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Destiny Skywalker

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Everything posted by Destiny Skywalker

  1. I don't think my friend is suing. She's just letting the district know what happened and why she pulled her son and decided to homeschool. I forgot we had a big victory for E. He has made friends with a girl in 4th grade. Her mom is actually a paraeducator and has subbed for E's para a few times. E's birthday was Saturday, and on Monday, the family actually sent a gift home with him. It was a science kit and just the sweetest gesture. The girls (she is actually a twin) signed a card for him and everything. He really doesn't have friends because he still does a lot of parallel play, so it means a lot that this girl plays with him almost every recess and while waiting for the bus. His OT also reported that he has been trying to facilitate some social opportunities during OT with some of the other patients and E is showing some good social skills (I mean, he's super sociable but he's not being controlling or jabbering about his favorite new thing). I'm really hopeful that he can start making some friends in the next few years, even if it's not a huge group. Q is quite the social butterfly and had already snapped up all the kids on the cul-de-sac, even the ones younger than E, so unfortunately a lot of the kids just see E as Q's annoying little brother. I'm hoping when she goes to middle school, we can rectify that, and maybe he can become friends with the boy across the street, at least. I actually think they would get along well.
  2. The issues we had with the last select team was almost entirely girl behavior (and parent, by extension). While in some ways it was almost refreshing to not have the extremely hardcore parents, the inane banter about mani/pedis and the like I had to listen to on the sidelines made me want to gouge my eyes out. My husband started calling them Real Housewives of (Insert town name). The meanest girl on the team had a little sister who was an absolute terror, and everyone would say oh she's so cute, and I would watch and say that's a nightmare in the making. So when the girl grabbed Q by the neck during a practice because she was pissed that Q kept beating her in 1v1, I was entirely unsurprised but super pissed. These parents (and their daughters) were entirely focused on the image of playing select soccer, not development. That's how I know it's not a good fit for her; they just have completely different goals. I would be willing to consider her moving up to the next level team but I wouldn't accept a spot for her on this team again. There were a few girls who got it, but most did not. I was an all-around good athlete but not the best at anything. I didn't start soccer until I was 12 (U13) but fell in love and developed quickly, partially because of my natural athletic ability but also because I put the work in. I often say I know how to train at higher levels, and I have the mindset to do it, but maybe didn't have enough skill to get there quick enough since I was a late bloomer. My mom was really sick when I was a kid so I didn't get to go play on organized sports teams, so I was kind of a late bloomer to everything. I played 3 seasons of softball and 1 season of basketball. Softball was kind of the cool sport in my town, but I quit because I had a coach who was super pissed that I missed a softball game for a single soccer game (I did the same once for soccer, soccer coach didn't care). I wasn't going to play at higher levels, I was just a decent center fielder who really wanted to play 3B but I was always on a team with a good 3B. I loved street basketball and was actually a really good dribbler but not that great at shooting (and also 5'3"). I played 1 season of organized basketball and absolutely hated it. I quit those sports at an appropriate time (going into HS) and focused on soccer. I started skiing and bowling at 6, and actually stuck with bowling through my senior year of college. I played half a season of JV tennis but quit because there was too much homework freshman year and it overlapped with select soccer season. I really think my relationship with sports was a really healthy one and I don't see that in today's environment. Kids used to be allowed to try stuff and not necessarily be good, but we also had parents willing to put in the volunteer time who weren't just in it to make sure their kid got all the playing time. And sure there was Daddy Ball even then (the snobby girls I mentioned earlier, their dad was the select coach the last 2 years because the younger one was so bad that she wouldn't have made the team otherwise), but I feel like it's gotten more toxic.
  3. Jacen how is your recovery going? It's getting real over here. District fired our SpEd director over racist comments in a meeting. And one of my friends pulled her son from school (same program as E) and filed a discrimination complaint. I think there's going to be some house cleaning coming up.
  4. I kind of hoped she would be a 2-sport athlete (you know, like how some of us played multiple sports growing up), but I'm starting to think she's just going to get tired of the stress. Lacrosse has been a lot less fun this year. Part of it is the coach, but part of it is the girls are hitting middle school age and are just jerks to each other. There doesn't seem to be a team mentality anymore. I mean I never got along with everyone on every team, but my select soccer team played together for 5+ years (U14 to U19, but we were spread across about 3 years), we were pretty tight by the time I graduated. We could at least be civil to each other (until I ran into 2 of those bitches at a wedding 15 years later and they pretended not to know me, but really they were the only ones that shallow).
  5. It's super gross. Lacrosse is getting there, too. Lots of cheating, stacking rec level teams. I think this is why she loves skiing. So much less stressful.
  6. Alright I know this is the ski thread, but the unicorn club turned out to not be a unicorn. Coach chose to poach lesser players from the rival club. Even our friends who know girls who got spots say Q got screwed. And now rival club can't even field a team. Once again, adults ruin youth soccer. So in a few weeks, we try again. On the bright side, we will probably get to play with friends again.
  7. I definitely sent that to a friend this week. It was an awful day. I attended a meeting today that they have put off for weeks because we needed all the right people together. I was considered a key contributer. My manager even told me, hey you need to put in your word early before people start dominating the meeting. So I spoke up. And was spoken over. So after waiting 10 minutes for someone to shut up, I used the hand raise function. After a few more minutes, 2 others raised their hand. Then the guy finally shut up and said I'd like to hear what Hand Raise #3 has to say. My manager said hey she tried to talk and she had her hand raised first. So I said a few things and relinquished the floor. Then they tried to default to Hand Raise #3 again and my manager again said, look he's #3 someone else is going before him. Then we all finally heard from #3, he asked to steal the ball and share HIS interpretation of what others said. They all love him, fall all over themselves, and I spend the rest of the meeting being talked over and interrupted. I was in tears by the end. It was the worst, most frustrating meeting of my entire career. This guy constantly takes credit for my and others ideas, restates ideas as his own, and everyone just fawns over him. Its disgusting and I'm over it. I was so disrespected. I told my manager I am about to excuse myself from this space and stop contributing because this behavior is so disgusting and no one will listen to a word I say if this guy is in the room. I'm going to start buying lottery tickets.
  8. Starting my day looking up the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath. Turns out I work with a psychopath.
  9. It was a really messed up situation where she got mad that E was fidgeting with random objects because she has zero toys, puzzles games, etc and then tried to gaslight him into saying she couldn't find them and that he couldnt have the dollar store sword I bought him so he wouldn't fidget with random items until he found it. She also accused him of stuffing a candy wrapper in her couch. Just as easily could be Q or her husband (who she has totally busted doing that in the past to hide that he was eating junk food). So we called her bluff and tore the house apart looking for the missing item and she finally admitted she hid it on top of the refrigerator. E got very dysregulated about it (not screaming or crying, just wound up and anxious). My husband laid into her for being an asshole to an 8-year old with cognitive impairments and forced her to apologize to E. She also admitted that she just took the sword because she did not approve of the toy he picked out because he might break something swinging it around. Like, she's just a horrible person. We may never stay there again because she does manipulative shit like this because she's also undiagnosed ADHD and probably ODD. Given how she treated him when we pulled him from Pre-K and asked her to help watch him for 4 months until Kindergarten started while we lined up doctor appointments and IEP meetings, its a pattern. I would never trust her with him. My dad is mildly stupid right wing, but at least he's not total batshit crazy right wing. But I would worry about the effect he would have on Q, who is a sweet little bleeding heart liberal feminist who also loves Jesus. And he is of the "have you tried spanking him?" mindset when it comes to E. He's just an old Boomer. What the hell is wrong with our parents, guys? Like that whole generation is messed up.
  10. God I hope we aren't weird like our parents. That's some Boomer shit right there. We had a pretty shitty visit with my MIL a few weeks ago. Like, got themselves taken off the list of who will take care of my kids if we both die bad. I actually had to ask Q's God parents if they would do it. Right now they are praying we never go on vacation alone until both kids are 18. (Like we've ever been able to do that anyway.)
  11. My head just exploded reading this. I need to go lie down.
  12. I very much agree with that article, and your perspective on win now. We've had coaches say that they don't care about winning now but then... actually I would probably say the first coach knew he was playing the long game but the 2nd coach absolutely wanted to win now. I can tell she is personally very competitive, though, so I think it has to do with that. I don't see the point in filling a roster to only let the same starting players play and subs ride the pine at U13. If they're that bad, you shouldn't take them anyway. My HS coach could've taken 18 and he only took 14 for varsity because he felt the JV girls were such a significant drop in quality he didn't want to bother. The first choice club tryout is next week. There are 48 girls trying out for 30-36 spots across 2 age groups. I'm so nervous for her. Alpental is closing up shop a few weeks early because they are installing a new chair and everyone is crying about it.
  13. My mom put off a colostomy for probably 15 years. It was so freeing once she did it, I think she regretted not doing it earlier. If you frequently find yourself in embarrassing situations that you need to escape from, I'd recommend it if you start to find yourself in that situation. We checked out a new Cub Scout pack for E last night and it was so much better. The den leader was organized and hands on, and also didn't get annoyed with wiggly little boys (they all were). They have a good mix of fun and getting requirements done. I think we are going to switch, at least for the rest of the year. I also signed E up for a Camp Fire membership because they have a local camp that is supposed to be very good and they are (supposedly) very good at inclusion. There is now a club in our neighborhood, so we are going to check that out as an option, as well, and then we can decide which is a better fit for next year.
  14. They have to be pretty close friends. Is your wife breastfeeding or formula feeding? If formula, I think its easier to have someone to help out overnights unless she's got a serious freezer stash of breastmilk. Is baby sleeping through the nights or not really? I don't want to downplay your concerns, I get it that she is concerned about you not being able to pick up the baby for 6 weeks. Is it really just nights that she's worried about? Do you do most of the night care, usually? Is she worried about also caring for you? Would it be easier to get a nurse for you for the first week or so? Is there a lot of dressing changes?
  15. I am driving a Chevy Equinox this week and I'm pretty sure it is powered by a hamster. I miss my V60.
  16. So, Seattle has an interesting soccer scene. There are like 5 power clubs in the area, and the best ones are at the south end of Seattle. These are clubs who have at least a B and maybe C team for the girls, and as many as D or F teams for the boys. The teams up further north are not as strong. Part of this is that people will actually drive 30-60 minutes to have their kids play for these D teams. I'm over here like ain't nobody got time for that, my kid is playing for the local club until she's the superstar (and truly, that's not the type of player she is, she's not cocky enough. She is a SOLID utility player, though, she can play every position except maybe center back). There's about 5 within driving distance that play at the select (summer-winter, no spring) or premier (year round) level. Some of the clubs have gotten sick of these power clubs' shit and moved from US Youth Soccer to US Club Soccer because some of the clubs wouldn't let them move up to the stronger leagues because they competed geographically. One of the clubs we are looking at is a direct competitor to her former club and just moved to US Club. I really hope she gets a spot on their A team, because I think it looks like a much better, grassroots based organization that focuses a ton on community service. It won't get her into the USWNT but she'll probably be more fulfilled. The other choice is the premier team for her former select club, and still part of the same racket WYS league. But she has 2 former teammates there. But they don't have a goalkeeper. Not a good position to be in. I stopped playing coed. I got tired of 28-year olds throwing my 5'3" ass into the boards, as if I was some sort of threat.
  17. In good news, we has conferences last week and both kids are doing well. Q is settled in and in a groove (although I've noticed she's a little grumpy in the evenings so she might just be keeping her shit together at school). She has made friends with a couple of girls who the teacher and counselor have both told me they are nice girls and I should encourage those friendships. E is also doing well. The teacher said she has never seen a rewards program work for more than 2 weeks before and E still exclaims, "Thank you!" in his adorable little voice every single time he gets a ticket. The biggest concern is that his avoidance for writing is starting to catch up with him in math because he is starting to make mistakes in multi-step problems because he won't write anything down and he can't keep it all straight in his head (that's a working memory deficit if I've ever seen one). Q is back to lacrosse next week and then soccer tryouts start soon after. I think she will realize how much she has missed sports and maybe she will be less grumpy at night.
  18. Geez I didn't realize you were that far from Denver. That's going to be tough to find that good of range, especially with all the mountains.
  19. I noticed a few hints you dropped. I hope you all are ok. We are here if you want to talk, but I also get that sometimes it feels like too much to dig through.
  20. I am either switching him to a new pack or we are moving him to Camp Fire. I just found out there is a Camp Fire club in our neighborhood. A friend who is very involved in Scouts also told me about 2 nearby packs that might be a good fit, but I honestly can't get over how expensive national and council fees are for Cub Scouts.
  21. Lol no, it was the new Puss in Boots movie. We go to pretty progressive churches, I don't tolerate fundie crap. It's a nice church, it just used to be very vibrant, and now it feels kind of reserved and quiet. Just kind of feels like a shell, if that makes sense.
  22. I have been to SOME of the San Juan Islands but not that particular island. Whidbey is the most easily accessible of the them, so I've been there a few times. My husband's uncle also has taken us crabbing in the strait and stopped off at Sucia Island, which is only accessible by private boat. I'd like to go to Orcas Island. Q has not really gotten to play much lacrosse, we had her take it easy with her knee injury. Honestly I think we babied it too much, now, but man how devastating would it be to go back and twist your knee the very first day back after taking weeks off? We are heading out on spring break and the plan is full return to play after we get back. And the first soccer team tryout is a week after that. Eek. We have like 3 teams that we are interested in but this club is holding tryouts a full 2 weeks before everyone else. So we will have to accept or pass on a spot, at risk of her not making one of the other teams. Soccer is getting weird in that clubs are moving to a more travel heavy format. I fully expect next year we will be spending some weekends in Spokane or Portland for soccer. Currently it's usually no more than a 2 hour drive for a game, as opposed to 3-5 hours. I think it will be ok IF she likes the girls on her team. If she doesn't, it will not be fun. She has an out of town lax tournament at the end of April, so that should be fun. The season goes until Memorial Day. They had so many girls this year that they had 2 teams, which is great but then the head coach took all the 6th graders except the new ones and put them on his team, and pretended to be fair by taking a few (good) 5th graders, so he really stacked his team. Q doesn't care, she is on a team with some friends so she is happy. I think the coach is kind of a jerk but if she's happy I am not going to complain, but I dont think he's doing the club any favors and will probably mean some girls don't return because losing repeatedly sucks. And to note, this is rec level, not select or anything serious. They're apparently planning on moving her from defense to midfield/attack, which is silly because the defense is kind of terrible. It is clear this decision was based upon size and not skill. She is the smallest or 2nd smallest girl on the team, but truthfully I don't think they've seen her play defense so they have no idea how much she actually uses that footwork she got from soccer to defend very effectively despite her size. My husband did point out, though, that putting her at mid takes advantage of her fitness and speed (she has much more endurance than many of the girls because of soccer). Lacrosse is a weird sport in that there is so much more standing around than soccer because there are only so many players allowed on each half of the field. So if she can defend AND help with the attack, that might be ideal. But she needs to work on her passing if she's going to do that. It will probably make her a more complete player, I'm just disappointed that it seems like they only looked at size. (Going to be the story of her life as an athlete, honestly.) As for me, um, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'd like to start running again because the weather is getting better but my Ragnar team fell apart. Indoor soccer is Monday nights, which is the same as E's Cub Scout meetings but I think we might be finding a new pack. So I will probably see if I can play soccer again once we get that sorted out. My ball skills are a little rough and I am not as fit as I was pre-pandemic. I've switched to defense because that was where the team needed someone, but the new GK is kind of a bitch and complains about me clearing the ball to space instead of right to someone's feet (where it is honestly going to get picked off because our team doesn't know how to move to freaking space or run onto a ball). So if I can get fit again and my ball skills back, I'd like to move back to offense. I was one of our best strikers when I joined this team, which is funny because I'm an ACM at heart (but our captain plays that and never subs). This team is funny. I like them as people and they were super accepting when I joined, but they have a very small comfort zone and routines and don't leave it lol. And my style is very different than theirs, which is part of why I was so effective for them, because it threw the other teams off. But it does mean that I don't always mesh well with their style, so I'm not as helpful when I'm on a different wavelength.
  23. No, just an opportunity to do a fun event for families for the sake of community. They have a climbing wall and they brought in some inflatables, plus some carnival games. We also found out that they do a family-friendly movie every Friday night now. It's all free, just $1 if you want a hot dog, chips, and a drink. We stayed for 45 minutes and that was it. We left the church 11 years ago when our pastor left because the new guy was a snore and we were new parents. I heard they got a new pastor so I thought we would check it out. It wasn't the same.
  24. Definitely could've skipped family fun night
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