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Destiny Skywalker

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Everything posted by Destiny Skywalker

  1. So, they determined it was an accident because the bully said it was. Her consequence is that she has to apologize. Not even a separation plan. There is zero accountability at this school. They have looked at every incident on an individual basis, but where there is smoke, there is fire. Q can get along with other kids just fine in the right environment where the adults have actual expectations for behavior. I'm sitting in on a choir practice right now and the kids here are so nice. Her Girl Scout troop is a great little group of weirdos who all get along despite having a wide variety of interests. The principal and superintendent give zero Fs. I'm going to talk to Q tonight and I have to convince her that there is nothing worth going back for. She got to do Science Fair, field trips to the Kangaroo Farm and bowling are not worth 35 more days of this nonsense. I will take her there myself. I did express to the principal that the 6th graders are really amping up the antics the last few weeks from what I am hearing from Q at school. The comments are getting meaner, the behavior more extra. They know they are almost done at this school and no one is going to hold them accountable. She actually agreed that she had witnessed the same and was going to talk to Q's entire class about how they were not meeting behavior expectations, as well as addressing the school as a whole. They have such a culture problem there, and it's perpetuated by the school counselor who encourages sarcasm and witty comebacks instead of encouraging open, honest and kind communication. You aren't going to reach kids by stooping to their level. That's not teaching them anything. That's giving up.
  2. The separation plan was between her and another girl. This one was definitely one of the biggest antagonists in January and the one that has made up lies about Q to others. I actually think she's the worst person out of all of them. But after the bullying report, she laid low. But there's 36 days of school left, so I've noticed the 6th graders are amping it up because they think they're done. She saw an opportunity and took it. Q won 1st place at the Science Fair tonight. Suck it, Mean Girls.
  3. One of Q's bullies hauled off on her in gym class today and made her nose bleed. Everyone laughed and told her to get up and then made fun of her for crying. I picked her up from school. They are doing their investigation. Q has her science fair presentation tonight and that may be the last time she ever steps foot in that school. If they let her bully off I'm absolutely pulling her because she will be a sitting duck.
  4. Yesssss I love mentoring! Drop me a PM and tell me about his plans.
  5. My 12 year old wants to redo her room and would like a bigger bed. I'm trying to figure out if I can fit my queen canopy bed in her room so I can get a king sized bed lol.
  6. I would definitely get shot anywhere else other than Seattle. I keep my middle finger to myself, but I yell WTF asshole a lot.
  7. I have a couple of (non-political) car stickers and I yell at people while driving lol.
  8. I guess things have died down a bit, probably thanks to the separation plan, but Q has still been down. I want this year over with. The control freak mom's daughter has also not been back at school, since spring break, so we are going on 2 weeks now. I have a feeling she is not coming back. I am clearing my calendar to attend their field trip to the Kangaroo Farm because I feel like I need to go so no one can accuse Q of something ridiculous. We signer up for a club's soccer tryouts kind of as a warmup/get out the nerves, but they ended up having such an overwhelming turnout that they are going to form 2 teams and now I have to take it seriously. She tried out for this club last year and I was convinced this was the right place for her because of what I've heard about the club culture (all good things, and they were moving to a new league that is less about the good old boys clubs and more about just letting any team play where they belong eithout their weird alliances). And then at tryouts the coach was weird. He walked up to Q because she was juggling very well and asked her what club she was from. She told him. It was apparently the wrong answer and he ignored her after that. I couldn't understand why this coach was completely ignoring her, despite playing pretty well and going all out. She had one rough moment when they paired them up for 3v3 and she got put with these girls who were absolutely terrible, but she did well otherwise. I was so proud of her. And then, no offer. We heard through the grapevine that they tried to poach as many girls as possible from a certain club, and now that club was unable to form a team because of it. Girls who played at that club and knew Q said that Q got screwed because she was a better player than some of the girls who got picked up. So we changed plans and went elsewhere. It really hurt Q and she was pretty embarrassed by being cut, she's never been straight cut by a club before. So I saw they were having tryouts and they are free, so I suggested what the heck let's just go so you can get the nerves out. The other tryouts aren't for another 2 weeks. However, now I am pretty sure she is going to get an offer this time. I actually sat in the car both nights and didn't watch because I'm tired of getting mad about adults ruining soccer for kids, but from the little I did see, Q held her own in the scrimmages and was working hard, which I was worried about because she's been so defeated lately. I encouraged her to play anywhere but defense, because she's small and honestly, defense just seems to be a crutch for her and doesn't use her best skills, so she doesnt really shine there (nor is she big, so she has to rely on all skill and not size). Personally I think she'd make a great defensive center mid because she's good at disruption and stopping counter attacks if her team doesn't hang her out to dry on 2v1 or 3v1 situations like her last team did. But she tried center mid, which I think is a good spot for her in general because of her first touch and passing skills, but its going to require more fitness if she stays there. I doubt she will make the first team because I was told that this club really emphasizes keeping teams together and protecting returning players, and it looked like most returned. The A team did really well last fall and played in the top division in the spring, which took them all over the state to play other top teams. Honestly, I'm not sure we want that anyway. I think she'd rather have shorter drives to games and a but of a break in the winter to ski. I'm good with that, too. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting a little more vocal about how none of these girls are going to play D1 soccer, and we all need to chill. As I used to say at my indoor soccer teams, D league is for Day Job. No one is going pro, so let's just have fun. If she doesn't make it, she's found out one of her former teammates is moving off her old A team because it's too much travel and just too much soccer. They are still figuring out coaches for next year over there for both A and B team. So she may want to play with them, but I'm waiting to see who the B team coach is first. Q wants to play with the A team girls because she likes them (and they are super nice girls), but the current coach is a no go, and I think it would be too much travel for her.
  9. So, I've been frustrated lately. My application package is getting great reviews. I'm told I am one of the strongest candidates my organization has, which has shocked the managament team. I'm trying to drive important, visionary work. Nothing is getting done unless I'm personally working on it. I've tried to set accountability measures up, and the simple fact is no one cares, and no money to make stuff happen out of thin air. While on vacation, my work bestie texted me about a job opening. I told her hell no. The reason she texted me is because this was my dream job 10 years ago. I asked the guy in the job if he would mentor me, and he told me no. He then started bad mouthing me to all the senior engineers. Finally someone asked my old boss if it was true that I was an idiot, and my boss stood up for me AND came to tell me what was being said behind my back. This guy had run multiple people out of their jobs, including a former mentor. They transferred, got laid off, you name it. He destroyed careers. I said screw it and joined my former mentor in his new organization. After a few years of being bored out of my mind, I went back to my old job, and looked that asshole straight in the eye and told him I was back. He looked legitimately terrified. A few years later COVID hit and he took a voluntary layoff package and retired. Last summer, we heard they were trying to hire him back and like 10 of us banded together and told our director how toxic and useless he was. The director actually listened and refused to listen to the VP who wanted him to hire him back. The VP responded by transferring him to work for her and forced him to hire him back. He's been back, bad mouthing everyone, and I have steadily avoided him. Everyone is furious. Well, I'm not sure if he's getting bored or what, but the VP decided she needs another one of him, and gave my organization a list of names. I was apparently the management team's first choice out of that list. I told them I'd love to take it but I have some serious concerns about working with that guy again, and that I needed the VP to trust me and not listen to this guy shit-talk me. I met with my new director who has my back and wants me to document ANYTHING this guy does. Since he is a consultant, he has to keep his nose clean and if I file a complaint of harassment, he is likely out. I was given discretion to keep my hybrid work schedule (I told them that summer was most of the issue, during the school year it is less of a problem). I am actually really excited about the new position. I've started attending meetings and this is a space that I am very comfortable in. My last role was what you would consider a stretch assignment because I am a mechanical engineer and it had a heavy software focus, which is not my strongest suit. I was never super comfortable there with all the jargon (and honestly I feel like some people were making shit up as they went and no one was calling them on it because they didn't know either). My last concern is my mentor. This was supposed to be his role. However, he's also a victim of this guy, and he's pissed off that VP in the past. He's also an introvert and doesn't like making a big stink. I told management they need to smooth it over with him a little bit because he IS getting screwed and pigeon-holed. He and I kept making eye contact at the office yesterday and he mouthed, "We will talk later," but he was swamped all day. I have a ton of respect for him and I want our working relationship to be intact. I don't think he's mad at me, but he should be mad at the situation. Also, I'm told my rival's application is not scoring well. He is a former manager who decided to return to engineering because he realized it was more cush and better paying. And because he thought he'd get this role no problem. Turns out that while he can fool management, the technical folks aren't fooled. His biggest ally also left, and with the new director, there's been a massive organizational shakeup, and it's been to my benefit. She is returning a lot of power to the workers and telling her management team to get their crap together, and asking why we do stupid things.
  10. She insists she wants to finish the year out because she loves her teacher. Of all the things to be resilient about. I am so glad that we will never have to set foot in this horrible school again. I was hoping to hear back from the superintendent, but it appears to have just been lip service. Q was found to not be bullying because of the ridiculous criteria. It's clear they don't believe her side of the story but couldnt find any additional witnesses, and they've created a separation plan for the girls. Q went to the principal and asked why they didn't put a separation plan in place earlier when she had complained. It's clear they are protecting the other girl more than Q. I think it is because the mom is on the PTO and has 3 more kids at the school, while we are done in 9 weeks and they never have to see her again. The principal denied it, but I'm proud of her for advocating for herself. When I was finally told the official complaint by the principal, I told her that even if it was true, it's definitely not bullying. Apparently the girl claims that Q walked up to her, and said, "Hey, do you know what rape is?" and the girl said no. Q then told the girl that it's when someone forces themselves on you, and the girl told her she needed space, and then Q yelled, "Why are you bullying me?" I can tell you in no universe did this ridiculous conversation take place because it doesn't even make sense. It's so bad it sounds like AI wrote it, or it's just a terrible attempt at a 12-year old lie and I absolutely cannot fathom why anyone even thinks this conversation was real. I'm told it is inappropriate to say "rape" at school at all. In all honesty, I could believe that part of the conversation happened if someone made an inappropriate comment about rape and Professor Q decided to bust out the dictionary definition, but Q insists the word rape was never said to this girl or anyone else. I also told the principal off because she tried to claim the girls were friends again. (Q told me she had hoped for it to be true, but its clear now it wasn't.) I told her that these girls were never her friends and that was a narrative the staff was pushing because they couldn't see through their behavior and wanted everything to be fine. The principal is tired of my shit because I keep calling them on their nonsense. What Q did later admit to me, was she got 69 as an answer in math, pointed to it on her paper to the girl and laughed. That's some realistic 12-year old stuff. I suspect what actually happened is that the girl made an inappropriate comment at home and Q was her scapegoat. I forgot to tell you a month or so ago, the control freak mom who called Q a bad influence called up the other girl's mom (the one making the latest claims) and told her that HER daughter was a bad influence. The girls are still hanging out at school but the other girl was upset about it. This girl is the perfect example of pretends to be an angel in public but behind closed doors she is always instigating weird or sexual comments and seeing what she can get away with. Have fun with that one, mom. I'd rather have the kid with no filter who I can have open and honest conversations with.
  11. So what did we do? Well we stayed at the Hilton Grand Vacations on the Las Vegas Strip. Realistically, it's at the northern edge of the strip next to Circus Circus. The good thing was it was a smoke free hotel. But the food options were pathetic and slow. They did have a surprisingly nice spa that I got to use for a few hours. The pool was good for kids. There was also a Deuce Bus stop right in front of the hotel so that was useful. Dinners at a Brazilian steakhouse, Noodle Bar (chinese) at Sahara, pizza at Happy Camper, and a few meals at the new Fontainebleau food court since it was across the street. We also did Mexican one night but I can't remember the restaurant. Cirque du Soleil Mystere at Treasure Island Easter Brunch at the Wynn La Cave Shark Reef Aquarium at Mandalay Bay Fun Dungeon arcade at Excalibur (crap prizes) NY NY arcade - good prizes but not that great of an arcade and the Rollercoaster was down that day because it was raining Coke Store - my son walked in and said I need some merch! He cracks me up. Got him a Tervis tumbler. The fancy drinks were broken, so it was kind of worthless. Hershey's Store - not that great, overpriced bulk Hershey's kisses and nothing too unique. The best part is getting a milkshake. Pool time - E is skinny and got cold easily. It was not that warm of a week. Adventuredome at Circus Circus. We did this the last day since we had to check out of the hotel at 11 and our flight wasn't until 9. This was probably my kids favorite activity. E is getting braver at riding Circus type rides, Q is a Rollercoaster junky but ate too much crap so she didn't feel that great. The buffet at Circus Circus is cheap but not that impressive (but my kids essentially got a home-cooked meal so that was a good thing). The arcade was also better than Fun Dungeon or NYNY, so it was a win. I pumped $40 into the stupid Minecraft Dungeons arcade game and E walked away happy. We got to watch a juggler and a clown during one of their hourly shows, so that was kind of fun too. Overall it was a good trip, and everyone had fun.
  12. I don't know, suing for emotional distress caused by bullying and the school and district continuing to sweep it under the rug? All these therapy bills I have to pay, the time off from work, private school tuition? This is ruining her life, and her therapist is really concerned that this long-term stress is going to be life-altering. Like, she will literally need therapy forever, and probably has PTSD or some long-standing trauma. A friend recommended a lawyer who helped them force their district to allow their son, who is on an IEP, to test for their gifted program. I got a thank you for bringing your concerns to light reply from the superintendent. Who I didn't email. He said he is going to meet with the principal. So hopefully someone is paying attention now and I don't have to lawyer up. But this needs to stop.
  13. Is she going to continue to rail about this or will it be a one time chew out? (Guess it depends on if he gets caught again.) We just got done with spring break, Q seemed relaxed. And then I got a call from the principal. One of the mean girls filed another bullying report. I'm considering legal action because the accusations are now stooping to defamation, and they certainly seem to be retaliation. I wrote to the deputy superintendent and the school board (her therapist recommended looping them in because of how this has been handled so far). If they find her guilty this time I am homeschooling her until the end of the year.
  14. My dad drove to Fredericksburg, Texas to watch it. He doesn't think he will be alive in 20 years for the next one. The 2017 one was total in his hometown and it was going good and then clouds rolled in at the last second. He was so disappointed. This time he got the view, barely. When he sends pictures I will share them. As for Seattle, we only had 20% totality, and clouds anyway. I didn't notice a thing.
  15. Is Latinx just supposed to be a gender-inclusive term? Quite frankly, I think the community gets to decide what they want to be called, not someone outside of it. It's like the autistic vs "has autism" debate. It seems like many in the autism community have embraced being called autistic instead of using people first language that many in the disability advocacy community are trying to push. (On a related note, now it feels like I can't say disability or disabled anymore. "Differently abled" feels kind of pedantic to me.) Many autistic people have embraced it has part of their identity, as opposed to the advocacy community that says you shouldn't let a disability define someone.
  16. I grabbed a few more dresses from Target since I was doing a pickup for shoes for Q. Ugh. Everything looked huge and ridiculous. I need to try on some of what I already own and see if I still fit it and if I can wear a cover with it to hide my scars.
  17. I bought a dress for our vacation. I hate clothing shopping. My boobs fit nothing. I even went to the plus section to see if that would help. Then everything was just shaped like a garbage bag. And I need sleeves because my skin cancer scars are still so purple. People tell me I shouldn't worry about it but it scares my kids when they see them. And floral is in again. FML. I hate patterns but I hate paisley and floral with a passion. Q tried so hard to pick out a floral dress for me, I didn't have the heart to tell her I hate floral.
  18. We decided to keep it sideways because it actually worked better. And yes, the cabinet panels are pricy. We wanted to do them for our refrigerator and the cabinet company said no because they were worried they would break at the size we needed. Apparently you can't go much wider than 24 inches or something because the wood can twist and break if torqued too much, so we went with stainless steel panels. But it ended up being ok because the wine fridge has a big glass panel.
  19. I think this is what we are picking for backsplash tile. I have some questions for the designer whether we should go up and down with the tile instead of sideways (I think yes). Second choice is the same tile but a more sage/matte. We need to pick out a new mini fridge. The one we were going to pick has a lot of recent bad reviews. The problem is all the better choices are either 5 inches larger or 4 inches smaller. Smaller is going to look dumb because we have wide cabinets above it. So I need to talk to the designer about whether we have enough room to move out 5 more inches.
  20. When we lived close to my mother-in-law, my husband would spend most of his weekends being her personal gardener. I'm pretty sure that's the entire reason she remarried after we moved away. So they tore up the floors in the half bath/laundry area and it turns out the previous owners did linoleum on top of linoleum. God I hate them. We are going to try to redo the kids bathroom ourselves (really just floors and a new vanity), and they used the same ugly linoleum so I know what I have to look forward to.
  21. Had my first outings to the laundromat this weekend. Saturday I dropped off and had them do all the work. 18 lbs x $2.38/lb plus tax came out to $48, and then the guy had a tip line. Ugh. So today I came back and did 2 loads myself and it came out to $25 plus a $0.98 convenience fee (worth it not to change $25 into quarters, honestly). But then Google Pay said they charged me $45 so wtf. So now I'm going to ask friends if I can come over in exchange for a bottle of wine. However, I was done in like 1 hrs 15 minutes with 2 loads, so that part was kind of great.
  22. 2-3 months, apparently for everything. I think the bathroom will be last because there's a lot of plumbing work to do. They are delivering cabinets in 2 weeks, and we are going on spring break. So I'm hoping to come back from spring break to all the cabinets done and maybe I can ask them to at least bring the oven back in. Since it's electric and not gas, I'm hoping they can bring the oven back in and let us plug that in. The new microwave/mini convention oven is built in so I don't think they will be able to get that hooked up that fast. I'm ok with getting food out of the fridge in the garage if I can have my oven back.
  23. Took them 1 day to completely rip the kitchen out. We are going to donate most of the cabinets to Habitat for Humanity, but they want us to bring them to them. FML. Today they started cutting holes into walls.
  24. Poor dude! I hope he is better soon.
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