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Even more opening lines


5 replies to this topic

#1
Antilla

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Whenever she was around, Monday typically lost his bearings. Tripping over innocuous cracks in the pavement. Falling flat like an ill conceived simile.


***


I'm the man behind the branding of those "Dignity" adult diapers your grandparents are ashamed to admit they buy. Secretly my firm had to know I was single-handedly perpetrating the biggest joke on geriatrics ever.

"Oh dear," sagging old men everywhere must have said, "I've just used up my last bit of Dignity® ... and it's only Tuesday..."


***


Under the black tendril branches of the orchard canopy, he nurses at the blunt between his fingers before passing it to his companion. Spheres of rotten Golden Delicious litter the ground around them. "Technically speaking," he says as he plucks a piece of rancid fruit from one of the dead limbs, "Johnny Appleseed was America's first pot-head."

***


Ever try to sue a koala? Good luck with that. Five years of litigation and all I've ever been awarded is a bag of partially chewed eucalyptus.

***


Circus clowns are jerks. Kill them all. Let their semi-comical, water-spewing daisy deity sort them out.


***


... I'm pretty sure I'm making a mockery of my own contest. Oh well. It happens.

#2
Sonny

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I have known 2 women named "Monday" but never a man so that was interesting.

The one about adult diapers was my favorite. Haha

#3
ShadowDog

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Ever try to sue a koala? Good luck with that. Five years of litigation and all I've ever been awarded is a bag of partially chewed eucalyptus.


I like them all but this quoted one amused me the most. Your mind is a creative playground I'm always thrilled to visit. :drool:

... I'm pretty sure I'm making a mockery of my own contest. Oh well. It happens.


LMFAO!

#4
Antilla

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I like the first one the best. "Falling flat like an ill conceived simile" works on so many levels. And I had no idea that Monday was a name ever applied to anyone in the whole history of forever. I always just use that name as a place holder when I'm writing something, because I feel like I can waste too much time precious brain fluids thinking up a passable name.

Where it came from originally, I don't remember. Maybe it was a Monday the first time I did it and the tradition stuck.

#5
Cashmere

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Totally agree that #1 rocks. My favorite is the Dignity one though.

#6
GreenLightBaby

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The first one and last one are the ones I like. Still laughing with the clown one.



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