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Fred's First Lines


9 replies to this topic

#1
Richcelt

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Last week the paper read: "Definitive proof dragons existed!" They'd found bones as evidence.

This week's headline read: "'Dragon' a hoax!" The fossils were of a Pteranodon and an Apatosaurus on top of each other.

Ken could only laugh.

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The Hadrian floated into the docking station as the hanger doors closed. There was extensive damage to the hull; parts of the ship had been exposed to the vacuum of space. The opening salvos of the civil war had been fired.

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"Operation: Market Garden" was aptly named, ironically; it was a meat market, and a future flower garden "watered" by the blood of many soldiers.

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The first thing Professor Simmons did upon entering the room was to lay on his back on the floor, look up at the acoustic tiles above us, and ask, "Ever wonder why the sky is blue?"

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Samantha Reynolds was an okay enough person, so long as you didn't mind her non sequiturs. If you were having a conversation about the TV show you watched last night, she'd say something about how her goat got stuck in the fence.

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Legend states that the one born with the mark of the phoenix shall rise out of the ashes of civilization.

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"Eban, is that a tattoo on your arm? That fire-bird looking thing?"

"No, Ms. Castile. It's some kind of birthmark."

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"Look, I don't mean to be ungrateful or rude, but could somebody help me out of this ****ing car? I still have a date I'd like to get to tonight."

Edited by Richcelt, 12 December 2009 - 09:09 AM.


#2
Antilla

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Observation: Professor Simmons is a hippy who teaches at Berkley in his socks 'n' Birkenstocks. I can just tell.

#3
Richcelt

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I don't know. I kind of pictured him as Robin Williams. Only instead of standing on a desk and looking down upon his students, he laid down on the floor and looked up at them. :D

#4
Sonny

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These are really good. I just realized that by citing my favorites I am tipping my voting hand, so I'll refrain. haha But I enjoyed all of these Richcelt.

#5
ShadowDog

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Good entries, Richy! You're hitting baskets from all over the court with this, not just staying in the same writing zone. It's going to be hard to pick just one.

Ken could only laugh.


Just can't stay away, can you? :drool:

"Operation: Market Garden" was aptly named, ironically; it was a meat market, and a future flower garden "watered" by the blood of many soldiers.


I wonder how many people knew what the HELL you were talking about without googling it?

#6
Cashmere

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I like the Samantha one. I think it gives a lot of characterization in just a few word.

#7
GreenLightBaby

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Legend states that the one born with the mark of the phoenix shall rise out of the ashes of civilization.

----------------------------------------------

"Eban, is that a tattoo on your arm? That fire-bird looking thing?"

"No, Ms. Castile. It's some king of birthmark."

I love the imagery of the first one and I love how you used dialogue to pull me in the second one.

#8
Richcelt

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Legend states that the one born with the mark of the phoenix shall rise out of the ashes of civilization.

----------------------------------------------

"Eban, is that a tattoo on your arm? That fire-bird looking thing?"

"No, Ms. Castile. It's some king of birthmark."

I love the imagery of the first one and I love how you used dialogue to pull me in the second one.


I just NOW realized that that should be "KIND of birthmark".

Everyone voted on the Samantha Reynolds story, and I have no idea how I would write a full story from it. Non sequiturs would be hard to do right, especially since I don't think that way. I do think it would be funny to have a character who spoke in nothing but non sequiturs through the story, but if not done right, it could be annoying. I'm not sure if I could pull it off.

And no, Dex, I can't resist. :D

Thanks for the comments and the votes everyone.

#9
Richcelt

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Just for fun, here's a few more opening lines:

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The candle flickered in the breeze, casting the shrine in alternating patterns of light and shadow.

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The day at the park was beautiful.

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"What you do is point the X-1 west and punch it up to about Mach one point two, and you're flying just as fast west as the earth is spinning east. Anything faster than that, and you're chasing the sun."

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There was a time when Humans were the dominant species.

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He ran his fingers over the keys. In this day and age, they weren't made of ivory any more, but just some kind of imitation.

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Erin was the prettiest girl in school.

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He hated this neighborhood. He hated the people in it. He hated their nice houses, their nice cars, their nice yards; everything.

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All it took was a thought. The jet ripped apart and exploded into a fiery ball.

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My first time? Yeah, I remember it. I'd just turned twenty-one. Happy Birthday, huh?

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"I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on Earth," Belinda Martinez said to me in high school.

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The rains came once again to Southern California, carried by a cold wind that blew the rain sideways across the Valley floor.

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It was a fortress, not a grand palace.

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The phone call came early one cold February morning. It was the 27th, a Saturday, in 1988, and Richard had been sitting in the living room with his older sister, Marie, watching cartoons on the television.

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The little boy and his parents walked among the busy walkways between exhibits at the New York World's Fair.

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The terminal had been cleared. Only reporters from the various news agencies, government officials, essential staff, and security were allowed in Terminal 5.

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The door chime rang just as Jakob Cral was sitting down to dinner with his family.

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The door to his apartment slid open. He looked around the dark room and found it appropriate.

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The squad car progressed down the street between residential neighborhoods.

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The first signs that something was terribly wrong come with the alarmingly sudden increase of missing persons reports.

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"Okay, this is it," Baker said through the radio mic. "This guy doesn't leave this block alive, understand?"

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#10
Antilla

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He hated this neighborhood. He hated the people in it. He hated their nice houses, their nice cars, their nice yards; everything.


Almost certainly the opening lines to ShadowDog - The Unauthorized PIEography



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