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Lines, yo


9 replies to this topic

#1
Svenn

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Y'all ought to know by now that love ain't real, least not the kind those bull**** writers write about in stories. Kind of like how a worried old man'll hear about a friend having a heart attack, and then imagine pains in his own chest for the rest of the day, fools read that crap and start thinking, "hey, I feel that way too."







I'm pretty sure this doesn't fit into ANY category (it might fit into the most awful if that category wasn't limited by rules to one sentence).

#2
Svenn

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He was a wirey young fellow in a three-piece suit, with a jubilant demeanor and a two-time step that made even the least destitute inhabitants of the Shantytown uncomfortable, much in the same way that the first green shoots of a mild spring day emphasize the uselessness of last fall's remaining dead leaves.



See if you can guess which category this one is for.

#3
Antilla

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It's a Bulwyer-Lytton! I think! Maybe! In fact, it may be the only one. At least someone wasn't afraid to let all their nouns hang out.

Unless I was wrong. In which case: oops.

#4
Svenn

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It's a Bulwyer-Lytton! I think! Maybe! In fact, it may be the only one. At least someone wasn't afraid to let all their nouns hang out.

Unless I was wrong. In which case: oops.



Woohoo! Objective met.

#5
Sonny

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The first one could almost be a complete flash fiction. You should work on it a little more, add a little more, and submit it into flash fiction contests. I like them both but the first is excellent.

#6
Svenn

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The first one could almost be a complete flash fiction. You should work on it a little more, add a little more, and submit it into flash fiction contests. I like them both but the first is excellent.



Thanks! I appreciate the feedback.

I'm not sure how well I could flesh it out into a story though. I have a tendency to start things and never finish them, which is a problem when writing. That's one reason this contest had appeal -- I only had to write a snippet.

#7
ShadowDog

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This is great stuff, Svenn! You totally came out of the darkness with the contest. I had no idea you liked to, could, or wanted to write and you swoop out of the darkness busting heads. Nice. :drool:

#8
Svenn

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Thanks! I like to be creative, even if, as I said above, I tend to leave a lot of things unfinished.

This has motivated me to maybe, just maybe, try my hand in other contests. We'll see.

#9
Cashmere

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Woo hoo for another contest participant. I like #2 because it's delightfully wordy. :heart:

#10
GreenLightBaby

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I really like the second one. Yep, the first one lends itself to flash fiction.

Thanks! I like to be creative, even if, as I said above, I tend to leave a lot of things unfinished.

This has motivated me to maybe, just maybe, try my hand in other contests. We'll see.

I've got so many stories unfinished, it's not funny.

Enter the other contests. I think you'll enjoy stretching your writer's imagination.



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