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Ultimate Television Quote Game


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#4001
Primbud

Primbud

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'I'm never going to make it through the day without an assistant - come on, you have to do it.'
-The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

#4002
Darth Dude

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"I don't HAVE to do anything!"

~ LOST

#4003
Iceman

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"Al, how am I supposed to do my job and yours? I tell ya, now I know how Hillary feels."

~ Married with Children

#4004
Darth Dude

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"I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me."

~ The X-Files

#4005
Iceman

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"Come on man. I know Sam, ok? Better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean the guy feels guilty searching the internet for porn."

~ Supernatural

#4006
Darth_Malfoy

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"Stand back son, there's a villain on the loose." (Leslie Nielsen)

~Due South

#4007
Darth Dude

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"My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad. There'd been a recent wave of gorgeous fashion models found naked and unconscious in laundromats on the West Side. Unfortunately, I was assigned to investigate holdups of neighborhood credit unions. I was across town doing my laundry when I got the call on the double killing. It took me twenty minutes to get there. My boss was already on the scene."

~ Police Squad

#4008
Darth_Malfoy

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"You have the right to an attorney and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill ya."

~Law & Order: SVU

#4009
Iceman

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"She was tore up from the floor up. I almost threw up."

~ Martin

#4010
Darth_Malfoy

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"The Great Orange hunter stalks his prey..... Ah, he sees it. The illusive loin of Pork the most prized catch in the refridgidary jungle. What's this?...."ALF don't eat this" Why would I eat this?..... Ever so deftly the great orange hunter maneuvers his weapon. He strikes.
*earthquake starts*
Whoa. Has the hunter angered the gods? Okay, I won't eat pork."

ALF

#4011
Iceman

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Lisa: “I’m going to become a vegetarian”
Homer: “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?”
Lisa: “Yes”
Homer: “Bacon?”
Lisa: “Yes Dad”
Homer: "Ham?”
Lisa: “Dad all those meats come from the same animal”
Homer: “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!”

~ The Simpsons

#4012
Darth_Malfoy

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"Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
*Homer looks puzzled*
Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?"

~Simpsons: Tree House of Horror III

#4013
Darth Dude

Darth Dude

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"Alright I've heard enough of this ****. The time for peaceful negotiations is over. You know the drill boys. Lock and load. Hoorah!"
"Hey Commander, this here tactical nuke is ready and on your go, baby."
"Hoorah! Alright you illegal alien asshats, listen up! You know what time it is? It's time to die!"
"Make sure you get the children too or they'll just grow up to become illegal aliens themselves."

~ Republican Space Rangers

#4014
Iceman

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"I know, I'll marry Lynn. Become a citizen. Vote, then drop her like a hot potato."

~ ALF

#4015
Darth Dude

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"I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other, you care about each other. It's wonderful. Plus, I love saying 'my wife'. Once I started saying it, I couldn't stop. 'My wife' this, 'My wife' that. It's an amazing way to begin a sentence."

~ Seinfeld

#4016
Darth_Malfoy

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"Honey, you can't let some nicks and cuts and contusions stop you from going. If I did that wouldn't go anywhere."

Home Improvement

#4017
Darth Dude

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"Up here, I'm already gone."

~ Seinfeld

#4018
Iceman

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"Jim Bob, just where do you think you're going?"

~ The Waltons

#4019
Darth_Malfoy

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"It's a weed wonderland, Nancy. It's like Amsterdam only you don't have to visit the Anne Frank house and pretend to be all sad and ****."

~Weeds

#4020
Iceman

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"It’s quite alright darling. No need to explain. It’s obvious that this gentleman doesn’t dig the modern generation."

~ The Brady Bunch

#4021
Darth Dude

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"Anyone who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop."

~ Gilligan's Island

#4022
Iceman

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"I could buy a decent used car right now. Or an amazingly thorough prostitute."

~ Undeclared

#4023
Darth_Malfoy

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"Serious **** calls for serious cash and your cash got a sense of humour."

Weeds