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Destiny Skywalker

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Everything posted by Destiny Skywalker

  1. I think the youngest just turned 18 and is in his senior year. So these are likely older HS kids. I wouldn't be surprised if they planned this and woke up at 3 AM to pull it off.
  2. Neighbor did call the cops when she got home (she works overnight shifts, she didn't realize how bad it was until she got home and found the small crater in their lawn and the scorched milk box). Cops found the fuse had been tampered with and throwing it at their house means there are actual charges for malicious intent on the table. Apparently if it's more than $750 in damages in our state, it's a felony. I'm not sure it caused that much damage, but I sure hope it gets upgraded to a Class C felony for these little ***holes. This was serious and they could've really hurt someone, and if it was dry, half our neighborhood would've gone up in flames. Sparks definitely hit our lawn and driveway from the explosion, but fortunately, it's been wet lately.
  3. Yeah there's gentle parenting and then there's permissive parenting. A lot of people in the gentle parenting camp unfortunately don't realize they're actually permissive parenting. Like I've said before, we mostly follow the Collaborative Problem Solving model, but I about lost it when I joined a CPS Facebook group because half the parents just did Plan C (no expectations, no accountability) for everything in a kid's life. It was like they literally gave up and let their kid rot because that's what their kid wanted (or thought they wanted). I think it was really the parents chose Plan C for themselves.
  4. I need to get out of here. We realized after watching the video, they actually chucked the M80 at the neighbor's house, didn't just set it off in the street.
  5. Well at 3:50 this morning I woke up to a large boom outside and I about had a heart attack or panic attack. I had to do a lot of deep breathing to bring my heart rate down. We checked the backyard, we looked in the garage, we checked the kids rooms, looked out front... nothing. This morning we discovered some kids set off a M80 or something right in front of our house. Our neighbors' son has been harassed several times the last few years (egging, other vandalism), so she has contacted the police and asked us to send our camera footage (which, once we knew what happened, was easy to track down).
  6. The last time I flew Frontier it was out of desperation because I missed my connection in Denver thanks to weather and it was literally that or get a hotel. It wasn't as bad as some people's experiences but it was still a cluster fuck and the seats are the worst. I remember when they used to be a good airline with DirecTV in the seat back! Because I went to an aviation college, I have a lot of friends who are pilots. 90% of them are at Delta at this point. One thing they universally agree on is that they would never get on an Allegiant flight because they have horrible maintenance. Spirit is the next worst airline on their list (and one of them was a pilot for them before they went to Delta).
  7. Yeah I'm actually debating between the Total Joys and the Super Joys now. I'm not sure I want to do mid 70s underfoot anymore, but maybe 82ish? I think my Salomons have lost their camber. They didn't feel snappy like they used to, compared to my new Head Kores. So they really just need trashed. But I definitely think I can justify some carvers. I really do prefer ripping paste, I just can't find any right now. But I think I'd be happier on the moguls on something a little more reactive. Last Friday I was doing pretty good on the blue moguls. But black plus moguls? F that. I miss steep groomers. They no longer exist at Snoqualmie.
  8. Unfortunately, it really does seem like the only way to stop bullies is to kick their ass or embarass them. I hate that, but it's always worked. She did kind of try verbal "fighting back" with one of the girls, and it sort of worked because Q would call her on her crap and the girl would be embarassed, but after awhile the girl started escalating. She tried ignoring. Didn't work. We talked to her psychologist and she felt this girl actually loved conflict and got some sort of weird dopamine hit from the negative attention. We tried taekwondo when Q was in 1st grade or so. It was too hardcore. They wanted a 2-3 day/week commitment and they promised black belt in 3 years. I said look I don't care about black belt, I'm more interested in the discipline and using her body to be more intentional, can we do 1 day/week? They were like nope. She also was way too freaking excited and trying way too hard. She and E both are very sensory seeking and love that large muscle feedback. Unfortunately, we encourage both kids to de-escalate because they're small. They are not gonna win any fights. But I think the thing to note here is that these girls we just dealt with are not going to beat her up. They're a ballerina, a clumsy girl, and a diva. At least 2 of them struggle academically. They're just mean and they aren't special. I could see the diva getting into a hair pulling fight, but she's also the one who has backed way off. For that, I'm grateful that the message was received and she has stopped bothering Q. The other 2 are former friends so that one hits harder. She used to be quite the smack talk and back it up type until she got that concussion. When she tried out for a soccer team 1 year older than her, she went up to the biggest girl on the other team during scrimmage to tell her she was going to win... and then she did. The coach loved it and gave her a spot right then and there. 3 weeks later, she got a concussion and she hasn't quite been the same since.
  9. I did bust out the Salomons this week and decided they are going to stay retired. I figured since it's been raining and in the 40s all week, the snow would be crap. I was correct. However, I felt very out of control. I think my new skis are inherently more stable? And pushing all that heavy wet snow was not fun. I think the longer skis are also good at pushing through that. So, maybe not getting the Super Joys. I think I better demo something before I buy, because I was really surprised how much stability I lost. Still can't get up on my edges, even on the skinny skis. I hit tree branches and got spun around today, and once again the ground jumped up at me on a flatter part and opened my skis up wide and I face planted again. I don't know what is wrong with me this season. I am skiing like total garbage and I'm super frustrated. It started to rain, so Q and I went to the beginner terrain park. She fell on her first box, but hit several more afterwards (just straight on, told her to take it easy for her first time). She managed to get up on a rail (by accident) and actually hung onto it until just before the end. She says she wants my Salomons but I realized they are like 15 years old so that might not be a good idea.
  10. I think I flew Spirit way back in the day before they became obnoxious. Even then, it was a little trashy. I'd definitely fly Delta instead.
  11. Appeal denied, retaliation report dismissed because they couldn't prove it was a false report. It is clear that they are not interested in doing anything about it. Q did a half day at the STEM school program on a day off (different districts who have different semester grading days off). It was grades 6-10, so she would be one of 2 6th graders. That ended up being a little intimidating for her. They are learning Python, and everyone is on their own plan, but she worked with another kid of similar age and she had a tough time following because she would be a beginner. They also had their Language Arts section and discussed The Hobbit. The teacher told me later that she participated more than some of the other kids who have actually read the book. Haha. The teacher ultimately thought it went well, but Q didn't feel as good about it. So she requested to stay at her elementary school for the rest of the year because she loves her teacher. So I requested we stay on the waitlist for next year for the STEM program. In the meantime, we will check out our District's parent partnership program and see if it has a similar program that wouldn't be as bad of a drive or consider one of the private schools. I did follow up with the principal to let her know that we had considered other options but decided to stay, but because of how the situation has been handled, we plan to leave the school district next year. I think she was surprised that we would go that far, but its very clear that I cannot expect this district to look out for her interest. I also let her know that this situation has taught Quinn not to report, because it won't go anywhere, and it will just stir up drama when all she wants is to be left alone. As long as kids lie and say they didn't do the thing, the finding is "inconclusive". You can't trust bullies to tell the truth about their actions. On a positive note, we had an excellent IEP meeting for E yesterday. Everyone is very proud of him for how far he has come in the last 1.5 years. I did bring up how I am very concerned that they are moving 6th grade to middle school the year that E goes into 6th, and his SpEd teacher admitted that she had a moment of initial panic when she heard the news, as well, because we all agree that E probably needed that extra year with them. However, the team promised that they will come up with a robust plan and supports for him. One thing they pointed out was that the program he is in is not currently at our local middle school. If he were to continue in this Social Skills/Communication program, he would need to go to the middle school at the other end of the district, which is a 30 minute bus ride. They've actually made it a point to provide a customized support program for each of their graduating 6th graders so that can attend the local middle school and avoid sending kids to the other side of the district, and have tried to argue to the district that they have enough kids (with future growth) to support a program at the local middle school. Sigh. So they want to come up with a similar plan for him because they think it's important for these kids to stay with their peer groups instead of sending them off to middle school with no friends. I made sure to thank them for creating such an inclusive environment at their school, and to let them know that it's not the norm at other schools we've attended (this goes for our previous district, too). They said that meant a lot to them.
  12. I think we are discovering that public school is just not for her. And yes, we've generally gone to affluent schools, so that may be part of the problem because while we like having a nice house, we aren't big on luxury items. E, however, tends to go to less "good" schools and I have noticed that they seem to have a better environment and more inclusivity. Admin doesn't seem to get wrapped up in petty crap, and I'm not sure if its because they don't get all the volunteer help-that-is-not-help. I actually miss his Title I school, but it was also K-2, so it's not like it's an option because obviously he outgrew it. However, E has never gone to a school for more than 1 year until this year. Part of this was he had the wrong placement, and we also moved school districts. The current school, though, is one of the "better" schools and while I think it still has some of that lame PTA culture, the kids do seem to be kinder and more inclusive. Dont get me wrong, E doesn't have many friends. But I have seen his classmates be super kind to him at school and outside of the classroom (lacrosse tournaments, etc). But I think the lack of friends is because he doesnt know how to connect, and I'm not sure he tries all that hard, either. I don't think Q would stand out as the obnoxious rich kid at a lower class school. She has no idea what a Stanley cup is and I'm pretty sure her reaction would be why on earth would you care about what water bottle someone is using? She puts stickers all over hers anyway. I mean, if that's fitting in, I don't see her doing that ever. But maybe she will develop some awareness in the next few years. Q's therapist thinks the STEM program is a much better fit for her. She has patients that have attended this school and thinks it's great (to be fair, I would've killed for a place like this). She said the constant stress that Q has been under for the last 2 years is not healthy, especially at this age. The program also has a lot of neurodiverse kids. We are going to go sit in on class Monday (our district has a grading day) for a final decision. But neither district has said anything to me about the transfer request. So they may not release us. I had originally put Tuesday on the transfer request so I think it's obvious that won't happen. If they do not respons in 45 days, it is considered rejected. I think the other issue is that none of the private schools seemed as good as her old one. I was really trying to make it through 5th grade there because I hoped middle school would be better (really good activities like choir and musical, sports, etc). I even offered to let her go back, even though we think we should've sued them. That was the fastest No I've heard in any of this. I reminded her that she does have a few friends there, even if they aren't her best friends. I think we will look at the local private Catholic school for HS, though. We KNOW she has friends who will go there. And I hear you so much on the parents being friends instead of parents. I was really struggling with that. I want her to be happy and feel like she has a say. I also know that some of her rationale behind decisions were not good ones. We follow the Collaborative Problem Solving model, and I even told her therapist that I may need to pick the authoritative path here for her best interests. And while the therapist would normally be aghast at that, she agreed that safety is first. I know she will get over being mad at me. Really, I am concerned about next year as much as this year. Showing up to middle school with zero friends and a few enemies is NOT a recipe for success.
  13. I am so sorry. I am glad you were there for him and it was peaceful.
  14. I have a question for Ender or Spam or anyone else in education. Are 5th/6th graders really easily irritated? Is this a post-pandemic thing? I noticed that Q's classmates at this school are very easily irritated, but I'm not sure if its a hormonal thing or a cultural thing out here. But this came up because the principal finally got off her ass with some "interventions" to support Q and she mentioned that Q is actually very emotionally intelligent, much more so than her classmates. Q tells me her classmates get annoyed with the littlest shit, like her marker squeaks while drawing. I've occasionally noticed this at individual Girl Scout events, too, though. She will be doing something fidgety that I find super minor and someone will snap at her to stop. The parents don't tell their kids to chill. I don't ask her to stop, though, either. Partially because I want them to work out minor conflicts themselves, but also because I think we need a little more tolerance for things that are not really bothering any body. (I got pretty annoyed at my coworkers recently for getting mad at a guy at work who is pretty clearly neurodiverse for pacing at his desk. I told them I was pretty sure most of it was because they don't like him because he's kind of an entitled asshole. Which fine, dislike him for that but this guy probably needs a workplace accomodation.) The appeal was once again denied, with an offer to appeal to the school board. I'm not bothering, they will just continue to CYA and uphold the decision claiming that its not interfering with her education. I put in a request for a district variance to allow Q to attend the STEM program and called her teacher to let her know that she will be leaving because no one will take this seriously. I think that's what actually got the principal to get her butt in gear. However, Q is not sure she really wants to leave, but her reasons for wanting to stay have to do with the adults she likes, not her peers. I'm really struggling with whether I'm making the right decision here. The last day of the semester is tomorrow. We are only halfway through the year. Can she survive the rest of the year? We also figured out that she has been downplaying everything to the staff at school. She says she's fine, the girls are being nice (in class only) and then she starts breaking down at the end of the day because faking it is getting hard. Then she's miserable at home. I told her she needs to stop people pleasing and admit she's not doing well. Unfortunately, this has also been undermining any advocacy I've done and makes me look like a nutjob and I won't be taken seriously because now I'm the Mom Who Cried Wolf. She finally owned up today and the relief was palpable. She seemed less tense tonight. I still don't know what we are going to decide. I'm trying to give her choices, but I told her she needs to stick with whatever decision through the rest of the school year, I'm not going through this again in 3 weeks. I've pulled her from a lot of environments that seemed emotionally damaging. Honestly, moving her here is the only time it's not worked out for the better. We switched Girl Scout troops and found a much better one that we've been happy with for 6 years now. We moved to the private school and she thrived until a complete leadership change. We left her old soccer club because of an abusive coach, and they fired the coach last month. I know she can really thrive in supportive environments, and often I'm just the first to bail and others follow. About half of the families we knew well left the old private school at the end of the same school year. And they were kids who you wouldn't think were struggling and would probably do well in almost any environment. But their parents were also fed up.
  15. For real. I am a recovering Republican because they went batshit crazy catering to the far right. I don't think the Democrats are angels, either, but their brand of crazy is at least less toxic and harmful to our national psyche. I just really cannot see how they think Trump is a viable option after January 6th, 2021. It's more about not having a baby-killing Democrat in there than someone who has any interest in running a country other than for their own ego.
  16. We are all absolute shit liars in this family. I'm kind of thankful for that. Do my kids lie to me? Yes. Can I tell when they are? Usually. My concern is that I don't think these parents do know it when their kids do. But, as you said, there is absolutely a connection between Mean Girls and Mean Moms, I saw that firsthand this year with soccer. Last year the moms were admittedly pretty vapid but mostly harmless. We are generally pretty good about weeding out the Mean Moms as Girl Scout leaders. Out here, at least, I think that's because it's hard to find volunteers anyway, and also we try to keep our troops to one grade level so it's not like those moms can lord their "power" over the whole school. For me, I find I do have issues with parents (never the ones who actually volunteer) trying to control our troop because they want their daughter to get everything they want. However, I am also pretty stubborn so they eventually leave once they realize they can't push me around. I'm so glad we are down to 5 girls and they're all about the same level of weird, but also genuinely kind kids. I have generally found PTO/PTA to be the types of moms I can't stand, though. They are looking for control and power, and judge their self worth on their ability to create the perfect pinterest decorations for the various events and class parties. The anxiety starts Sunday afternoon now. She threw a fit about nothing to wear this morning, even with some of her favorites available. We had a training event with another club last night that was intended to be a confidence boost and just an opportunity to work on some more skills, and she beat herself up over every little mistake and I had to talk to her twice at water breaks to remind her it is training, not tryouts, and that they were all making mistakes or having some level of difficulty with the skills. But she had a meltdown 5 minutes before we even got out of the car. Friday she came home miserable saying she can't do anything right. She said the same thing last Friday. I need to get her out of there ASAP. And the private school we liked just let us know that they realized mid-year is NOT going to work because they have a big retreat next month that is not really optional and she is not signed up and has not been planning with her team. FML.
  17. Wow. I was not expecting DeSantis to drop out this early. That said, either he or Haley had to drop out, and personally I'm glad it's DeSantis. Do you think DeSantis is gunning for VP?
  18. This is where I'm at as well. Biden appears to have a competent cabinet, and despite the media tearing Harris a new one just months into inheriting that shitshow, she'd likely be fine running the show. Things are a lot more stable under this administration, which is needed right now, given what a hot mess everything else seems to be. I don't think they have all that much control over the economy and inflation as we'd like to think, and we're still feeling the fallout from COVID and the Trump Administration there.
  19. I think reaching out to the SpEd teacher to see if there is any conflict is a good idea. But I suspect your hunch is right that the kid is socially delayed and doesn't know how to engage or take hints, and may come off as a little overbearing.
  20. I need some new skis. It's been a season and I can't get used to these. I have far less control and can't get on edge. And my knees are killing me. These might be great skis if I was doing powder or back country, but they feel like planks as I ski shitty groomers and moguls. I'm tempted to pick up these: https://www.powder7.com/Head-Super-Joy-Skis-153cm-Used-2023/for-sale I'm going to give Q my old Salomon 149s next year and let her rip. Shit I might bust them out next week and see if I have more fun.
  21. I'm so used to clouds, mountains and rocky terrain for "hiking" that I was a little taken aback when I first saw your pictures. Beautiful! (And sounds way better than literal mountain climbing.)
  22. We have an ancient computer tower holding on for dear life that has a CD drive. We met with some director about the appeal. I think the problem is that they want us to demonstrate that her grades are failing or something to qualify for impacting the educational environment. We argued that academics are only one area, but that her social-emotional learning is being interrupted and that she is unable to access her education because she has taken numerous sick days and needed to come home early because she is too anxious to stay at school. We did emphasize that the school is claiming restorative conversations took place when they did not, or the bullying continued after an attempt at a restorative conversation. I also brought up the moms' influence as regular volunteers and having younger siblings who the principal will have to deal with for years to come. The retaliation and false reporting is being handled separately. I honestly think they are going to uphold the original decision. I'm not sure how to demonstrate bullying or Harassment at this point. If it's not this, then what the heck is it?
  23. That was the plan. I just don't remember where I put it lol
  24. When I figure out where the hell I put it, I will report back.
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