Jump to content

Welcome to Nightly.Net
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!




Photo
- - - - -

Please Leave Your Angst at the Beep

Posted by Antilla , 13 January 2010 · 775 views

The answering machine was blinking. And blinking. And blinking. Twenty-something new messages in the course of a single evening. Sure, I'm pretty popular, but nothing like this had happened since I had that run in with an overly aggressive telemarketer. And then, with the push of the play button, the story unfolded. There was Eric. Crystal. Her children. The babysitter - apparently ready to pop out a few of her own. Yeah, she had went into labor and needed those kids to be picked up ... NOW. So this distraught woman, and a few of her closest friends, proceeded to call the wrong number, my number, a million-billion consecutive times.

Don't laugh. It really isn't funny. You can snicker. Snickering is ok. Giggling? Hmm. I'll allow that too, but I won't be happy about it. The real frustration comes from the lack of closure. The final message relates that the contractions are now quote, "ten minutes apart." Breech imminent. But then? Gah. Stupid cliffhangers.

*NOTE: the timestamps on my answering machine are incorect, but they're really only there to give you an idea of the frequency of the calls.

***

12:03 PM

(female voice 1) Hey, Eric, I need to have my sister call me like, very, very soon. I'm going into labor and I have her kids and she needs to come GET THEM.

12:04 PM

(unintelligible mumbling)

12:05 PM

(no message)

12:05 PM

(weird beeping noises)

12:06 PM

(no message)

12:08 PM

(no message)

12:08 PM

(no message)

12:09 PM

(no message)

12:11 PM

(female voice 2) (unintelligible) you need to call Beverly; she's gone into labor. You need to go get them babies now. Call me and let me know wha-choo wanna do. Love ya.

12:12 PM

(no message)

12:14 PM

(no message)

12:14 PM

(no message)

12:14 PM

(no message)

12:15 PM

(male voice) answerthephone

12:16 PM

(no message)

12:16 PM

(no message)

12:17 PM

(male voice) Call back. (unintelligible) here.

12:18 PM

(no message)

12:19 PM

(female voice 1) (annoyance factor 10) Alright, look, Eric, I need Crystal to call me NOW. I am going into labor, I need to go to the hospital, and she needs to come GET HER KIDS.

12:21 PM

(no message)

12:22 PM

(male voice) Hey, (unintelligible) wants you to answer the phone.

12:26 PM

(male voice) answer the phooooone.

12:31 PM

(female voice 2) (talking veryfast) Hey Crystal, it's Mom. Beverly has gone into labor and you've GOT to get someone to get these kids. Get up here ASAP. It happens to be 11:54, so please (talking speed ratchets up to nearly undecipherable levels) pick these kids up. Okay. (unintelligible) ... contractions about ten minutes apart. Give me a call. Love ya. Bye.




I don't know why, but this reminds me vaguely of a time in the mid-90s when AOL, for some reason, dropped one of its local dial up numbers, which was then re-assigned to some poor, hapless old lady. One night I had some trouble signing on. It was mostly busy, but finally when it did start ringing I heard, through my computer speaker, the old lady pick up the phone and say, "hello?" I quickly canceled the call and started to set my computer to dial the AOL 800 number for finding local access numbers.

Before my modem could get workin', the lady *-69'd my number and called me back. She simply said, in the tired voice of somebody who has just been called by dozens of computers all over town, "you are a sick, sick person." Before I could get, "No, wait, you don't understa---" out of my mouth, she hung up.

Oh well.

Poor lady.
Your computer accidentally on purpose prank called someone. That sounds totally improbable and awesome.
My favorite one was "(male voice) answerthephone" Haha. Not to get sidetracked here but those people who leave messages like "Hey Sonny, it's me so answer the phone. Answer the phone. Pick up if you're there." Yes, because I wouldn't have thought of that if not for your instruction. If I am there, I'll answer. If I'm on the can or not there, you're not getting an answer. So what is the point of using up half the tape asking me to pick up?

Back to this story, I suppose looking through your phone history and calling them back to get the end of the story is out of the question? Too bad.
LMFAO! This is so awesome I'm almost inspired to reattach my message machine to my home phone.

August 2019

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18 192021222324
25262728293031

Recent Entries

Recent Comments