Destiny Skywalker

E had his first concert ever, last night. Last year he caught COVID right before and everyone (him, teachers, us) were so disappointed he had to miss it. Music class is often hard for him. I think it's a bit overstimulating but he loves music, too. His SpEd teacher called me to see if he was coming, we worked out a plan to have us sit right in front of him, next to his paraeducator. After school activities have been rough lately. Meds have worn off by then and the afternoon booster dose doesn't seem effective. Tried using an extra patch last night at Cub Scouts, even that didn't seem great. E told us he was nervous, too. Teachers told us he has been doing great at rehearsals. So we try an afternoon dose, and drop him off. Principal stops by our seats to tell us that he has just been a bundle of energy at rehearsals and very enthusiastic and she loves it. Yikes. Now I'm nervous. He actually did pretty good. He had to go to the bathroom in between songs at one point. Mom and her nerves forgot to stop by the bathroom beforehand. He was indeed enthusiastic, and a little bouncy, but he knew the words and the motions and did what he was supposed to do for a whole 20 minutes with a little wiggling. I had some awkward moments with teachers and parents. His teacher ran him to the bathroom and I followed. She said she just absolutely loves him and I just kind of looked at her awkwardly. I've just heard that so many times through gritted teeth that I just don't know how to respond because I assume they are lying to me. I don't know why, but it usually feels fake. Maybe I just don't know her very well, I've felt really disconnected from his teachers since they went back in person. Somehow virtual school actually made me feel closer to his teachers. I probably should trust that she actually means it, but ike I said, we've heard people say it and not mean it, even within our own family. Another parent in the pickup line for the classrooms told me oh your son was just the star of the show! Honestly it made me feel terrible and think that people were laughing at him. I get it, he stands out. Even Q stands out in a crowd, and her wiggling is nowhere near the same level. I mean, we are still proud of him. He did what he was supposed to do, and I love that he's not sulky or a boring little robot. He has a great personality. I just know that others shame him for not conforming, and I'd rather people not call attention to his non-conformance. With Q, I'm a lot more confident that she's going to be an amazing adult. For him, I worry he will struggle. We have a genetic counseling appointment in a week and a half. I'm pretty sure I am going to get some answers that we won't like. I'm actually more worried about my husband, who has been super stressed and burned out and can't really handle any more bad news.

I had to have whiskey after last night's Girl Scout meeting, but not a Xanax. But I also don't have any Xanax, so...

I drove by Snoqualmie at 4:30 PM Sunday. Season ended at 5 PM. Just a few people left on the mountain. It was also in the 50s there this weekend, so it was a pretty sloppy weekend. Most of the mountain has been closed for a few weeks, there was definite bare spots in some of the closed terrain. Is Purg still open?

Mark Hamill liked my comment on Facebook today so I'm pretty much a celebrity by proxy.

I think you're right that the model needs flipped. But as you and I have said before, pay to play is all about money. It just kills me because select soccer was so fun when I was a kid, I played U14-U19. We started Q at U9 because it was clear she had an exceptional talent (she is sure as hell going to be better than I was). And I just found it to be weird. Even at U9, it was development is on your own time and coaches with A licenses trying to run 8-year old girls through drills that I wouldn't have run until middle school. First coach didn't care about winning, at least. But the parents did. I admittedly didn't like seeing my kid get stomped by some of the power clubs but I also didn't like when they would beat up on teams 9-0 the next year in the low division. I've also noticed that there's a lot less creative play and more emphasis on 1v1. I had to talk to Q because she kept busting out stepovers at tryouts and they weren't fooling anyone. I told her that the fancy moves are for getting yourself out of trouble. If you aren't in trouble, pass or dribble, because a step over is only going to slow you down if you are at speed. The best players I played with growing up did not do the fancy shit. They were just fast and very good at the small touches and direction changes, and change in speed. They knew how to avoid people, they didn't take people on or dick with the ball unnecessarily. Were you nearsighted by any chance? That might explain why your "range" is optimized at 1 meter and why you don't have good depth perception. I was far-sighted as a kid. Might explain why I could put the ball on a dime as a midfielder but hated tight 1v1 situations. (My depth perception is also not fabulous, but for some reason judging distance is easier for me.

We're traveling this weekend, next weekend maybe?

I don't think my friend is suing. She's just letting the district know what happened and why she pulled her son and decided to homeschool. I forgot we had a big victory for E. He has made friends with a girl in 4th grade. Her mom is actually a paraeducator and has subbed for E's para a few times. E's birthday was Saturday, and on Monday, the family actually sent a gift home with him. It was a science kit and just the sweetest gesture. The girls (she is actually a twin) signed a card for him and everything. He really doesn't have friends because he still does a lot of parallel play, so it means a lot that this girl plays with him almost every recess and while waiting for the bus. His OT also reported that he has been trying to facilitate some social opportunities during OT with some of the other patients and E is showing some good social skills (I mean, he's super sociable but he's not being controlling or jabbering about his favorite new thing). I'm really hopeful that he can start making some friends in the next few years, even if it's not a huge group. Q is quite the social butterfly and had already snapped up all the kids on the cul-de-sac, even the ones younger than E, so unfortunately a lot of the kids just see E as Q's annoying little brother. I'm hoping when she goes to middle school, we can rectify that, and maybe he can become friends with the boy across the street, at least. I actually think they would get along well.

The issues we had with the last select team was almost entirely girl behavior (and parent, by extension). While in some ways it was almost refreshing to not have the extremely hardcore parents, the inane banter about mani/pedis and the like I had to listen to on the sidelines made me want to gouge my eyes out. My husband started calling them Real Housewives of (Insert town name). The meanest girl on the team had a little sister who was an absolute terror, and everyone would say oh she's so cute, and I would watch and say that's a nightmare in the making. So when the girl grabbed Q by the neck during a practice because she was pissed that Q kept beating her in 1v1, I was entirely unsurprised but super pissed. These parents (and their daughters) were entirely focused on the image of playing select soccer, not development. That's how I know it's not a good fit for her; they just have completely different goals. I would be willing to consider her moving up to the next level team but I wouldn't accept a spot for her on this team again. There were a few girls who got it, but most did not. I was an all-around good athlete but not the best at anything. I didn't start soccer until I was 12 (U13) but fell in love and developed quickly, partially because of my natural athletic ability but also because I put the work in. I often say I know how to train at higher levels, and I have the mindset to do it, but maybe didn't have enough skill to get there quick enough since I was a late bloomer. My mom was really sick when I was a kid so I didn't get to go play on organized sports teams, so I was kind of a late bloomer to everything. I played 3 seasons of softball and 1 season of basketball. Softball was kind of the cool sport in my town, but I quit because I had a coach who was super pissed that I missed a softball game for a single soccer game (I did the same once for soccer, soccer coach didn't care). I wasn't going to play at higher levels, I was just a decent center fielder who really wanted to play 3B but I was always on a team with a good 3B. I loved street basketball and was actually a really good dribbler but not that great at shooting (and also 5'3"). I played 1 season of organized basketball and absolutely hated it. I quit those sports at an appropriate time (going into HS) and focused on soccer. I started skiing and bowling at 6, and actually stuck with bowling through my senior year of college. I played half a season of JV tennis but quit because there was too much homework freshman year and it overlapped with select soccer season. I really think my relationship with sports was a really healthy one and I don't see that in today's environment. Kids used to be allowed to try stuff and not necessarily be good, but we also had parents willing to put in the volunteer time who weren't just in it to make sure their kid got all the playing time. And sure there was Daddy Ball even then (the snobby girls I mentioned earlier, their dad was the select coach the last 2 years because the younger one was so bad that she wouldn't have made the team otherwise), but I feel like it's gotten more toxic.

Jacen how is your recovery going? It's getting real over here. District fired our SpEd director over racist comments in a meeting. And one of my friends pulled her son from school (same program as E) and filed a discrimination complaint. I think there's going to be some house cleaning coming up.

I kind of hoped she would be a 2-sport athlete (you know, like how some of us played multiple sports growing up), but I'm starting to think she's just going to get tired of the stress. Lacrosse has been a lot less fun this year. Part of it is the coach, but part of it is the girls are hitting middle school age and are just jerks to each other. There doesn't seem to be a team mentality anymore. I mean I never got along with everyone on every team, but my select soccer team played together for 5+ years (U14 to U19, but we were spread across about 3 years), we were pretty tight by the time I graduated. We could at least be civil to each other (until I ran into 2 of those bitches at a wedding 15 years later and they pretended not to know me, but really they were the only ones that shallow).

It's super gross. Lacrosse is getting there, too. Lots of cheating, stacking rec level teams. I think this is why she loves skiing. So much less stressful.

Alright I know this is the ski thread, but the unicorn club turned out to not be a unicorn. Coach chose to poach lesser players from the rival club. Even our friends who know girls who got spots say Q got screwed. And now rival club can't even field a team. Once again, adults ruin youth soccer. So in a few weeks, we try again. On the bright side, we will probably get to play with friends again.

I definitely sent that to a friend this week. It was an awful day. I attended a meeting today that they have put off for weeks because we needed all the right people together. I was considered a key contributer. My manager even told me, hey you need to put in your word early before people start dominating the meeting. So I spoke up. And was spoken over. So after waiting 10 minutes for someone to shut up, I used the hand raise function. After a few more minutes, 2 others raised their hand. Then the guy finally shut up and said I'd like to hear what Hand Raise #3 has to say. My manager said hey she tried to talk and she had her hand raised first. So I said a few things and relinquished the floor. Then they tried to default to Hand Raise #3 again and my manager again said, look he's #3 someone else is going before him. Then we all finally heard from #3, he asked to steal the ball and share HIS interpretation of what others said. They all love him, fall all over themselves, and I spend the rest of the meeting being talked over and interrupted. I was in tears by the end. It was the worst, most frustrating meeting of my entire career. This guy constantly takes credit for my and others ideas, restates ideas as his own, and everyone just fawns over him. Its disgusting and I'm over it. I was so disrespected. I told my manager I am about to excuse myself from this space and stop contributing because this behavior is so disgusting and no one will listen to a word I say if this guy is in the room. I'm going to start buying lottery tickets.

Starting my day looking up the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath. Turns out I work with a psychopath.

It was a really messed up situation where she got mad that E was fidgeting with random objects because she has zero toys, puzzles games, etc and then tried to gaslight him into saying she couldn't find them and that he couldnt have the dollar store sword I bought him so he wouldn't fidget with random items until he found it. She also accused him of stuffing a candy wrapper in her couch. Just as easily could be Q or her husband (who she has totally busted doing that in the past to hide that he was eating junk food). So we called her bluff and tore the house apart looking for the missing item and she finally admitted she hid it on top of the refrigerator. E got very dysregulated about it (not screaming or crying, just wound up and anxious). My husband laid into her for being an asshole to an 8-year old with cognitive impairments and forced her to apologize to E. She also admitted that she just took the sword because she did not approve of the toy he picked out because he might break something swinging it around. Like, she's just a horrible person. We may never stay there again because she does manipulative shit like this because she's also undiagnosed ADHD and probably ODD. Given how she treated him when we pulled him from Pre-K and asked her to help watch him for 4 months until Kindergarten started while we lined up doctor appointments and IEP meetings, its a pattern. I would never trust her with him. My dad is mildly stupid right wing, but at least he's not total batshit crazy right wing. But I would worry about the effect he would have on Q, who is a sweet little bleeding heart liberal feminist who also loves Jesus. And he is of the "have you tried spanking him?" mindset when it comes to E. He's just an old Boomer. What the hell is wrong with our parents, guys? Like that whole generation is messed up.

God I hope we aren't weird like our parents. That's some Boomer shit right there. We had a pretty shitty visit with my MIL a few weeks ago. Like, got themselves taken off the list of who will take care of my kids if we both die bad. I actually had to ask Q's God parents if they would do it. Right now they are praying we never go on vacation alone until both kids are 18. (Like we've ever been able to do that anyway.)

My head just exploded reading this. I need to go lie down.

This is totally my own fault for going in a diet in the first place, but I am on day 2 and already dying (as usual). I want to try carb cycling because I know something like keto is completely unsustainable for me. However, I'm struggling to find an app that does this properly, not to mention the amount of protein this pushes has me worried that I will never poop again. I've already had 102g of protein for the day and I'm starving. I'm supposed to have 100g of carbs and I'm 50g short, but there's 50g more of protein planned for today, but only 600 more calories. Right now there is a metric shit ton of Mac and cheese and pumpkin pie in my fridge. I know what I would rather have than a half pound of freaking salmon.

We had a PM conversation about ski gear and we thought it would be funny to talk about winter sports with all our friends who live in So Cal and Texas. Seriously, any of you do winter sports? My kid is keeping up with me, guys. I need to get better fast. Or put her back in lessons next year.

I feel like Cereese and I need a place to kvetch about kid stuff. The rest of you with kids or who like kids or just like us are welcome. So many of you may or may not know that we've been trying to figure out what on earth is going on with my youngest since, well, 2 days after he was born. The past year has been a pretty painful experience in going through the wringer trying to get answers. Finally, the last few weeks have felt like progress in getting my son help with medication, IEPs, etc. Today we went for our sleep study follow up and found out that he does indeed have mild sleep apnea, and they believe its something obstructive. I feel so bad! This could also impact his ADHD diagnosis (however, I'm pretty sure he does have it, but this is probably making it worse). I hate the idea that we are probably signing him up for another surgery, but I just want my little guy to be able to live his best life. The other thing I'm worried about is that it may just be reflux related, which brings us back full circle to when he was 2 days old and stopping breathing every time he spit up.

How long do you keep them for? Do you love a specific brand? Do you like tiny cars or big cars? I currently drive an 11-year old Toyota Highlander. It was the first car I ever bought myself. I loved the 2001-2007 Highlanders and was horrified with the 2008 body style. We were looking at a Honda Pilot originally, but I felt like there were a ton of blind spots and was not comfortable driving it. I decided to test drive the Highlander and loved it. I decided I liked it on the inside and that was where I was going to be most of the time, so I could deal with it being ugly on the outside. Its grown on me since. It's been reliable as heck (2 repairs in 11 years, but the most recent was a month ago) and has taken us on various road trips over the past 113,000 miles. That said, she's gotten a little slow in her old age and the gas mileage seems to get worse every year. I planned on driving it into the ground (200,000+ miles), but I don't put a lot of miles on my car compared to a lot of people. My husband has a Volvo S60 and its decidedly much more fun to drive. But I love not having a car payment, either. Last month my stability control suddenly went out and my dash lit up like a Christmas tree. I took it in and the air-fuel sensor had gone bad, and was a $1000+ repair. Not thrilled. It got me thinking that I need to be prepared to replace it if something goes really bad. Then, this week, my mother-in-law got in an accident while driving it and informed us that she does not carry collision insurance. We tried to file a claim with the other driver's insurance, and the other driver, realizing there was no witnesses or evidence, claimed she was not at fault (by the way, Safeco insurance is the shadiest company I've ever dealt with). Safeco said to go file with your own company. I decided to not repair it or do it out of our own pocket instead of filing with insurance because our rates have gone through the roof the last few years, and I'd rather not pay even more for something that is mostly a paint problem (no major structural damage). So the damage isn't that terrible, but I really hate driving a dinged-up car. I take really good care of my stuff, and it really bothers me when other people don't respect that (a whole nother thread about people breaking your stuff when you lend it to them). The biggest problem is there's a good scratch from the other person's side mirror where it gouged into the door. So I looked at new and new-ish cars today since my car is 11 years old and has lousy gas mileage. I have my eye on the Volvo V60 Cross Country, the BMW X1, or the Mazda CX-5. The BMW is obscenely overpriced when I start adding options, plus they do stupid stuff like I can't have this color leather with this color car (its PAINT). The Volvo is cute and we already have one. We rented a CX-5 once and really liked it, and it would be significantly cheaper. Ultimately, I need to go test drive these because that's always been the deciding factor, regardless of what I think is cute. My husband once convinced Volvo to give us a XC60 as a loaner when his car was in the shop instead of an S60 and I ended up hating it (felt cheap, way under powered). That said, not buying anything until my mother-in-law goes home in September when the kids start school. Or even fixing the damage if we keep the car, for that matter. I already knew she was a terrible driver, not letting her wreck another one! Also we have 2 soccer tournaments the next 2 weekends and I'm not sure I'm ready to give up the 3rd row seat, even though I really do want something smaller.