Ever since her parents died, my mother-in-law has been spiraling. She won't go to therapy. She's been stuck in the "angry" part of grief for almost a year. Damn near everything pisses her off these days. My sister-in-law and her fiance split up for about a month back in Sept/Oct, and my MIL acted like she was going through a divorce of her own. She was angry that my SIL didn't take all of her "advice". She was angry that she didn't see my nephew as often (she used to get him from school 3-4 days a week) during the split. She was angry that SIL and her fiance don't ask her to babysit and just assume she will. She was angry that SIL did and didn't invite her to Thanksgiving (I still don't understand that one tbh). She's so angry that she's decided to "disappear" in December and leave the state for Christmas. She almost didn't tell us where she was going, and she still hasn't told SIL that she's even leaving!
We had a hiccup trying to buy this house from her. The taxes increased so much from last year to this year that it priced us out of it. We can afford the insurance and P&I, but not the taxes anymore. When we told her that and tried to talk to her about our plans, she flipped her shit. Literally, we just wanted to tell her that Trevor is looking for a full-time job now and Luke is going to be going to public school for the foreseeable future, both of which we're pretty much on the horizon anyway because the rising costs of everything is putting a major strain on my salary and I haven't been with my boss long enough to really request a raise just yet. We're not happy about the lifestyle change, but oh well, life and all that. But anyway, she LOST. HER. SHIT. She accused us of trying to sell the house out from under her, threw a fit because she "just knows" that we blame her for not doing what we told her (homesteading the house and protesting the taxes)(and yeah, we kinda do blame her for that part a bit but whatevs, we didn't bring it up), and basically told us that she can't trust us because we're family and you can't trust family when dealing with money. THEN she tried to explain to us that it's not that she doesn't trust us, just that she has to verify all of our real estate knowledge with an outside source because that's what you do when you're on opposite sides of a transaction. But at least she admitted that my real estate knowledge is more robust and complete than hers and nothing we've told her so far has been false or misleading in any way. So it's like, it's not that she doesn't trust us just that we can't be trusted...
So 2 nights ago she came over so we could discuss this all in person to avoid any "confusion". Mostly the convo went well. But then she started telling us that SIL's fiance told her that our nephew is not allowed to spend the night at her house if she allows Trevor's currently incarcerated and estranged brother move in with her once he's released. She's angry about that too. Had a whole rant about how they don't trust her. And then we had to interrupt to tell her that our kids aren't allowed around Uncle Travis either. She lost custody of Travis when he was a toddler because she married a new guy who was in the army and got sent to Germany. Travis's dad (grandmother really) took her to court to keep her from taking Travis overseas for a year and won. Travis's dad is complete white trash - meth addict, conman, thief, in-and-out of jail, domestic abuser, etc. So Travis came out the same. Travis is 40, and two years ago when Trevor tried to reunite Travis and their mother, he brought his 15 year-old "stepdaughter" with him. After a few visits, it became apparent to pretty much everyone that he was actually sleeping with this girl. Trevor called the girl's mom who basically admitted that it was true and strongly hinted that she was pimping out the girl for meth from Travis. Travis's one and only sane blood relative, Aunt Theresa, also confirmed that her brother caught Travis and the girl in the act and beat the hell out of Travis for it. So Trevor called the police and Travis's PO (because he's pretty much in and out of jail all the time, he always has a PO), but neither could do anything without a complaining victim or solid evidence. Then Travis got popped with meth and wound up back in jail and is now in some work program. But he's been buttering up to my MIL, getting money from her, convincing her to send money to his fellow inmates ("it's so sad, he doesn't have anyone on the outside to send him money for commissary"), and now has nearly convinced her to let him move in with her when he's released. Basically, he has nowhere else to go, even his bat-shit insane blood relatives on his dad's side won't help him anymore, and he has to have an address to put on his parole papers to get out.
So the other night my increasingly disproportionally angrier and angrier mother-in-law told us, "you're saying if I help out my son, I lose my entire family". Not even sure how she made that leap. We kept telling her that that wasn't the case. She's a grown-ass woman and if she wants to help the son she didn't get to raise, that's commendable. We think she should proceed with caution, but it's admirable to want to help. We're all just saying that our underage children aren't going to be allowed around their meth-addicted pedo uncle until we see some serious changes in him. Still, she thinks that means that she has to choose between him or the rest of us. She's always welcome at our house (she still owns it!!), and is conditionally welcome at SIL's (the split did a number on their weird 3-way relationship), and we could always meet somewhere in public. But oh no! We're making her choose - her son or her grandsons (and yes, she specifically left off her daughter, her other son (Trevor), and me).
So shoot me now! At least *I* know that she won't be in town for Christmas, so we won't have to deal with this bullshit then. It's rare that my side of the family is the least drama-filled.