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Posts posted by monkeygirl

  1. Her pink mohair pillbox hat secured, Phyllis took one last look at herself in the shabby-chic-framed mirror in her small entryway, which she insisted on calling 'the lobby', deemed herself smart enough to go out in public and skipped sideways down the brownstone's front steps, silently congratulating herself on the purchase of her snappy, new leopard-print flats-only $12.99 from Zappos!


    Phyllis fancied herself a Jackie Kennedy look-a-like, but truth be told, she more closely resembled Jackie Mason. In her tightly-coiffed head, this gift from Mother Nature carried with it an enormous responsibility: to be absolutely diligent about grooming and fashion, for to seem less than tidy would not only reflect poorly on her, but could have the unintended consequence of besmirching the name of one of the most beautiful and famous women of all time and Phyllis Stookley wasn't about to let that happen on her watch.

  2. Summer reminded everyone of Gracie. Like George Bailey did in "It's A Wonderful Life", Gracie profoundly touched seemingly everyone in Perfect, and as tiny as it is, that's still remarkable. Before her unlikely birth, back on the first day of the sunny season in '02, this was a bitter, unfriendly place known for its callous inhospitable demeanor. One small, lovely child changed that and the hopes of each person here in 7 and 1/2 short years, but now, they were facing the first season without her. Gracie was gone, and with her went the hearts of 168 people who would express the anguish of their loss by turning on each other and tearing this fine place to shreds.

  3. Pigs, man, they're all ****ing pigs. Them four mighta been doin' nothin' at the time, but they's pigs and they made a decision to become pigs and pigs deserve to ****in' die. They're ****in' stupid, too, man, know what I'm sayin'? 'cause here I ****in' sit, right where I gunned 'em down not 2 days ago and some other poor ****in' dude paid that price. So I get home free, bitches, and I ain't even done yet. thing is, I got some ****in' power and nobody can ****in' stop me now I do, not even that crazy bitch down on Rainier who gave it to me 'cause ****in' pigs ain't the only one I killed that day.

  4. MOAR:


    Hammie was the kind of guy nobody ****ed with; not so much because of the verbally-spewed admonishment he issued forth to every poor soul who crossed his oily path but more due to the needle in the gut you'd feel upon making eye contact with those closely and deeply-set, too-bright optical orbs that told you there's a whole lot of crazy going on under that damp, Jherri-curled rug he called his 'honey-drip catcher', IF you caught his drift.

  5. Here is one:





    Peter Fonda was dead; at least he was when I fell asleep last night, not that I had any way of checking such a thing, but there he was on Letterman, chatting up his latest film. Sure, I wasn't quite awake yet but I clearly remembered his death; it was back in June of '69, right after Duane Allman bit it on his bike, getting impaled by a wayward piece of re-bar that flew off a flatbed in front of him. And this wasn't the only thing that seemed...off today.

  6. And YOU obviously like internal parasites!


    Not that there's anything wrong with that.


    Pixie came tearing through the living room with the blanket in her mouth


    OMG. PX PLEASE!!! I have never seen this. My Pigboy had a ribbon he'd hold in his mouth and let trail under him, but a blanket? This is new to me!

  7. THANKS Spam!! I'm going to spend some time with that site tonight! Jesus and I spent the day outside yesterday. He bugged me to chase him around the yard and I obliged (HOW can they make that much noise withe their tiny padded feets??) but I can't get him in the hot tub yet. He's very close to jumping in, I can see it in his face, and he loves to trot around the perimeter. SO far, the kitchen sink is his water place. You know how you can get most cats to appear with a can opener? With Jesus, all I have to do is turn on the water and I can hear him coming.


    Why do pixies love to sleep in plants so much? That's one of the oddest things they do, to me.

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