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Falling Into Place


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#1
GreenLightBaby

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Falling Into Place

She scanned the night sky. "I don't believe in fairy tales anymore… no happy endings and happily ever after."

He followed her gaze. "You used to believe in all that."

She turned around. "Until I lost you."

"I'm here now… you gotta believe. No one's going to get to you unless they go through me."

"That's what Scott said and look what happened to him. Dammit, it's not fair!"

"I'll believe for the both of us. We'll get through this together." He pulled her into his protective embrace. "Remember that first book I got for you? That author friend of mine?"

"I still have it. I couldn't part with it. I couldn't lose you again."

"That's a very special book. One of the first off the presses and autographed." He turned her around to see her face.

"Her first love left her at the altar for some stupid reason that I can't remember." She stared at the buttons of his shirt, unable to meet his gaze. "Two years later, she fell in love with another guy and married him. She finds out that her husband murdered her first love because he was a criminal. I wasn't expecting that ending." She looked up.

"Don't look at me like that. I didn't kill Scott. You know I didn't do it."

"I don't know anything anymore." She absently twisted a strand of hair near her left ear.

He knew her nervous gesture. "They think you're dead. You have to stay that way for now."

She glanced at her empty ring finger. "Like you?"

The accusation ripped into his heart. "I had to protect you."

"Don't you dare walk away from me again."

"I'm sorry – I had to do it that way."

"Ten years Travis. That was ten years ago!" She punctuated each word with a poke at his chest. "Our twelfth anniversary is today or don't you remember?"

"I remembered Kathy. I had no choice. The only option."

More pokes. "They said you died. I mourned you for five years!"

"You had Scott. He was there for you."

"I wanted you… I needed you… I wanted to die… I almost did." The anger was gone. Sadness took its place. She leaned against him for support as she watched the clouds cover the stars.

He moved his hands down from her arms and placed his palms lightly on her abdomen. In the past, this soothed her when she was upset.

She pushed his hands away. "Please don't."

"You're shaking – what's wrong?" Unsure what to do, he shoved his hands into his pockets.

She leaned forward and grabbed the windowsill. "Travis, you never should have come back. You should have stayed dead."

"You don't mean that, Kathy. I want to hold you… only if you want. Dammit Kathy, talk to me. I'm here now."

"For how long… before you abandon me again?" She looked at the stars that had peeked through the clouds.

"If you tell me to leave, I will."

"How long will you stay away?"

"Forever."

"Don't make promises –"

"I won't keep. I'll keep this one."

She took several deep breaths to calm her shaking slightly. She turned around and sat on the edge of the windowsill, her right arm around her midsection. She stared at her muddy boots. "The day you died… I drove to the hospital… it was raining so hard… I was crying… I didn't see…"

"Didn't see what?"

She looked up and saw something flicker across his face. It was gone when she blinked back her tears. "No one told you?"

"Kathy, you're not making sense. I don't know what happened to you after I disappeared. I couldn't…" The words died in his throat when a haunted look appeared on her face.

A low whisper. "You never followed up?" Her lower lip quivered.

"No. I didn't dare. If I saw you… we'd both be dead. I know I should have, but I couldn't."

She focused on her boots. "I woke up at the hospital a few days later. I don't remember how I got there. All I know is that I was in a car accident…"

"Kathy, look at me."

She looked up and held his questioning gaze. "Travis, the doctor said that he was sorry that he couldn't save our baby."

He took a step back. "Our baby?"

She grabbed his arm. "Yes, our baby." She pulled him toward her.

He couldn't look at her. Not now. "If I knew…"

"I know you'd come back." She wiped his tears. The first time she had seen him cry. He didn't shed any tears at his mother's funeral even though they were very close.

He brushed her lips with his. His gesture of thanks.

A shot in the dark. Glass shattering. A body falls.

Darkness clawed at her, pulling her down. Realization dawned on her as she whispered, "The end –"

#2
Copper

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This is awesome! My idea pales in comparison, lol :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

#3
Nixie

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very good! i like the flourishes you added like the twisting the hair and stuff. very cool! :)

#4
Richcelt

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Really good. I also liked the details. The ending seems a bit rushed and a bit obscure to me, but on the whole it's a good job. :thumbsup:

#5
Cerina

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:thumbsup: :thumbsup"

Two thumbs up! Fine holiday fun!

Sorry, I'm still in Clueless mode. :shrug:

But that was still damn good.

#6
Ven Halcyon

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Yeah - i think to say the same as Rich here - ending came on a bit faster than I was expecting it to - think you could have built it up more! But then I think I did the same thing!

#7
GreenLightBaby

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Really good. I also liked the details. The ending seems a bit rushed and a bit obscure to me, but on the whole it's a good job. :thumbsup:


I thought Travis leading her back to the cave behind the waterfall would be rather gratutious since that's where they just came from. Remember Kathy's muddy boots? ;) Though the shower would be more expedient.

I purposely left the ending vague. I had several ideas on the ending with this one winning out.

I like to give the readers a scenario and let their imaginations piece it together. I find that's more satisfying to me as a writer. If the reader takes a minute to think about what the story, then I've done my job.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--
It was Travis' intent to give her one more chance to change his mind. She never told him "I love you" which was what he wanted to hear. She blew that chance.

With the revelation of the baby, it stopped him for a minute. It made him harder to go through with his plan to pin Scott's death on her. He knew if he thought about the child any longer, he couldn't kill her. So he did it then.

What happened? Travis shot her at point blank range. Remember his hands in his pockets? The bullet went through her and broke the window behind her. She fell out of the two story cabin. Travis later pulled her back inside and lit the cabin.

His alibi: Someone set the cabin on fire. Kathy got shot by a sniper as they sought a way out. She fell backwards through the glass as he tried to grab her. He got out of there before the place burned down.

I think he'd get off "Scott-free".

As a reader, I wanted more of this story so I feel cheated of a more complete story like what was Travis' motivation for killing Kathy.

As a writer, I wish I could explore more of what happened before this and what happens after. I grabbed several lines from another fic of mine. I guess that's cheating in a way.

#8
Richcelt

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I think my problem was that I wasn't exactly sure who shot whom.

#9
LadyGuinevere

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I think I had the same problem, until I re-read the last line very, very carefully.

I can't help thinking there's more to this story than we can see. It's like a brief snippet designed to bring you in to a larger whole. I like it though :)

#10
Spawnxlite

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Whoa very good story. I like the dialogue.

#11
ShadowDog

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I think I'm one of the few who dug the vague ending. This is the kind of thing that either works for someone or it doesn't, and in my case it did. But I'm all about putting the reader to work anyway so it could just be me. :D In any case, good read!

#12
GreenLightBaby

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Thanks for the replies :) This story is a candidate for further musing and to be thrown on my tall "To Be Written Fic" pile. Very tall.

But I'm all about putting the reader to work anyway so it could just be me. :D


Wonder if you can finish my neverending story then for me? I'm stuck at writing a rescue mission, but knowing you, you'd want everyone dead except your character, correct? ;)



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