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WHY DID CLOSE BASTDOORS?


SITH LORD TARDWALKER
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I'll do you one better and say Star Wars itself:

public class Princess implements ExecutorService {

public static final Princess PADME = new Princess();

 

// private member

private StarShip ship;

 

private Princess() {

this.setDefaultLocale(Locale.EN);

Timer timer = new Timer();

TimerTask task = new TimerTask() {

public void run() {

Princess.this.changeHairStyle();

Princess.this.changeClothes();

}

};

timer.scheduleAtFixedRate(task, new Date(), 1000);

}

}

 

public class JediKnight implements ExecutorService {

public static final JediKnight ANAKIN = new JediKnight(false);

public static final JediKnight OBI_WAN = new JediKnight(false);

public static final JediKnight YODA = new JediKnight(true);

 

private JediKnight(boolean isYoda) {

if (!isYoda) {

this.setDefaultLocale(Locale.EN);

}

else {

Locale yodaLocale = Locale.EN;

this.setDefaultLocale(Utils.shuffle(yodaLocale));

}

this.setLightSabre(LightSabreFactory.getInstance());

this.setGoodLooking(!isYoda);

}

}

 

public class Sith {

public static final Sith LORD = new Sith();

 

private Sith() {

this.setDefaultLocale(Locale.EN);

this.setClothes(DarkRobeFactory.getInstance());

this.setLightSabre(LightSabreFactory.getInstance());

}

}

 

public static main() {

// The following line has been commented out so as not

// to confuse fans who never did it

 

// Utils.initChildren(JediKnight.ANAKIN, Princess.PADME);

 

// Use JDK 5.0 concurrency package

Future<Set<Child>> padmeFuture = Princess.PADME.submit(

new Callable<Set<Child>>() {

public Set<Child> call() {

try {

int weeks = (int)(36+4.0*Math.random());

wait(weeks*7*24*60*60*1000);

this = null;

System.gc();

}

finally() {

Child boy = new Child("Luke");

Child girl = new Child("Leia");

Set<Child> result = new HashSet<Child>();

result.add(boy);

result.add(girl);

return result;

}

}

}

);

 

if (JediKnight.ANAKIN.poll(padmeFuture) instanceof ThreadDeath) {

JediKnight.ANAKIN.alarm();

 

// use some marketing ideas

Sith.LORD.promise(JediKnight.ANAKIN, new RuntimePermission("object.restore.afterGC"));

Sith.LORD.promise(JediKnight.ANAKIN, new RuntimePermission("force.power.dark.*"));

Sith.LORD.promise(JediKnight.ANAKIN, new RuntimePermission("force.power.*"));

Sith.LORD.promise(JediKnight.ANAKIN, new RuntimePermission("force.*"));

 

JediKnight.ANAKIN.setInternalName("Darth Vader");

 

JediKnight.ANAKIN.promise(Princess.PADME, new RuntimePermission("*"));

 

Princess.PADME.alarm();

Princess.PADME.boardShip();

 

// Use JDK 5.0 concurrency package

Future<StarShip> anakinFuture =

JediKnight.OBI_WAN.submit(

new Callable<StarShip>() {

public RuntimePermission call() {

try {

Class princessClass = Princess.getClass();

Field shipField = princessClass.getDeclaredField("ship");

// will never throw SecurityException on Jedi Knight

shipField.setAccessible(true);

JediKnight.this.add(new RuntimePermission("object.ship.board.*"));

return (StarShip)shipField.get(Princess.PADME);

}

catch (SecurityException se) {

// never supposed to happen to Jedi Knight

System.out.println("Internal error. Contact George Lucas.");

System.reboot();

}

}

}

);

 

StarShip padmeShip = anakinFuture.call();

padmeShip.put(JediKnight.OBI_WAN);

 

JediKnight.ANAKIN.see(Princess.PADME);

Princess.PADME.removeLove(JediKnight.ANAKIN);

 

JediKnight.ANAKIN.see(JediKnight.OBI_WAN);

JediKnight.ANAKIN.removeLove(Princess.PADME);

 

JediKnight.OBI_WAN.removeLimbs(JediKnight.ANAKIN);

// note - absolutely no need for GC, Anakin will be collected automatically.

 

ReferenceQueue<JediKnight> sithWatchList = new ReferenceQueue<JediKnight>();

PhantomReference<JediKnight> anakinRef = sithWatchList.remove();

JediKnight anakinPhantom = anakinRef.get();

 

Sith DARTH_VADER = Sith.LORD.assemble(anakinPhantom, LimbFactory.getSpareInstances());

MouthPiece newMouthPiece = MouthPieceFactory.getInstance();

// no need to check that it works - guaranteed to work with no noise

DARTH_VADER.add(newMouthPiece);

DARTH_VADER.rise();

}

else {

// TODO - create alternative scenario for Sith revenge

}

}

 

how can any mother-loving person close on that?

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quote:

I just want to say that I have been posting at Nightly for 6 years, and RARELY has a thread I started made it to page three. Thanks guys.

I realise you original question was rhetorical... but I think it is also a record that the thread has reached page 3 without the original question having an answer attempted in any of it's replies.

 

So:

 

WHY DID CLOSE BASTDOORS?

 

I don't fecking know!

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