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Unnamed to Protect No One


11 replies to this topic

#1
ElfinYoda

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I believe I have the required five elements, so here is mine little ditty... I think this is the shortest story I have written yet, coming in at a paltry 690 words. This one will be known as, "Unnamed to Protect No One", since I could not think of anything else. :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





The rain was pouring down in buckets, flooding low lying areas. In some spots, the fog was as thick as pea soup and in other spots, non-existent. But the rain and fog did not deter anyone from going to the local mall. Inside, it was cozy and warm, buzzing with noise of mish mashed origins. It is almost like the mall is a universe unto itself.

Of course it is a universe unto its self. Once your inside the mall, the outdoors becomes non-existent, just all the walls with holes in them for stores, eateries, bathrooms and such. There might be greenery within the mall, in a vain effort to brighten up the brick and mortar of the malls existence, but not enough to simulate the out doors.

And the noise! People chatting, shouting, laughing; piped in music in the main thorough fares of the mall, plus music pumping from the stores; the sounds of alarms going off as people exit/enter a store or try to shop lift. Mish mashed. Sometimes the noise comes off as a low gurgling, only to crescendo into ear tingling madness. There is nothing in this universe of the mall to absorb the noise, it just bounces off the walls and ceilings, around corners and bends. It is a noise that can stick with you long after you leave, bruising your brain and if your not careful, turning your brain into mush.

Right now a gaggle of High School girls, wearing too tight jeans and ultra revealing tanks, are hooting and calling to another gaggle of girls a few yards ahead of them. It is mostly jovial hooting and calling, with oohs and aaahs as they spy clothing and accessories in the store windows. One girl named Serena screamed loudly enough to wake up the dead, or bored, because she saw something in Victoria’s Secret that was just to die for. Which then had the two gaggle of girls melding into a swarming mass of hysterics over the item. After a few minutes of the dramatic appreciation, some of the gaggle decided to go into the store to see the item first hand.

There is a dinky little store down one of the smaller, rarely traversed corridors of the mall that housed clocks and watches and things having to do with time keeping. In front of the shop was a red headed woman clutching a small cuckoo clock. As she hiccupped sobs, she told her male companion that this had been the third clock repair shop who told her that her clock was not repairable. New tears made trace down Red’s cheeks, the cuckoo clock having sentimental value to the woman. Her companion murmured appropriate responses and Red calmed down enough for the two to exit the mall into the deluge happening outside; the precious, but broken cuckoo clock cradled sadly in her arm under the shelter of her rain coat.

Back at one of the big box stores that anchors one major corner of the mall, a toddler was having a major meltdown in the women’s lingerie aisle. The Mother seemed too absorbed in trying to decide which bra and panty set was the better value for her money. The toddler, totally melted and tired of being ignored, decided to take whatever lingerie was in reach and toss them off their hangers to the floor. It was a good two minutes before the Mother even noticed the small mountain of panties, bras and slips and that her toddler was actually being quiet. Without much thought of being embarrassed, the Mother produced a box of Runt’s Freckled Eggs from her bag of never ending tricks and handed them off to the toddler. Once the toddler had hold of the Freckled Eggs and was stuffing them into it’s mouth, the Mother went back to the business of deciding what to buy. The small mountain of tossed woman’s under things lay dejected and forgotten.

The salesperson in charge of the lingerie aisle could be heard muttering colorful metaphors under her breath as she cleaned up the aftermath of the toddler’s meltdown. The Mother never bought a thing.

#2
Nixie

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:lol: i loved this! at first i didnt like that you keep us at arms lengh but the more i think about it i dont think the last line - my favorite - would work any other way. so good choice!

#3
ElfinYoda

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:lol: Thanks Nixie!! :D I like the last line mine self!

I still think something is missing from this piece, but can't put a finger on it. Oh well, as long as it reads well. :D

#4
Copper

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Another solid effort from you Elfie!

I loved how you described the noise of the mall- it's so true!

:thumbsup:

#5
ElfinYoda

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Thanks Copper! The noise is one of the reasons I don't go into malls, if it can be helped.

#6
Thomas Alan

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Forgive the OCD, but can a big box store be at the mall?

#7
IMericka

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I would say that stores like Walmart and Smart & Final qualify as big box stores, and both are in malls here. I've never seen a warehouse store like a Costco or Ikea in a mall though.

Nice work Elfie! your descriptions are funny AND accurate :)

#8
Antilla

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About Runt's Freckled Eggs-

Where can I buy them?

How much do they cost?

Are they available in malt?

#9
ElfinYoda

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Forgive the OCD, but can a big box store be at the mall?


Around here, the big box stores that anchor malls are: Sears, JC Penny, Macy's and so on. A lot of the smaller stores in a mall can also sometimes be found in small strip malls and are usually not very big. Make sense? :)


I would say that stores like Walmart and Smart & Final qualify as big box stores, and both are in malls here. I've never seen a warehouse store like a Costco or Ikea in a mall though.

Nice work Elfie! your descriptions are funny AND accurate :)


Thanks Ericka!! :D I was hoping it would be funny! I was not going for accuracy, except mine own. I am glad that others share a mutual feeling to the noise in a mall! :lol:

Oh, and actually, the one Ikea here on the Island is attached to a mall up in Hicksville. :)


About Runt's Freckled Eggs-

Where can I buy them?

How much do they cost?

Are they available in malt?


Runt's Freckled Eggs come out at Easter time. Please to read more about them here. I'm sure you can find them wherever candy is sold, during the aforementioned time of year. :)

I have no clue. What are they worth to you? And in this economic calamity we seem to be swirling in, will you be able to afford such a seasonable item? Or wait, did you come up with a way to use Runts Freckled Eggs to fuel your vehicle? If so, do share!

Malt? Thankfully, no. Not that the fruity flavors offered are any better, but I don't like malt. :P

Edited by ElfinYoda, 14 October 2008 - 07:38 PM.


#10
Antilla

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did you come up with a way to use Runts Freckled Eggs to fuel your vehicle?


Yes.

I did.

Sort of.

The catch is that your vehicle must be a bicycle. Or otherwise human propelled.

#11
Copper

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MOOOOOOO-PEEEEEEEEED!

#12
Sonny

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Very nice entry Elfin. I enjoyed this and did not notice anything "missing."



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