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Icy's Mini's


8 replies to this topic

#1
Iceheart

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I have no idea where I'm going with this one, lol!

Part 1 – Love


“I'm in love.”

“Of course you are. That's why we dressed you up in white, and I have custom dyed petal pink pumps and half a bag of leftover penis-shaped lollipops to suck on.” Sandra rested her chin in her cupped hand and grinned.

Kara smiled a small, guarded smile. She took a sip of coffee, and played a little with her napkin.

“We went bowling last night. We bowled a couple of games, drank a few beers, had a lot of laughs. We ended up at that 24-hour coffee shop on 32nd. We didn't even feel the need to light up ourselves, it was so smoky. It was when we were leaned in close to talk over our espressos, and he started running his fingertips up and down the inside of my arm. I looked in his eyes, and I knew. I'm in love. And he is, too.”

“Ah, newlywed bliss. L'amour. How romantic.”

“Sandra? I'm... not talking about Jake.”




edits: tense issues and word overusage. Oh, the ongoing self-beta.

Edited by Iceheart, 05 March 2009 - 03:04 PM.


#2
Copper

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You're totally doing it right!

haha, love the last sentence!

#3
Iceheart

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Oh thank heavens! When I read the contest description over again, I didn't know if serializing the story was okay.

Thanks! :D

#4
Brando

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I think this is so good. I'm really in awe of both you and Copper right now.

#5
Iceheart

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Aw, thanks Brando!

#6
Iceheart

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I had a terrible time containing this to 175 words :P

Part 2 – Apathy

Jake had a bouquet of daffodils in hand. Daffodils were the first flowers that he had ever given Kara. He knew she loved them.

Something had been wrong for a few weeks now. Kara was nowhere to be seen as Jake entered the house. The lukewarm remains of dinner were on the stove. Kara had obviously eaten without him. Jake could hear the familiar staccato sound of her typing in the office.

“Happy Wednesday, honey” Jake said as he went into the room and held the flowers out to her. She didn't look up from the screen.

“I... don't know what's wrong, Kara, but I'm willing to do anything to make it right again. Really.” Kara gave no response.

“Please, just talk to me!” Kara wouldn't even meet his eyes.

Kara's mood stayed the same for the rest of the evening, right up to when she got into bed and rolled away from Jake's embrace. Jake lay awake all night, wondering what had happened.

#7
Copper

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haha, what a bitch!

#8
Kokeshi_Doll769

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omg I love the last line of your first installment.

and I agree about the bitch thing.

#9
Antilla

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I like how you had virtually all dialogue in your first installment. That was a good idea.



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