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Will the Chicago Bears Forgive and Forget?

Posted by NumberSix , 02 December 2011 · 411 views

For anyone who experienced retinal damage or cochlear hemorrhaging this week as a result of news coverage of the actions of certain individuals employed by the city of Indianapolis, I would like to apologize sincerely on behalf of the rest of our fair city that had nothing to do with it. Many of us will spend the rest of our lives trying to make up for the hundreds of years of inter-state respect and acceptance that this cultural aberration may have cost us. Please forgive us and feel free to visit our city's various attractions anytime, sports-themed though they might all be, even if you now feel compelled to boycott our hotels.

Quick reminder of what demands atonement: members of the Indianapolis Convention and Visitors Association created a very special homemade advertisement to show at a major Chicago business conference as an advertisement for Indianapolis' impressive convention-hosting capabilities. What was intended for internal use only became deadly when "Indy's Super Bowl Shuffle" turned viral. That's why YouTube makes a terrible clandestine storage closet, kids.

--> Pertinent article

This was all the rage (literally) in our Thursday morning news. For you masochists who just can't get enough, or who want to test your friends' mettle and dare them to make it to the 5:30 mark without experiencing nausea or loss of mental cohesion, the video has indeed been reposted in all its sunglasses-at-night pride and agony:


If you're unaware of the original "Super Bowl Shuffle", ask your mom or dad to explain it to you. Notice that nostalgic gleam in their eye as they recall the glory days of the '80s when a man could be nicknamed "The Refrigerator" without being either a reality-TV freak or a contract killer.

If this grave musical misstep never appeared in your local news this week and this is your first exposure to it, please pretend I never mentioned it and go back to whatever you were doing. Thank you for your discretion.

I hadn't heard anything about this, and I stay pretty wired to the news.
That's a relief, actually. Local TV/radio newscasters and social-media butterflies wouldn't shut up about it, so I'm glad to hear the supposed nationwide impact was blown out of proportion. I didn't relish the idea of famous comedians brainstorming new nicknames harsher for us than "Naptown".

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