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Best Villain Monologues Ever


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#1
Tank

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"I'm an angel. I kill first borns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls; and from now 'til Kingdom Come the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why." -- Gabriel (Christopher Walken), Prophecy
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#2
Exodus

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"I have always known about man. From the evidence, I believe his wisdom must walk hand and hand with his idiocy. His emotions must rule his brain. He must be a warlike creature who gives battle to everything around him, even himself." - Dr. Zaius, Planet of the Apes (1968)

#3
danger

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Do you seriously think I would explain my master stroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome? I triggered it 35 minutes ago.
-Adrian Veidt
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#4
Brett

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Lee Ermy's 'On Deadly Ground' rant. "he's the kinda guy who'd drink a gallon of gasoline just so he could piss on your campfire!..."

#5
The Human Torch

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I don't recall all the lines, but several of Al Pacino's monologues in The Devil's Advocate are badass. Maybe not so much in the line itself, but he makes it awesome.

#6
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#7
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The warden's whole "I will cast you down with the sodomites." speech in Shawshank. I use that at work a lot.
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#8
Tank

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GOOGLE. FIND QUOTES. QUOTES ONLY LAZY BUMS

#9
Tex

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Go and do likewise, gents. The money's out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close, close, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. "Oh yeah, I used to be a salesman, it's a tough racket." These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers.

I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, pal: why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your ****ing ass because a loser is a loser.

Glenngarry Glen Ross
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#10
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#11
Pong Messiah

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"I'll **** you, then I'll eat you." -- Emil Fouchon (Lance Henriksen), Hard Target

#12
Cerina

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You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI.

Hannibal

The man cuts deep.

#13
Lucas1138

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You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you,


Amidala?
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#14
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GOOGLE. FIND QUOTES. QUOTES ONLY LAZY BUMS


Nothing stops. Nothing... or you will do the hardest time there is. No more protection from the mods. I'll pull you out of that one-bunk Hilton and cast you down with the Sodomites. You'll think you've been trolled by a train! And the best villian monolouge thread? Gone... archived off, brick-by-brick. We'll have us a little bandwidth barbecue in the yard. They'll see the flames for miles. We'll dance around it like wild Injuns! You understand me? Catching my drift?...Or am I being obtuse?
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#15
Rock

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Best monologue ever?
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#16
Brett

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since we're on Jack... "now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But like my plastic surgeon always said; 'if ya gotta go, go with a smile!"

#17
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/\ On of the best lines in all of modern film

#18
Tank

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"Ah, Father. You're so wrong. Let me explain. Life, which you so nobly serve, comes from destruction, disorder, and chaos. Now, take this empty glass, here it is: peaceful, serene, boring. But if it is destroyed--"

(he smashes the glass, little machines emerge to dust up the pieces)

"Look at all these little things, so busy now. Notice how each one is useful. What a lovely ballet ensues, so full of form and color. Now, think about all those people that created them. Technicians, engineers, hundreds of people who will be able to feed their children tonight so those children can grow up big and strong and have little teenie-weenie children of their own and so one and so forth, thus adding to the great chain... of life.

You see, Father, by creating a little destruction, I'm in fact encouraging life. In reality, you and I are in the same business. Cheers."

-- Zorg (Gary Oldman), 5th Element

#19
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#20
Rock

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Can't believe I didn't think of this one first! (NSFW)



#21
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you didn't. torch did.

#22
Brando

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He didn't not think of it first?
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#23
danger

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:hmm:

#24
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No matter how terrible those movies are, this will always be amusing

#25
danger

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alright. i'll be the guy that posts it.


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