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ShadowDog Opening Line Thread


13 replies to this topic

#1
ShadowDog

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I'll be putting my lines in this thread. And they're going to be hawt. :drool:

#2
Sheep Murderer

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I'm at the edge of my seat already. :P

Hurry up, damn it.

#3
ShadowDog

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I prefer opening my novels with a line of dialogue. I think it has more energy and sucks you into the story faster. After the first dialogue exchange, then I go into describing who the people are and where they are. Then it's right back to the dialogue through the end of the first scene. Sure, if I had the knack for flowery prose I might think differently ... but I don't.

As a bonus, can you spot the song lyric homage in one of these?

1) "If you don't get out of my face in three seconds or less," Andi glared behind scruffy blonde bangs, "you're going to be rotting dog meat lying face down in a ditch."

2) "If Helen's so worried about looking silly, how in the hell has she ever had sex? Talk about looking like a drooling, grunting, basket case!" Romey paused at the unified look of shock on his student's faces. "Well, this lecture just took a darker turn than I intended. Anyway, back to Middle Earth ..."

3) "Where's Johnny?" She said, and smiled in her special way, "I have a feeling he's not going to want to miss the end of the world."

#4
Sheep Murderer

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Hehe. I did like #2.
"and now you know what throwing a ring into the gaping maw of a volcano really means."
(somewhere, there is a porn for this.)

#5
ShadowDog

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4) "I had a sixty minute full body orgasm yesterday," Dania said brightly.

"What?!" Mark gasped, finally looking up from his textbook.

"Thought that might finally get your attention."

#6
Antilla

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It's perfectly obvious - Dania does cocaine.

#7
Copper

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cocaine is delicious.

#8
ShadowDog

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LMFAO

#9
Richcelt

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Hey Dex, who's Johnny?

#10
ShadowDog

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Heh. I was hoping somebunny would get it. :drool:

Back to the entries:

5) "So you're my new cellmate? Okay, first thing you need to know is that diarrhea is still the best way to avoid rape so it's all about stealing mayo from kitchen, leaving it under a hot light for twelve hours, and then downing it. Do that every day and you're in good shape."

Tom set his belongings down on his bunk and regarded his new cellmate, who was approximately the size of Brooklyn, warily. "Thanks!"

6) There's nothing in the universe more freeing than the knowledge that you only have 24 hours to live.

#11
Antilla

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Overall, I think #3 captures my imagination the most. And that's well and good ... but I will be needing it back eventually.

Oh imagination. Why did you have to go?

#12
ShadowDog

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Nixie actually inspired that one with her comment about wanting a spoiler alert for the end of the world. LMFAO

#13
Cashmere

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#6 is my favorite as an opening line because anything could happen after that start. The most LOL is #4 though. Silly boys.

#14
GreenLightBaby

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I prefer opening my novels with a line of dialogue. I think it has more energy and sucks you into the story faster. After the first dialogue exchange, then I go into describing who the people are and where they are. Then it's right back to the dialogue through the end of the first scene. Sure, if I had the knack for flowery prose I might think differently ... but I don't.

I totally agree with you on opening with dialogue. I usually use dialogue to minimally describe the character and location or plant the information in the action between the dialogue. I find it more interesting to see it through the character's POV instead just describing it. I let the reader fill in the blanks.

What's more exciting?

"Oh my God! I can't make it across that rickety wooden bridge! There's ****ing holes in the boards and there's crocodiles down there!" Adam glanced to his left. "Mark, you go first then Sarah and I'll take the rear."

OR

Adam, Mark and Sarah skidded to a stop in front of a wooden bridge spanning the gorge. The rickety wooden bridge had several holes in several places. They looked over and saw crocodiles sunning themselves on the rocks below.

Adam nervously ran his hand through his hair. "Mark, you go first then Sarah and I'll take the rear."


As for flowery prose, I can do, but prefer not to when it's not absolutely necessary. I'd rather do it poetically than that kind of prose.

6) There's nothing in the universe more freeing than the knowledge that you only have 24 hours to live.


I really like this one. Just cuz Jack's on your trail. :lol: Or is this a Mulder and Scully case? ;)

Oh, is Ratboy in the ditch too? :drool:



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