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Opening Lines - Final Vote


40 replies to this topic

Poll: Pick one in each catagory (18 member(s) have cast votes)

BARREL OF MONKEYS (FUNNY/CLEVER)

  1. Samantha Reynolds was an okay enough person, so long as you didn't mind her non sequiturs. If you were having a conversation about the TV show you watched last night, she'd say something about how her goat got stuck in the fence. (6 votes [33.33%])

    Percentage of vote: 33.33%

  2. Whenever she was around, Monday typically lost his bearings. Tripping over innocuous cracks in the pavement. Falling flat like an ill conceived simile. (3 votes [16.67%])

    Percentage of vote: 16.67%

  3. "If Helen's so worried about looking silly, how in the hell has she ever had sex? Talk about looking like a drooling, grunting, basket case!" Romey paused at the unified look of shock on his student's faces. "Well, this lecture just took a darker turn than I intended. Anyway, back to Middle Earth ..." (9 votes [50.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 50.00%

JACK IN THE BOX (ORIGINAL EDITION)

  1. A fat gold band nearly completely covered in a forest of knuckle hair flashed in the sunlight as sausage fingers after sausage finger plopped onto the rusted roof of a Buick Le Sabre. The wench was late and he was hungry. (4 votes [22.22%])

    Percentage of vote: 22.22%

  2. The planetary alignment was in a matter of hours, and every step brought Thaddeus closer to his fate. As momentus as the occasion was, it started in the usual manner, as Thaddeus laughed quietly to himself with the irony of it all. For who would have thought that anyone would decend into the Earth to study the heavens? (4 votes [22.22%])

    Percentage of vote: 22.22%

  3. The television was gone. (8 votes [44.44%])

    Percentage of vote: 44.44%

  4. Going back in time was going to be the easy part. At least compared to convincing himself to take a different course of action than he'd originally done. (2 votes [11.11%])

    Percentage of vote: 11.11%

JACK IN THE BOX (ACTION EDITION)

  1. Thousands of his pictures covered the walls and floor of john's empty studio apartment as he laid bloody and breathless in a pile of the culmination of his life's work, the cataloging of every moment he could capture on film, whether awe inspiringly beautiful or stomach churningly disgusting. His lifeless eyes were fixed upon the crimson writing on the ceiling, " The camera never lies!" (4 votes [22.22%])

    Percentage of vote: 22.22%

  2. Awaiting their execution by firing squad, Anna slapped Jake with her handcuffs muttering, "It's your ****ing fault we got caught." Dropping down on one knee, Jake pleaded, "Marry me Anna." "Marry me and live, Anna, or marry Jake and die," boomed a male voice from the speakers above them. (8 votes [44.44%])

    Percentage of vote: 44.44%

  3. It was the sound of the gravel that gave him away. The peep hole's range of vision wasn't wide enough to tell, but she suspected he was pacing rather than leaving. She locked the deadbolt just in case, and wondered if it would hold when the time came. (6 votes [33.33%])

    Percentage of vote: 33.33%

JACK IN THE BOX (RELATIONSHIP EDITION)

  1. Just once, he thought bitterly, as he pulled a tin of baked beans out of the cupboard and flicked through the bread for a slice without green on. Just once, i'd like to think of a comeback to that bitch the same goddamn week. (5 votes [27.78%])

    Percentage of vote: 27.78%

  2. Their first look lasted one full breath, their first kiss lasted one full heartbeat, but their first argument lasted the rest of their lives. Harold and Eloise's relationship could be summed up suchly. (2 votes [11.11%])

    Percentage of vote: 11.11%

  3. The first part of him to touch her bare skin, leaving behind tiny raised hairs and goosebumps, were his manicured nails. He was careful not to let the balls of his fingers brush her flesh as his nails traced up and down her spine. "I'll never let you in." She promised with a voice that was little more than a baby's gasp. (1 votes [5.56%])

    Percentage of vote: 5.56%

  4. Today is supposed to be the best day of my life, but now, even hours later, all I can see is the rain spattering on the sign: FLORIDA STATE PENITENTIARY. I used my phone call to leave a message for my mom, but it's only a matter of time before my bride-to-be finds out. She's going to kill me. (3 votes [16.67%])

    Percentage of vote: 16.67%

  5. Ever so quietly the boy opened the package containing his grandmother's greatest love. (7 votes [38.89%])

    Percentage of vote: 38.89%

MOST BIZZARE/UNEXPECTED

  1. Yo, my name is Derek and I **** goldfish with thousand-dollar toothpicks. (6 votes [33.33%])

    Percentage of vote: 33.33%

  2. He fumbles with his turgid manhood, scrambling to tuck it back inside his gabardine trousers… but it is too late. A school bus full of nuns has already exploded. (12 votes [66.67%])

    Percentage of vote: 66.67%

BULWER-LYTTON BOOBY PRIZE

  1. He was a wirey young fellow in a three-piece suit, with a jubilant demeanor and a two-time step that made even the least destitute inhabitants of the Shantytown uncomfortable, much in the same way that the first green shoots of a mild spring day emphasize the uselessness of last fall's remaining dead leaves. (8 votes [44.44%])

    Percentage of vote: 44.44%

  2. Peter Fonda was dead; at least he was when I fell asleep last night, not that I had any way of checking such a thing, but there he was on Letterman, chatting up his latest film. Sure, I wasn't quite awake yet but I clearly remembered his death; it was back in June of '69, right after Duane Allman bit it on his bike, getting impaled by a wayward piece of re-bar that flew off a flatbed in front of him. And this wasn't the only thing that seemed...off today. (10 votes [55.56%])

    Percentage of vote: 55.56%

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#1
Antilla

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So obviously I had to re-work the categories a bit. Hopefully they should all be self-explanatory. It was a little tough trying to find common threads that would result in groupings of 3 or 4 opening lines each - but I think it's acceptable. And yeah. I don't really think Monkeygirl was aiming for a Bulwer-Lytton. But Svenn needed competition. It fit wonderfully. So I don't think she'll mind.

Nixie saved the day when it came to most of the ties in the original vote, but actually created one when it came to the Sheep Murderer lines. I just went ahead and took both tied entries, and had my hopes dashed that her single submission would be a sentence about a grandmother's love.

Anyway. Voting will wrap up by Sunday night. That's December 13th for the more calendar oriented of you. BUT, in order to stave off some of the anti-climatic atmosphere that occurs with a public contest, two of the categories are going to be PM votes:

The Wordsmith Award and the Overall Best Opening Line. All entries that have made it to this final vote are qualified. So copy and past your choices for these two categories, send a private message my way, then tune in Sunday night for a complete list of winners.

That's it.

Edited by Antilla, 10 December 2009 - 12:46 PM.


#2
Sonny

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Excellent! Thanks again Antilla for taking all this work on.

#3
Antilla

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I'm never doing another contest again :P

#4
ShadowDog

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Good work Anty! Awesome job.

I'm never doing another contest again :P


Ain't no fun when the rabbit's got the gun, is it? :drool:

#5
Antilla

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Contests are, in fact, much more fun when someone else is in charge. The copy-and-pasting. The counting. The quadruple checking to make sure I’ve included all the right submissions in all the right places in each poll … only to discover 10 minutes after hitting “post” that I’ve totally blew it. The behind the scenes computer reformatting Sunday when all programs stopped responding. The re-emergence of the problem yesterday with a deadline looming.

Which was important, ‘cause I vowed early on to not miss any deadlines.

When you’re running things, it doesn’t feel like you get to participate so much. My own entries were just an afterthought. But. So far it seems to all be going over well, so that makes me feel better.

I feel really bad for ShadowDog now, however, thinking back on those Summer Tournaments. Which were so great. But were clearly so much work.

#6
ShadowDog

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It was still fun, man, but only because I chose to miss deadlines over going insane. LMFAO But you hit the key point on the head.

Why the blue bloody **** do we only have crushing computer issues when running a contest with a heavy deadline? I've had one or two computer problems since, but I had one every single ****ing contest back in the day! It's like the computer is all like "Heh, he's doing something with other people counting on him so NOW is the time to strike, my pretty! MWA-HA-HA-HA!" And it's not like you can keep saying "Yeah, um, I had computer problems again" because while it's true it sounds like boolsheet. So you end up just taking the bullet.

Computers, and their failures, really piss me the **** off.

#7
Richcelt

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To be frank, Antilla, it's your own damned fault for creating a contest that required SO many different entries. That's quite an undertaking even for someone like ShadowDog, who's run many contests.

That said, this is coming along nicely, despite your difficulties. So, nice job! :D :thumbsup:

#8
Richcelt

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Also, I don't know if anyone else has had this idea yet or not, but I for one would be very interested to see if the authors of the above selection of first lines can then, after the contest, wrap stories around them. I think it might be a good challenge, at least for some (myself included). It's one thing to come up with an interesting line, especially when that's all that's required, but you may not have much more than that line thought out. Some of the lines I wrote for this contest I have continueing plots for. I DON'T have one for the one that made this list, however. So it would be a bit of a challenge to come up with one.

I wonder how many others would feel the same way about their lines.

#9
Sheep Murderer

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Antilla, I should have deleted that line where it sat. It was a joke. A JOKE! Young boy+grandmother+love= joke! And people actually voted for it!
...
I hate you all.

#10
ShadowDog

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Heh. :drool:

#11
R.CAllen

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Antilla --- thanks for making the contest!

And whoever ends up winning I think we all know that the real winner is :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: .

#12
Iceheart

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Also, I don't know if anyone else has had this idea yet or not, but I for one would be very interested to see if the authors of the above selection of first lines can then, after the contest, wrap stories around them. I think it might be a good challenge, at least for some (myself included). It's one thing to come up with an interesting line, especially when that's all that's required, but you may not have much more than that line thought out. Some of the lines I wrote for this contest I have continueing plots for. I DON'T have one for the one that made this list, however. So it would be a bit of a challenge to come up with one.

I wonder how many others would feel the same way about their lines.


NO. I can barely write 3,000 words, how am I supposed to write a fantasy epic? :P

Antilla, I should have deleted that line where it sat. It was a joke. A JOKE! Young boy+grandmother+love= joke! And people actually voted for it!
...
I hate you all.


I assumed the package contained the kid's grandfather's head or something :shrug: :hmm:

#13
ShadowDog

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Right there with ya Icy.

#14
Sheep Murderer

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Well, yes, obviously....but...No dismembered babies being lovingly sewn back together? No human Satanmas ornaments?

#15
LadyGuinevere

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I kinda like the fact that I have no idea who wrote what :)

#16
ShadowDog

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I do too actually. I think it was inspired not to attribute names to each entry. Makes for cleaner voting.

#17
Tank

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I was robbed

#18
IMericka

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you done cheated anyway

#19
Tank

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25% were recycled... but they were still all mine!

#20
Foxglove

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Hey my only one was recycled! :lol:

#21
Richcelt

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We could use recycled first lines? Had I known that, I'd have put up a lot more than I did. All of mine were fresh.

#22
Foxglove

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It's a lot easier to get forgiveness than permission. So I just did it whether we could or not. :angel:

#23
GreenLightBaby

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Antilla, great job on compiling the entries and running this contest.

Also, I don't know if anyone else has had this idea yet or not, but I for one would be very interested to see if the authors of the above selection of first lines can then, after the contest, wrap stories around them. I think it might be a good challenge, at least for some (myself included). It's one thing to come up with an interesting line, especially when that's all that's required, but you may not have much more than that line thought out. Some of the lines I wrote for this contest I have continueing plots for. I DON'T have one for the one that made this list, however. So it would be a bit of a challenge to come up with one.

I wonder how many others would feel the same way about their lines.

I mentioned this on the other voting thread. I can't come up with story that won't contradict my opening line: "Silence is a virtue after bad sex." That comedic tone opener would never go with the seriousness of the murder mystery. All the rest of them I can write a story around. Currently thinking of how Jake and Anna are going to get out of that mess. Got an idea. Yes, Foxglove I will post it here when I'm done with it.

Antilla, I should have deleted that line where it sat. It was a joke. A JOKE! Young boy+grandmother+love= joke! And people actually voted for it!
...
I hate you all.

I thought it was all the boyfriends' hearts that broke grandmother's heart all through the years. Grandma got medieval on them for doing that to her. Kind of like Evil Willow.

Also, I don't know if anyone else has had this idea yet or not, but I for one would be very interested to see if the authors of the above selection of first lines can then, after the contest, wrap stories around them. I think it might be a good challenge, at least for some (myself included). It's one thing to come up with an interesting line, especially when that's all that's required, but you may not have much more than that line thought out. Some of the lines I wrote for this contest I have continueing plots for. I DON'T have one for the one that made this list, however. So it would be a bit of a challenge to come up with one.

I wonder how many others would feel the same way about their lines.


NO. I can barely write 3,000 words, how am I supposed to write a fantasy epic? :P

Icy, do NaNoWriMo. Doesn't matter that you don't get to 50,000. You'll have that fantasy epic down.

We could use recycled first lines? Had I known that, I'd have put up a lot more than I did. All of mine were fresh.

I thought about that for a minute, but I thought I do a lot of recycling already for the contests. ;) These opening lines were fresh off the noggin. :lol:

Ain't no fun when the rabbit's got the gun, is it? :drool:

Is it duck season or rabbit season? :lol:

#24
Foxglove

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Yes, Foxglove I will post it here when I'm done with it.


Yay! :)

#25
GreenLightBaby

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Someone needs to break the tie. :)



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