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Cerina

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Posts posted by Cerina

  1. ...will be old enough to legally buy and consume alcohol in all 50 states in about 3 weeks. 

    I was a few months shy of turning 21 myself when I first joined, which now means that I have lived more life with Nightly than without. 

    My Nightly-aversary happens to be on a Friday, so...Zoom party??

  2. On 10/4/2022 at 4:01 PM, Cerina said:

    Background info: 

    My husband Trevor and I started dating in May 2000. We moved in with each other that summer and stayed together until October 2001. He moved out, we broke up. He eventually joined the Navy and married some random girl moments after she turned 18. I started a friends with benefits sorta thing with one of his closest friends, Jason. Jason and I kept this up for years. Real feelings developed but we never upgraded our status beyond friends with benefits. Trevor eventually left the Navy and came home, wife in tow. They divorced. I balanced a friends with benefits thing with both Trevor and Jason for about a year, but it was tumultuous to say the least. Eventually, Jason was slowly replaced by Trevor, and in 2007 I got pregnant with Noah. Trevor and I married in 2011, and things have been pretty solid with us ever since. Trevor and Jason had a falling out not too long after, and we've only seen him a small handful of times since. Also of note, about 8ish years ago another mutual friend of all of ours told Trevor and I that Jason had told her that he regrets not taking things further with me back then and that he feels I'm "the one that got away". I had always assumed that my feelings were stronger than his, and if I had known this at the time, there's a very real chance that I never would have started things back up with Trevor. 

     

    Ongoing issue:

    About once every 2-3 months, I have a dream about Jason that brings back all the old feelings. They're insane. The dreams are never sexual but always very intimate, usually about reuniting or finally breaking down and admitting feelings or something along those lines. Now during the normal course of my life, I don't spend any time thinking about Jason at all. And under normal circumstances, I can admit that I miss him and our friendship (we had a very close bond beyond all the sleeping together), but I don't carry any lingering feels other than that. Trevor and I even talk about him every so often as he was a huge part of both of our lives for many years and so many of our good-ol'-days memories include him in some way.

    However, when these dreams happen they seriously throw me off. You guys ever have dreams that feel so real that you keep the feelings with you for hours or even days after you wake up? This happens every time. For a day or so after these dreams, I basically float about in a daze of longing and heartache. Like I said, I don't really think about him normally, but for a good 24-48 hours these feelings are very real. And then I start thinking about reconnecting - I still have Jason's number (it hasn't changed in so long that I actually have it memorized from the early '00s) and know where he works (head of security at the outlet mall). So I start envisioning myself finding him and sparking up a friendship again. (I do actually miss his friendship. He helped me deal with my and Trevor's breakup in so many ways. I would have spiraled into a much deeper depression without him.)

    So I don't know what to do with all of this. I had one of these dreams last night, so today I'm sitting here in my office trying to concentrate on work but instead keep thinking about what might have been, how much it feels like I have a hole in my life from the loss of his constant friendship, and fighting the urge to text him. Like I said...the feelings are very real right now despite everything I know about my normal feelings. 

    Somebody tell me that I'm not crazy. 

    Update! Despite having these dreams regularly for over a decade, I actually have not had a single one since I posted this almost 18 months ago. Therapy works you guys. Even if it's just ranting online. 

  3. My heart goes out to you both. That's just so painful to read. 

    Mean girl behavior is excused just like "boys will be boys" bullshit. The guilty parties just don't believe that they're doing anything wrong. They feel that they're entitled to be that way. 

  4. Jesus! What little bitches are people raising up there? I know kids are mean and cruel at times, but this just seems over the top. I don't see how the adults in charge can just let this behavior continue. 

  5. 5 hours ago, Hobbes said:

    Email I got from a parent today.  Student (1st grade) is blue, teacher is red.  We provide sooo much support for this student.  Anytime she is asked to do something she doesn't want to do she cries, rolls around on the floor, throws things, runs from staff, punches and kicks staff (I have been punched and kicked repeatedly and had rocks thrown at me) and students.  This happens everyday.  This teacher is probably the kindest, most gentle staff member.  When we have dad pick her up, she is punching him and he is all, "what's the matter sweetheart--please be nice".  I almost lost it on him when he did that when she was repeatedly kicking me while I was explaining what happened. 

    image.thumb.png.c3c95b792b97b1693174482832dbfbfe.png

    Ah yes. When you get your gentle parenting ideas from TikTok. I see shit like this a lot in gentle parenting groups. Parents are straight up permissive and don't understand why their children are brats.  

  6. On 2/5/2024 at 6:48 PM, Tank said:

    I had to stop with ScreenRant. It was just too much. Their pitch meetings series was funny, and I watched a couple Easter Egg videos-- but so much of their content is the sorts of conversations that used to happen on here 20 years ago and it drove me insane THEN.

    Mostly Star Wars theories coming from people who have bad taste, hot takes, and have read every single thing with a Star Wars logo on it and act superior about it.

    I get that. I tune out when they start offering opinions. Mostly I watch their recaps or Easter Egg videos for the Disney+ series. 

  7. I think I should change my goal. I'm at 12 books so far this year, and I have 2 more that will be finished probably before Thursday. 

    The list so far in no particular order:

    Fourth Wing
    Iron Flame
    The Thursday Murder Club
    The Man Who Died Twice
    The Housemaid
    Wrong Place Wrong Time
    A Good Girl's Guide to Murder
    The PARA Method
    Veronica Ruiz Breaks the Bank
    Murder on the Orient Express
    The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches
    Legends & Lattes 

    Almost finished with:

    Everyone on this Train is a Suspect
    A Court of Thorns & Roses

  8. 6 hours ago, Jacen123 said:

    As if I didn’t know it already, I feel so out of tune with other people from this thread.  It is almost as baffling to me as the old soccer ball thread. 
     

    But hey, maybe it’s not you, it’s me. Or is it?

    Same. 

    Cinema Therapy 
    Midwest Magic Cleaning
    Legal Eagle
    How to ADHD
    Heather Kell of Kell of a Plan
    Planning with Bumble
    The Speech Prof
    Mothers Against Greg Abbott
    Hannah Bayles
    Mended Light
    Clutterbug

    And some I'm not subscribed to but must watch a lot because they're always on my home page:

    Ms. Mojo/WatchMojo
    CNN
    all the late night talk shows
    Mama Dr. Jones
    Charisma on Command
    TED-Ed
    Howard Ho
    Brandon McNulty
    ScreenRant
    Mountain Rug Cleaning 
     

     

  9. 15 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

    Wow. I was not expecting DeSantis to drop out this early. That said, either he or Haley had to drop out, and personally I'm glad it's DeSantis.

    Do you think DeSantis is gunning for VP?

    I really hope the moderate right jumps on the Haley train. I mean, they won't, because nobody thinks she's electable, but it would go a long way in restoring some semblance of sanity on that side of the aisle. Republicans as a whole need to get their shit in order and stop kowtowing to their fringe. 

  10. 17 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

    This is where I'm at as well. Biden appears to have a competent cabinet, and despite the media tearing Harris a new one just months into inheriting that shitshow, she'd likely be fine running the show. Things are a lot more stable under this administration, which is needed right now, given what a hot mess everything else seems to be. I don't think they have all that much control over the economy and inflation as we'd like to think, and we're still feeling the fallout from COVID and the Trump Administration there.

    Yeah. I won't go as far as to say that Biden or Harris are in public service for the right reasons, but I do get the sense that they're not in it for power or ego alone. And that lends to them being open to the advice and counsel of others. That's the low bar I require of my elected officials. 

  11. On 1/17/2024 at 12:25 PM, Hobbes said:

    In line with my high nostalgia for the internet of yore, I decided to make a thread is a throwback to the original purpose of the internet...ranking dumb shit and arguing.

    I love ranking stupid shit.  If I get bored or need to calm down, ranking dumb shit is my default go to.  For the last month the default conversation in my head has been ranking the months of the year.  Here is what I got:

    image.png.f5046d893e3d31ca1b8544e205b9ed7e.png

     

    I hate this stupid template because the colors are backwards. Like why is red at the top at the good thing? Red is bad. Green is good. Red stop, don't, danger. Green go. Stupid tier ranking template. 

  12. I still fucking just love girl power scenes. Even when they're on the nose or in your face. I guess it means that I'm old enough to remember a childhood where females were still just sexy lamps in movies and TV. Even minor representation gets me. I cried at the inclusion of female background characters in TFA (I was also very, very pregnant but still). 

  13. I don't mind a 2nd Biden term because I don't believe that he's actually doing much behind the scenes. I'm mostly ok with his cabinet and the people he's surrounded himself with, and I believe that if Biden were to like fall into a coma or something, they would carry on without him and things would continue on their current course. Now granted, I also believe our current course could be a hell of a lot better, but given how we've seen how it can also be a hell of a lot worse, I'm sticking with another 4 years of this bullshit than that bullshit. 

  14. Sounds like a classic case of not wanting to take responsibility. 

    We had Luke's ARD meeting last week. They're changing his one-on-one supports. He's now doing well enough in reading/LA to no longer require an aide to be with him every day during that time. Instead, they're going to reallocate that time to having an aide with him while they're doing individual work during stations (where they rotate through several stations and one-on-one time with the teacher). He apparently cannot stay on track by himself. He's easily distracted. Shocking, I know. So yay and *sigh*. 

    Also, Luke received an Evite for another kid's birthday party, so I told him that he got an invite to this kid's birthday and his response was "ugh, no. We're not friends. I don't want to go." Not what I was expecting but ok. But then when I went to decline the invite I noticed that only like 12 invites went out and several look like they're to family members. They didn't invite a lot of people to this party, and somehow Luke was chosen. I also didn't recognize any of the other people who were invited, so I sent a quick screenshot to a friend of mine who regularly volunteers at the school and knows everyone I swear. She didn't recognize anyone either, but she told me that this kid is also in the special education program. So I questioned Luke a bit more (always a fun exercise with a child with an expressive speech impairment). By this point it had been a couple of hours, so I started the conversation over. (Mind you, we do this with Luke all the time. If we get an unexpected response, it likely has more to do with his circumstances in that exact moment than anything lasting. Example, if we ask him if he's hungry when he's actively doing something, anything really, he will say "no". But if we wait until he pauses for a second or force him to break his attention and then ask again, he'll change his answer to "oh yeah!") So this 2nd convo went a bit like this:

    Me: Luke, you got invited to Max's birthday party! Is Max your friend in Ms. E's class?

    Luke: This answer is still no. We're not friends. 

    Me: Oh. Why aren't you friends?

    Luke: Because we're not friends. (Answering "why" questions is one of his impairments)

    Me: Is it because Max is mean to you?

    Luke: No. 

    Me: Is Max a good student? Does he get 3s and 4s or 1s and 2s? (Me trying to determine if there's a general behavior issue that's turning Luke off)

    Luke: He gets 4s like me. 

    Me: Why aren't you friends with Max?

    Luke: Because...we're not friends. Because...he follows me and I told him "don't follow me!"

    Me: Does he follow you because he wants to be friends? 

    Luke: He follows me. I don't like it. We're not friends. 

    And then he ran off. That's about the maximum amount of conversation we typically get out of Luke. So I'm thinking given that Max is also in the special education program, he likely could also be on the spectrum and have difficulty interacting and making friends. If that's the case, I absolutely want to ensure that Luke goes to his party. I typically wouldn't force my kids to be around someone they don't like, but I also hate it when special needs kids try to throw parties and everyone ditches them. It's happened to a few of my friends' kids before and it's absolutely heartbreaking. I'm really torn on this one. I'm heavily leaning toward taking Luke to the party anyway. It's not until the middle of next month, so we have time to prime him or things might change naturally. 

    I'm also tempted to email their gen ed and special ed teachers to see if they have any insight into Luke and Max's relationship. I'd hate to force Luke to go if there's always conflict between them. But if they get along decently well at school, then it's likely that Luke is just being a grumpy-ass this weekend, which has already been a thing this weekend actually. So maybe I'm making too much of all of this. 

  15. 12 hours ago, Destiny Skywalker said:

    It's going to have to work out. The school let us know "someone" has filed a report that Q made threats to harm them. I can't even. The retaliation has already started. I've already filled out withdrawal forms and am just waiting to send them.

    w

    t

    a

    f

  16. Yes. Absolutely. 

    If they want to apologize, Q can accept that apology. But forgiveness is internal and, honestly, for the victim. Forgiveness does great things to one's mental health - letting go of anger and resentment is healing. She doesn't have to forgive them, but she should for her own sake. What she absolutely should NOT be pressured into doing AT ALL is reconciling with them. She's allowed boundaries, and not being around those girls should be one of those boundaries. 

  17. On 12/30/2023 at 9:25 PM, Destiny Skywalker said:

    Have you thought about getting your license or working in escrow? I think you'd be awesome at it.

    Every time I find myself job hunting I tell myself to just go into escrow at a title company and work my way up. And then I don't. I should probably listen to myself. And you. 

  18. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be looking for a new job this year. I'm not terribly satisfied with the job as it is or with my crazy boss's weird demands, but I'm willing to deal because the flexible schedule allows me to work at home when Luke is out of school but Noah isn't or when I want to go out of town or anything like that. 

    But the real estate market is going through a thing and it looks like we won't be building many houses this year. Without that, there isn't much for me to do. My boss isn't really focused on building a business, which is something I would be willing to stay on for. He's just focused on making money. Most of that money goes directly into his IRA or his friends' and family's IRAs, so it's not like the company is profiting. And I pretty much AM the whole company. So yeah. 
     

  19. And by reading, I also mean listening to audiobooks. 

    I "rediscovered" books this year, and I can't believe how much I've missed reading for my own enjoyment. The last 10ish years I've only really read books for work, parenting, or general self-improvement or reading books to the kids. I've read A LOT of this stuff in the past decade, but not too many adult books. 

    So for 2024 I'm making it a goal to read 60 books. I did 37 from June to now, so this is very doable for me. I spend about 4-5 hours alone in a car each week, so that helps a lot. 

    I'm doing this challenge. And in doing so, I also have a goal to pair 6 fiction novels with a non-fiction book about a topic or theme from the novel and also to read one career/productivity and one health/wellness focused book a quarter. These extra goals can also satisfy the goals from the 52 Book Challenge, so I'm not crazy. 

    Anyway, I'm on Goodreads. Add me on there. 

    Anyone else have a reading goal for the year? Or anyone have any good book recs for the challenge or otherwise?

  20. On 12/26/2023 at 3:31 PM, Zathras said:

    Obviously someone doesn't appreciate the genius of Boba Fett riding a Rancor Monster.  Sheesh!

    Thank god someone said it. Best Star War scene of the 21st century. 

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