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Destiny Skywalker

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Everything posted by Destiny Skywalker

  1. I think her school is driving that anxiety on purpose to raise funds for new fancy shit that they don't need so they can brag about how superior they are. I think she will be perfectly safe on campus, but I admit it's kind of a stupid design for a Pacific Northwest school. E's school is a more secure campus, and mostly indoor. In all honesty she may just prefer that it's a more modern campus. Charter schools really aren't a thing in our area. I know they are in Florida, but they sometimes aren't well managed.
  2. Well we finally pulled the trigger and notified the school that Q is withdrawing at the end of next week and returning to public school after another meltdown Thursday night. Her teacher's my way or the highway attitude is causing her anxiety to go through the roof, and the Mean Girl stuff isn't being addressed by the administration. When other kids accuse Q of ridiculous stuff, the principal has badgered her to "just admit it so we can move on". No "let's hear your side", they've already decided she is guilty. Principal won't even call me, she sends an automated email. And Q has moved from being sad to angry, which isn't a good place. Teacher kept her in from recess earlier this week because she was doodling after finishing her math work early and told her that she was being disrespectful. And then yesterday she got out of line on the way back from gym to snag a drink from the water fountain, so the teacher made the entire class walk all the way back down the stairs and back up. I don't get the bizarre power tripping and I don't appreciate her using peer shaming to get a kid with anxiety to comply. So yesterday I pulled her out a few hours early and we visited the local public school. It didn't go as well as I hoped. It's an older building with a very California campus feel. Her school is running their 2nd security fundraiser campaign in 5 years because they've run out of shit to fundraise for, so she felt very insecure and unsafe on such an open campus. There are only 2 5th grade classes of 29 students and one of those classes is a combined 5/6 class. It's not ideal. She said she would prefer to go to E's school. In some ways this would be more convenient for us and honestly, really good for E because he wouldn't be on the bus (that part is a little less convenient for me in some ways but more convenient than hanging around another hour to drop Q off at school). I emailed the principal to ask if it's even possible on short notice (I do hear that the district will allow this to keep families together). All I can do is ask, right? And worst case they say no. Last night, I felt like Q was finally relaxed, and I asked if she was relieved and she said yes. I admittedly think this week is going to be a rough one. The school is going to be pissed because I put a stop payment on the tuition withdrawal (1st of the month), and we are overpaid by more than a month because they make you pay ahead, and I know they are going to try to fight to keep that money. I am also concerned that her teacher and administration is going to pull her aside to ask why, and they need to just leave her alone and talk to me instead of setting her off. I am concerned that all of this trauma is making her more easily provoked and her last week will be awful. If so, I'm prepared to keep her home.
  3. So apparently not only did we all think he was already dead, it turns out he's still alive.
  4. Pro tip, butterflies love bananas. Cut them in half lengthwise and lay them out with the seeds out.
  5. We had parent-teacher conferences today. Gen ed teacher had lots of good things to say. I'm glad she is able to focus on the positive. He is at or above grade level according to all their benchmarks. She admitted that assessing his writing ability is very difficult, however. She said he has lots of good ideas but can't get them out on paper. He does math in his head since he can't write very well, but she says she knows he's doing it because he can explain it. She wasn't worried about spelling because he can read above grade level. She understood my concerns, though, and said they would work with him on that. Friend whose daughter is in the gifted program says we should definitely get him assessed for it. I'm not sure he can make it through the assessment. Hopefully they have some IEP accommodations for that. Testing is in the spring.
  6. Dogs need a lot of consistency, and kids are tough to have with dogs because kids also need consistency but don't want consistency. I get it. Adding our Luna was also really difficult at a difficult time (lots of COVID, kid, and work anxiety). In retrospect it may not have been a smart idea but here we are. I love dogs but I may be done with owning them after this one. I do know of a good training place, but it's out by me. We had a lady come to us during COVID and she was a shitshow and expensive.
  7. I kind of wish we had gotten another Lab instead of the Golden Retriever. Their fur is so much more maintenance. The fur between their freaking toes grows and you have to trim it. You can pretty much spray off a Lab with a garden hose and they are clean. Also our Golden is dumb as a brick. Got in line twice for looks and forgot to go back for brains. Our Lab was way smarter.
  8. Is she a puppy? Puppies are the worst. I promise they grow out of it but I'm never getting another puppy, only adopting older dogs.
  9. I hate the referral process for gifted testing. I really don't think most teachers would refer difficult or neurodiverse kids. Q was also terrible at phonics, and is a bad speller, although I kind of blame the fact that she was in speech therapy at the time. I've always tried to have my kids sound words out, and then I get back a spelling test and there is a R in random places where there is not even a R anywhere in the word. I mean they can both read and comprehend just fine, but their spelling is pretty atrocious. No one has identified them as dyslexic because they can read, but I have to wonder.
  10. Alright, parents and educators, what do you think about learning loss during the pandemic? This has been on my mind the last few weeks and now I see this article. https://apnews.com/article/online-school-covid-learning-loss-7c162ec1b4ce4d5219d5210aaac8f1ae?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=news_tab I'm really starting to notice it in E, actually. He is a smart kid so he has gotten by. But I'm realizing he didn't get the strong phonics background that should've happened in 1st grade (2020-21 school year), so while he can read, he can't spell and it's put him even further behind in writing. He can still do math in his head and I felt like the resources for that were better during online learning. He is flunking every spelling test, even when he can answer verbally. I would say this is the first year he has had that has been like real school. It is conference week next week and I've heard from the special education teacher that his gen ed teacher is very worked up about his handwriting. The district that we are now in went back to in-person hybrid learning months before his former district did. Q was in person the entire 2020-21 school year, so she seems right on target still. But that 3 months of virtual school at the end of 2019-20 was awful and she was really struggling.
  11. Hopefully you got to breathe today because it finally rained after 110+ days. That was the driest streak I've ever seen.
  12. I would support a 30-32 hour work week being the norm. It would also make life easier for working parents since kids only spend about 30 hours a week in school.
  13. The thing is that I'm not sure where the feedback is actually coming from. There are 2 potential sources: 1. Our management team is almost entirely new and/or much younger than me. They have no idea what I've done except for possibly the last 3-5 years, and I've actually been in pretty stable positions during that time, which is highly unusual for me. I actually made a conscious effort to stick around on some of these programs because I was worried I was bouncing around too much. (That said, I actually like bouncing around because I get bored solving the same problem over and over ad nauseum.) 2. Many of our experts spent a lot of time on one particular program and were rewarded for it. I was on that program at a few separate points but not the long haul that those folks were. Many of them think if you didn't work on that program, you ain't done shit. I am hoping this is not the case, but many of them are retiring soon anyway, hence the need for me to step into the role ASAP. As for quiet quitting, I agree wholeheartedly. I've always been outspoken about not doing overtime unless there is a direct need for it (a specific deadline), and that I am willing go do it but it will be from home after normal business hours. I work with a lot of people who really enjoy milking the overtime and making 60 hours a week of pay instead of 40. Most of those people are older than me, however, so I'm hopeful that attitude will change in the next few years.
  14. So I am gunning for a big prestigious promotion at work that you have to apply for, interview, and be accepted. Applications are every 2 years, so I will apply in 2024. Today I got some feedback that I may want to consider waiting until 2026 to apply because I haven't worked on enough development projects. I have worked on every development project since I got here, with the exception of one that was a big disaster (and thank God for that). So I set the record straight on that immediately. The person giving me the feedback was shocked. He did not realize how wrong he was until I set that record straight. So he stammered that I should get my application ready and review it with an expert to identify any gaps. I can't even with these people anymore. I think they genuinely think they are being helpful but they haven't even thought it through properly.
  15. Let me tell you a story about my husband shopping on Amazon for truck accessories and happening across a very realistic, veiny looking dildo labeled as a F-150 seatcover and he clicked on it because he was like WTF. I told him thanks a lot for all the nasty shit about to show up in my Amazon suggestions.
  16. Yeah, that family member has their own issues. You are taking the right path, no body shaming.
  17. Honestly, I feel like boys are less embarrassed about nakedness. I guess when they get uncomfortable with it? I mean E is 8 and has no shame. Q is 11 and mortified when she sees him naked, which is about 3x a week because he just doesn't give a rip walking from his room to the bathroom for a shower (its literally the eoom next to his bedroom. He also gets distracted while getting dressed, some days I find him half dressed reading a book instead of getting ready. However, I will say that E doesn't like seeing the rest of us naked. He is more uncomfortable with other people's nakedness than his own.
  18. Did you get the girly Ugg boots? I have a few of the weird ass Amazon brands. Pretty sure it is all made in Asia. It doesn't last but it's cute and I can't find shit at Target anymore that isn't a crop top meant to be worn by a 23-year old that has never given birth or had a real job, for that matter. So my over 40 ass buys sweatshop shit on Amazon because it covers my saggy c-section abs. I should probably go back to buying clothes from Costco. I find some nice Eddie Bauer stuff there. I want to say I've picked up some Amazon essentials stuff for the kids, but maybe not.
  19. I did also get some news this weekend that reinforced I'm not overreacting to these bad environments. Her former soccer team that we left on very bad terms just got dropped to the bottom division because they are getting killed, primarily because they lost 4 more players by the end of the season and only gained 2 more at tryouts. They can barely field a team and have to borrow from the younger team. Now even the younger team (same coach) got dropped and I've heard from 2 more families that they are leaving at the end of the season. They may not even have a team for those 2 age groups next year or they will have to combine to cobble together 1 team and make the younger girls play up. Karma is delicious sometimes, but at least I can say it wasn't just me, at least 4 other families bailed on that environment within a few months. Q is waffling on whether she wants to leave the school. The truth is I know she's only staying because of her friends, namely about 4 of them. 2 of them are legitimate good friends and we spend lots of time with them outside of school. The 2 others are BFFs with each other, and she is the 3rd wheel, and honestly, their parents are not interested in facilitating their friendship with her. So I don't want to manipulate or strong arm her, but I think we need to help her see that she will be happier at the local public school, even if making new friends is scary. We will see how this week goes. She has 2 weeks until the end of the quarter, which is my personal deadline because we are on the hook for the full quarter of tuition if she even attends one day of the quarter.
  20. Lol, first one was a Mercedes, 2nd one was a Volvo. We gotta stop buying European cars. Let's see, what have we had and how did they die... 1995 Chevy S10. Got it used because the first owner blew up the engine and dropped a 4-cylinder engine in it just to resell. Decides to throw a piston through the hood on I-95 in 2005. 2000 Dodge Avenger. Broken door handles, aforementioned transmission sensor. Even needed a new paint job after 5 years because the factory paint was crap. Every engine seal failed and needed a complete clean out in 2008 at 108k miles. Sold to some poor 18-year old whose dad was willing to clean up the engine himself. 1999 Mercedes SLK 230. Bought used 5 years old. MIL spun out on US 1 a week after my husband pointed out the tires were bald and she called him a pussy for not wanting to drive it. Back end needed completely replaced and we found a missed bent control arm 4 years later. We had so much fun in that car until we had kids. Then I was pissed that it only had 2 seats and that made me solely responsible for daycare drop off and pickup, and then it started having random total electrical failures WHILE DRIVING IT. Made him trade it in for a sedan in 2013. 2008 Toyota Highlander. Bought brand new, was our major car for 12 years. I planned on driving it to 200k miles but it only made it to about 112k because honestly, we only put about 10k miles a year on our cars, if that. Gave me zero problems until the last 6 months I owned it, but both my husband and my MIL got into minor fender benders with it, and the car got a complete paint job 5 months before we got rid of it. One O2 sensor went out and made it undrivable, and cost $1k to fix. 6 months later, same problem. A friend let me borrow their computer and the error code said it was either another O2 sensor again or a cracked cylinder head. Didn't want to find out so we just traded it in.
  21. Honestly, every time I've had to do it, I'm so relieved. Every time it has been the right choice, and the couple of times I've ignored the kids and listened to the toxic adults, my kids were always right in the end. So my batting average is good but I worry I'm too reactive. I worry my kids aren't going to be tough enough, but if they're miserable, they've already been toughing it out. I guess no wonder we have so many adults burning out? I basically shooted my shot today with the school and reported all the little jerks making her life hell, and specifically said these kids think they can get away with murder because their parents are the top donors. At this point I have nothing to lose, and a couple hundred a month in tuition back in my pocket book. If they don't want to do anything about it, I know my answer. One of our good friends is also reporting one of the kids for making sexually harassing comments towards her daughters.
  22. My husband's cars always end up with electrical troubles. Mine always have the engine seals fail or a sensor fails somewhere that makes it undrivable. Once I had a transmission sensor go out as I was driving down US1. That was fun.
  23. I realize that I'm fortunate enough to have options here, but when do you pull your kid from a toxic situation? I feel like I have to do it a lot and I don't know why my kids can't just have stable environments. We are considering pulling Q from the private school and putting her in our local public school. Honestly, I probably should have done it at the end of last year after the awful year we had. Her new teacher has implemented this house system that is a direct ripoff of Harry Potter and its turned the kids against each other. The "rich" kids think this is a hoity toity prep school and get away with murder because their parents make big donations. I feel like the kids are running the school instead of the adults and they are making Q's life hell and her anxiety is through the roof. I'm sure public school can suck, too, but this school hasn't been the same since COVID. Academically she is killing it. All As except for an 89.7% B+. I don't think she's gifted, just a good student.
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