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Borrowed Time


8 replies to this topic

#1
GreenLightBaby

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SD, I had emailed you this entry before the deadline since I couldn't post this until now. A bloody 45 minutes before Nightly would even load up in IE or Firefox.

Didn't have enough time to polish it up. Grrr...

~*~*~*~*~*~

Borrowed Time

He cast a furtive glance around his surroundings. Nothing was amiss. His mouth instinctually latched onto the delicate flesh beneath him. A low moan escaped from his throat. Everything was right in the world.

A muffled female laugh reverberated through his chest. "A nibble?" More laughter.

He reluctantly detached his mouth from her neck. "Shush. You're ruining the moment."

She put her left hand across her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles. The sunlight reflected off her new gold wedding band. "Stop… embarrassing me."

He licked her under her right earlobe before whispering into her ear. She turned bright red from his words.

A smug male smile appeared on his face. "What's the matter, dear wife? Wife… that sounds so good rolling off my tongue." His right arm snaked around her waist. A gesture proclaiming 'Mine.'

"We need a room now." She rubbed her right foot up the side of his left leg.

He bit off a curse, glaring at her. "You're killing me."

"Tickets please."

He pulled out a pair from his jacket pocket without taking his eyes off her. "Here you are, my good man." He kissed her on the cheek.

"Not in front of everyone, honey." She turned his head toward the man.

"Your room is ready. I assume you want complete privacy." He winked at them.

She blushed as her arm went around his waist. "Yes, sir. We would appreciate it."

He tore off a piece of each ticket before returning them to him. "First train trip?"

"No, sir, just one more exciting." Her smile reached into her eyes.

"Very well, madam, sir. Welcome aboard."

He held out a hand to help her step up the stairs.

"Thank you again, sir."

"You're very welcome, ma'am."

"Do you have any luggage, sir?"

"No luggage, just this one carry-on." He tapped it lightly before getting on.

He leaned close. "Sir, the room is soundproof. Enjoy."

"Coming, dear?" She tapped her foot impatiently.

"Coming." He winked at the ticketmaster before going to her.

He was tempted to grab her and throw her over his shoulder. Her high heels kept getting stuck in the carpet. She'd balk at him and call him "Neanderthal."

Five minutes later, he carried his new bride across the threshold. "See it wasn't that bad." He gently dropped her to her feet.

"Too many clothes." She ripped at his shirt buttons, sending two across the room.

"Whoa!" He lightly pulled her hands away from him.

She pouted as she dropped her arms to her side. "I'm not a horse. You can't tell me those things and not get excited."

He let go of her hands, taking a step back. He ran into the edge of a table. "I hope you don't mind the accommodations on this train car. There wasn't another one open since they were booked solid."

"Stop apologizing. I'm not complaining."

"I'm sorry I can't give you all your dreams." He waved his hand in front of him. "I didn't dream of our wedding day like this. We talked about a big wed – "

"I don't care about those dreams. All I want is to be with you. Only with you. Nothing else matters."

This had come up several times. He talked. She screamed. Impasse once again.

He momentarily winced from her sharp words. "Are you sure of that? I can't giv –"

Her fingertips slid down his hands
Fingertips to wrists
I love you

His fingertips slid down her hands
Fingertips to wrists
I'll protect you

Palm to palm contact
Sliding in opposite directions
Separate – we live in different worlds

Interlaced fingers
Together – we are our world
Death will never break apart our love

"Enough talk. I want your dress off. Now." He grabbed at the shiny buttons that made a line down the center of her yellow sundress. "Forty buttons… from neck to thigh."

"Don't you dare rip it like the others. I love this dress and it's very expensive."

"Dammit, I can't get these buttons off!" They kept slipping in his large hands.

She smirked as she took hold of his shaking hands. "They're only decorations. Zipper's in the back."

"You're going to pay for this, my wife." His hands immediately went behind her.

"I'm going to love it when you punish me, my husband." Her hands speared through his hair.

"Victory is mine!" He pushed the dress of her shoulders, watching it fall to the floor. His eyes went back up. "Dammit. I forgot about that." A black catsuit sheathed her body.

She kicked the dress into the corner. "You forget a lot of things, don't you?" She twirled around, shaking her hips several times.

His eyes glazed over, mesmerized by her movements. "What?"

She broke his trance. Following her eyes, he turned around briefly. He saw a package on the edge of the table he had bumped into earlier.

His eyes locked onto hers. "It's from her." Placing his index finger vertically across her lips, he silenced her. "Tomorrow can wait."

The train lurched forward, tumbling them into the bed.

The box slipped and clattered to the floor, spilling its contents. A matching set of Glocks. A rose inscribed near the safety on hers. A photo of their next target.

#2
Richcelt

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Mr. and Mrs. Smith? ;)

The ending's a little obscure (to me), but seems well done none-the-less. Good job. Way to beat the buzzer! :thumbsup:

#3
Kung Fu Jawa

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Cool. We've had a plane, a couple of cars, a bus, legs, and now a train to round it out. If you had gone on I could see a whole "Murder on the Orient Express" thing happening. The pacing felt a little off for me, but good portrayal of the newlywed personas. Lots of *wink wink nudge nudge* going on.

#4
Nixie

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victoriy is mine! :lol: i liked the back and forth and i liked this. :thumbsup:

#5
Copper

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As always, I enjoy your writing. You use dialogue excellently. There was one part that confused me though:

"Too many clothes." She ripped at his shirt buttons, sending two across the room.

"Whoa!" He lightly pulled her hands away from him.

She pouted as she dropped her arms to her side. "I'm not a horse. You can't tell me those things and not get excited."


I don't understand the abrupt change of mood in these lines and the ones immediately following.

Other than that, it was an interesting and good story :)

#6
GreenLightBaby

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Thanks for the comments.

Regarding the pacing, I had to slow it down. What better way then start an argument to show a little more of the characters? Without that argument, little would be known about the characters other than they were newlyweds who are either spies or assassins. I wanted to show that they weren't the cold-blooded killers they had to portray themselves in public. There is more to them than just the job.

Borrowed time is all that these two have. They have one day between assignments. The only time they have for each other. The only time to hash everything out before returning to the reality of their lives.

I'm suprised that no one has mentioned something about the missing carry-on and what exactly happened in the five minutes prior to them reaching their compartment. ;)

As for the photo... well I'm thinking it's Scott and Kathy's wedding photo, but who really knows with these two. ;)

#7
ShadowDog

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This was good! The interplay between the two of them suggested a lot and was a lot of play and fun.

"Enough talk. I want your dress off. Now." He grabbed at the shiny buttons that made a line down the center of her yellow sundress. "Forty buttons… from neck to thigh."


ROTFLMMAO!!!

#8
LadyGuinevere

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I did wonder what had happened to the luggage, lol!

One thing that did confuse me though.... how was she managing to hide a black catsuit underneath a yellow sundress? :shrug:

I liked how you manage to convey the more lighthearted part of their relationship :) We learnt a lot about their new marriage in a short amount of time :)

#9
GreenLightBaby

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I did wonder what had happened to the luggage, lol!

One thing that did confuse me though.... how was she managing to hide a black catsuit underneath a yellow sundress? :shrug:


Sorry LadyG, I didn't see your reply.

As for the lugggage... they got rid of some evidence. ;)

Uh... the yellow fabric was thick and the catsuit was sheer, barely there. ;)


This was a fun piece to write. I had this idea for another story, but the two characters would never have acted like these two.



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