Destiny Skywalker

Tesla is the latest bro car in Seattle. Seriously, I'm so sick of them. Yes, the F-150 Lightning was going to cost probably $80k or more, and the cost increases were also souring us on it. Initial impression was that it would be closer to standard pricing and then it blew up since our deposit. I think long term an EV commuter makes more sense than an EV large vehicle, but I'm also not ready to give up my 2-year old, paid for car. (Although paying for premium gas is not fun right now.) I think we are going to have to go do some test drives. There are also a couple of SUVs that are capable of hauling high loads. Not sure if those would be easier to come by. There have definitely been a few times lately we've wished we had a truck, though. I'm not driving the thing. My Highlander was almost too big for me, whatever we get will have to be bigger. I don't think we are in a hurry unless the car craps out, but realistically we want the truck and RV by next summer. I am seeing some cheaper 2021s at CarMax online that would make it worth buying used. I know used car prices are up but saving $10k sounds good. Especially since I saw some dealerships are still marking up $10k over MSRP. I really hope this microchip shortage is over soon because I'm relatively sure that's the reason for the delays and price markups.

Hey remember when I needed a new car 2 months before a worldwide pandemic that meant I didn't drive anywhere for 3 months? Some minor regrets. I love my V60 but we need a bigger vehicle. I absolutely love love love it for skiing. It is so easy to handle and the ski racks are so easy to load. But now we have a giant dog and she hates riding in a car (well, my car). Not sure if it would be better in a bigger car but she is pretty crowded back there, despite the roof box being full up. The car is like an inch too skinny to fit her kennel so we have to put it in the roof box, which is also not fun. We put a very small deposit on a Ford F-150 Lightning last May, with very little progress on actually picking out anything but trim level and battery type. Lately I've been souring on it because it sounds like the range is really impacted by towing, which was going to be a major use for it. Today we found out that realistically the range when towing is 80-120 miles. NOPE. My husband's Volvo S60 is also eating oil like crazy lately. It only has 75k miles on it but it is 9 years old. For the last month I've been pretty nervous that it's going to die on us and started thinking about emergency plans to replace it (used SUV or something). No matter what, we need something bigger. I poked into hybrid trucks and it sounds like our only options are F-150 or Toyota Tundra. Of course all the dealers are being ***holes about charging $10k over MSRP because they think they can, but I think I can get around that with a custom order straight from the car company? Or maybe we go through CarMax and buy slightly used. Anyone try this? My husband really wants an EV but I think it's best designated as a commuter car around town, not the family road trip vehicle. We've been talking about getting a towable RV, and my husband is trying to talk me into a boat for the 5,000th time (and I am adamantly opposed to a boat when we live in a state where we can only use it 3 months out of the year, and I want to do more than go out on the boat every weekend all summer. He can have a boat if we ever move back to Florida.) He also doesn't want to commit to any vehicle until we "know what we want", but I think that really just means we buy a trailer or boat that is underneath the towing capability. Also on a side note, my Boomer dad just bought a minivan and it is cracking me up. He has been talking about this for YEARS. What is up with Boomers and minivans? He is a single dude living in a rural area and seriously just wants it to haul his telescope around without having to take it apart. My stepfather-in-law also owns a minivan and uses it to haul stuff around. Then again I drive a wagon so I probably shouldn't talk shit.

OLD PEOPLE, YOU GUYS. We did barely get everything in the truck. My dad was shocked he had so much stuff, he thought for sure we would have room to spare. His friends and a neighbor thankfully helped us unload when we got there. But then it's been hard to convince him to unpack. He keeps saying he's exhausted and taking naps, or just needing a break after minor tasks. I put his 2 beds together and it was like pulling teeth. It literally took 10 minutes and 5 of that was dusting the wood. No tools required. He has been sleeping on the floor on the mattress and springs for the last 5 years. I did it for 3 nights and I slept so much better after we built the beds. I dragged him to Costco to order a washer and dryer, knowing that they were likely not in stock and that he really needed to order them online anyway, but I ended up ordering it on my phone right there in the store just to get him to do it. I'm concerned, y'all. He is very much still living in an analog world. He needs to talk to someone to do anything and no one is prepared for that anymore. He needs to get a new license and the courthouse is literally within walking distance and he thought he would walk down there to ask what documents he needs. This stuff can all be looked up online in advance, and I told him he will wait 30 minutes to ask a question that could've been answered looking on the internet in advance. Are your parents like this? I'm honestly concerned.

Oh hey my husband did the pictures on the staircase. He has also gotten into woodworking, so he has built a few things like these wall tables and his own work bench with a vice. The latest project has been organizing the garage. Currently I'm out of state helping my dad move (more on that in a bit), so he took the week off work and is getting the garage redone. Currently it's a mess but I think by Thursday he will have it put together. So if your parents are Boomers, do yourself a favor and just light their house on fire when they die. I have filled almost the entire dumpster at his townhouse complex and it would kill him to see what I've thrown out. And yet, I'm concerned about getting the last few things in the truck tomorrow. The good news is he fits in a 15 ft truck (barely). But I'm telling you 20% is paperwork alone. He has spent 2 weeks going through nothing but papers, and I don't think he got through half of it. I think 2 boxes were packed when I showed up 30 hours ago. I opened up a cooler and it was literally full of paperwork from 2010. I've found boxes of unopened mail. He is so obsessed with looking at every piece of paper and making sure he pulls his address off of it. I told him identity theft happens through thr internet now, not going through trash. I've dumped 5 boxes of magazines and several boxes of old optometry catalogs and resignation letters from staff from the 1980s. The one thing I feel kind of bad about is my dad used to have cool hobbies like stained glass. I found a very large box of half-finished projects from before I was born. I threw them in the dumpster but saved his tools. All his boxes are also in terrible condition because they are 20 years old and absolutely falling apart. So far the only thing he has caught me on is throwing out a printout of statutes for his new state dated 2019. He said he needs that to apply for a new license in his state. He's retiring, in theory. I told him that he can just look them up on the internet again when he gets there. So like I'm saying, start planning arson now.

The issue is I don't want people pulling their kid or saying we aren't welcome at camp because they think she's disturbed. I don't think she is, but I also know she's depressed and struggles with emotions. She misses several meetings because her mom says she just can't get her emotions together some days. And I am not your typical Scout leader (usually stay at home moms, teacher types, etc). People get easily alarmed when people, but especially girls, talk about violence or gore. Admittedly, gore makes me queasy. I think I'm just going to have to warn mom that if she scares the girls again I will need her to pick her up early (and I will do my best to head it off before we get to that point).

What are your uniforms? Do you find they actually help?

Dammit Ender, now Amazon thinks I need Uggs.

Alright, so my daughter has this friend that she plays with a lot online. We made the mistake of downloading Roblox and it is pretty much the worst game ever. They yell a ton and are generally obnoxious. However, lately the girl has started talking about death and murder and it's getting uncomfortable. They are also in Girl Scouts together and I was told that there was a lot inappropriate talk at Girl Scout camp and I'm pretty sure I know who the culprit was. The same girl scared the hell out of half our troop at camp in June because she started talking about fallen angels or something from Doctor Who and got very graphic. It's clear mom and dad just let her watch whatever media, probably because they are watching it, too and don't want to turn it off. Today the girl started singing about murder and I told them that if that continued I was going to make them hang up. I talked to Q and said that it's inappropriate and it needs to stop, especially since Q has a tendency to repeat things. She said she has asked her to stop (not sure she really has). I do know that the girl is neurodiverse, for what that matters. I feel like I need to start cracking down on this at Girl Scouts and in my own house. It's clear that it is making the other adults and girls uncomfortable. Honestly, it's almost easier to crack down on it at Girl Scouts because it clearly makes the girls uncomfortable. My daughter doesn't seem to really care, but I do. And I know Q will get in trouble at school if she starts talking about this, and girls start getting kind of dramatic at this age so I don't trust her filter as much. Sigh, any advice on how to handle this, both as a youth leader and as a parent?

Cum? #fortami

My oldest started swim lessons for the 5th time this week. Husband immediately started googling monkeypox transmission in pools.

Is there any benefit to going out with a bang vs quitting? Other than personal pleasure?

Oh no! Is this your first time getting it? I'm sorry it's so bad!

I've known some good names. One of my favorites is the email addresses we used to get at university. Sean Hitt became shitt@school.edu. Kevin Rappe became krappe@school.edu (he said he was not the complaints department). Glad you guys are a safe haven for trans kids. What a nightmare.

Q might get a chance to play up with the B team at a tournament next weekend. I think she will play much better with girls who can actually get her the ball and where she isn't the obvious best player and strong teams just triple team her.

Um already there.

I think I could make that.

Yeah I'm trying not to be a pain in the ass because he's a volunteer. He really wanted me to be team manager and I noped out of that. I'm really organized but I do way too much adult babysitting already. If I didn't have the Girl Scout troop I would help. Shit if I didn't have the Girl Scout troop I would've volunteered to coach myself. He played D2 college so he should know what he's doing but he's a few years older so maybe he's not up on some of the new formations. Honestly I'm not sure I could run a flatback 4 effectively, either. I played on a team that did it in 2000 and back then it was revolutionary. The U12 team that kicked their asses last weekend ran it (well, with 3 girls). I might volunteer as coach for her school in middle school if they need one. That will be an even bigger shitshow than this team haha. I'm sure it will be no-cut, and I will have half premier/select players and half girls who don't know how to put on shinguards. Some days I think about quitting my job and getting my coaching license and ref license again. But I would be the ref everyone hates because I would make them play clean and its a dirty sport out here.

Yeah, I'm starting to think asymptomatic spread is rare, as well. And I'm also pretty sure a lot of people just do whatever the hell they want anyway when they are sick and don't care who else it impacts so long as they themselves aren't inconvenienced. Went on a business trip 3 months ago and noticed my co-worker bought some lozenges at the airport. I ate dinner with this guy, so no masks. He went into the office the next day for an in-person workshop for 2 days (Thurs, Fri). Waited until Monday to inform anyone he had symptoms, which was actually past my quarantine period. What a jerk. He knew full well he didn't feel good but didn't want to test so he could have his workshop. Luckily for me I didn't get it from him, but we got it a few weeks later from my son, who either got it from school or from some guy hacking up a lung in a restaurant bathroom. (Honestly, I think it was the guy hacking up a lung.) People are just jerks who can't stay home for a few days.

I'm not sure how I feel mentally? I guess mentally I feel 40? I was generally mature for my age but an asshole in my 20s. 30s were my jam. Honestly I'm not ready to be 40. Physically I don't feel 40, I feel much younger. I think I have a lot of energy and always have, and I don't have a lot of aches and pains that linger. I did something to my hip at Ragnar in my first mile. I still don't know what the hell I did but I pushed through it for the next 4 miles. Not sure if that makes me tough or stupid. I had 8 more miles after that but it stopped bothering me after about a mile into my 2nd leg (4 miles). And I tore up my 3rd leg (a little under 3 miles). But then I ran a light jog the following Monday and had to stop because my hip was so painful. I ran once this week with my daughter and took it slow. I realized today was the first day it hasn't hurt. Hoping I can start running again Monday. I'm disappointed in myself for stopping running during COVID because work had me so stressed. I set myself back so much. I was running 8 or 9 minute miles before that, now I'm not sure I will ever get back to that now that I'm north of 40.

I might try some of that with her. Honestly I think half the problem is her running form sucks and if she fixed that her breathing would improve. I've been trying to get her endurance up using what I've learned about running for the last year. But intervals might get her there, too. Personally I like to build up the base and then start doing intervals to increase speed. Once my hip is better I'm probably going to do more intervals myself. And I just checked her feet and I think you're right, her arch is pretty flat. Shit. But she has an arch when she sits, so apparently that's flexible flat feet. Although your description cracked me up because I was also truly not fast enough to be an ACM, but had the vision and passing skills to do it. I'm fairly fast now for a 40 year old, but really good players have 3-4 speeds, and I have 2 gears lol. Those people that are already fast and then change speed again? I hate playing them lol. Yeah the 3-3-2 is not working. They beat 2 crappy teams this weekend and won their bracket, which was honestly a shock, and then got destroyed by a legit team in the semis. But he's been getting help from a few B and A team players and he is overutilizing them. He clearly wants to win. He is in for a rude surprise when the season starts and he can't call those girls in. The girl he has put in that center mid position is actually a winger and hates it. She doesn't come back on defense, either. Just put the poor kid where she wants to play. She's not a bad player at all but she looks unhappy out there. Her mom and I talk so I probably have a little more insight lol. But I think you're right that Q and the hot shit girl could cause a lot of trouble for other teams with them playing a diamond midfield. And Q would get her ass back on defense, she HATES being scored on. When she played outside mid she always hung back a little too much because she wanted to get back on defense. Practice tonight was a hot mess. The assistant coach was trying to get them to throw the ball to each other to practice volleys. I think maybe 2 of them could actually throw the ball effectively. I'm also honestly amazed at how badly these girls listen. Like they hear the instructions, do it badly and then decide they are just going to do whatever they want. Lots of herding required. I gotta get my kid moved up. Q couldn't get a good touch because her partner couldn't throw the ball to her. I'm going to cut him a bit of slack, though. He does seem to be a little kinder to her since our talk. I think he realized I was pretty close to bailing and that she has options elsewhere. The next (and last) tournament is in 3 weeks so we will see how that goes.

He's running a 3-3-2 because they're still 9v9 until next year. But I agree that would be a better configuration. Old coach ran a 3-1-2-1-1 (or a 3-4-1) for 9v9. I didn't get it at the time but I do now. She played outside midfielder in that model, but the coach rotated them every 10 minutes and that was where she used the majority of her subs to keep them fresh because it was a lot of running up and down the line. I'm glad you get this because I'm starting to feel gaslit by this guy. How is one of your top 3 players not starting and not even getting 40% playing time? Like I knew his excuses were BS as he was saying them but I didn't want to start a big fight. I think she's actually going to be a great defensive center mid some day. She is great at little turns in tight space and re-distributing. She's not that creative of a playmaker, but she's excellent at disrupting plays. For a kid with ADHD, she's actually extremely patient and rarely jumps in too early and misses completely. If she gets beat, it's because someone outran her or into space away from her with enough speed. I think she would've been a great stopper back in the day but everyone plays a flatback 4 nowadays. If she does move to defense, not sure if she would be better on the outside or middle. We have a supposedly great center mid who was on the team last year, but I don't think she's the hot shit everyone says she is. She tends to jump, which you can't do as the sole center defender, and she dicks with the ball too much in the back because she wants to place it perfectly before she clears it, and ain't nobody got time for that. However, she might be the only one fit enough to play that box to box mid he's trying to play. I'm annoyed that he's so reluctant to try her at defense, we really only have 2 decent defenders and maybe 1 sub for 3 positions. He's just really stuck on putting her on offense because of her ball control. Maybe she could use that good ball control to send the ball up the line and start a counter, bro. We do need to work on her endurance. I took her for a mile run at a very slow pace (think like a 13 or 14 minute mile) earlier this week and she took forever to get out of a walk, she just kept trying to walk faster and not break into a run. Then once she did run, she would drop to a power walk every 3 steps or so. Then pick back up to a run. Unsurprisingly, she got a stitch in her side from these shenanigans. Then she didn't even want to walk it off, she felt like she had to stand there until it went away. She just can't seem to regulate her speed and go at a steady pace. Moderate intensity exercise is apparently the cure for long-haul concussions, but she keeps trying to go fast until she trips that switch in her brain that says she can't keep going. But this is why she had no problems with lacrosse in the spring, at her age its not a high intensity sport like soccer is. If we can build up her fitness this year, I think she will actually move up at least one team level next year. I figured out this club just figures out its A team (which is actually the best select team in the state), then moves other returning girls to B and puts all their new players on C, which is why she ended up on a team where she is one of the only ones who has played premier/select before. They are also moving to 11v11 next year, so they will open up more roster spaces. So I feel pretty good about her moving up to B team next year, but we need to get her fitness up. She will do a lot better in the fall when it's not so hot, so I'm not as worried about building her up yet. She has time to get there and it has to be done slowly to override that safety switch in her brain.

Yeah, I'm going to admit at this point I'm not super worried about places like grocery stores, restaurants are way scarier because you're sharing air with several people for 30 minutes minimum. Luckily it is nice out so we are doing outdoor dining. I'm still wearing a mask at the store mostly, but if I forgot one I'm not driving home for it.

Well we called the coach out on not giving her 40% playing time, and asked what the problem is. He said he just thinks she is tired. He said he actually thinks she is one of the best players on the team (no shit), but her fitness isn't there. This is where the concussion recovery comes in. It's also just the hottest week of the year and miserable outside, for a bunch of kids who don't have hot weather 10 months out of the year. He also just really wants to put her at center midfield, which is where you often put your strongest player, but they also have to have really good fitness, and I'm not sure any of the girls on the team are fit enough to play that spot the way he is using it (1 box to box midfielder so he can have 2 forwards instead of an attacking and defensive center mid). I think she would actually make a great defender and no one wants to play there, they all want to play forward and score goals. She played there her first year of premier and was really good, she only moved to midfield because at the time her fitness was a lot better and the coach needed to move some new and less fit girls back to defense. Sorry, this is a big soccer nerd post and the only person I expect to understand is Ender. I'm also learning that soccer dads and coaches are very uncomfortable when a woman (me) can engage in a good discussion on tactics and player positions. They are used to soccer moms who don't have a clue and break out the orange slices and arrange carpools.

Hmmm. I have a tendency to bail when something isn't working out. Like I am all in and will make something work until I can't anymore. The truth is life is short and I don't have time to make people happy/comfortable who make me miserable. And honestly, it worked out for me for the most part, I've usually jumped to a better situation. The couple of times it hasn't worked out for the better, it's been out of desperation and I ignored my intuition. I took a job with a guy who gave me the creepies in an interview, and he absolutely turned out to be the worst person I've ever worked for. So the next 2 times someone was a jerk in an interview, I turned down the job, because lesson learned. In one case I think it was absolutely the right call, in the other case I'm still wondering if I made the right decision but I would've been stuck with that guy for at least 3 years, and I'm not sure I could've put up with him for that long. But I always find it funny when people are rude and then shocked you don't want to put up with their shit.

I'm so frustrated with the soccer coach. It turns out he is a big dumb meathead who thinks it's rugby and not soccer. I was absolutely mortified at their first game because he was mouthing off to the ref and the ref was an old guy who was not having it. And he hates Q. He accuses her of not working hard, and I watch every practice, so I'm not sure where on earth he is coming from. The only thing I can think of is she asks for water breaks. (It's hot and her medication makes her more susceptible to heat stroke.) He is clearly there to maximize playing time for his daughter and her BFFs who are all on the team. The contract we have with the club promises 40% playing time as long as you attend 80% of the practices, which she does. He did not abide by that in the first tournament nor in the 2nd one. I talked to him after the 1st tournament and my husband talked to him today. Honestly I'm about ready to file a complaint with the club and ask to be released with a refund since this guy isn't following the contract and just put her back in rec and let her terrorize that league. I'm so done with youth sports. She's also terrified of the new lacrosse coach. He is a former college player and former military. Honestly he's not mean but he's very particular and very military. Doesn't believe in water breaks ("one sip and back at it"). Is there something about water that men hate? Even the premier soccer coaches gave frequent water breaks.