling a thin shirt tightly over her hard, unbracovered, nipples. It's pretty ****ing hawt. :drool:

#5
3 & 6 years to go...

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That's always a beautiful thing.

#6
Treq

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Screencap plz :P

#7
El Chalupacabra

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5.. Kim Bauer marrying her psychologist, who is 20 years her senior? And without Jack Bauer not disappearing him? (actually ANY Kim Bauer sub plot~ good call on the cougar thing, ShadowDog!)
4. Killing off President Palmer #1
3. President Palmer#2 going into a coma and never being heard from again.
2. Killing off Michelle Dessler
1. The whole Jack Bauer's evil Brother\Evil Dad story line from Season 6! UGH! I hated Season 6.

#8
ShadowDog

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The only thing about killing off David Palmer and Michelle Dessler is it gave us my two favorite plotlines: Jack Bauer going after a sitting President of the ****ing United States ... and Evil Tony. Without those deaths motivating those two characters, neither plotline works in my opinion. So they were necessary losses of really cool characters. (especially since the actor who played David Palmer wasn't going to be available because he was headline his own show by that point.

#9
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double

#10
El Chalupacabra

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The only thing about killing off David Palmer and Michelle Dessler is it gave us my two favorite plotlines: Jack Bauer going after a sitting President of the ****ing United States ... and Evil Tony. Without those deaths motivating those two characters, neither plotline works in my opinion. So they were necessary losses of really cool characters. (especially since the actor who played David Palmer wasn't going to be available because he was headline his own show by that point.


good point and I am forced to agree!

#11
GreenLightBaby

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Audrey. I'm happy she didn't appear in the last season. Badass that Jack killed Paul, but omg... can't stand Audrey. I don't think I was the only one that wanted white fur jacketed Audrey to bleed out Posted Image

#12
ShadowDog

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Really? You're the first 24 fan I've ever met who hated her. She was perfect for Jack and he loved her dearly. :drool:

#13
GreenLightBaby

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Really? You're the first 24 fan I've ever met who hated her. She was perfect for Jack and he loved her dearly. :drool:

LOL Not hate. Strongly dislike.

Hate causes me to not care for a show when I used to love it. Yeah I'm looking at you Seasons 8 & 9 of the 1013 company. Should have ended it at the S7 finale "Requiem." Way to go in making a strong female character into a weepy mother. From a skeptic to a believer. Oh Agent Scully, how I loved your character before you said those words... "I'm pregnant."

Yep this is the show that ruined it for me. I used to be so into this show with the mythology and everything. Too much investment so little pay off. After that, I watch just to enjoy and not delve into much.

I love 24 and rag on the plots because I'm enjoying it especially the thigh shots.Posted Image

#14
ShadowDog

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Yeah, much as I love the series and actually enjoyed Seasons 8 and 9, the lack of overall payoff has soured me on Chris Carter. Did he retire or something? I can't believe he never did another show after X Files. Maybe the Millenium and Lone Gunmen getting cancelled finished his street cred.

#15
El Chalupacabra

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Don't forget Harsh Realm,

But to be fair, with the cheddar he made off x files alone, he can afford to retire.

#16
GreenLightBaby

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PieMan, you gonna give us the rest of your list or what? :flirt:

Dammit, I'm on Jack withdrawal. Almost been a year now. Can't find a show to replace 24 because it can't be replaced. Waiting for the movie is so damn tiring. I think I'll start marathoning 24 from the beginning. Got time before Burn Notice starts up in June.

An oldie but goodie. Jack's kills from seasons 1-7 including Redemption. :drool: Over nine minutes of glorious Jack violence.



Favorites are still Vampire Jack, Stealthy Jack, and Screw Driver followed by 2X4 Jack. I still crack up when the Velvet tells another person, Spawn and the Navy Sub Enlisted, how to kill and make sure that person is dead.

#17
The Choc

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The only thing about killing off David Palmer and Michelle Dessler is it gave us my two favorite plotlines: Jack Bauer going after a sitting President of the ****ing United States ... and Evil Tony. Without those deaths motivating those two characters, neither plotline works in my opinion. So they were necessary losses of really cool characters. (especially since the actor who played David Palmer wasn't going to be available because he was headline his own show by that point.



Umm yeah, exactly. Season 5 was the best season without a doubt. Plus I wouldn't call those killings a subplot anyway. They were pretty much the starting point of the main plot, which was awesome. Season 5 of 24 was perhaps the best thing ever on network tv.