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Posts posted by Cerina

  1. 15 hours ago, Odine said:

    I dunno man...toxic fandom is not the (only or main) problem with Star Wars. To me, Making shit Star Wars seems to be Star Wars problem.

    No one in fandom would care about 'the message' or a 'woke agenda' being inserted into every iteration of the franchise if the actual content and stories were good. If the shows were good, no one would care and people would be happy. Look at Last of Us.. universally loved. It was great. House of the Dragon first season was well received. They told intesting and good stories, but they still met modern social/political/"woke" (I hate that word) targets but their primary focus was making a great product and telling a good story. Shogun- another amazing show that stuck to the source material, had consice vision and was amazingly received.

    Problem with Disney (Star Wars at least) is they put the social/political agenda/targets ahead of the story. Or they have creative decisions being made by executives and have shows written by committee. Or Disney want to make a profitable product before a good one. They put financial ahead of creative... Or all of the above. But whatever the combination it results in terrible stories and inferior products.(There are exceptions, I loved Obi-Wan and thought Andor was very good as well. And I enjoyed Mando to a point)

    The ST for example, Rey starts as a competent badass and finishes as a competent badass with a new name and a light saber. ZERO character development. ZERO heroic journey. 

    No one thinks TBOBF sucks because there are too many brown faces in it. It's that some genius decided to put a motor scooter gang in it and make Boba a good guy. What the fuck!? 

    People don't think the PT sucks because of diverse casting (and it did have diverse casting), the PT sucks for all the reasons the PT sucks... Shit CGI, terrible script, terrible acting direction, terrible writing. (Somehow I manage to remember it fondly in a weird way)

    My bet with the Acolyte is no one would care that the only white guy kills himself if the story is actually good. People see the trailers and can sense the agenda is being put in front of the desire to make something compelling and they get mad. Admittedly I haven't seen the Acolyte yet but I'm going to take a stab in the dark and assume it's pretty run of the mill, which was my sense after watching the trailer.

    But this  happens in gaming a lot. Products being made by massive teams with financial goals being put ahead of creative goals, and diversity and inclusion goals ahead of storytelling and fandom taking criticism for their reaction. It's why most games coming out of US studios for the last 10 years have sucked bags of dicks. And it's why a smaller team of Belgian devs, who focus on story and quality of product first, can come out with Baldurs Gate 3 and it's the greatest fucking game ever made.  

    Toxic Fandom, while it can be annoying, and personalities can be irritating (but you're gonna get that with such large fandoms), is an easy scape goat for massive corporations who polish diarrhea into a sparkling turd, serve it to consumers and expect them/us to be happy about it.


    My (almost) 16 yo went on basically the same rant the other night. He's turned into a bigger SW nerd than his dad and I ever were, and I also know that he's "woke" af. But he had a whole rant about not liking crap stories or crap writing in general and still being labeled sexist because of it. 

    We liked the first 2 episodes regardless though. Hoping this one doesn't run itself into the ground. 

  2. On 5/6/2024 at 10:32 PM, Destiny Skywalker said:

    Honestly, folks, she's never going to be one of the popular kids. I just want her to find her weird little tribe. I was definitely not cool in high school, middle school, or even elementary. But college was the best because I went to this nerdy little tech school where everyone had similar interests. I found my husband there, life long friends, etc. It makes it so much better when you have friends to share in the journey.

    I used to have this same worry about Noah. He's such a delightful weirdo mega-nerd. I always worried that if we ever got him away from our little homeschool/scouting social bubble he would have trouble finding people who didn't think he was a massive oddity. But lo and behold, after moving away he's found his own little tribe of weirdos at high school and several other kids at scouts that he gets along with well. 

    Q's a good kid. She'll find her tribe eventually. 

  3. They don't cover this one in the parenting books. 

    About a year ago, Trevor, Noah, and I were playing a board game (Hogwarts Battle). I was about to make an absolutely amazing and game winning move, when I drew the ONE card that could undo it all. It was heartbreaking. I refused to play the game for like a month after that. So ever since then we make jokes about how violated I felt by the game and Voldemort. 

    Fast forward to last night. Noah and I were chatting about something I don't even remember now, but it was semi-serious. Then this exchange happened. 

    Noah - Is it Hogwarts level bad?
    Me - Huh?
    Noah - The game. Remember?
    Me - Oh. Yeah. Worse than that. 
    Noah - Is that the most violated you've ever been?
    Me - ...dude. No. I'm a female who grew up in the 90s. I have definitely been more violated. 
    Noah - ...well now that makes me think you're talking about rape. Have you been raped, Mom?
    Me - What? No, bro. I've never been raped. 
    Noah - Oh...so what did you mean? How were you violated?
    Me - We'll have to have this conversation when you're a bit older. 

    This is really weird for us. I don't typically dodge questions from my kids like this. We've had more than our fair share of awkward conversations. So many of them that we no longer feel awkward talking about most things that teenagers don't like to discuss with their parents. 

    But I'm drawing a complete blank on how to explain the fact that I've been sexually assaulted like many women my age, but it wasn't something I even considered until I was older because that's just how things were at the time. Like, I've been groped and touched by so many people in so many different circumstances, but we were young. Things were different. Culturally these things were accepted and sometimes just expected. So I don't harbor any ill will for most of it, and I know that the boys who did these things have grown into men who probably had some uncomfortable realizations during the #metoo movement. I know many of these men now, and I know that they've grown and would never now. But in the late 90s/early 2000s? We all remember, right?

    I mean, we've had some discussions about moral relativity while studying a bunch of history and other cultures, but this just feels different, ya know? I mean, we're talking about his mom! And, frankly, one of by biggest violators was his dad! I don't even know where to begin with this. It's a terrible example to give an almost 16 year-old boy that sometimes after a year or so of completely inappropriate interactions, we actually developed real feelings and are now married. That's not the message you want to send! I don't want him to think that SA is just easily forgivable. 

    Seriously. Parenting books don't cover this one. 

  4. Assuming you can afford it, lawyer up anyway. It's not going to stop. They're being absolutely fucking ridiculous at this point. Is her therapist willing to testify to her overall stress level and emotional state? 

    I would also yank her out and homeschool anyway. But I know it's not as easy as it sounds since you both work full time and all. 

    But seriously, fuck these people. 

  5. On 3/8/2024 at 10:10 PM, Destiny Skywalker said:

    I had a Girl Scout meeting tonight. You guys are way more interesting. 

    Cerina, ughhh I'm super sorry about the account. We never use our debit cards anymore because I'm so worried about this happening. I wish the bank would issue us an old school ATM only card. Are you going to be able to recover the money?

    Yeah, the bank refunded it all while they do their investigation. 

  6. So yesterday someone cleaned out one of our bank accounts. They stole my debit card number, so now I have to get a new card...again. This is like the 3rd card in 2 years. 

    But that wasn't the most interesting part of my day. 

    Trevor and I each got a letter in the mail from the Polaski, Indiana Department of Children's Services letting us know that some kid we've never heard of was removed from her home and we had to be notified by law since we're related. Long story short, she turned out to be one of Trevor's ex-wife's kids. Trevor and his ex divorced almost 20 years ago. They were together for less than a year. We have no earthly idea how or why we wound up being flagged as relatives. Even using the legal definition of "relative" in the law the letter referenced we wouldn't qualify except as "any other related adult as named by the child or their parent". 

    Other oddities - my letter came to me with my maiden name on it, a name I haven't used in 12 years at least; both envelopes were handwritten with our current address which we haven't even updated our DLs to, they both still say Houston; the envelope was postmarked 01/29/24 but we got it yesterday. 

  7. ...will be old enough to legally buy and consume alcohol in all 50 states in about 3 weeks. 

    I was a few months shy of turning 21 myself when I first joined, which now means that I have lived more life with Nightly than without. 

    My Nightly-aversary happens to be on a Friday, so...Zoom party??

  8. On 10/4/2022 at 4:01 PM, Cerina said:

    Background info: 

    My husband Trevor and I started dating in May 2000. We moved in with each other that summer and stayed together until October 2001. He moved out, we broke up. He eventually joined the Navy and married some random girl moments after she turned 18. I started a friends with benefits sorta thing with one of his closest friends, Jason. Jason and I kept this up for years. Real feelings developed but we never upgraded our status beyond friends with benefits. Trevor eventually left the Navy and came home, wife in tow. They divorced. I balanced a friends with benefits thing with both Trevor and Jason for about a year, but it was tumultuous to say the least. Eventually, Jason was slowly replaced by Trevor, and in 2007 I got pregnant with Noah. Trevor and I married in 2011, and things have been pretty solid with us ever since. Trevor and Jason had a falling out not too long after, and we've only seen him a small handful of times since. Also of note, about 8ish years ago another mutual friend of all of ours told Trevor and I that Jason had told her that he regrets not taking things further with me back then and that he feels I'm "the one that got away". I had always assumed that my feelings were stronger than his, and if I had known this at the time, there's a very real chance that I never would have started things back up with Trevor. 


    Ongoing issue:

    About once every 2-3 months, I have a dream about Jason that brings back all the old feelings. They're insane. The dreams are never sexual but always very intimate, usually about reuniting or finally breaking down and admitting feelings or something along those lines. Now during the normal course of my life, I don't spend any time thinking about Jason at all. And under normal circumstances, I can admit that I miss him and our friendship (we had a very close bond beyond all the sleeping together), but I don't carry any lingering feels other than that. Trevor and I even talk about him every so often as he was a huge part of both of our lives for many years and so many of our good-ol'-days memories include him in some way.

    However, when these dreams happen they seriously throw me off. You guys ever have dreams that feel so real that you keep the feelings with you for hours or even days after you wake up? This happens every time. For a day or so after these dreams, I basically float about in a daze of longing and heartache. Like I said, I don't really think about him normally, but for a good 24-48 hours these feelings are very real. And then I start thinking about reconnecting - I still have Jason's number (it hasn't changed in so long that I actually have it memorized from the early '00s) and know where he works (head of security at the outlet mall). So I start envisioning myself finding him and sparking up a friendship again. (I do actually miss his friendship. He helped me deal with my and Trevor's breakup in so many ways. I would have spiraled into a much deeper depression without him.)

    So I don't know what to do with all of this. I had one of these dreams last night, so today I'm sitting here in my office trying to concentrate on work but instead keep thinking about what might have been, how much it feels like I have a hole in my life from the loss of his constant friendship, and fighting the urge to text him. Like I said...the feelings are very real right now despite everything I know about my normal feelings. 

    Somebody tell me that I'm not crazy. 

    Update! Despite having these dreams regularly for over a decade, I actually have not had a single one since I posted this almost 18 months ago. Therapy works you guys. Even if it's just ranting online. 

  9. My heart goes out to you both. That's just so painful to read. 

    Mean girl behavior is excused just like "boys will be boys" bullshit. The guilty parties just don't believe that they're doing anything wrong. They feel that they're entitled to be that way. 

  10. Jesus! What little bitches are people raising up there? I know kids are mean and cruel at times, but this just seems over the top. I don't see how the adults in charge can just let this behavior continue. 

  11. 5 hours ago, Hobbes said:

    Email I got from a parent today.  Student (1st grade) is blue, teacher is red.  We provide sooo much support for this student.  Anytime she is asked to do something she doesn't want to do she cries, rolls around on the floor, throws things, runs from staff, punches and kicks staff (I have been punched and kicked repeatedly and had rocks thrown at me) and students.  This happens everyday.  This teacher is probably the kindest, most gentle staff member.  When we have dad pick her up, she is punching him and he is all, "what's the matter sweetheart--please be nice".  I almost lost it on him when he did that when she was repeatedly kicking me while I was explaining what happened. 


    Ah yes. When you get your gentle parenting ideas from TikTok. I see shit like this a lot in gentle parenting groups. Parents are straight up permissive and don't understand why their children are brats.  

  12. On 2/5/2024 at 6:48 PM, Tank said:

    I had to stop with ScreenRant. It was just too much. Their pitch meetings series was funny, and I watched a couple Easter Egg videos-- but so much of their content is the sorts of conversations that used to happen on here 20 years ago and it drove me insane THEN.

    Mostly Star Wars theories coming from people who have bad taste, hot takes, and have read every single thing with a Star Wars logo on it and act superior about it.

    I get that. I tune out when they start offering opinions. Mostly I watch their recaps or Easter Egg videos for the Disney+ series. 

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