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29 replies to this topic

#1
Kung Fu Jawa

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April 13, 2015
Dear Diary,
Today, I AM A WOMAN! Thatís right, I finally got my period! Itís so great. Actually, itís really a little gross, but itís so exciting, it makes up for the hassle. It happened right after gym class. I was changing out of my gym clothes when I noticed a little red blotch. That stupid Mandy acted so cool because she thought she was the first one in class to get hers, (Beth was, but she was too embarrassed to tell anybody but me) but now sheís not the only mature woman out there. I wish I had a camera when I saw the look on her face when I asked her for a pad. HILARIOUS! I wish Beth was here to see it. Sheís been out almost a week now.

Edited by Kung Fu Jawa, 21 March 2007 - 01:03 PM.


#2
Kung Fu Jawa

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April 14, 2015
Dear Diary,
First the good news: Mandy was out sick today. She must have been so upset by the challenge of another woman, she fell ill. HA!

Now, the even better news: Matt Taylor looked at me! Heís such a fox! I was sitting in Algebra, two rows over and three chairs back and he actually TURNED AROUND to look at me. He must have caught a whiff of my new pheromones. He gave me the sweetest smile! He has the most perfect teeth Iíve ever seen. I didnít know what to do so I picked my book up and buried my face in it. Iím such a dork! I wanted to cry. Beth was absent again today and I really wish I could have talked to her. Iíll call her tonight.

Dear Diary,
No one answered at Bethís. I hope everythingís okay.

#3
Kung Fu Jawa

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April 15, 2015

I am SO embarrassed! Wait till you hear this! I woke up this morning with a honkiní ďNorth StarĒ zit on my forehead. Mom said she could hardly see it, but sheís just being Mom. She did let me borrow some of her base so I could cover it up. Her skinís a little lighter than mine, but itís better than nothing, I guess. You can still see a light colored lump smack in the middle of my head.

Matt was wearing his awesome denim jacket today, you know, the one with all the patches sewn on it. It was kind of hot today, so Iím surprised he had it on, but he looks so handsome in it Iím glad he wore it.

I went by Bethís on the way home. I rang and rang the bell, but no one ever opened up. Butchy didnít even bark. She would have told me if they were going on vacation or anything. Maybe Principal Jackson knows something. Iíll ask her tomorrow.

Edited by Kung Fu Jawa, 21 March 2007 - 01:06 PM.


#4
Kung Fu Jawa

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April 16, 2015
Dear Diary.
Zitís bigger today. It couldnít get more attention if it where glowing. I saw Matt coming towards me in the hall, but I ditched into the girlís restroom. I donít want him to see me like this. I hope he stays interested till this goes away.

I went to talk to Principle Jackson today. There were two men leaving her office with one of those big cardboard boxes, I think they call it a Ďbankerís boxí for some reason. They looked retarded, like they were trying to be men in black or the blues brothers or something. I asked Principal Jackson if she knew anything about Beth. Get thisÖ she said that they moved to Nebraska. Nebraska?! Why didnít she tell me they were moving? Some best friend she turned out to be. Maybe her dad is really a CIA agent or something. I really wanted to tell her about Mandy (whoís still absent, btw).

Edited by Kung Fu Jawa, 21 March 2007 - 01:08 PM.


#5
Kung Fu Jawa

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April 17. 2015
Dear Diary,
If this keeps up, Iím going to have to name this zit. What was the witchís name in the Wizard of Oz? Glenda? No, that was the good one. ARRR! It itches!!! Since when do zits itch? Mandy would be a good name for a witch. Speaking of Mandy, Maybe the monoís going around because her boyfriend, Todd wasnít at school today either. Neither was Zach. AnywaysÖ

Matt must know how much I like that jacket. Heís worn it all week. I think he really likes me. I can tell heís been trying to talk to me for a couple of days. Why wonít Hagrid go away!?! Thatís not right either.

Diary- Elphaba! (It came to me when I was going to sleep)

Edited by Kung Fu Jawa, 21 March 2007 - 01:08 PM.


#6
Kung Fu Jawa

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April 20, 2015
Dear Diary,
Elphaba the Zit has been eating her wheaties. Sheís HUGE! She itches all the time, sheís gotten hard, and I canít pop her! Itís so disgusting.

Despite her presence, Matt is still interested. He passed me a note in Algebra. This is what it says:

We need to talk. 11:00 tonight. Haunted Barn.

Isnít he poetic?! Itís like a haiku! Itís so exciting! Iíll have to sneak out, but thatís no problem. But why that creepy barn? I guess he knows that no one will be around. I wonder what he wants to talk about? What if wants to do more than talk? Maybe heíll have roses and wine and a blanket and heíll be real romantic and weíll make out all night long! I can hardly wait! What am I going to wear?

Diary,
He wasnít there. This was all some big joke! WHY DID BETH HAVE TO LEAVE ME!! I need her so much right now. I donít even want to go to school tomorrow.

Edited by Kung Fu Jawa, 21 March 2007 - 01:07 PM.


#7
Kung Fu Jawa

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April 21, 2015
Dear Diary.

Matt didnít show his ugly face today. I bet he feels terrible for toying with me like that. I hope he does! Lying bastard. Heíll get his.

Elphaís really grossing me out. Momís going to take me to the dermatologist next week. Sheís bigger than ever, all dried out, and starting to crack. I canít stop messing with her.

I think thereís some kind of epidemic going on. The school seems half empty. Either monoís real contagious or somebody had a Ďlove-iní themed birthday party and didnít invite me. I bet it was that ***** Stacy. Sheís the one whoÖÖ.

#8
Kung Fu Jawa

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May 1(?), 2015

I donít have much time to write this and so much has happened. The last time I wrote in this diary, I was interrupted by the two men I saw in Principle Jacksonís office. They barged into my room and hit me with this weird stick. The next thing I remember Iím on a bed in this white room with all these monitors hooked up to me. My head hurt, but I couldnít move it or my hands or anything else. There was this doctor looking guy next to the bed. He told me to stay calm. I had been unconscious for over a week. They were just doing a few tests and the restraints were there for my own safety. My eyes adjusted to the light and I peered back towards some shadow when I saw it. I had a foot long horn coming out of my head! I started freaking out, the doctor shouted for someone and everything went dark again.

The next thing I know Iím awake in a different room. This oneís gray with one barred window. As I sit there crying, wondering what the hellís going on, I hear something at the window. I look up and see Matt and Beth there. Her hands grab the bars and rip them from the wall! Matt yells at me to come on. As I get to them, I see that weíre about ten stories up and Matt is flying! He has these glorious webbed wings sprouting from his back! They look like bat wings, except it looks like regular, human skin stretched over them. He throws one arm around my waist and holds Beth in the other and we fly off to safety.

He tells me that there are hundreds of people like us popping up all over the place and that the government is trying to suppress us. Thatís who had me. There were a few who got away and are trying to get organized. Thatís where we are heading now. They will give us shelter and hopefully help us understand what is happening.

Beth tells me that Mandy is there and is one of the leaders (gag!) She gave them orders not to save me, that it was too risky, but Matt told her to **** off. God, he really is dreamy.

#9
Undome Telcontar

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lol. that's awesome. do we get a chapter 2?

dammit, i knew it wasn't the end!

#10
Kung Fu Jawa

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Sorry Undome, and anyone else who is reading before I fixed it.

While I was being oh-so-clever, I left out the entry for the 15th. I had to go back and fix it. SO if it didn't make sense, it should now. It worked without it, but it's the intro to the zit and Matt's jacket.

Undome: No that's all there is. For the rest, tune into NBC on Mondays starting April 23rd.

#11
Jedi Jami

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Whoa, what the hell? That better not be the end! Is it just me, or is anyone else thinking of Kafka? Lol.

#12
Undome Telcontar

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to be honest, i was thinking slightly less high brow- x men... :lol:

but yeah, i certainly want to see it expanded, even if you rewrite and ditch the diary style... :D

#13
bonnie13

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Ah, it read like an X-File spoiler (of which I am currently watching the entire season on DVD)

I liked the Diary style

#14
Undome Telcontar

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so did i, but maybe for writing a novel or short story (say 15000 words), it might get tedious to both read and write. i don't know, really.

#15
Kung Fu Jawa

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I really had a problem with it at the end. I wanted to show all that stuff as it happened, but it would have been weird to just dump the style for the ending. If it were to be expanded, I'd use it as an intro. The next chapter would be a kid closing the diary and putting it back on the shelf in the school library next to the Diary of Anne Frank. Then he'd go about his business. I guess the whole thing would be a history of the next evolutionary step seen through flashbacks and history lessons and such.

#16
Undome Telcontar

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sounds like a good idea to me. :thumbsup:

#17
Copper

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I really liked this. You got into her head very well. The diary style was effective. I love that she named her 'zit', and the little observations she made that turned out to be pivotal plot points (the two men, and Matt's jacket). I think the ending is perfect. It leaves you wondering, but not necessarily needing more.

Good job, Carl. :thumbsup:

#18
Richcelt

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Diary entries over several posts. Hmmm. Interesting. It confused me at first, but it totally works now that I've seen the whole thing. I don't think I can add much more to what's already been said, so I'll just say, "Good job!" :D :thumbsup:

#19
LadyGuinevere

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Interesting approach! :) Considering I'm fairly sure you've never actually been a teenage girl going through puberty, I think you did a pretty darn good job :thumbsup: I love the zit theme going on through it. I was rather reminded of X-men as well, and it does leave you plenty of scope to explore further if you so chose.

April 17. 2015
Dear Diary,
If this keeps up, Iím going to have to name this zit. What was the witchís name in the Wizard of Oz? Glenda? No, that was the good one. ARRR! It itches!!! Since when do zits itch? Mandy would be a good name for a witch. Speaking of Mandy, Maybe the monoís going around because her boyfriend, Todd wasnít at school today either. Neither was Zach. AnywaysÖ

Matt must know how much I like that jacket. Heís worn it all week. I think he really likes me. I can tell heís been trying to talk to me for a couple of days. Why wonít Hagrid go away!?! Thatís not right either.

Diary- Elphaba! (It came to me when I was going to sleep)


^ this is my favourite one. Typical flitting between trains of thought without settling on anything for very long :thumbsup:

I just had a thought... did we ever find out her name? We know a lot about her, but not her name, lol :)

#20
ShadowDog

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I really liked this! Very interesting presentation, nice depth (especially considering the diary format), and an interesting story! Top notch dude! Of course, I've come to expect nothing less from you.

Edited by ShadowDog, 21 March 2007 - 10:57 PM.


#21
Axiom

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Excellent job dude. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

#22
Kung Fu Jawa

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Thanks for the praise guys. It's not as somber as my usual stuff because certain members *coughShadowdogcough* think I'm depressing and a departure was in order.

Considering I'm fairly sure you've never actually been a teenage girl going through puberty, I think you did a pretty darn good job.


I just had a thought... did we ever find out her name? We know a lot about her, but not her name, lol :)



Thanks. It was kind of hard. I tried to keep the language simple and the thought process flighty (not because she's a girl, mind you). I was afraid that by doing that, it would make me look like a bad writer, but I couldn't have this junior high kid talking like a 30-something. I drew the line at intentional mispellings and wrong to vs. too and things like that. Any of those are honest faults.

No we don't know her name. I would hope her Diary already knows who she is.

#23
ShadowDog

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Thanks for the praise guys. It's not as somber as my usual stuff because certain members *coughShadowdogcough* think I'm depressing and a departure was in order.


Hey! Richcelt actually came out and SAID you were depressing. I merely implied it. ;)

#24
Kung Fu Jawa

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Hey! Richcelt actually came out and SAID you were depressing. I merely implied it. ;)

Okay, you're right. "Depressing" came from Richcelt, but I refer you to the following sarcasm:

You know, Kung Fu Jawa, any time I'm depressed I can always count on one of your stories to cheer me up! ;)

"Always". You said "always."

#25
ShadowDog

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:lol: I was teasing. Com'ereaminute, got something for ya. :flirt:



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